Chapter 34

K ing hadn't slept at all. He was still reeling from the whiplash of what had happened the night before. How, for those wonderfully brief moments he'd thought that he might actually have a shot at being with Lila for real. How much of a relief it'd been when he was finally inside her. It had been so long but still felt just as intense and consuming as it had before. More, even, because they knew each other better. Because he loved her.

It felt like coming home .

And then, he epically and most likely irreparably fucked things up. Again. The damned necklace. Why hadn't he just told her he still had it? And why couldn't he find the words to explain himself last night? She'd given him more than enough time, and he'd frozen. The look on her face stabbed him in the gut, and in the moment, his old hang-ups had risen to the surface. Thoughts that he didn't deserve someone like her, how there'd be no way she could ever be truly happy with a fuckup like him.

Around 3:00 that morning, he'd written her a note, which he'd left to the side of her sink, her necklace gently draped on top of it:

I'm so sorry, La. For everything. I'm sorry I let my fear and insecurities affect my actions. I'm sorry for not being completely honest with you.

This belongs to you, and I shouldn't have kept it. But I'm ready to tell you why I did, if you ever want to know. If not, I can respect and understand that. I'll leave it up to you.

Whatever happens, I hope you know that you are incredible. Your kindness saved me when I really needed it, so even if you come to regret our time together, I don't.

I can't.

K

After leaving the note, he'd gotten dressed and run over to the track, where he pushed himself to the breaking point until the sun came up, his legs and lungs burning as he ran mile after mile. He showered in the locker room, changing into the spare set of clothes he'd stashed there for emergencies. As he sat down on the bench in front of his locker, he couldn't help but remember the night Lila had come to him. The night he'd fallen ass over feet for her. The night she'd given him the best gift he'd ever received before or since.

You are not your father. You're a king.

King propped his elbows on his knees, his head bowed low, and cried. He cried until there were no more tears to wrench from his body. He couldn't remember the last time he'd full-out sobbed. It was probably the night when he'd told his mom that their bags were packed and that they should leave.

Fuck. Would anybody ever want him? Stay with him?

After, he just…wandered around the empty campus for a bit. It was a Sunday, so other than the few weekend studiers who used the library, it was pretty much a ghost town. He didn't want to go back to the house yet because he wanted to give Lila some space. At the very least, he could give her that much, especially since they'd be stuck in class together tomorrow. After walking a while, he began to feel lightheaded, so he decided to head back to where his car was parked near the house so that he could go get something to eat.

King made the slow walk towards home and then snuck into his car like he was a spy on a secret mission, all while ignoring texts from Knight and Bear. And then Demarcus. And then Will. And then even Jason from across the damn country, for fuck's sake. He finally just turned off his phone to stop all of the vibrating.

He stopped to get some fast food, which he knew he'd regret later, and then drove up to the overlook. It had been a long time since he'd driven up there, but it was the only place he could think of to go. He pulled into his typical spot, turned off his car, and stared at the valley below in silence. Even here there were memories of Lila.

At the time he'd brought her here, he didn't understand why, but now he did. There'd always been something about her, from the first time he saw her, that had spoken to him on a cellular level. Perhaps it was just her kind spirit identifying a hurt that she could help heal. Or maybe it's because all his life, he'd been searching for someone to love, for someone strong enough to love him back.

Lowering his head to the steering wheel, he breathed deeply, trying to find some semblance of peace. So wrapped up in his own head, he didn't notice the form standing just outside his passenger window until a soft knock wrenched his body upward.

He blinked a couple of times because it couldn't be who he thought it was. Not in a million years.

But when she knocked again and motioned to his locked door handle, his lucidity fully returned. Lila . He hit the unlock button, and she slid inside, locking the doors again once the door was closed. She got out her phone and quickly typed out a text.

"You've been gone for hours, King. Knight was about to send out a search party," Lila mused, her attention directed at the windshield.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"I made him promise to hold off until after I looked for you here." Her smile was both heartbreakingly sad and heartbreakingly beautiful as she turned to face him. "And here you are."

"Here I am." He managed a wan smile as he took in the face of the woman he loved more than anything else in his life. "I'm sorry."

"I know," she replied kindly, her brows slightly furrowed. "I read your note, and I'm ready to hear what you have to say."

King exhaled in relief. "That's… Thank you. Thank you for hearing me out." His breath stuttered a bit, and Lila reached out to lace her fingers in his.

"Take your time," she said softly. "I'm not going anywhere."

King's heart sped as he tried to organize his thoughts. "So, you know about how fucked-up my family is. All my life, the people I've loved have left me, whether it was physically or emotionally. I thought that was just how my life was going to be with everyone. That I'd always feel alone." There was a hitch in his voice, and Lila's gentle pressure on his hand encouraged him to continue. "Then I saw you."

He hesitated before continuing, "I've never told you this, but the day that Jason introduced us wasn't the first time I noticed you. It was the year before. I had gone in to pick Jason up because his car was in the shop, and you were working the salad bar. Your hair was hanging down your back in one of your signature braids. And when you smiled at a customer, it felt like a kick right to my gut."

King heard Lila's breathing stall, but she stayed silent, so he continued. "After that, I stayed away for a while. At the time I had no idea why. Now I realize it's because of the way you made me feel things. Not specific emotions, but emotions in general. I'd been so closed off that I couldn't even identify my own feelings."

The sun started to set, and the valley lit up with an array of oranges and yellows and purples and blues. King turned his head toward Lila's. "I was scared to feel at all, but especially to feel for you. Because, you? You're Lila fucking Alexander. There was no way I could possibly deserve to be with someone as wonderful as you. But damn if I didn't want you anyway.

"When you gave me that necklace, you said I was different from my father, that I was capable of more. And for the first time, I actually felt it. I actually believed it for myself."

He raised his free hand and gently stroked her cheekbone with his fingers. "Lila, that was the night I knew I loved you. That I always would. And after, I was an asshole and pushed you away—again—because I was scared I'd fuck it all up. That you'd eventually leave me because of it." He shook his head, frustrated by his complete and utter idiocy. "But I couldn't give you the necklace back, even after you asked me for it, because it was all I had left of you, of your faith in me."

A tear slipped down Lila's face as her glassy golden eyes looked into his, like she was trying to determine whether he was telling her the truth.

"I was miserable without you, but the memory of what you'd said to me helped inspire me to change. To heal. Which I hope you've seen. But I should have come clean about it. I'm still working through some insecurities, but it's not an excuse. I should have told you once we were back on better terms. I should have given it back. I'm so sorry."

When Lila unlinked their hands, King's heart sank. He waited for her rejection, of her exit from his life, and convinced himself that, no matter what, he would eventually be okay. That he'd done his best to answer for his mistakes, but that those mistakes might still come at a cost. He took comfort in that, even as he dreaded her rejection.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out her necklace. The tiny crown reflected the last bits of sunlight in the sky as she held it up for him to see. She leaned forward and wrapped the chain around his neck, fastening the clasp. She ran a hand down over where it now laid on his chest, circling the charm with her thumb.

"This is yours." Lila moved her hand up to the side of King's neck, her eyes molten gold as she pulled him closer. "So am I, if you want me."

His heart pumped faster and he exhaled a relieved breath, words temporarily leaving him as that tiny sliver of fear tried to reemerge. The fear that he wasn't good enough. That Lila would eventually leave. But he quashed it, his thumb reaching up to smooth the furrow that had appeared between Lila's brows as she waited for him to respond.

Nothing would keep him from her now. Not ever again, if he had anything to say about it.

"I want you," King murmured as he closed the gap between them and kissed her.

* * *

Later, King woke up next to Lila. After they'd made good use of the back seat of his car, they reluctantly separated so they could drive home. Knight and Bear gave them knowing smiles when they entered the house, saying nothing as Lila gave them a quick wave before King threw her over his shoulder and hauled her upstairs. Sometime after round three, she had rolled over to cuddle against King's side, her arm draped over his abdomen as she slept. The sheets were tangled low, exposing the delicate notches of her spine.

His hand softly traveled the length of it, tracing up and down, as she roused from sleep. She looked up at him sleepily, her smile the one she reserved only for him. Her fingers started tracing the indentations of his abs, and he flexed automatically as desire pooled low and his body responded, tenting the sheets in the process.

"I love you, King," Lila whispered.

King hauled her up so she was lying on top of him. He'd never get tired of hearing those words coming from her lips, not ever. "I love you too, La."

"Wanna show me?" Lila moved her body against his, and he could feel how ready she was for him.

And obviously, he did, in fact, want to show her, especially when she was moving her body like that.

"Dammit, La, let me grab a condom," King eked out, though the thought of having her bare was almost too much to process.

She stilled and propped herself up on her hands so she could look down at him. "Is there a reason we need one?"

He shook his head. "We get tested as part of our annual sports physical. I'm good. Hell, I have the lab results around here somewhere if you want to double check." King paused and then confessed, "I haven't been with anyone else since I was with you the first time."

Her breath caught, and her face lit up with the sort of expression that was more than just a smile. It was tenderness and joy and relief and trust. It was everything. "I haven't been with anyone else, either. Also, I have an IUD, so we're covered."

"Fuck yes we are," King growled as his control began to slip.

Lila sat up and reached down to line him up with her entrance. Then she lowered herself down slowly, inch by delicious inch, until there was no more space between them. She rode him hard, unabashedly taking what she needed until she came apart, and then King inverted their bodies so she was beneath him. He teased her with long, slow strokes before pulling out of her completely.

"What are you doing?" Lila's voice was adorably breathless and thoroughly pissed. "Don't stop."

"Shower. Now," King demanded as he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist as he led them into the bathroom to their walk-in shower. He turned it on and tested the water temperature before setting her down partially underneath the spray. His eyes caught a flash of purple, and he got impossibly harder at the sight of Lila's vibrator.

He picked it up and waved it in front of her face. "Forget something?" he teased.

Lila's brow arched as her eyes darkened with lust. "Nope." And then she reached out and stroked him, gripping him tightly just the way he liked it.

King kissed her, hard, before spinning her around. "Hands against the tile, legs spread," he whispered in her ear. He turned on the vibrator and positioned it between her legs but didn't make contact with her body just yet. King chuckled at her frustrated moans as he grinded against her perfect ass. "Trust me, baby. I'm going to take care of you."

"You better," she sighed over her shoulder, rising up on her tiptoes.

He entered her just as he pressed the vibrator against her clit. She exhaled a pleasured, pained moan at the sensation, her arms buckling where they were pressed against the tile.

"Close, La?"

She nodded and reached down to hold the vibrator.

He wrapped his newly freed hand around her stomach and braced the other against the wall as he kissed her neck then thrust into her over and over until she tightened around him and came again, his name on her lips. He followed, his vision flooded with white, his body shuddering from the intensity of it. King rested his head in the crook of her neck as they both slowed their breaths.

Then she turned to face him, a sated look on her beautiful face as she threaded her arms around his torso. "That was better than anything my imagination ever came up with."

"You're saying you've thought about us fucking in the shower?" He looped his arms around her, his thumbs tracing the indentations at the base of her spine.

"I'm saying that it wasn't a coincidence that my vibe was ready and waiting in said shower," she replied wickedly.

"I like the way your mind works." King smirked.

"You seem to bring it out of me."

"You're welcome."

Lila's giggles vibrated against King as her arms tightened around him and she laid her head on his chest. "Sometimes I get overwhelmed by how much I love you, King," she murmured.

"I know the feeling." King stepped back to reach for his body wash and then spent a fair amount of time washing Lila's body then her hair. She made contented sounds as she let him love her with his hands, and then she returned the favor, her hands traveling over the lines and planes of his body then softly raking her nails through his scalp.

Then, when the water started to run cold, they went back to his bed and dozed until the first rays of the sunrise sliced through the blinds, signaling the start of a new day.