Chapter 28

I'm ready by the time Dave comes by with his truck at two o'clock. I've already said my goodbyes to Mom and Dad, but Dad comes out and helps Dave load the truck. They shake hands afterward.

"What was that about?" I ask when Dave gets in beside me.

"What? Shaking your dad's hand?"

"Yeah."

"It's kind of what guys do, Maddie."

"I know that." I twirl my hair around my finger. "I just mean it seemed kind of strange."

He shrugs. "I'm not sure what's strange about it."

He's quiet then.

"How did your meeting go?" I finally ask.

"It was eye-opening. Seems Pat Lamone is not only my cousin, he's also Aunt Ruby's half brother."

"What?"

He takes a deep breath in and holds it for a few seconds before letting it out. "I don't know how much you know about my family. A lot of it is public at this point. The stuff about the liens on the property, the fact that Wendy Madigan controlled them. But there's so much more to our family, Maddie."

"I'm sure my siblings all know."

He shakes his head. "I'm not sure Jesse does. He and Brianna haven't been together long enough for her to tell him the whole story. But Callie and Rory probably do." He presses his lips together. "It's not pretty, Maddie. Please don't make me talk about it now."

I nod. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions with him. On the one hand, I want to respect his wishes. Let him keep it inside. But on the other hand, I want him to talk to me. Lean on me.

We don't talk much more during the half hour that it takes to get to Grand Junction. We drive past the sorority house where I was supposed to be living. I lived there the first semester, but since I said I wasn't coming back, they gave away my room. So I'll be living in the dorms, but I'll still be a member of the sorority and be able to take part in their events.

I clear my throat. "Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"Next month is the Valentine's Day dance at the sorority. I was wondering if you might be my date."

He nods slowly. "Sure, Maddie. If we're still doing this by then."

My heart sinks again.

Didn't he tell me only days ago that he could fall in love with me?

"What do you mean if we're still doing this?" I ask.

Then he stops. Right in the middle of the road on the way to the dorm.

He turns and looks at me.

Is he waiting for me to speak?

Finally, he says, "I don't know what to think anymore."

I jerk backward, my heart nearly stopping. "What the hell are you talking about, Dave?"

He rubs his forehead. "It's ridiculous, really. I'm trying to deny what I know I'm feeling for you. I don't want to be the Steel that falls in love quickly. But, damn it, Maddie. You're all I think about. I'm tearing my hair out over this."

I sigh in relief. "I don't think that has to be a bad thing."

He runs his hand through his hair. "It's all so fucked up. Everything with my family, and I just wanted a goddamned vacation."

I grab his hand. "And you did have one. It wasn't very long, but you got to take in some good sights." I take the necklace out from under the sweater I'm wearing. "And you got me this beautiful souvenir, something I'll cherish forever."

"And it led me to you," he says.

I feel blood rushing to my cheeks. "That too. We've had a good time since we got back, your uncle's news notwithstanding. And who knows? Maybe we can go back to Europe again sometime soon. Make a real trip out of it."

"Maybe on a honeymoon?" he asks.

My jaw drops.

"God, I can't believe I blurted that out."

I rub at my temples, tamping down the joy his words ignite in me. "Dave, I'm getting some really mixed signals here. First you tell me we may not still be together on Valentine's Day, and now you're?—"

He grabs me and crushes our mouths together.

We can't get too close because we're both wearing our seatbelts, but his kiss is ferocious, all lips, teeth, and gums. And I love it. I love every minute of it.

But finally I pull back.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"No, don't be sorry. It's just my seatbelt was digging into me."

He smiles. "It's stupid, Maddie. We hardly know each other."

I stop myself from rolling my eyes. "You didn't say you love me, Dave. You just intimated that we might have a honeymoon. You didn't even say we would be together."

"I know. I'm not sure how it even came out of my mouth." He blinks for a few seconds, staring at the open road through our windshield. "But… I can't deny it, Maddie. I love you. You're all I've thought about since that first night in Glasgow."

Oh my God. He said it.

It was buried under a lot of word salad, but he said it.

How do I respond?

"I think I was rejecting the whole idea. Thinking that I would be the one Rake-a-teer who would always be a womanizer. Who never wanted to settle down. Hell, I'm only twenty-four."

I swallow. He just keeps talking. Doesn't give me a chance to say it back to him.

Do I want to say it back to him?

Maybe I misheard him. What did he just say?

Something about only being twenty-four.

"So is Brock," I say.

"Don't I know it. He's going to have a field day with this."

He slowly turns his head to face me, his eyebrows raised.

"What?" I ask.

"You didn't say it back, Maddie. How exactly do you feel about me?"

I think I want to say it back. Actually, the more I think about it, the more sure I am that I want to. Truly I do.

But something stops me.

I don't want to throw myself at Dave just because all my siblings fell for Steels, and now I have the chance to have one myself. I want to make sure that my feelings are real, and I won't know that until we've been apart for a little while.

"I like you a lot, Dave," I say, "and yeah, I could easily fall in love with you."

He stares at the steering wheel. "But you don't love me."

I place a hand on his arm. "I didn't say that. I've never been in love before. I feel the same way you do about it. I'm not exactly sure who I am yet or what I want to do with my life. I want to make sure I don't get caught up in the romanticism of it all. Caught up in the envy I have for my siblings because they all snagged Steels."

"Yeah, but none of your siblings snagged me." He waggles his eyebrows.

Indeed, David Simpson is the best-looking Steel if you're looking for classically handsome.

And I am.

I lean in and kiss his cheek. "Let's just get me to school. Then you'll kiss me goodbye, and we'll see each other next weekend. We have a date. I think I may be ready to say it then."

"You say it whenever you're ready, Maddie. I won't rush you."

He starts the truck then, and we drive to my dorm room. Luckily, the vacant single is on the first floor, so we don't have to drag things upstairs or into an elevator.

The room is sparse and very small, but it has all the necessities. A bed, a dresser, a closet, and a desk. The walls of course are white cement blocks, and I don't have my own bathroom. I'll have to use the one down the hallway. But at least the floors aren't coed in this building, so I won't have to worry about running into a guy in a towel.

I voice this to Dave, and he says, "Damn right you won't. If you had guys on your floor, I'd have something to say about that."

I shake my head, but I can't help a small smile. I am both slightly annoyed and slightly touched by his sentiment.

He helps me get moved in and stays while I put the linens on my bed and get my clothes in the closet and in the dresser.

"I have to go to the bookstore," I say. "I start classes tomorrow, and I have to pick up my books."

"Why didn't you just order them online?"

"Because I decided to do this like three days ago. I'll pick them up at the bookstore. You want to come along?"

He kisses my lips slightly. "I think I'm going to let you get settled in. I'll go home. I'm needed there. Dad and I have a lot to do right now. But I'll see you Saturday. I'll text you with the details." He kisses me once again and then trails his finger over my cheek. "I do love you, Maddie Pike."

Then, without waiting for me to reply, he turns and leaves.

My alarm goes off at six thirty the next morning.

The numbnuts that I am, I signed up for an eight o'clock class. I have only one more general requirement that I need to get my degree, and this was the only time that I could get my science requirement and still fit in all the other classes I wanted.

So I'm off to biology, something I'm not even remotely interested in, at eight o'clock in the freaking morning.

After biology, I have poetry and then Spanish.

That's all for today.

Tomorrow, I have another English course—creative writing—and then watercolor.

I already have my fine arts requirements on my transcript, but I've always wanted to try watercolor.

I don't expect to be any good at it, but who cares? It's time to try new things and figure out what I was put on this earth to do.

I am only twenty-two, so if I don't know what to do with my life, it's not the worst thing in the world. Just because my siblings all knew doesn't mean I have to know. Rory didn't even get it right the first time.

Biology class is finally done, but then I have to go to a lab before poetry class to make up what I missed the first few weeks of classes.

I walk in, and the only other student in the lab is a tall man with brown hair and light-green eyes. He looks up at me and smiles. "You must be Madeline Pike."

"Guilty," I say. "Call me Maddie. And you are?"

"I'm Dr. Carmen's lab assistant, Grayson George." He holds out his hand. "I'm here to get you up to speed."

"That's kind of you, but you don't have to. I'm perfectly capable of doing the work on my own."

"Dr. Carmen asked me to do it"—he eyes me up and down—"I'm pretty glad she did."

My cheeks warm. And I find myself…

Feeling…good. I'm pretty sure I love Dave, but it's nice to have some male attention. Grayson must be a senior like I am, but I've never seen him before. Of course, I don't hang around with the science geeks much.

"Am I the only one who saved her science requirement for the last semester?" I ask.

He chuckles. "You'd be amazed how often it happens. Some people seem to be afraid of the sciences, but they're nothing to fear. I find them incredibly interesting."

"You'd get along well with my friend," I say. "She's going to med school."

"Who's your friend?"

"Angie Simpson."

"Oh yeah, I know Angie. She's Sage's sister. One of the"—air quotes—"Steels."

I have to laugh. "Yeah, I live on the ranch adjacent to them. Of course, it's tiny compared to theirs."

"Since they own almost the entire state of Colorado, I would imagine yours is tiny." He laughs. "Let me show you what we need to do."

We go through the labs quickly, and his hands brush against mine more often than they should.

When we're finally done, I've missed my poetry class.

I double-check the time on my phone. "Oh my God, I didn't even realize the time."

"See? Science is fun."

"I missed my poetry class, and I've already missed a couple of weeks."

He smiles timidly, a small patch of pink on his cheeks. "Must be the company."

I return his smile. "I will say that you made biology not so bad."

He raises an eyebrow. "Just not so bad?"

"That's about all I can muster up," I say. "Since I missed poetry, I'm going to head to lunch."

"Would you like some company?"

"I was just going to the cafeteria. I have a meal plan with my scholarship."

"So do I. I take all three meals there. It's not gourmet, but it's paid for." He winks at me. "Come."