16. Darcy

Chapter 16

Darcy

" I found it!" Aria shouted from the other end of the long table. She stood so quickly, the normally graceful woman nearly dropped the laptop to the ground when she tripped over the plug.

"The house?"

Ever since Lyndon and I had shared that vision two days ago, and the amazing time after that, we'd been focusing on trying to work out what it meant. While Ambrose had crawled back into his workroom to continue his research on the portal and why it had appeared, Aria, Lyndon, and I had been researching the visions.

Because Aria was a boss, we'd been able to somehow show her the visions so she could see everything we'd seen. I didn't get how it all worked, but now she had the visuals of the house, the children, and the Hearts Haven sign. We then went to work researching everything we could to see if we could find the existence of that town or that house anywhere in this realm.

While Lyndon and Aria seemed most interested in dissecting the vision, I was way more focused on what I'd seen. All my life, I'd dreamed, but never truly believed, I could have all the things that it had shown. Could it really happen for me? Could I not only have a mate, my one true love, but a family? It was almost too much to hope for. I couldn't voice how much I wanted it, afraid it would somehow change.

We divided up the tasks. I was trying to find out if Hearts Haven existed, Lyndon was researching if there were any known covens whose distinguishing feature was silver eyes, like the little boy's in the vision, since both Lyndon and Aria were sure he was a witch, and Aria was trying to find the house. So far none of us were having any luck. Until now.

"Yes! I found it, look!"

Lyndon and I glanced at each other before getting up to see what she was talking about. My insides got all fluttery when our hands casually brushed as we gathered behind her seat.

Lyndon had been blessing me with all kinds of small touches in the last couple days. We hadn't had sex again, though I had seen a suction cup dildo in the shower, but I didn't mind. The little squeezes of my shoulder, the brush of his lips on my forehead, his thigh against mine while we were sitting—those moments were way more important to me than getting off. We might not have talked about anything, but Lyndon showing those signs of affection had any sort of wall I'd built around my heart to protect myself crumbling down. If he changed his mind now, I'd break. I was sure of it.

The depressing thoughts were pushed to the side once I looked at the screen.

Lyndon huffed out a laugh. "Zillow? Really? All this research and you somehow found the house on a human real estate site?"

Aria just shrugged. "Whatever works, right? Since I'm the only one who got answers, I think you should be thanking me instead of making fun of my methods."

I shot Lyndon a look. "You're right. Thank you, Aria. So where is it?"

"Believe it or not, it's in Maine. It looks like it's about a four-hour drive from here."

"Maine? Why would we be looking for houses in Maine?"

Aria shrugged. "Who knows. Road trip?"

Lyndon scowled at her. "Aria . . ." What was with his tone?

"What?" she asked innocently.

I just watched the two of them, trying to figure out what was happening.

"You know damn well we can't go on a road trip. We can't leave the cabin."

It took me a second, but then I realized what he was talking about. "Because of me . . ."

Lyndon whirled on me and cupped my face, his purple eyes blazing. "It's not because of you, sunshine. It's this society. You know I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of you. I'd gladly walk side by side with you, but if the humans saw you . . ."

He trailed off, but I understood enough about this world now to get it.

"I know. It's okay, really."

"Lyn, just glamour him."

If anything, Lyndon scowled even harder. It always amazed me how many different frowns the man seemed to have. "Aria . . ."

"Lyndon . . .," Aria mocked in the same tone he'd used. "We all know you've been avoiding your mother like the plague. Mother has been holding her off as much as possible, but—"

"No buts. You know how my mother is. She's going to ask Darcy a million questions, demand to know every minute of his very long life, and take over everything."

I was so confused but just sat back, listening to the two cousins bicker. It was fascinating watching Lyndon with his family. I could barely remember my birth family. My kind left the nest once we reached adolescence and it was rare to go back. My family had been only Rafe for a really long time. Eventually, Kennedy and his friends had been added to it, but it wasn't the same as Lyndon and his coven. He might like to pretend he couldn't stand them, but I could see how much they meant to him.

"Aunt Zelda is the best glamour witch I've ever seen. You know witches and other parahumans go to her to get them done. I don't understand why you won't just talk to her. She'd be thrilled to help. I'm sure Darcy would be happy to get out of this goddess-forsaken cabin too. You can't just keep him trapped here forever."

"He shouldn't have to need a glamour to go out in public!"

Aria waved her hand. "No shit. Did you not read the sign in your own vision? Can't you see what the goddess is building up to? Society will get better, Lyn. There will be a place where Darcy and others like him will be safe, where we all will be safe. But in the meantime, ask your mother for help."

They were both glaring at each other, and I realized neither would back down.

"What's a glamour?" I asked, bringing them both out of their standoff.

Their heads snapped toward me, and I couldn't help but giggle at the matching bulging purple eyes staring in my direction.

"I keep forgetting how little you know about my world. Sorry, Darcy." Lyndon squeezed my hand in apology, and little sparks shot between us. I really hoped that never went away. I loved that feeling. It reminded me that this was real.

"A glamour is almost like a trick to make people think one thing, while another is true. In this case, Aunt Zelda could make you appear human so you can travel in public without causing any issues."

"What if it doesn't work?" Lyndon snapped. "Darcy's not from here. How do we even know Mother's glamours will work on him?"

"Well, we will never know if she doesn't try it, will we?"

"You know it's not that simple. We're crossing state lines. He's going to need papers that he doesn't have. They're going to ask questions we don't have answers to."

Aria laughed, tilting her head back. "Did you think we were traveling in a car? For goddess's sake, Lyndon, it's like you don't know me at all." Aria clutched her chest, pretending to be offended. "Ambrose might be the expert in all things portals, but I'm not so incapable that I can't manage to get us to a place I have an address and a visual of." She rolled her eyes.

I ignored her and focused on Lyndon. "Why don't you want me to go?" I asked him seriously. I didn't care about anything but that, even if I was afraid of the answer. He'd said he wasn't embarrassed by me, and he seemed to have at least come to terms with the mate bond, but what if it was all a ploy until he could figure out a way to get rid of me? Maybe he was still struggling with this and wanted me gone.

Lyndon kissed me before I could completely spiral. "Easy, sunshine. Everything is fine. I can feel your panic."

I took a deep, shuddery breath. The best way to keep me from panicking was to find out the truth. Even if I didn't want to hear it, it would be better than not knowing at all.

"Do you ssstill want to break the bond?" I blurted out.

Lyndon staggered back a few steps, his eyes wide. "What?"

"I jusssst—you don't want me to meet your mother, you don't want to go sssee the house from our vision, you want me to ssstay here out of sssssite where you can control who sssees me . . ." Besides the twins, who obviously just came and went wherever they wanted to. "You sssay you're not embarrassed by me, and I believe you. I can feel that. Ssso is it because you're ssstill not sure? Are you ssstill hoping to find a way to break the bond?"

"I'm just going to be outside," Aria said quietly and slipped out, leaving us alone.

"Sunshine," Lyndon started, but I held up a hand.

"No, please don't call me that until we clear this up. I can't think sssstraight when you call me that."

"Okay, sorry, Darcy. I— Fuck, sorry."

Lyndon started to pace, and I just stood there, waiting. I'd never felt so vulnerable in my life. My skin was itchy, and I was almost tempted to shift into my full animal form just to feel more protected. My emotions weren't as strong in that form. I could shield myself from Lyndon's words more.

Finally, he turned back to me and met my eyes. "I don't want to break the bond."

Air filled my lungs so rapidly, it felt like I was choking on it. It was the first time he'd said the words out loud. His actions had implied them, but with the way he'd reacted to Aria earlier, all the doubts I'd been burying had come back full force. My eyes were wet, and I had to blink the tears back.

"O-okay." It was all I could manage.

Lyndon stalked to me until he was right in my personal space. He grasped the back of my neck and brought my forehead forward to touch his.

"I'm fucking terrified, and my feelings are all over the place. I can't put them in words. But I don't want to break the bond. I don't want you to go back to your home world, as selfish as that sounds. As scared as I am of being with you, the idea of being without you frightens me more. I'm sorry. I know that might not be enough to comfort you, but that's all I can give you now."

I smiled, without faces so close, our lips touched. I dragged my claws lightly down his arms, knowing how much he loved it. "It's enough, Lyn. I don't need all the answerssss. I just needed to know you weren't looking for ways to get rid of me still. I don't think my heart could take it."

"Never. You're stuck with me, sun—Darcy."

"You can call me sunshine again."

Lyndon laughed and kissed me roughly. "You're something else, sunshine."

He eased back, but I took his hand before he could get too far. I needed him close.

"Why don't you want me to meet your mother? Or go to Maine?" Not that I even knew what Maine was, but still. If the home in our vision was there, I wanted to see it.

Lyndon waved his hands in frustration. Little sparks of green shot from his fingers, letting me know he wasn't really in control right now. His emotions were right on the surface.

"I don't have a good answer for you. I'm sorry, but nothing I say is going to make sense because I can't really form it."

"Can you try?" I asked softly. "It's okay if it doesn't make any sssense, as long as it's true."

"I don't even know what to say. I meant what I said to Aria. I fucking hate that you'd need to hide to go out in public. I hate that I put you in that position. That being tied to me has forces you to hide who you are. I don't want you to have to do that just to be with me. Then, the other part of me is just scared. I wasn't lying about that. I've spent my whole life, especially after the Unveiling, keeping to myself and under the radar. I didn't want to make waves. I didn't want to be one of the people fighting for parahuman rights. I grumbled quietly to myself while filling out all the appropriate registration paperwork and jumping through all fucking hoops just to practice magic in my own home. I knew it was wrong, but it wasn't up to me to fix it. It was someone else's job to worry about it."

Lyndon stopped, his chest heaving, but I didn't interrupt. He had more to say.

Finally, he slumped onto a chair, looking exhausted. I wanted to go to him so badly, but I wasn't sure if it would be appreciated.

He looked at me. "And now. Now the goddess is sending me these visions that are fucking mind-boggling. Is she really trying to say that I'm going to create some safe haven for all parahumans? Me? Of all the people she could have chosen, why me? It's absurd. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'm not a warrior. My magic isn't even that strong and it can't cause harm. I know nothing about politics. I have no influence. Why would I even want to start this place? I'm not a leader."

Unable to help myself, I went to Lyndon and knelt in between his legs.

"It's okay, bright eyes. Just breathe. You don't need all the answersss right now."

Lyndon's eyes were wild, frazzled. "I— This is overwhelming, sunshine. I know better than to ignore the goddess, especially after she trapped me in that nightmare. That's why I've been researching them. But going to Maine, having you go under a glamour? It's making it all real. It means I'm accepting the burden the goddess is apparently putting on my shoulders. How can I do that when I don't even know what it means?"

My heart was breaking for this man. He was all over the place and couldn't even land on one worry. "It'sss okay not to understand everything. It'sss okay to not know what the future holdsss. Whatever happens, I'm here for you. We're doing this together, so you don't have to handle this all by yourself. I'm here, your family's here, and it'sss okay."

"Fuck, Darcy. I'm scared."

I sat up on my knees so that our noses were touching. "I'm ssscared too, Lyndon, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm all in."

"You really are, aren't you? I don't understand how you can accept all this so easily. You should be the one freaking out, not me."

I shrugged. I wasn't sure how to explain it. "I guess that's just who I am. It was why I wasss one of the first to try and get accepted into the human world. Nothing will ever change if you don't take chancesss."

"How do you know it will be worth it though? What if it doesn't work out?"

"You don't. Everything could go to ssshit. But if I didn't take the chances, then I'd alwaysssss be wondering what if. I might be making the easy choice, but easy choicesss aren't always the best ones. Sometimessss it's the hard road that leads to the best thingssss."

Lyndon threw himself off the chair and into my lap. It took me so much by surprise that I fell back and landed on my ass.

"I'm in awe of you. Come to bed with me."

I licked my lips, very much on board with that plan. "What about Aria?"

"She'll be fine. She'll be too busy talking to my mother anyway." He raised his voice just a little. Aria whooped from the front porch.

"Was ssshe listening the whole time?" I asked, a little horrified.

"That's why I don't live on coven lands. Nosy fuckers."

"I heard that!" Aria called.

"I know!" Lyndon shouted back. Then he climbed out of my lap and held out a hand to me.

"C'mon, sunshine. I've been preparing myself for you. Let me show you how much I really want you."