13. Lyndon

Chapter 13

Lyndon

W armth enveloped me like a cozy cocoon, making it hard to want to move. I should be waking up, but my eyes felt heavy and I was so comfortable. Safe. I curled further into the heat. Surely, I could sleep for a little while longer?

"Mmmm, morning," a voice mumbled sleepily. That was when I realized the cocoon wasn't just blankets, but someone lying half on me. An arm tightened around my chest and brought me closer so my back was pushed against someone's front. Something rubbed against my ass, something hard and long. No, not something, somethings.

My eyes flew open. I tried to reach for my magic, but nothing happened. I felt hollow.

"Relax, it's just me."

I wiggled out of the hold and turned to see who was sharing my bed with me. Darcy lay on his side facing me, his eyes half open. He wasn't wearing anything but a pair of my old boxers that I had cut for him to accommodate his tail.

I scrambled away and nearly fell off the bed in the process. Why was Darcy in my bed? Didn't he realize what that meant?

"Lyndon?" Darcy sat up now, concern etched in his features.

"You, um . . . Why are you here?"

Hurt flashed on his face. "You don't remember what happened?"

I closed my eyes and allowed the memories to start to come back. I had been in the bathroom, bitching about my headache and sleepless nights, and then . . . I must've had another vision. But it had been awful and I'd been stuck. I couldn't get out. I had no idea what was real anymore.

Then Darcy came into my subconscious. He'd told me he needed to touch me to save me, and I'd agreed. I'd agreed to this.

I deflated. "Sorry, Darcy. I remember now. Um, thanks for, you know, saving me."

His lips tipped up. "You don't have to thank me for that, Lyndon. I'll do it every time." Why did that make me feel weird inside? "How are you feeling?"

"Um, okay, I think. Tired. Starving."

"Yeah, your aunt said you'd be hungry. There's food in the fridge I can heat up for you."

Goddess, now that everything was coming back to me, I vaguely remembered Darcy telling me my aunt and cousins were here. I guessed everything was out in the open now. I wouldn't be surprised if my mother had been blowing up my phone for hours.

"That would be great, thanks. I'm going to get cleaned up, take a shower. I'm feeling kind of gross."

Darcy nodded. "It's not really a surprise. You've been asleep for 12 hours."

12 hours! Goddess. Yeah, I was not checking my phone. I was so not ready to deal with that.

"I didn't realize I was out that long. Were you stuck in bed with me the whole time? I'm sorry."

Darcy's tongue darted out. "Stop apologizing. I didn't mind, and you needed the rest. Watching you seize like that was awful."

I shifted from foot to foot, feeling a little guilty. I didn't want him to feel bad.

I should say something, but I didn't know what. Luckily, Darcy took that choice away from me. "You go and clean up, and I'll make us some breakfast. Then we should probably talk."

Ugh, yeah, that was a good idea. Clearly something had happened, but I was hazy on the details. I tried to see if I could feel the bond between Darcy and me, but with my magic wells so depleted, I didn't sense anything so I couldn't be sure.

Darcy left the room, and I stumbled my way into the bathroom. Goddess, how did everything get so fucked up? Were Darcy and I officially mates now? If we were, what did that mean? He couldn't stay here, not forever anyway. I guessed I could go to his realm, but from what I understood, the magic was different there. What if it affected me? Also, as much as I'd never admit it, I'd miss my family and my coven.

But where did that leave us? I'd never heard of a mated couple able to do long distance. Could we even do that in two different realms? I doubted video chats worked.

Ugh, what was I even thinking about this for anyway? Right now, I just needed to get clean and eat something. Then get information. I couldn't fix anything until I knew exactly what was wrong.

I slipped out of my sweats, the only thing I was wearing, and turned the water as hot as it went. My body was coated with dried sweat, and my hair was matted with it.

The water felt amazing, but I didn't linger. My stomach wouldn't stop growling, and I really needed to get a grasp on this situation. Probably call my family.

As soon as I was finished and stepped into the main living area, I was overwhelmed by the smells of bacon and eggs and, ooh, French toast. Goddess, did Darcy know how to cook?

I walked into the kitchen and immediately stopped in my tracks.

Darcy was still wearing just the little underwear he'd had on in bed. His back was to me, exposing all the lean muscles there. His tail flicked back and forth, the tip touching the floor. I found myself unable to look away, imagining all the things his tail could do.

Darcy turned toward me, a smile on his face. He was wearing a white apron with ruffles around the edges and a little star and moon pattern all over it.

"Where did you get an apron?" I had a utility one I used when making potions, but not anything like that. He looked so adorable.

He shrugged, the spatula still in his hand. "Aria gave it to me when I told her I enjoyed cooking. I've been wearing it the whole time I've been here."

I frowned. He had? Wait . . . "Have you been cooking for us all this time?"

I'd admit I'd gotten easily distracted by work and the insane effort it had taken to avoid Darcy, but surely he hadn't been cooking for me, had he? I tried to think back and all I could remember were plates of food being left by me. Fuck, I was an idiot.

Darcy, who had been what I'd decided was his base color of a dark green, paled. Was that his way of blushing?

"Uh, yeah. No big deal. I like cooking. Plus, you're letting me stay here."

Letting was a strong word, but I stayed quiet. Everything was shifting in my head, I wasn't going to add anything else to consider.

"C'mon, let's eat," Darcy said cheerily. "I know you're starving."

I followed him to my table and thanked him when he handed me a loaded down plate.

For a while, I was so completely consumed by the food that I forgot everything else.

"This is delicious, Darc. Thank you."

He beamed. "I'm glad you like it."

"Hmmm, I can't believe I didn't notice you were cooking for me all week. I feel like an asshole."

"Eh, it'sss really not a big deal. You had bigger thingssss to worry about."

I glared at him. "You were the one stuck in a new world with no way home and forced into a bond with a jackass witch because, apparently, his goddess likes to mess with his life."

It was Darcy's turn to glare. "I hate when you talk about yourself like that. And for fuck'sss sake, ssssstop acting like you're doing me a favor by wanting to break the bond. You're the one who'ssss afraid of it, not me."

I flinched. I hadn't expected such a blunt attack from him.

"I mean, of course I'm afraid. What good could possibly come from forcing you to stay with me? I'd drive you crazy in a month and you'd end up resenting me. I know the goddess wants us together for whatever reason, and all these visions probably mean something. I also know I agreed to you touching me and I'm so grateful you did, but can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that if you had the chance to sever ties and go back home, you wouldn't take it?"

Darcy's eyes were practically glowing when they met mine. "No. I wouldn't. I might missss my friends and family, even my job. But no, if it wasss completely up to me, I wouldn't walk away from this. A mate bond is something precioussss. Not everyone gets to feel that kind of love. I wouldn't walk away from ssssomething like that. Not ever. It'sss all I've ever wanted."

Suddenly, everything felt too heavy. I couldn't deal with this. I couldn't deal with the responsibility Darcy was putting on my shoulders. He'd hate me if he stayed with me. No one could deal with me for long. I was particular in everything I did. I needed alone time and hated when people touched me. I didn't want friends and I barely tolerated my family. Not to mention Darcy would be forced to be locked up on my property all the time or have to hide under a glamour. That wasn't fair to him. He deserved to be free, for the whole world to see the light inside of him that shined so fucking brightly. I wouldn't shackle him to me. I couldn't. Even if I was selfishly starting to grow attached to the idea of Darcy being mine, it wasn't the right thing to do. I wouldn't force him to hold to something he'd done to save my life. I'd find a way to fix this.

I needed to get out of here. Darcy's concerned look was too much. "Excuse me, I need to check on my garden." I pushed away from the table and ran before Darcy could say another word.

"Lyndon! You can't keep running away from thisss!"

I ignored him and pushed my front door open. Taking a deep breath, I relished the fresh air burning my lungs. My magic still felt weak, but my garden was calling to me. I beelined to it, even when I felt Darcy follow me.

"Lyndon—" But I held a hand out to stop him.

"Darcy, please. I just—this is a lot."

He snorted. "Like it'ssss not for me? But running won't sssolve anything. Neither will ignoring it. Your goddesss made it clear that ssshe doesn't like that."

I shuddered remembering those visions. "Yeah, don't remind me."

Darcy's expression softened. "The thingsss I saw, wassss that what you were ssstuck in?"

I nodded numbly.

"Isss that what your other visions looked like too?"

I wrapped my arms around myself. "Can we finish this in the garden please? I won't run again. I just need to be over there."

He licked his lips, his inner eyelid closing rapidly. "Ssssure."

Luckily, Darcy didn't push me any further as we took the short walk to my garden. There was no evidence of the portal or Darcy trampling through my tomatoes anymore. I didn't expect the pang of sadness I felt when I looked at my now healthy garden. It was the same when I saw my repaired floorboards inside. It was silly, as of course I'd repair my plants and home, but it had been a reminder of Darcy. Now, when he left me, there'd be nothing remaining of him.

I shook away the thoughts. He was right here, hovering at the edge of the garden, waiting for me.

My magic started to heal as soon as my fingers touched the dirt. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt it in my soul as, bit by bit, my strength returned. The soil under my fingers began to stir, the grass and flowers swaying. The roots from the nearby carrots perked at my presence and began to spread. I smiled and just listened as my garden healed me from the inside out.

Once I felt whole again, I noticed other differences. My magic wasn't the same. Instead of its usual calm and steady stream, there was an energy to it, a buzz that lit up my nerves. Darcy.

I turned toward him. "I feel you."

He nodded. "I know. I feel you too. Steady, ssstrong, like the roots of a tree. Aunt Belinda sssaid she's never heard of that before—that our connection is already so strong when we haven't been intimate and you weren't even accepting of it. Ssshe said it should be volatile, but it'sss not. I think her and Aria were going to do some research." His expression turned serious. "I did ask her to sssee if she could find a way to break it. Let me make this clear to you, Lyndon. I don't want to. I feel something here, sssomething ssspecial, and I want to explore it. I know you feel it too, but you're ssscared. I don't want you to feel like you're trapped in anything just because you weren't willing to die for it. If she does find a way to break it and you ssstill want to, I won't fight you."

I blinked. My feelings for Darcy had been building every day, and the idea of breaking the bond now that it had formed hurt, like physically hurt. I didn't want to lose that connection. Even if it made me a selfish asshole, I just didn't want to lose it. The idea of walking away from Darcy now that I could feel his essence inside my body was painful.

It didn't, however, change my concerns. They were still valid. There was also the little matter of the visions. I couldn't keep ignoring those. The one with Darcy kept entering my mind. Hearts Haven . What even was that? I would need to do some research.

Now though, I just wanted to tend to my plants. I smiled softly at Darcy. "Do you want to help me? I'll show you what to do."

Darcy sucked in a breath. He recognized I was changing the subject, but he also understood what the gesture meant. I'd probably said no less than 50 times for him to stay the fuck away from my garden. If he'd even looked in that direction, I'd snapped at him. But now I was inviting him to not only be in it, but to help me. Even I couldn't believe myself.

Darcy nodded silently and started to tread as carefully as he could through it. He lifted his tail and wrapped it around his waist so it wouldn't hit anything. His consideration warmed me.

"It's okay, Darcy. I know I made a big deal about it, but the plants know you're not being careless or cruel. Accidents happen."

"They talk to you?" he asked with surprise and very carefully knelt next to me.

"Sort of? They don't speak with words, but they do have feelings of sorts, maybe more of a vibe, and I can feel that. They also understand me and respond to me in their own ways."

"Wow, that's amazing. Your magic is everywhere out here. It's strong and powerful. Happy."

I snorted. "My magic is happy?"

"Out here, yeah. Not everywhere, but I can tell this is your safe space. There's a difference in your magic. In your work area or just around your house, it's not as sweet or vibrant. I don't know how to explain it."

"Hmmm, that's interesting. I don't think I realized that."

Darcy reached out a careful claw and brushed the top of the carrots that were just starting to grow. "No, I don't even know if you can. It's part of you. The differences are subtle, but for some reason I notice everything when it comes to you."

I cleared my throat. "Here, let me show you what to do." Yes, I was changing the subject again, but I didn't do well with emotions, and Darcy's honest response was making me feel all kinds of things.

Darcy, the kind man that he was, allowed me to do so. He bounced on his knees some and then leaned closer to me, ready to listen to my instructions.

He was so fucking close. Goddess. I could smell the remnants of our breakfast, the smell of pine from my bodywash he'd been using.

Before I could think better of it, I reached out and brushed his face, not missing his gasp of surprise.

It was the first time I'd touched Darcy intentionally, without the threat of losing myself and my sanity to those awful visions. This was just Darcy and me and my desire to give in for once.

Little tingles zapped through my fingers, leaving a warmth that filled my whole body. Goddess.

Darcy reached out like he wanted to return the gesture but hesitated. I nodded slightly, giving him permission. He touched my hand that was on his cheek.

Nothing happened. There were no more visions, no more of my magic seeping into him. It was just two men touching each other. It still felt meaningful. Significant. There was power in intentions, and nothing was more intentional than me making that move.

Staring into Darcy's eyes, I wondered why I was so resistant to this. Darcy was the sweetest, kindest, most interesting being I'd ever met. He deserved to be happy and loved. I still thought I was a terrible person for that job, but if both he and the goddess thought otherwise, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to give in?

"I really want to kiss you." The words were out before I knew I'd said them. Goddess, it was one thing to touch Darcy, but my mouth was getting ahead of itself. We weren't ready for that.

I never got a chance to take it back though. Darcy leaned forward and his lips touched mine.