4: NOVA

I’m reviewing a list of applicants for independent authors who want to sell their books in my bookstore. I’ve always been an avid reader, and there are so many talented authors who people haven’t taken a chance on because they’re unaware of them.

I want to do my small part in changing that and making sure a variety of authors have the opportunity to showcase their works before new audiences.

Some of the applications are from well-known authors. While I don’t want to ignore those, I am trying to find some who are lesser known. Those will be the ones that I display at the front of the store and around the checkout center.

The others will be further back in the store because I know that people will automatically look for them. If they don’t see them, they’ll ask for them, and we can point them in the right direction. Hopefully, placing the lesser-known authors in the front will generate interest, and people will read the blurbs and maybe take that leap of faith.

A knock sounds at my door, but I’m deep in concentration, and while I know I should answer, I’m having trouble pulling away from reading the blurb of one of the newer authors.

“Delivery for you,” Briana calls out through my partially opened door with another knock.

Looking up from my computer, I struggle to maintain my composure at the bouquet of orange buttercups in her hand.

“For me?”

“Yeah, that’s what the card says. Not that I opened it to read it, but your name is typed on the outside,” she says, tapping the card attached to the bouquet.

I stand and force a smile as she brings them to me.

I hope these brighten your day the way you always brighten mine.

XOXO

“Who are they from?” she asks when I finish reading the card.

“I don’t know, it doesn’t say.” It would be easy to assume they’re from Kai, but today isn’t the first time that I’ve received flowers from an anonymous sender. This has been happening for the last three weeks as I’ve been working to get the store together for our grand opening. They’re always different flowers, but always orange, my favorite color. Also, the flowers are usually sent through different courier services and different floral boutiques. Although I’ve called them all, none of them seems to know who my sender is. The person orders online and then pays with a prepaid Visa card.

I seriously doubt it’s Kai because I’ve never known him to be the sweet and romantic type. Besides, he only recently found me.

“Ohhh, boss lady has a secret admirer. How cool is that?” she coos, making me blush.

Shaking my head, I reply, “Don’t you have inventory to log.”

She laughs and says, “Mm-hmm. I may as well get back to it because one of us needs to be getting some work done today.”

“Just because I received flowers doesn’t mean that I can’t get any work done.”

“Mm-hmm. Good luck with that,” she says, waving and walking out of my office.

I shake my head and smile, still holding the flowers that came with a beautiful vase. Walking to the window on the right side of my office, I place the vase there and admire the flowers for a moment.

I want to call Kai, but I saw him and an Asian man hop on their motorcycles about an hour ago. I haven’t heard them return, and the way that they peeled out of the parking lot, I’m sure there was something important happening. I know that he’s in a motorcycle club and that he owns and runs the dispensary a few doors down, but other than that, I’m not sure what kind of stuff he gets into.

As much as I don’t want to think about it, my guess is that it probably has something to do with drugs. I bite my lip thinking about that, hoping and praying that he doesn’t get into trouble. Chuckling under my breath, I think about the irony of my life.

The daughter of a teacher and Marine, I went from being a foster child in my late teens struggling with depression to a surgeon’s wife, and now falling for a biker dude. Like, what the entire hell? I’ve made some type of interesting journey on the road of life.

My heart ramps up when I think about seeing Kai tonight. He usually drops by when the store closes for coffee and conversation.

I don’t want my staff to know that I’ve been hanging with Kai, so I’m glad he comes after the store closes. It’s not because I’m ashamed of him because I’m not, but it’s as though he and I both have this unspoken promise to keep it a secret that we’ve been spending so much time together lately.

I don’t know why he’s keeping it a secret from his “brothers,” as he calls them. I just know that he is. As for me, I keep it a secret because it isn’t a secret what my staff thinks of his MC. I don’t know my neighbors well enough to talk about him with them, so I keep it to myself. Besides, if anyone had anything negative to say about Kai, I would take it personally.

I owe that man my life. He literally saved me from death. Tears fill my eyes when I think of the past.

––––––––

“Nova? Nova?”

I heard the voice coming at me, fighting its way through a deep, thick fog that cocooned me. The fear and the concern didn’t rattle my nerves or even penetrate the thick cloud around me. I was determined to go through with it because it was the only hope that I had.

My fingers shook, and my hand trembled as I held the rope. Stepping onto the chair, I looped the thick cord around my neck and jumped off the chair.

“Noooovvvaa!

Arms wrapped tightly around me, shoving me up. I fought against them, trying to surge forward, but my strength was no match for his. I clawed at his hand as he worked to tug the noose over my head.

When he finally pulled it free, our bodies slammed onto the dirty garage floor with a loud thug and lots of pain.

“Let me go!” I cried between choking coughs.

“No!” he grunted in my ear.

His grip on me tightened, and I collapsed into a bucket of tears.

“Why, Nova? Doncha know that you’re all I got in this world?”

Those words only made me cry harder. Ripped something inside of me to shreds while healing something deeper that I didn’t know was broken.

“It hurts, Kai. It hurts so badly.”

“I know,” he muttered in my hair, and for the first time, I could tell that he was crying too. “I know.”

We laid on that floor for what felt like hours that afternoon. I cried, ranted, pleaded, slept, and cried some more. We talked and cried together. Everyone was at work and school, and by the time we got up, the others were home. Still, I didn’t feel like going into the house with anyone else.

I just knew they would be able to see the shame of what I’d done...or tried to do written on the lines of my face or the possible line around my neck where I’d tried to hang myself. Kai said there was no line, but I still wondered if the others might be able to tell.

So, we stayed in the garage all that evening, too, until the sun went down.

“You scared me,” he grunted gruffly.

“Nothing scares you, Kai.”

“Everything scares me, Nova. Sometimes I get tired of being scared.”

“Is that why you act the way that you do? Always getting into trouble.”

Shrugging, he replied, “Partly. Part of it is I’m tired of adults’ shit. Seems all the adults around us always telling us what we need to do, and ain’t none of ‘em got their shit together either.”

I nodded.

“You gonna tell Mary and Art?”

He cleared his throat as he traced a line in the dirt with the toe of his shoe. We’d moved from the garage to the swings in the backyard under the large oak tree.

“No. I’m not telling ‘em shit.”

“They might...they might try to put me in the hospital.”

“Said I’m not telling ‘em shit.”

“The others might.”

He turned to look at me, staring at me the way no one ever had. I often felt that people didn’t see me anymore, that I’d become invisible after my parents’ passing. It seemed as if I didn’t matter to anyone anymore, so it was easier to just fade into the background.

“What happened this afternoon...we’re never talking about that again. You understand? That was a bad mistake on your part. You were just feeling low and...lonely, but I promise you I ain’t never gonna leave you lonely again, Nova. You understand that?”

I nodded.

“You’re my girl. Mines to protect. Mines to look after. Mines to love. Kay?” Kai asked, brushing his knuckles against mine as I gripped the rope on the swing tighter.

“Yours?”

A smile crossed his lips and then slipped away. Frowning, he asked, “You do wanna be my girl, doncha?”

“Like...Adrian and Matt at school?” I asked shyly about a popular senior couple at school.

I’d first met Kai in a foster home at thirteen. I was the new kid, and he was always in trouble. One day, we became friends when we both got into trouble for getting home from school late. He’d had detention, and I’d been bullied by some kids all day at school. One of the girls and her friends threatened to jump me after school. I’d snuck out of our last period early and hidden in the woods by the playground until pretty much everyone had left, even the teachers.

I’d walked home alone that afternoon and came in just as Kai was getting lectured by Mark, our foster dad at the time. He’d turned that fury my way, and I’d been placed on punishment too, not allowed to leave the room except to go to school and to use the bathroom. I even had to take my meals in my room. Kai’s room was next to mine, and we started talking through the vent system when he realized he could hear me crying. We’d become good friends but lost touch when he was sent away to another foster home.

Meeting up two years later was a godsend. I’d nurtured a crush on him since our first time together in a foster home, so hearing him say what he’d said just now made me wonder if it was just my imagination or if he liked me too.

“Yeah, like Adrian and Matt at school,” he said, smiling at me and brushing his knuckles over my face.

Leaning forward on his swing, he bumped mine shyly a couple of times before he ducked his head around the rope and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I closed my eyes, basking in the feel of his soft lips on my skin. When I finally opened my eyes, he was staring at me, and then he smiled and chuckled.

“What’s so funny?”

“You.”

“Why?”

“You just are. But you’re my girl, so I’m okay with that.”

I smiled, loving the way that it sounded being called his girl. He leaned in again, and this time, he brushed his lips softly against mine. My eyes closed, loving the way that it felt and not wanting the moment to stop. But it did all too quickly.

“Kai? Nova?” Tara, one of the other kids at our foster home, called from the back door.

We jumped apart so quickly, but she’d seen us. She came flying across the yard and stopped a couple of feet in front of us with her hands planted firmly on her hips. Tara was a junior at our high school, where Kai and I were sophomores.

“Not sure what y’all doing out here, but Mary just called everybody to dinner. She’s been looking for you two all afternoon. Here,” Tara said, handing me a worn copy of To Kill A Mockingbird.

“What’s this for?” I asked.

“You’d better act like you were out in the garage studying for an English test tomorrow. She’ll believe it,” Tara said.

“Thanks,” I muttered, smiling at her.

“Thanks, Tara,” Nova said. “I’ll come through the front door and tell her I just came from a game of basketball at the court. I’ll be in there in about five or ten minutes. You two go in,” Kai said.

“You sure?” I asked, getting off the swing.

Winking, he said, “Go in. I’ll be fine.”

Tara and I walked to the back porch as Kai walked to the side of the house, but not before I saw the tip of his cigarette lighting up. He stole cigarettes from Art, our stepfather, all the time. He only smoked when he was stressed, though.

I felt bad that I’d scared him earlier, but I was thankful to still be here. Thankful that I had Kai watching over me and amazed at how different I felt than I’d felt earlier in the day: hopeless.

.

With a glance up at the sky, I blew a kiss to my parents, believing once again, for the first time in a long time, that they were watching over me again. They’d sent Kai to protect me.