17: NOVA

It took a week and a half to convince Kai that I needed to return to my bookstore and carry on as though all was well. It’s been almost three weeks since I returned, and I’ve finally found my peace. As much peace as a person can enjoy, considering there’s an unidentified stalker on the loose.

In some ways, I’m relieved because I haven’t had any incidents since my house burned down. The only challenge I’ve faced is the red tape that I’ve been going through with the insurance company to get my claim processed.

While I miss my neighbors, I’m glad to at least be back at work with my staff. I haven’t shared anything with them except that I took an extended vacation to take care of my family back home in New Mexico. No one questioned me about that. They simply expressed their happiness that I’d returned because they missed me greatly.

“Nova, I’m getting ready to head out of here for the night. Be safe,” Martin, my assistant manager, says.

“I will. I’m right behind you as soon as I finish these reports,” I say, waving a hand at the computer.

“Malik and Clark are both still here.”

“Okay, maybe I’ll walk out with them if they’re still here when I leave.”

He smiles, winks, and closes my office door behind him.

My phone buzzes, and I answer it.

“Almost done?” Kai asks by way of greeting.

“Um...probably another half an hour, and I’ll be ready.”

He’s been escorting me back to the compound every night since I returned.

“All right. Church was called at the last minute this evening. Don’t think it’ll last long, but I just wanted to call to tell you to sit tight until I get there.”

“I’ll be fine driving by myself, Kai. Nothing’s going to happen between here and there.”

“I’m not taking that chance. Especially with this bastard still on the loose,” he says.

“Fine. I’ll wait for you.”

“Good girl,” he says, clicking off the phone.

I giggle and shake my head, returning my attention to the report on the screen. My numbers are not aligning with where they should be. Something’s out of balance, but I can’t figure out where it’s coming from.

Opening the report from the coffee shop, I do a V-lookup with the sales compared to the inventory. Everything balances there. I then do the same with the books and gifts, and I’m still balancing. It’s not until I get to the champagne bar and compare its inventory with the sales that I find that I’m out of balance.

Today is the first day that I started doing the reports again since I returned. During my absence and on my return, I had Clark, my champagne bar attendant, taking care of these. He’s an accounting major in college, and I thought it might give him excellent experience.

I should have gone with my first instinct and had Martin do the reports since he’s the assistant manager. He normally does them anyway on my days off, but I thought it might be great to give Clark the experience that he needs, and Martin agreed.

I continue to filter through the reports and notice that I’ve been out of balance since he took over. That’s my fault because I should have checked behind him. Annoyance fills me as I think about how he hasn’t reported it once.

Sliding my feet into my shoes, I push back from my chair and head into the main store. As I make my way to the opposite side of the store, I notice the coffee shop is dark. Malik has already left for the night.

The champagne bar is also dark, so I know that Clark must have already left, as well. I’ll confront him tomorrow evening when he reports in after class. Frustration fills me, but at least I know that I’ll have a night to mull over how I want to handle this.

I’d like to believe that it’s an honest mistake, not that the kid is stealing from me. Yet, the numbers don’t lie, and the more I look over the reports, the more it’s not looking good for him. When I approach him tomorrow, I’ll make sure that Martin is in the office with me when we have this conversation.

I review the reports one final time for accuracy, print them off, and sign them before locking them away in my drawer. Shutting my computer down, I check the time and see that forty minutes have passed. Pulling my phone out to make the call, I hope Kai is on the way.

“Hey,” I greet.

I can hear the wind blowing, so I know that he must be on the way.

“Hey, just left the clubhouse about five minutes ago. I should be there in another ten, babe.”

“That’s fine. Take your time and be safe. See ya soon.”

“A’ight.”

I end the call because I don’t want him talking while riding his bike. I’d much rather he be safe, and we can talk later.

I bite my bottom lip when I think about the sort of talking we’ll do. Since I’ve moved back into the cottage, Kai and I spend every night together, and most of them are having sex. We haven’t approached any topic about a relationship or anything of that nature.

I think both of us are afraid to broach it, knowing that it’s created tension in the past. Yet, we’re both more than happy to oblige each other sexually to satisfy our cravings for one another.

I lock my office just as I hear a noise at the back of the store. Frowning, I pull my purse straps up my shoulder and stay still for just a moment until I hear it again.

Heading in that direction, my heart pounds mercilessly in my chest. I think about the gun that’s in my car and wonder if I should grab it first and then return. Yet, I doubt there’s a reason to have my gun other than my anxieties are on ten after the year I’ve had.

I creep past the Sci-Fi section, and just as I make my way through the mystery section, I think that I see something move.

“Hello?” I finally gather the courage to call out.

A shelf falls over, startling me, and I begin to back up towards the front of the store. Maybe I’m not so goddamned brave after all. Maybe I do need to go to my car to get the gun.

Clark’s coming toward me, running his fingers through his long blonde hair. His eyes look wild and a bit red as he stalks in my direction.

“Nova, were you looking for me?”

“Yes, but I thought you’d left for the day. The champagne bar was closed.”

He jerks his head towards the rear. “Had to use the restroom before I left.”

“Oh, okay. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he sniffles, wiping his eyes. “You need me?”

“I, um, had a question about the reconciliation reports. They’re out of balance.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, but not all of them. Just the champagne bar.”

Shrugging, he steps closer again and says, “I don’t know what I could’ve done wrong. I can take a second look.”

“Yeah, we do need to discuss it, but I was thinking tomorrow. I’ve closed it out and signed off for the evening.”

“Well, I can’t think of a better time than now,” he says.

“I’m running late, Clark,” I say, taking in his slightly disheveled appearance and the wild look in his eyes.

Something’s off, and I don’t feel safe or comfortable around him. As though he reads my mind, he reaches out and grabs my wrist.

I jerk back, but his grip tightens.

“Come on. We’ve got nothing but time.”

“No. I really have to go, Clark. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Can’t think of a better time than now. Come on, it’ll be like old times. You and me...chatting, a cup of coffee, or...maybe some champagne. Celebrate the turn of things,” he rambles on.

“Clark, please let my wrist go.”

Smiling, he says, “Why would I do that? Not when I finally have you alone. I’ve been patient, waiting for us to get some much-needed alone time, Nova.”

“What are you talking about, Clark?”

“Talking about how we never have time to sit and chat anymore.”

“We chat.”

“No...not since you came back. You never come to the champagne bar anymore like you used to.”

“Clark, I rotate around the store with everyone during closing procedures or lunchtime. You know this.”

“No, the only thing that I know is that I’m part of your game, Nova.”

“What game, Clark?”

“The one you play between me and the biker dude. The one that runs that weed shop. Oh, you didn’t think I knew, huh, Nova,” he growls, jerking me against his body.

I try to wrestle away, but he pulls a knife out and waves it in my face. My stomach lurches, and my heart pounds so loudly that I can’t hear anything else.

His breath reeks of alcohol and not just the champagne that he serves.

“Clark, I have never played with your emotions. You’re my staff, just like everyone else.”

“No, I see the way that you look at me and the way you smile at me. I saw how your eyes lit up when you saw me at the beach that day,” he slurs.

He pulls the knife up to my neck and nuzzles the side of my ear. I close my eyes, willing the vomit to go away that’s rising within.

“Clark, I care about you a lot. I want what’s best for you the way that I want what’s best for all the staff.”

“Mm, I don’t think so. I think you wanted me as much as I wanted you. But that asshole came back.”

“Clark, have you been drinking?”

He laughs. “No more than the usual amount,” he slurs. “I want to know why you haven’t been spending time with me lately. Is he keeping you busy at night? Huh? Is he doing the things to you that I can only dream of?”

His voice has taken on a desperate pitch, and I’m worried that he might hurt me before Kai arrives.

“Is he the reason that you couldn’t stay with me on the beach that day?”

“Your friends were waiting for you, Clark.”

“No. I lied,” he says, sniffing and laughing. “I’d just met them that day.”

“Why were you there?”

“Wasn’t it obvious? To see you. To check on you and see if you were out of town or not. But you know what, Nova? You lied!”

My hope is that when Kai gets here, he hears what’s happening first before he comes in. I know that it won’t be much longer before he arrives. I want to keep Clark talking long enough to catch him off guard.

“There’s been a lot going on, Clark, and I—”

“Lies!” he says, pressing the knife’s blade against my throat.

Tears prick my eyes, and I swear if I manage to get free, I’m kicking his ass.

“I’m not lying about anything now, Clark,” I say, trying to keep my voice calm and neutral, but damn it’s a struggle.

“Why do you keep saying my name?” he grunts.

“We’re friends, Clark, and I enjoy your friendship. I enjoyed the talks we had during the lunch hour and right at closing. We’ve talked about everything and...and...and I miss that too. Unfortunately, things have been so crazy lately, but I was hoping we could get back to that.”

“No, you never hoped that. You’re lying to me just like all the others. You will pay for your mistakes, just as they did.”

“Who, Clark? Who lied to you, honey?” I ask in a soothing tone.

“Don’t you fucking patronize me!” he sneers, dragging the knife down to my collarbone and just a little beyond before he presses it into me.

I feel a warm sensation right above my breast. When I glimpse down, I see my yellow blouse ripped and a trickle of blood staining the material. Closing my eyes, I whisper a silent prayer and strengthen my resolve to keep the tears at bay.

“All the ones who said they loved me and pretended to be interested in me only to lie. I found them with other men in their apartments, hearing them talking about me and laughing at me. You’re just like all the rest!”

I have no idea who he’s talking about, but if I wasn’t creeped out before, I damn sure am now.

“I’m sorry they hurt you, Clark, but I never want that for you.”

“You’re a liar,” he says, and I can hear in his voice that he’s crying.

Clark grips my breast and flicks my nipple, and revulsion rises in me.

“Clark, please don’t.”

“I bet that’s not what you say when that filthy biker touches you, huh? I bet you’re not begging him to stop. No, in fact, you’re probably saying, ‘Please, give me more, touch me there,’” he says in a girly voice, mimicking me.

“Clark, who hurt you? What were their names?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because I want to find them and...make them pay.”

Laughing, he licks the side of my neck and whispers, “It’s too late. They’ve already paid, just as you’re about to.”

Elbowing him in the ribs, I manage to break free. Running, I head in the direction of my office because I know that I won’t get the front doors unlocked in time to make it out. He’ll catch me before then.

I’m running my ass off and screaming the entire time, knocking shelves down as I go, hoping that it will slow him down. My chest burns, and I know it’s a mixture of adrenaline and the pain from the cut.

I fumble while inserting the key into the lock, and just as I get the door unlocked, I feel a heavy weight crashing into me and pushing me forward through the door. I hit the floor hard, knocking the breath out of me.

Clark grabs a fistful of my hair and jerks my head back, pressing the blade hard against my neck.

“You’ll die, bitch! If I can’t have you, he never will!” he seethes.

I hear a couple of pops and then the clattering of the knife to the floor. I hold my breath, expecting to die, but nothing happens for a second. Then I hear running feet.

“Nova!”

“Kai?” I whimper.

“It’s okay, baby. He’s dead.”

“Get him off me! Get him off me!” I scream.

I’m lying on my belly with my eyes still closed and feel the moment that the weight is dragged off me. Kai lifts me into his arms, and I wrap mine around his neck, burying my face in the side of his neck as I release a torrent of tears.

“It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you now,” he mutters repeatedly.

Kai presses kisses to the top of my head and all over my face. He squeezes me tightly to him as he carries me out of my office.

I can’t even bother to look down at Clark’s body on the floor, but as we move towards the front of the store, I see someone standing there. It’s Raider, Kai’s VP.

“Get her home. I’ll get a crew in here, and I’ll handle the rest,” Raider grunts.

“Thanks,” Kai mutters.

He doesn’t let me down until we reach my car, and he sits me inside the passenger seat and stares at me.

“Is he dead?”

“Yes, baby. He’s dead.”

“I never expected...” I shake my head, shuddering at the thought of how often I’d been alone with Clark in the evenings.

“Shhh...just sit back and breathe. Let me take care of you,” he says, strapping me in.

When he sits in the driver’s seat, I look at him through my blurry, teary-eyed gaze. “What about your bike?”

“My only concern right now is you.”

***

I was scared for Kai to leave me tonight, so he hasn’t. He got a call about an hour after we arrived asking him to come to the clubhouse, but he told whoever was on the phone that he didn’t want to leave me.

Not even fifteen minutes later, someone knocked at the cottage door. Kai had been lying in bed in his underwear, holding me while I cried. He got up and put his jeans on, but no shoes or shirt. He grabbed his cigarette pack and headed into the living room.

Normally, I might get on him about smoking inside, but I didn’t have it in me to care tonight. After the fear and the shock subsided, I simply became numb. Existing in a space where nothing could reach me was what I knew how to do best.

Kai hates it when I go to that place. I know he worries that I’ll become suicidal again, but I won’t. Life promises us no guarantees, so all we can do is fight to make each day better than the last. That’s what I do now: fight to make each day better than before. I’m stronger and better than ever because I’m back with the man who loves me.

I know it will take time to get over this episode, but I know that I’ll be okay. I know that I’ll come out on top.

I lay in bed listening for a while, and all I hear is hushed whispers. Kai’s is the only voice that I recognize. It isn’t until the person is leaving that I recognize Whiz’s voice saying, “Tell her I hope she feels better soon. Shit, man, I don’t know what to say in situations like this. What happened to her was fucked up.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I know Anarchy gave you shit about protecting her, but...glad you stood your ground, man. I know this went further than any of us wanted, but in the end, both of those bastards got what they deserved.”

“I just don’t think she’d have had to put up with as much as she did had Anarchy not been such an ass about this.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Nah. If he’d kept her here in the first place, hadn’t sent her back to the store...”

“They might still be walking around, End Game. He has to make the tough calls. It’s why he’s the Prez.”

“You’re right.”

“Hey, get some rest. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

“Thanks for stopping by and giving me that information, man.”

“Any time.”

The door closes, and there’s silence for a while. I don’t hear anything, and I know Kai is in the other room smoking and dealing with his feelings about this. I had no idea that he’d caught hell from Anarchy about me.

My eyes tear up because it seems as if every time I turn around, I’m taking him through hell, and I don’t want to be that for him. I want to be his refuge the same way he’s mine.

The door finally opens, and I only see his silhouette in the dark. He’s leaning against the doorframe, staring at me.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“You crying?”

I sit up and wipe my eyes. “No.”

He chuckles, pushes off the door frame and saunters towards the bed.

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m fine, really. Just thinking that I don’t want to be the reason you catch so much grief.”

Leaning onto the bed, he says, “You’re not.”

Something scampers across the floor, and then a ball of fur pounces on the bed.

“Don’t think so, Raider. Not tonight,” Kai says, picking the kitten up and walking it back out of the room. He sets the kitten in the front room and races back to the bedroom.

He slams the door just before Raider returns.

“Damn, cat’s fast.”

I giggle. “He is.”

“Thought he was used to sleeping in a different room.”

“He is. He’s still new to this place, though.”

The bed sags when Kai climbs onto it with me.

“C’mere,” he beckons.

I scoot closer to him in the bed, and he pulls the hem of my t-shirt up and rubs his palm over my belly. It feels so still and quiet all around us, and that’s hardly ever true of the compound. I don’t feel the vibrations of the music that pulses from the clubhouse.

The only thing that I feel is Kai’s warm breath caressing my face as he sucks my lips and the pounding of his heart underneath my hand as I run my hand over his chest. He nudges my legs aside and positions himself between them.

Breaking our kiss, his pale blue eyes stare into mine as he tugs at my bikini panties and pulls them down over my hips, past the curve of my ass and then off my legs.

Kneeling between my thighs, he hooks both legs over his shoulders and parts my sex. His warm breath is a gentle kiss against me, and it’s his nose that I feel first as he inhales my scent and purrs in contentment like a satisfied lion.

My back arches at the feel of his lips on me, his tongue slaking his hunger and stirring up my desire. His lips tug and then suck my pussy. The sound of the sheet ripping from the corner of the mattress fills the room as I grab it in my hand, pulling with all my might as I try to remain calm, struggle to maintain my composure, but slowly lose myself to the delirium that stalks me.

He slurps and sucks and then looks up at me.

“This pussy’s so goddamned good. If this was all I ever ate the rest of my life, I swear it would keep me strong.”

“Let me see those muscles,” I sigh, arching my hips and pumping myself to his lips.

He slides a finger inside me, stroking and sucking at me. Just before I cum he pulls away and slides inside of me.

Biting his bottom lip, he narrows his eyes and says, “This pussy’s so damn good!”

He lowers his chest to mine, our hearts beating in sync as they did when we were kids. His lips are warm against my neck, his breath a welcome breeze, and his tongue slicking a hot trail along my collarbone.

“I will never leave you alone again, Nova. I promise to never fail you.”

Turning his head to face me, I press my lips against his. “I know.”

Our bodies move in tandem with each other, and we take our time enjoying our connection. Kai is attentive to my body and my emotions as though he’s trying to expel my demons. And when it doesn’t seem they will surrender, his movements become unrelenting, not giving up or giving in until my entire being is focused on this connection we share.

My legs are hooked over his arms, and he swivels inside and slowly gyrates until he can take no more. Increasing his rate, I feel his dick growing heavier and longer inside of me as he pummels my insides.

“Kai!” I scream as he picks up more speed and thumps inside of me like a jackhammer on concrete.

“Say it’s mine, Nova,” he grunts.

“It’s yours, Kai!”

“Say it’s mine, Nova!”

“It’s yours, Kai!” I repeat.

He shakes his head, and I understand what he wants to hear.

“This pussy is all yours, Kai!” I scream as he roars.

He’s exercising restraint, not trying to cum. I know that it’s only a matter of time, though. When I finally give in and fall over the edge, he permits himself to do the same.

We roll over onto our sides, still connected.

Everything finally hits me, and I’m full of pain, and tears flow like a waterfall. Kai sits up on the bed and pulls me onto his lap, holding me. He doesn’t shush me; he just rests his chin on my forehead and lets me cry.

His warm right-hand rubs circles on my back while his left one caresses my thigh. When I stop crying, we remain quiet for what seems like an eternity. Maybe half an hour passes before we slump down into bed.

I stare out the window at the moon in the sky overhead. It’s the only thing that I can see on this black eerie night. Neither of us is sleeping, and I don’t know if we can. We’re both exhausted, physically and mentally.

After another long beat of silence, I speak.

“I never fit in,” I say as we lay in bed holding each other.

“What do you mean?” he asks, kissing the top of my head.

“Will’s world. My ex-husband and I loved each other, I guess, but I never became the trophy wife that he was seeking. I lived in a world where women were pampered and showcased. That was never me. I always felt fake.”

“Didn’t want to be a Barbie princess?” he teases.

“Don’t get me wrong. I love a mani-pedi as well as the next girl. And shopping? Well, let’s just say that I have to keep myself to a strict budget. But the golf clubs, the charity events, sitting on the boards of one cause or another, the balls and all of that was too much for me. Everyone was fake, and you could trust no one. The man cheated with a nurse who used to smile in my face daily for crying out loud. The same nurse who would make arrangements for Will’s and my trips out of town and anniversary dates.”

“You wanted something different than what you’d seen the last years of your teenage life.”

“I did. Just wanted to belong somewhere and fit in, you know?”

He smooths my hair back from my face. “You know I do,” he says before he kisses my forehead. “The MC...they’re my family. This is where I fit in. No judgment or recriminations for who I am. I know they’ve got my back whenever I need them.”

“Guess I’m just amazed that they came through the way that they did for me...with Clark and all.”

“It’s who we are, Nova. The Fiery Disciples may not be in the upper echelon of society. Some might even say we come from the dregs of society, but we’re a family, and we take care of our own.”

“That’s good to know.”

He sighs.

“What?”

“I know it’s been years since we’ve been a couple. And I know people change a lot, especially through two marriages and adulthood, but I still feel like we’re the same, Nova.”

“We are different, Kai, but our hearts are the same. Our experiences have changed and altered our personalities some, but our hearts won’t ever change.”

“So, it’s not weird that I don’t want to go back to life without you?”

“Only if it’s weird that I feel the same. From the moment that I recognized you in my store, it was like time stopped, but my heart started beating again. I was just so damn scared if that makes sense.”

“Glad to know there was a valid reason that you kicked my ass out of your life.”

“I didn’t kick you out. I just said that I needed space.”

“Yeah, well, no more space coming between us. You got it?” he asks.

“I got it.”

“From here on out, it’s you and me, with the MC having our backs. If you ever get scared, lonely, depressed, or just fucking pissed at the world, you tell me that shit cuz I wanna hear it. Got me?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“We hold nothing back from each other.”

“Okay.”

He pulls me close and kisses my cheeks, and after some time, I finally find peace, and I sleep.