Chapter 21

I take Gary and head over to Mom and Dad's house in the morning. I want to check on everyone, and I meet them for breakfast.

Dad looks a little better this morning, though he's still not himself by a longshot.

Angie and Sage are still sniffling, but Henry is good. Mom is good.

This is Mom's big brother, and she's taking it better than Dad is.

I can't believe I never saw how strong my mother is, but as I look back, I see it was always there—that gentle strength, so different from Dad's. Mom is the only daughter of Bradford and Daphne Steel, full sibling to Uncle Joe and Uncle Talon.

We know so little about our grandmother, Daphne Steel, but we do know she went through a lot in her life and spent most of her adult life in a world of her own making to escape the pain of her past.

But there's no doubt in my mind that she loved her children, even Uncle Ryan, who biologically wasn't hers. She never knew about Lauren, who grew up with her birth mother, Wendy Madigan.

I'm supposed to have lunch today with Maddie, but I'm not sure I'm up to it. I feel like getting outside today, and for the first time since I was a kid, I wish I worked with Uncle Joe and Brock on the ranch. I could use a day of hard physical labor.

There's no reason why I can't, though, is there?

I don't want to bother Uncle Joe, given what he's going through.

But I know Brianna and Uncle Talon can use some help in the orchard, and working with trees seems more my speed than working with animals whose fate is to end up on someone's dinner plate.

After breakfast, I take Gary and head back to the guesthouse where I change into work clothes.

I text Brianna quickly.

Hey, Bree. You and Uncle T need some help in the orchards today? I feel like I need an outside day.

The three dots move almost instantaneously.

Dad's not working, but yeah, come hang with me. I'm in the orchards today, so great timing.

Brianna's dressed in flannel and jeans, her long brown hair pulled back in a braid that hangs nearly to her ass, and she has working cowboy boots on her feet. She's in the orchards, supervising no fewer than fifty ranch hands who are pruning the fruit trees.

"Hey, Dave," she says as I approach. "I'm filling in for one of the foremen today who caught some kind of crud. Feel like pruning?"

"Isn't it early for that?"

"Then I've really fucked up, haven't I?" She laughs. "Early February is a perfect time for pruning in Colorado. As long as the weather is cooperating, of course. Right now, it's easy to see the dead or diseased branches and get rid of them. Then we can shape them correctly to improve air circulation, sunlight penetration, and tree health, which will lead to better fruit production."

I can't help widening my eyes. Here's my cousin, one of the flirty awesome foursome, but damn, she knows her stuff.

She points to a pile of tools. "Grab some pruning shears if you want to try it. But you'll have to put on some gear."

"Are you going to prune?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "Not today. I'm going to do some soil testing. Check for nutrient deficiencies. Then I'm going to start mulching."

"What's that?"

"We apply a layer of organic mulch around the base of the trees to help conserve soil moisture, regulate soil temperature, and suppress weed growth. Mulching also adds organic matter to the soil as it breaks down."

"Need help with that?" I ask.

"Always." She tosses me some leather work gloves. "For later. We'll do the soil testing first."

And we get to it. And with every chore I help Brianna with, the weight of the world seems to pull me down a little less.

Something about manual labor…

Brianna feels it too. I can see it in her face.

She doesn't mention Jesse, and I don't mention Maddie. We don't mention anyone, especially not Uncle Joe or Pat Lamone or anything else related to our family.

Clearly, we don't want to talk. We want to work.

When the sun begins to set in the west, I glance at my watch.

It's nearing five o'clock, and damn…

I was supposed to have lunch with Maddie.

I pull my phone out of my pocket.

There's one text from her.

Only one.

Are we still having lunch today?

It came at about eleven thirty this morning.

And I didn't bother responding. Not on purpose, of course, but I needed to give my mind a rest. I needed to work my body today. I haven't even looked at my phone, and with the sounds around me, I didn't hear it ding.

"Hell," I say.

"What?" Brianna asks.

"I have a text from Maddie. She and I were supposed to have lunch today, and I totally spaced it."

Brianna frowns at me. "Dave, please don't lead her on if you don't intend to pursue a relationship with her."

I look up from my phone, scowling. "Jesus, Bree. How is this any of your business?"

"It's my business because Maddie is my friend and Jesse is her brother. I can't bear to see her get hurt."

"It's not my intention to hurt her or anyone."

Brianna cocks her head, narrowing her eyes at me. "Could you be honest with me about one thing?"

I shrug. "Sure. I guess."

She crosses her arms. "What the hell do you mean you guess? You can or can't. Yes or no, Dave."

"Fine." I sigh. "I'll be honest."

I know what she's going to ask.

"Do you have any feelings for Maddie? Feelings that could evolve?"

I close my eyes, run my hands through my sweaty hair. "This isn't something guys talk about."

She scoffs. "Do I look like I give a damn? She's my friend. And because of our stupid family business, she lost out on her trip to Europe."

"Uncle Joe's disease is not stupid family business."

"I know that, and you know that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Pat Lamone and all this other crap. Wendy Madigan. Doc Sheraton and Brittany. All of it." She shakes her head. "Do you know how hard it was for me to leave Jesse?"

"The family said you didn't have to come home, Bree."

"And you know how much that pisses me off? Acting like Brianna's just the youngest of the bunch so we don't really need her? I hated it." She pounds a fist to her chest. "This is my family too, and I'm just as much a member as any of the rest of you. So yeah, if you and Brock were needed here, then so was I. That doesn't change the fact that I hated leaving Jesse. But I'm here. You're here. And so is Maddie. And I want to know. Do you feel something for her?"

"I don't know."

But the words are a lie, and my cousin wastes no time on calling me on it.

"That's bull," she says.

"Fine. It's bull." I take a deep breath and let it out. "Yes, I'm having feelings. I've always liked her and have been attracted to her. I wouldn't have… You know… If I didn't." I shake my head. "You know how weird it is to be talking to my female cousin about this?"

She rolls her eyes. "Get over it. We're having this talk whether it's comfortable for you or not."

At this point, I'm too exhausted to fight with her.

Brianna and Uncle Tal do their share of work inside to run the orchard business, but they're also used to working the land. Used to the outdoors. Me? This isn't what I normally do. Sure, I'm in good shape. I keep my muscles up at my home gym, run a few miles every day, but I'm not used to eight hours of hard manual labor.

"Yes," I finally say. "I'm feeling something. After that near brush with death on the plane, I realized that I didn't want to lose her."

She walks up to me and pokes me sharply in my ribs. "Then don't fuck this up, Dave. Maddie's been through a lot. Did you know she's decided to go back to college?"

"Yes." The thought of her not being here sends waves of sadness through me. Of course, she'll only be in Grand Junction. That's not much farther than the trip between our houses. "If she wants to go back to school, of course I support her. This way she'll be able to finish up her last semester."

"Yeah, I think it's a good thing. Angie, Sage, and Gina are home right now, but they'll be going back to school too. Not tomorrow with Maddie, but probably later in the week. Maybe next week."

"Our family business screwed everything up," I say. "But even if it didn't, we'd all be home to support Uncle Joe."

Brianna nods. "I hate that this is happening to him. He's so strong."

"I know." I lean in and lower my voice. "I watched my father cry over him. I don't think I've ever seen my father cry."

"They're very close," Brianna agrees. "And I'm sure there are things we don't even know."

"God, can there be anything else we don't know?"

She bites her lip. "I'm afraid there might be. Things seem to crawl out of the woodwork in our family. But all we can do right now is hope and pray that Uncle Joe can get through this."

"One percent chance, Bree."

She sighs. "I know. But at least it's a chance."

I nod and grab my phone, ready to call Maddie.