Chapter 18

Lena

I fell in love with Death, both literally and figuratively. It may be completely insane, but I can't help it. He makes me want to be a better person, not only for him but also for myself.

"Kellan, I know you said they won't take me from you, but how is that possible? If everyone else is taken away, why would they leave me?" I ask, terrified of how he is going to respond. My hands tremble slightly, so I tuck them between my thighs.

"When you saw me in my true form and recognized me, it broke one of their rules. Nobody is to see me in my true form unless they are being ushered to my realm after their death. I was forced into a conversation with the representatives The Others sent."

"The angel and demon?" I ask.

"Yes. These were strange circumstances. I am always to remain neutral, yet here I am, in love with a human soul. I was going to tell you everything that night, but you put the pieces together yourself." He smiles at me adoringly, and it pulls at the strings of my heart. "Your brilliant mind. You are the reason they gave us a chance. Technically, I did not break the rules. I did not reveal myself, and you were still unaware that you were a soul in my realm. Because of this, they decided you could have one more opportunity to fulfill your purpose. They were very firm in that I could not intervene this time. It had to be all you, because if I involved myself in any way, they would have taken you from me. It was agony watching you suffer, but I had to give us a chance. I believed wholeheartedly that you would have the strength." He shakes his head as though he is ashamed of himself for leaving me to deal with the brutality of Carson and all of the other students at Thorn Grove.

"Do you know what my purpose was?" I whisper.

This is such a simple question with an immense meaning. The entire time I've been here with Kellan has led up to this one moment, and I desperately want to know what that was.

He seems so secure with his answer. "I believe it was life."

"Life?" I mimic.

"Yes. Strange as that may seem, I was able to deduce your purpose the moment you dropped the blade in the trunk of your car. You chose to live rather than end it all. It seems every challenge you've faced here was leading you to the moment where you felt the most similar to when you took your own life in the bathroom."

"That's pretty fucking cruel," I state plainly. What kind of fucked afterlife is this, where I'm expected to go back to the point of wanting to kill myself?

"It is, and I'm truly sorry. I didn't know that's what they intended. I never want to see you broken like that again. It hurts me to see you hurt. "

"What does all of this mean now?" I ask.

Them pushing me over and over again to get to the point where I wanted to kill myself is extremely fucked up. I already lived through it once, but they felt like I needed to go through it twice. What would have happened if I decided not to drop the blade?

"I would have stopped you," Kellan states like he can read my mind. I already know he can't, but he must be reading my body language.

"They said you couldn't intervene."

"I know. I would have disobeyed them if it came to that. Thankfully, it was never a factor. You're much stronger now than you were when you first came here."

"You're right about that. Everything is different now. Knowing you and what it's like to feel love again has changed my entire outlook."

"You never have to go another day without me, pet."

"Good, because I'm not planning on it. You're going to end up getting sick of me at some point. You realize that, right?"

"Never," he says, pulling me on top of his lap to straddle him.

He leans forward, trailing his nose up my neck before placing a light kiss on it. I whimper as he continues his path up my neck and over to my ear to whisper in it.

"I could spend an eternity with you, inside you, and it still wouldn't be enough."

Goosebumps spread down my arms, and pleasure shoots directly to my core. Hearing him tell me how much he wants me is the hottest fucking thing in the entire world. I grind my pussy on him, and his hands reach around to grab my ass, aiding me in the process. He's hard, and I find myself craving his cock again.

I want to please him more than anything, so I slide off his lap and onto my knees between his legs. I look up and pause, silently asking for permission, and see the glint in his eyes. My hand reaches up to the button of his pants, and I slowly unbutton them before sliding the zipper down. He doesn't make any sort of effort to try and stop me or assist as my hand reaches inside to free his cock. He eyes me intently, waiting for my next move as I look down at his raging hard-on to see the tip of it leaking precum. I lean in, lock my eyes on his, and reach out my tongue to lick the tip.

"Fucking perfect." He groans. A smile forms along the edge of my lips.

Very slowly, I take him into my mouth, swirling my tongue along the way and listening to the pleasurable sounds he makes. I take my time sucking, bobbing my head up and down, all while working my tongue. My hand grips the base of his shaft, pumping it in tandem.

"Always so greedy for my cock. The perfect little whore for me."

His fingers tangle in my hair, and all of a sudden, he takes complete control, shoving my face to his pelvis. I choke, struggling to breathe as his cock cuts off my airway. His body begins to morph into a mixture of shadow and human as he thrusts his hips into my mouth .

Tears well up in my eyes as I try my best to keep my throat relaxed and let him use me. Fuck, I love when he uses me. A cool shadowy tendril wraps around my throat, further cutting off my ability to breathe as he brutally thrusts into my mouth.

"You're the perfect slut for me, aren't you, pet?"

I grumble yes around his cock because I am his slut. I will gladly be a slut for him until the end of time. I've moved my hands to his upper thighs, holding on for dear life as he face fucks me to gain his pleasure. What I don't expect is to feel pressure between my legs. One of his shadows found its way to my clit and is firmly rubbing it from the outside of my leggings.

Tears pour down my face, and drool has begun to drip from my chin as Kellan continues to thrust his cock in and out of my mouth. Darkness begins to fill the corners of my vision. There are so many feelings all at once. The shadow finds its way inside my leggings and directly to my pussy to shove itself inside.

"Look at you choking on a shadowy cock with tears streaming down your face. You better not waste a drop when I come in this pretty mouth. Take it all like the greedy pet you are."

The pressure on my throat releases, and the shadow inside me pushes and pulls, rubbing my walls in the perfect place. I find myself right on the edge of a climax as his cock jerks against my tongue, and I feel the spurts of his come shooting into my mouth, making me see stars.

My pussy flutters around the tendril, and an all-consuming pleasure shoots through my body. I buck my hips and moan, riding out the intense pleasure. This orgasm is less intense than the one earlier but still just as satisfying. He pulls his cock from my mouth, and a string with a mixture of drool and semen drips from it.

A whooshing sound fills the air behind us, and I turn to look at what caused it. I am stunned to see two figures standing next to the blanket behind us. My cheeks heat, likely turning a scarlet red from the embarrassing act of being caught in such a salacious position with Death.

Kellan chuckles and tucks himself back into his pants. His shadow leaves my leggings while his hand reaches out to wipe the dripping mixture of drool and come from my chin. He caresses my cheek afterward, reassuring me that he is right here with me.

His focus goes to the two figures standing behind us as he shifts back into his true form to address them. I move from my kneeling position to stand next to him. I'm not sure why they are here or what this means for our future, but I know he will protect me.

"Angel, demon, sorry if you saw anything inappropriate. Me and my girl were just... reuniting." He snickers as the angel rolls their eyes.

The demon actually laughs at his prodding toward the angel, and I let my body relax a little with their playful banter. Surely, if they were here with bad news, they wouldn't be joking around—at least, I hope not.

"We don't intend to stay here long, reaper. We just came to settle things with your human soul," the demon says .

My body tenses, and I look up at Kellan. He senses my worry, and his shadows pull me into an embrace as the conversation continues.

The angel looks over at me, demanding my attention. "You have completed your purpose. If you were any other soul, you would be leaving this realm with me. I take it that it is not something you are interested in doing?"

"No," I state. There's no sense in sugar-coating it. I won't be leaving with anyone besides Kellan.

"Very well. You have been given the option to stay in this realm with the reaper if you'd like. This choice cannot be undone. You will be Death's responsibility for all of eternity."

Death's responsibility. Like that's something he has to be burdened with. I look over to the source of everything I love and find him staring down at me with nothing less than pure admiration.

"Are you sure you want me forever?" I ask, giving myself one last moment of doubt.

He leans in and wraps his shadowy tendril around my throat to pull me closer to him. "If you doubt my feelings for you, pet, I may have to punish you for it."

Fuck me. Everything inside me melts, and I glance up at him adoringly. "Do you promise?" I grin, not knowing what's gotten into me. I just can't get enough of him.

I look back over to the angel and demon. "I'm staying with Kellan."

"There is one more thing you need to know. You will no longer be a human soul should you stay here. As you know, human souls are not meant to be in this realm permanently. Your essence will be transformed into a being similar to the reaper, a shadow being with the magic to appear in either shadow or human form. You will become an assistant to Death, his companion. As he is responsible for you, you will be responsible for aiding him with the reaping of human souls."

My brow furrows. I'll be a shadow being, too? I didn't anticipate that, but I suppose it's better than never seeing him again. Will he still want me when I'm more like him?

"You're okay with all of this?" I ask him.

"Lena, this choice is yours and yours alone. I never want to live a day without you. I've told you this already. I love you more than anything."

"I love you too," I tell him, shifting my attention back over to the two intruders in our realm. "I'm staying."

They nod, and the demon steps forward to snap his fingers. My body lifts into the air, and tingles overtake me. It's a weird sensation. I feel cold and nothing at the same time. My human emotions are still there, but the overwhelming feeling of despair and worthlessness that I've always felt when I'm not around Kellan is gone. I'm becoming the version of myself that I was always meant to be.

Magic continues to work through my body until, finally, it stops. I float just above the soil in the graveyard, my body billowing around me. I pull my thoughts together and bring my shadowy form to a shape that resembles a hand and hold it in front of my face. Oh my fuck, I'm a reaper. I look over to Kellan again, and he eyes me intently.

"Do you still want me like this?"

"I'll always want you," he says before leaning in to place a chaste kiss on my, um, I guess my face. I don't really know. I'm still trying to get this shadowy blob under control.

I take a breath and center my thoughts. Finally, my body transforms back into my human form, and my feet are planted on the ground. I look down at my clothes and see the outfit that I was thinking about covering my body. Never having to buy clothes will be a nice perk.

The angel and demon exchange a look between the two of them and then back over to Kellan and me. It seems a bit like they are wondering if I'm going to bail out at the last minute, but I'm all in.

"We are done here then," the angel states, but that's not good enough for me. After everything I went through, they don't get to just show up and then leave without answering any of my questions.

"Wait," I call out, and they both turn to look at me. "What about Carson?"

"I took Carson from this realm after he told you to kill yourself," the demon grins. "He's been having quite a good time where I dropped him off, don't you worry."

"So he's in Hell?" I ask

"Something like that," The demon says with an evil smirk, neither confirming nor denying.

I should feel bad Carson is likely going to spend all of eternity being tortured, but I don't give a flying fuck. He deserves it for all the shit that he put me through, for all the humiliation and shame I had to feel because of him. I know now it was all for a reason, but that doesn't make it any easier.

He took every opportunity he could to make me feel bad about who I am. He rubbed it in my face that my parents wanted him to date me out of sympathy. Wait. My parents aren't here. They were never here if I died on that bathroom floor.

I turn towards Kellan. "My parents didn't tell him to date me?"

"He believes they did, but no, they didn't."

I take a deep breath, letting myself be okay with the fact that Carson was exactly the soul he made himself out to be. I look over toward the demon. He is waiting for me to finish with whatever questions I have so he can go back to wherever he resides.

"Make him suffer," I say, my eyebrows narrow as the words leave my lips.

"I can send you a message every now and then to prove he's being carefully taken care of if you want."

A sinister grin crosses my face. "I definitely want that."

"If you ever get bored with her, send her my way. I see why you're so infatuated," the demon says to Kellan.

"You'd do well to stay the fuck away from my girl," Kellan grits and the demon holds his hands up in defense.

"I suppose we should be leaving now. I wish you two nothing but the best," the angel says, and with that, the two of them vanish into thin air, leaving Kellan and me alone in the cemetery again.

He looks over at me with the purest love in his eyes. "Are you ready for our forever?"

"Forever," I say as I shift back into my shadow form.