Chapter 19

I t had become obvious throughout the week that Knight was not doing okay. Whatever had happened the night of Jock Jam had left the normally amiable Knight moody and reclusive. And since Knight was always there for King, even when King was acting like a jerk, King was there for Knight, no questions asked. He waded through the empty beer cans, pizza boxes, and takeout containers that littered Knight's room as he yanked the covers down off of his friend.

"Rise and shine, gorgeous. We're going to be late for our final if you don't get your ass in gear." King sniffed. "And take a damn shower. You stink."

Knight groaned and tried to pull the covers back over his head. "Fuck off, Spencer. My head is killing me."

King ripped off the covers in response, thankful that his friend didn't sleep in the nude. "Seriously, man, do you not care about athletic eligibility? You miss this final, and your ass is grass next year. The final is half the damn grade."

"Fuck! Fine." Knight finally sat up, slowly, and rubbed his eyes. King thrust some Advil and a glass of water into his hands.

"Take these and jump in the shower. I'll make you some coffee. It's a damn good thing you have a photographic memory, or you'd be screwed."

Knight grumbled and headed toward the bathroom. As soon as King was satisfied that Knight had actually started the shower, he headed downstairs to make some coffee. Based on what he'd heard from the other guys, the night of the party, Knight and Wren had gone upstairs together, and no one was sure what had happened after that.

A few minutes later, Knight staggered down the stairs, dressed and smelling a hell of a lot better. King slid a cup of black coffee in Knight's direction then took a sip of his own. He cleared his throat, unsure of how to play it. Knight had always been like a brother to him, including kicking his ass when his ass needed kicking, and King wanted to reciprocate.

"Look, if you don't want to talk about what happened, I get it. But I'm here if you need to talk to somebody."

Knight grunted, and King could see the naked emotion on his face. "Thanks, man. I…uh, shit." And then he started crying.

King was around the island in a flash and banded his arms around his friend. He held him while he cried, his large body shaking the both of them. "I've got you, okay? Whatever's happened, I've got you."

Knight calmed and stepped back, swiping a hand over his eyes. "Thanks, King. I appreciate that. I just… A lot happened that night. I thought that maybe things were finally falling into place, but then…"

"Then, what?"

Knight rubbed his temples and sighed. "She called me Aaron."

"Aaron, as in her ex, Aaron?"

Knight nodded.

"During sex?"

Knight nodded again with a wince.

"Well, damn."

"Yeah." Knight sniffed. "And then the fucker actually had the balls to call her right after, super high and confused. Which is awful, obviously, because he needs help."

He sucked in another breath before continuing. "I helped her find him and get him back to his parents' house. But afterwards, she just shut down. Didn't acknowledge what she'd said or what happened between us. It was like it was nothing. Like we were nothing."

His friend drew in a shaky breath. "I think I love her, man. But it's obvious she's not ready for that. She's dealing with her own shit. I think things might be too complicated and fucked up for it to ever work out. She's leaving next week, and I just… I feel like shit about all of it. And it's been hard for me to deal with. I didn't think that love could make you feel so damn miserable."

King could empathize. He wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone. "I'm sorry, Knight, really. I feel your pain. But maybe her leaving will give her the time to get over her shit while you get over yours." He shrugged. "I have to believe that a guy as good as you has good things coming his way."

Knight's smile was small, but it was there. "King Spencer, I think that behind that asshole exterior of yours is a pretty decent human being."

"Yeah, well, don't tell anybody, okay? I've got fear to instill and people to push away."

"People like Lila."

King grunted in frustration. "You know that's different. I'm not the kind of person who deserves a happy ending. Especially not now."

This wasn't the first time they'd talked about it. King had tried to explain everything to Knight the evening his friend had given him a well-deserved black eye, but it had been difficult to verbalize. Knight was aware of how dysfunctional King's family was, but that night, King shared just how much that dysfunction had messed with him, too.

"She deserves so much more than a guy with a fucked-up family who wouldn't know a functional relationship if it punched him in the face. Pun intended," King had remarked wryly as Knight grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and tossed it in his direction.

Knight had pinched the bridge of his nose and looked skyward for a moment. "King, you were already in a relationship with her, whether or not you choose to admit it, and it seemed like things were pretty damn great when you weren't making a point of acting like an asshole."

"I need her to hate me. It makes it easier for me to stay away."

Knight blew out a frustrated gust of air. "Look, I care about both of you, King. But you hurt her, so much. And you're hurting yourself, too. It doesn't make any sense. You two are so good together." He shook his head. "Look, I can't get in the middle of this anymore. This is between the two of you. But I'll keep punching you if you keep acting like a dick. And if you keep making her cry."

"Fair," King had conceded, even as his stomach bottomed out. He hated himself for making Lila cry.

As he went to leave, Knight had turned around and said one final thing: "I hope one of these days you stop getting in your own way, King. Because you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for."

As if Knight knew where King's brain went, he repeated his words from that night, verbatim, thanks to his perfect memory.

King smirked. "So you've said before."

Knight's expression turned determined. "We're going to be okay, King. Both of us. We're going to figure our shit out."

King glanced at the clock. "And make it to our final on time."

"Yeah, also that."

"If you do better on this than me without actually studying, I'll kick your ass," King joked.

"You can certainly try," Knight replied with a smile, some of the former brightness returning to his face.

It was then that King had the sense that, at least for Knight, things would eventually be okay.