Chapter 12

Lena

I would recognize his eyes anywhere. The sparkling green hues draw me in and evoke nothing but peace. They are the only eyes I've looked into that did not feel like they were expecting something from me. I should be terrified, but I only feel comfort and a sense of calm. The strange pull I've always felt toward him feels so much stronger right now with him like this.

"Kellan?" I question, but still, he just stands there, looking at me as if I am a ghost.

I think he may be more affected by this entire scenario than I am, which I find amusing. I'm confused, sure, but I know he would never hurt me. He seems thoroughly traumatized right now based on the way his eyes refuse to leave mine.

"Kellan?" I ask again, waiting for him to confirm my suspicions, but he remains silent.

I wrap my arms around his midsection, surprised by how solid he seems, considering, to the blind eye, he appears more like a floating cloud of smoke and shadows. I pull him in for a hug, resting my face on his cloaked midsection. Chills spread across my body from the close contact, and I've never felt so sure I belong somewhere until right now. I know with full certainty that I belong in his arms.

"I know it's you," I tell him as dark shadows surround the parts of me that touch him. "I need you to talk to me and tell me what's going on."

I stay here like this for a moment, feeling his feathery touch all around me. I take a deep breath, taking in his scent, and it reminds me of a warm summer day after it rains, fresh and clean. When he still doesn't say anything, I release my hold and step back to look at him. His refusal to speak is extremely frustrating.

"Are you going to talk to me, damn it? I know it's you. Speak up and tell me what the fuck is going on, so I don't have to try and work this out for myself."

He turns his head to the side in confusion. "Why aren't you trying to escape me?"

"Why would I? You haven't done anything?"

"Lena, most humans who are not on their immediate deathbed have some sort of response to the sight of me: fear, anxiety, anticipation, something. The feelings I sense from you right now are peace, curiosity, and tranquility. I don't understand." His voice is deeper than I've heard it sound before.

"So, you're admitting it is you? I guess I don't have to take you back to your car at the graveyard then. Do you even have a car?"

"You're not focusing on the correct questions."

"The only question I'm focused on at the moment is whether or not my new boyfriend is the shadowy figure standing in front of me. If you could confirm, that would be fantastic." I can tell he is irritated with me, but I don't care.

A moment later, the shadowy figure vanishes, and the very handsome man I've been spending my time with appears in its place.

"Yes. I am one and the same," he confirms. "Do you not have other questions?"

"Is this a dream? I hope I'm not sleeping because if I am, then I should be concerned with how active my imagination is." I pinch my arm, and it hurts. I must be awake.

"You're not sleeping."

"Okay." I grab his hand and pull him back toward my bedroom. I don't want to be talking about this in the open, in case captain douchebag and my ex-friend decide to come back to the apartment.

Once we are inside my room, I lock the door and turn to face him. He is seated on the edge of the bed, wearing nothing besides a pair of shorts. The light that shines around him from the early morning sun makes me want to jump on top of him and have a repeat of last night. The tattoos around his arms seem brighter than usual; the black roses and smokey tendrils have a new meaning now.

"Lena," he warns, as though he can somehow sense my thoughts.

"Can you read my mind?" I ask, laughing at the words that just poured out of my mouth. Of all the questions I could ask, this is the first one. I bite my lip and glance toward the outline of his cock in his shorts.

"No, I cannot read your mind. I can sense your emotions. I can also see the way you're rubbing your thighs together. We have things to discuss."

He's right. I have to get serious. I ask the question that should have been the first thing out of my mouth when I saw his shadow figure in my bathroom. "What are you?"

"I am Death."

His answer is simple and yet complicated. "You're Death?"

"Yes, I am the harbinger of death. Many know me as The Grim Reaper."

"If you're real, what about God and the Devil, angels, demons, vampires? Are fucking vampires real? Oh my god! Are mermaids real?" I feel a little bit like I'm on the verge of spiraling out of control, but when I look at him, I instantly feel calm again.

"God and the Devil, yes, although I prefer to refer to them as The Others. Angels and demons, also yes. They're annoying little fuckers too. Vampires and mermaids are definitely not real." He chuckles at the last one as though it's the craziest thing he's ever heard. Almost as crazy as him being the Grim Reaper. "You should know there are rules, and The Others will not be happy about you discovering my true form and linking it to my human one."

"What will happen?" I inquire.

"I'm not sure, but it will most likely not be good. We will have to wait and see."

That sounds oddly ominous, and I'm not sure I like it. I want to ask him other questions, but a sudden realization shocks me to my core.

"Let me get this straight, last night, I fucked Death?" I can't help the laugh that bursts from me. It seems like the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and yet, he is standing right in front of me. I have to be sleeping. There is no way this is real life right now. I can't stop laughing.

"Yes, that would be correct."

"I'm alive, though. I don't understand. You have a human form but also a shadow form?"

"I have magic that grants me the ability to appear as though I am human. It is necessary due to the potential interactions I have with the souls I collect. My job is to lead them to my realm once their time in their human life has expired so that they can carry out their purpose. I watch and never get involved."

"Clearly you got involved with me."

"I did. Are you afraid of me now?"

"No, I'm not afraid, Kellan. I told you already. I feel comfortable around you. You make me feel safe." I shake my head and walk over to sit on the bed next to him. "Did I see you the day I tried to kill myself in my bathroom? I thought I was going crazy or hallucinating."

"Yes, it was the first time I laid eyes on you. I haven't been able to get you off my mind or stay away from you since that day. You have become somewhat of an obsession for me."

"I don't understand. How can Death be obsessed with someone, and why would it be me? I'm nobody."

He reaches over to grip my chin, forcing me to look at him. "You are everything, pet."

Pet. The name that he called me last night while we were intimate. I almost didn't connect the two pieces, but they are all falling together now. I thought I imagined his shadow form before. I dreamt he was fucking me with it. There was also the time I saw him in the corner of the room while I was getting myself off. How many other times has he been lurking around without me knowing?

"Pet? You've called me that before." I want to see if he is going to lie to me. If he can pick up on feelings, then he must know I've connected the dots. My mind can rationalize my boyfriend being a shadowy figure of death, but lying is where I cross the line, apparently. Yet another reason why I am truly fucked up in the head.

"I did. Last night," he tries.

"No, I've heard you call me that before last night."

He studies me for a moment before he nods. "In your dream."

"Was that real?"

"Yes, and no. I was not physically there with you, but my conscious mind was active in it. I felt the same experiences as you. You were the one to imagine me there. The thoughts were all yours until I manipulated them a bit. You were impossible to resist. I had to feel your sweet cunt even if it wasn't physically happening." My cheeks heat at his confession. His hand trails down my neck, and goosebumps follow the path in his wake. He rests his hand on my thigh, and my eyes focus on the contact.

"I saw your shadow form another time, too," I admit.

"That's not possible. The only times I've shown my true form to you was in your dream, accidentally today, and when you were bleeding out on your bathroom floor."

"You were hiding in the corner of my old bedroom. I didn't realize it was you at the time because I didn't get a clear look. I only saw shadows." I think back to when I saw the figure watch me get myself off.

His body visibly stiffens. "You saw a dark shadowy figure, yet you continued to pleasure yourself? Do you have no self-preservation at all?"

"You don't have to be an asshole. I didn't feel threatened, and I wanted to come. It's that simple. If I die, I die. I don't fear death, Kellan. I've been skirting it my entire life."

"You are so different from any of the other souls I've ever encountered."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not for me, but for you, maybe. You should, at the very least, be apprehensive of me. I am Death, Lena. I have been watching you, stalking you, for over two years."

"Is that so?" I decide to be bold and stand up to pull my shirt over my head before letting my panties drop to the ground and stepping out of them one foot at a time.

"You are such a curious thing." His eyes roam my naked body, making me blush. I can tell by the way he says it that he is consumed with nothing but thoughts of me.

"I get it now."

"Get what?" he asks.

"The reason I'm so comfortable around you. I've been craving you for so long. I've lived a shell of a life. When I'm around you, it's like I can breathe for the first time in years. All the fatigue and worthlessness I'm usually wrought with disappears with the slightest touch from you. I'm drawn to you and the peace you bring me."

"We are both drawn to one another then." He pulls me onto his lap. My legs straddle either side of him, and I can feel him harden in his shorts beneath me, his cock pressed up against my center. I do my best to resist grinding on him.

"When I'm near you, I feel normal, happy."

He grabs me by the back of the neck and crashes his mouth onto mine. The moment our lips touch, everything in me ignites. My lips part with a gasp, and his tongue slips between them.

When he pulls back, he stares directly into my soul. "When I am near you, every single fiber of my being comes to life. You bring life to death."

My eyes widen, and my eyebrows rise as I try to process exactly what he just said. I bring life to death. Me? The basic girl from Cherry Hill, with black hair, pale skin, and brown eyes, brings life to death? I look more like death than anything.

"Don't doubt yourself, pet."

"I like it when you call me that." I lean forward and rest my forehead on his, our lips so close to one another I can feel the vibrations radiating from him.

"You do?" he asks while trailing a hand up my back, giving me goosebumps. His touch is almost too much for me to handle.

"Yes," I breathe out.

"My dirty girl. You want me to fuck you, don't you?" He pushes his cock up to grind against my soaking center. "You want me to slide my cock into your tight little pussy?"

"Mmmm, that sounds nice."

He shifts into his shadow form under me. "What if I took you like this? I could fuck you like I did in your dream. Would a filthy slut like you enjoy that?"

"Fuck yes, I would," I tell him, grinding my pussy against his lap. I pause for a moment and pull back to look at him. "Is it the same for you? Do you feel the same sensations in this form as your human one?"

He grabs me and flips us around. My back is now on the mattress, and one of his shadowy tendrils holds my arms above my head. My feet are pulled to either side of the bed. Something grips at each one of my ankles, keeping me spread wide for him. He looms over me with those perfect green eyes that look right into the depths of my soul.

"It feels so much more intense to touch you in my natural form. Forbidden. Exciting. It's like every part of you devours even the smallest part of me. I'm fucking addicted to the feeling."

I feel it, too. Having his shadows all around me makes my body practically weep for him to touch me.

"Fuck me then," I beg, trying to pull myself forward to kiss him but he's just out of reach, and I grow frustrated.

"Are you sure you realize what you're asking me?" He seems to hesitate, but I am so turned on I think I would combust if he left me here like this.

"Fuck me, Kellan. And don't be gentle. Show me what it's like to belong to Death."