17. Florence

Chapter seventeen

Florence

The next morning when I arrive in the kitchen, I find a similar layout to yesterday waiting for me on the counter. There's a fresh pastry on a plate and the delicate cornflower teapot is sitting on its magical warmer. But next to it is something new.

A sweater.

A soft, wooly, ivory men's sweater that I instantly hug to my body then slip on over the sundress I'm wearing. The fit is long and loose on me, and I fold the sleeves over my wrists, feeling more from Adelbert in this moment than he's ever said to me. A contented feeling spreads from the center of my chest and travels to the tips of my fingers and toes, warming me up from the inside out on another cool morning.

Adelbert really is the noble male I thought he was, staying true to his word to get me something warm and taking care of my needs in his own way. He may not be very expressive, and given what he's explained to me about how emotionally closed-off elves are, it makes sense, but his chivalry runs deep.

I finish my tea and breakfast and move to the living room where Sir Purrington is already stretched out in front of the window, basking in a thin ray of sunshine penetrating through the morning cloud cover.

"Good morning, Sir P. You were the bestest cuddler last night. Thank you for keeping me company," I say to the relaxed cat as I crouch down next to him to smooth down some of his orange fur. True to his name, he starts up a satisfied purr at my touch and something settles in my heart.

I grab my embroidery supplies and hum my favorite song as I curl up on the couch to continue working on the valley piece. I have so many scenes of the Black Forest that I want to thread paint that I think this will turn into a series dedicated to my time here.

The morning passes quickly and quietly as my attention stays riveted on the scene unfolding on my hoop. The colors layer over each other and the depth of the scene pulls me right in, making me feel like I'm outside. I'm brought back to the present a time or two when I adjust my position and catch traces of what must be Adelbert's aftershave on his sweater. I may even lift the collar to my nose and burrow into the sweater, but I'd never admit it to anyone.

Last night we had a video call with everyone from the island, plus the new members that have been bonded, to give them the news that Adelbert shared with me yesterday morning. Adelbert laid out all the information very succinctly and gave the opportunity for others—who were willing—to share their experiences so far. He didn't press anyone to disclose personal information that they weren't ready to tell.

Dede and Everett shared that they have accepted their bond and she has decided to stay in Las Vegas with Everett and move in together. I'm so happy for my sister. Every time we talk on the phone, or even just when we message, I can tell how much she likes him and how happy he makes her. The male is practically obsessed with her and it's exactly what she deserves.

I have a feeling they're going to be relationship goals for everyone.

It took all day yesterday to process everything related to fated bonds and mate bonds. Then, with the extra information that was added during the video call, I almost spiraled when I thought about how drastically my life is changing and that I'm stuck in the Black Forest until the bond dissolves.

When I got in bed, Adelbert's face flashed in front of my mind and the tightness in my chest loosened a fraction when I realized all of this is clearly out of our control and I'll be safe with him.

The idea of a mate bond, though, of the fates intervening to match you up with the one person they have chosen for you, that they think you are compatible with, is the most romantic thing I've heard of. But since there is no chance of anything happening between Adelbert and myself—despite my glaringly obvious attraction to him—I made the conscious decision to treat it as an extended vacation in a lovely rental home with a reclusive roommate.

Knowing Adelbert hardly ate or slept while searching for answers to the bonds, and he still has his big presentation coming up, I want to do my best to help him any way I can.

The only ways I can think of to help him are to stay out of his way and not let my emotions get close to him while he's concentrating, and also to perhaps prepare some lunch for him when he gets caught up in his study.

With that thought in mind, I get up from the couch, take my sweater off now that the weather has warmed up, and head to the kitchen.

I'm not a great cook, but I can throw together a mean sandwich or salad, maybe even a basic pasta on a good day. Today is a sandwich day.

I'm a little excited about being the one doing the cooking for a change, and my humming soon turns to singing and dancing as I prepare the food.

There's just something about this kitchen that feels warm and welcoming. The solid wood counters and the exposed beams on the ceiling give it an inviting charm that's not present in the rest of the house. It's not that the house is unwelcoming, but there is an emptiness and a coldness to it that's remarkably absent in the kitchen.

When I'm satisfied that what I've put together is edible, I grab a pen and piece of paper to add a note. I mentally debate between options of what I should write, then finally settle on something that might cause an amused lip twitch.

What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?

What's up, B?

(wasabi, get it?)

I tiptoe toward Adelbert's study. I don't want to linger outside his door because I know my presence might disturb him, but as I put his plate on the console table across from the door to the study, I can't seem to move my feet.

There are some strange mutterings and then an object crashes to the floor. I let out a yelp of surprise and the door flies open a second later, causing me to stumble into the console table behind me.

"What's wrong?" Adelbert stands in the doorway and his gaze flicks up and down my body. His hands ball into fists and the veins on his forearms stand out sharply against his pale skin.

Try not to salivate, Florence.

"I'm sorry." I clutch a hand to my chest, my heart fluttering like a hummingbird's wings.

"What happened?" he barks, looking at my hand, then searching my face.

"Nothing's wrong. I just brought you some lunch. I thought you might have forgotten to eat," I explain and angle my body so he can see the plate behind me.

Adelbert's scowl softens and he rocks back on his heels.

"Oh. Thank you." He glances at the intricately carved cuckoo clock in the hallway, the movement granting me a glimpse into his study.

Unlike the rest of the house, it's a very masculine room with a desk made of a thick slab of wood in front of a large window overlooking my favorite spot in the garden. Against one wall, the live edges of natural floating shelves add a rustic feel to the otherwise traditional furnishings. I can just make out an antique globe lying on a rug in the center of the room. That must have been what I heard fall.

"Is it lunch time already?" Adelbert asks me.

"Yes," I say slowly and start to cautiously move backward little by little away from him. "I'll leave you to it."

"Fuck," Adelbert lets out on a heavy exhale and runs a hand through his hair.

Before he can say anything more, I turn around and speed walk back toward the kitchen.

As I walk away, something occurs to me. The door flew open but Adelbert's hands were nowhere near the handle.

I must have missed something when I stumbled back.

Adelbert prepares dinner for us again later that night and we talk about anything except what happened over lunchtime.

The pattern seems to repeat itself every day.

On rainy days, I sit inside on the same couch in the living room, and on sunny days I move to the garden. I make light lunches, leaving a plate—and a joke—for Adelbert on the console table in front of the closed door to his study, and enjoy mine in the kitchen with Sir Purrington as my constant companion.

Every evening, Adelbert and I return to the kitchen around the same time, an unspoken agreement between us to enjoy one meal together. I sit at the table, head propped on the palm of my hand as I stare at him while he cooks something different each night.

Adelbert is a talented cook and makes a variety of dishes, most German, but some are inspired by friends from other countries. On one of the cooler nights he even makes us doenjang-jjigae , a Korean soybean paste stew that Daehan taught him how to make. It's so good and the meal warms me right up, sparking a new-found desire to travel to Korea and taste more of their food.

Not being a great cook myself, I kind of wish Adelbert would teach me. But, I respect his boundaries and always remain seated at the table and far away from the possibility of having any physical contact with him.

While Adelbert cooks, Sir Purrington usually cuddles up in my lap right until Adelbert sits down with me. Sir Purrington then has his dinner and disappears to a warm corner in the house, and Adelbert and I end up talking, sometimes even for hours, while we enjoy dinner and wine.

Slowly, we get to know each other over these nightly chats. Even though I always seem to crave a little bit more from him, I'm happy with the easy rapport between us. I only indulge my attraction to Adelbert when my door is firmly closed behind me and I can muffle my screams as I come around my own fingers, pretending they're his.

Adelbert thaws around me and his formalities wane with each day that ticks by. He tells me more about his grandmother. Despite being in love with an orc, she was forced to break up with him when her parents presented her with her chosen elf partner. Just like everyone in his lineage for hundreds of years, she had to agree to an arranged marriage, or face shaming her whole family. She moved off campus and into this house the moment she was able to, days after his grandfather died and his father took over as head of Alberad.

I can't help but think that this is also a major factor in Adelbert's reason not to entertain thoughts of anything more happening between us. I'm sure his father has already got prospective mates lined up for Adelbert to marry the moment he deems Adelbert worthy, but we never speak about it.

My wish for Adelbert is that he can have some kind of say in who is chosen for him. I hope it's someone who will love him the way he deserves to be loved, because the male I've gotten to know is so much more than the Alberad name.

Adelbert also tells me of his upbringing, his mother—who is the head of another school, more elite than Alberad and whom he hasn't seen since he was young—and many stories of his friends and the shenanigans they used to get up to and how he'd ultimately bail them out of trouble.

Adelbert asks about my embroidery, my mother, and her husband. We touch on the death of my father many years ago, and I talk at length about Dede and my love for her.

Tonight, a few weeks after my arrival, the conversation turns more serious.

"So, you're going to be the head of Alberad eventually, right? Is that something you've always wanted?" I ask Adelbert, now feeling slightly emboldened to ask more personal questions after we've both revealed little truths about ourselves over our meals in the kitchen.

Adelbert traces a deep groove in the grain that runs along the thick wood of the table. The oak table top is made from one piece of solid wood and has cracks and knots visible that give it that natural and homey feel—a little bit of the forest from outside brought into the home.

Adelbert doesn't look up at me as he answers.

"Choice is not a familiar concept in my life." His throat bobs on a swallow and I sit completely still, giving him the time to find his words.

Sir Purrington trots into the kitchen at that exact moment and jumps onto my lap. He curls into a ball and purrs deeply as I start petting him.

Adelbert takes a deep breath before he continues talking, his gaze on his hand as he draws a circle around one of the knots in front of him.

"I live a life of privilege. I can acknowledge that. I have my own house, have no concerns about money, and I have a promising future ahead at Alberad. However, I have never been given a choice in my life. Not in my family. Not where I live. Not in my career. And now… not even in my mate."

Adelbert looks up at me, his lips pressed into a thin line and an apology in his eyes. Something squeezes in my chest and an uncomfortable lump forms in my throat.

With a tone that is flat but earnest, Adelbert says, "You have the ability to make choices for your future. To live whatever kind of life you want to. Wherever you want to. You only have to wait for the bond to break. You can walk away from me with only a memory of the time spent in this house. But I will remain here. In the same house. With the future that was planned for me before I was even conceived."

Imploring me to understand, Adelbert's brows draw together and his shoulders slump.

"That's why I want to give you a choice. I do not wish for you to be limited to this life. To this place. To me."

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

I give Adelbert a small smile and try to tamp down any of the hurt I feel. My heart mostly hurts for him , at living a life that is so burdened by his sense of duty. His choices have been taken away from him, and being given a fated mate, is just one more thing he'll never get to choose for himself.

He deserves to find his own love, in his own time.

Maybe in another life things could be different for us. But not this life. Not now.

I wonder if anyone has ever put Adelbert first. Made him a priority. Just taken care of him without expecting anything in return.

I'd like to do that for him. As his friend.

My eyes take in his sharp jaw, the breadth of his shoulders, his long elegant fingers, and I silently bid farewell to any traces of romantic notions I might have had.

My mouth opens and closes as I try to find the right words before finally settling on what makes the most sense.

"I understand. The moment the bond breaks, I'll be out of your hair."

Adelbert nods in acceptance and we only last a couple of minutes in the stilted silence before calling it a night and disappearing to our separate wings.

I enter my room and lock the door behind me, thankful for the first time that Sir Purrington didn't follow me. I promise myself that this is the last time I'll get myself off to thoughts of Adelbert. I need to let him go.

But tonight, I'll make it count.

Grabbing the collar of Adelbert's sweater, I bring it to my nose and unashamedly breathe in the light scent of him that still clings to it. This is the closest I will ever get to him.

I tear the sweater off my body and flop onto the bed. My dress follows next and I chuck it onto the floor, then quickly slip my underwear off too. I wriggle until I find a comfortable spot and spread my legs as wide as they can go, pretending Adelbert is watching me offer my pussy to him.

I drag the sweater across my body, letting the soft wool caress my skin, as one hand slips between my legs. My breasts grow heavy and my nipples harden to points as I imagine Adelbert's hands gliding across my body—stroking, kneading, fondling.

I grab one breast and tug on the nipple, a whimper falling across my lips. I bite down on the sleeve of the sweater in the hopes that it'll keep any sounds from leaking out of the room, just as I drag one finger through my drenched core.

Fuck, I wish I asked for that vibrator now.

I add a second finger and slowly circle my clit, then pump them in and out of my slick pussy. I repeat the action until I'm squirming on the bed.

"Oh, Adelbert," I mewl around my makeshift gag as a shudder rolls through my body.

I redouble my effort, closing my eyes as one hand alternates between my breasts and the other furiously flicks my swollen clit.

Behind my eyelids, Adelbert leans down and swallows my cries as I break into a million pieces, coming on his fingers. My legs tremble and my back arches off the bed, pleasure coursing through my veins and shutting out the world. My arousal drips down between my legs in clear evidence of what I wish the male could really do to me.

This is the last time , I promise myself as my heart rate slows and I crawl beneath the covers. Alone.