Chapter Seventeen

"Temperance?"

Turning, Temperance looked at the door, expecting to see her aunt standing in the doorway. Instead, she saw her mother as she came further into the room. Temperance swallowed hard, her joy evaporating. She had spent a very pleasant few hours painting and, much to her own surprise, had found herself painting something rather different from her usual efforts. Instead of painting a seascape, instead of looking at the waves and the swirling clouds above it, she had begun to paint a gentleman and a lady, walking arm in arm along the shore. She had been reminded of the happiness which had filled her heart when she had seen Lord Calverton and her aunt walking arm in arm towards her on the beach. They had been smiling and laughing at each other as though they had been friends for a very long time – and after that, her happiness had increased as she had watched Lord Barlington take his leave.

She had a great and a tremendous fear that her mother was about to speak of Lord Barlington all over again.

"You are doing a great deal of painting, Temperance." Her mother clicked her tongue and shook her head. "I think it is a little too much, frankly."

"I enjoy painting, Mama," she replied, not letting her mother's words cut at her heart too much. "It brings me a great deal of joy."

"Then you must find other things that bring you joy," came the reply, as though this was something that Temperance was doing wrong. "In speaking of that, Temperance, I think it is high time that you listened to all that Lord Barlington wishes to say to you."

Temperance immediately shook her head. "No. I have no desire to speak to him about anything at all."

"Be that as it may, your father and I have discussed this and we have both decided that it would be right for you to do so. Whether you would be glad to hear him or not, it is only polite for you to hear what he has to say. After all, Temperance, he has given up a great deal for you! "

"Given up a great deal?" Temperance repeated, her voice rising a little with anger. "What is it that he has ‘given up' for me?"

Her mother planted her hands at her hips. "Temperance, you are being unreasonable! He has given up the London Season in order to be here near you! He has set aside all that he could gain from that and has, instead, come to seek you out."

"And I do not want to see him," Temperance stated, firmly, flinging up one hand towards her face. "Do you not see this? Do you not recall how he treated me thereafter?"

"I do not think that you can judge him harshly at all!" her mother exclaimed. "He came and spoke to you, did he not? He eagerly requested a conversation with you and it is you who has refused him."

Temperance shook her head and said nothing more, turning back to her painting though she did not truly see it. Her vision blurred as she blinked back hot tears, wishing that her mother could show her even the smallest semblance of understanding.

"Now, he will be here in a few minutes and I expect you to listen to everything that he has to say."

Twisting around, Temperance stared at her mother, though the Duchess lifted her chin and gazed back at her without a word, almost daring her to challenge what she had said.

"I… I cannot, I – "

"You will tolerate him for a few minutes, Temperance." The Duchess sniffed and then turned on her heel. "And do not think that you can take your leave. I will be standing directly outside, waiting for him to arrive. Thereafter, I will stand at the open door and allow him to speak freely. Do you understand?"

Temperance swallowed at the tightness in her throat, trying desperately to find something to say, her heart pounding furiously but from the look in her mother's eyes, she realized it wouldn't make any difference. Her mother had determined what she was to do and that was all there was to it. The Duchess stepped out of the room, the door closed and Temperance stared at it for some moments, her whole body suddenly growing cold.

What can I do?

Hurriedly, she grasped some paper and, after a few moments, composed two short notes. Ringing the bell, Temperance paced back and forth, waiting for the maid .

"Temperance?" Her mother lifted an eyebrow as the maid came in behind her. "What is the meaning of this? You are not going to use the maid to escape!"

"I was only going to request a tea tray, Mama, and a bowl to wash my hands before Lord Barlington arrives," Temperance answered, her voice trembling furiously as she beckoned the maid closer. "And there are some things here which need to be removed."

Her mother lifted an eyebrow but said nothing, giving only a brief nod and then making her way back to the door.

"Have this sent to Lord Calverton at once," Temperance murmured, handing the first note to the maid. "And this to Lady Thurston. At once, you understand?"

The maid nodded. "What else am I to do here, my lady?"

Temperance shook her head. "Nothing. Now go with all haste." As the maid left, Temperance drew in a deep breath and then set her shoulders. Lord Barlington was going to come into her private parlor, a place where she had found herself a little healed from the pain he had caused her, and would, instead, shatter the peace which she now held so dear.

But what could she do? Her mother had basically confined her to this room, determining that she would hear all that Lord Barlington had to say, no matter what she herself wanted!

Her eyes closed as she trembled visibly, her anxiety increasing every moment that she waited for his arrival. This had all been arranged without her consent and now all she could do was wait.

***

"Finally, we are to be able to speak, face to face and without interruption."

Temperance did not go to sit down as Lord Barlington came into the room. Instead, keeping her chin lifted – despite the trembling in her frame – she stepped behind the couch and set her hands to it, her fingers curling into the soft fabric.

"I am grateful for the time you are willing to give me," Lord Barlington continued, coming to stand a little closer to her, though he stayed enough of a distance away to leave Temperance a little more at ease. "There is so much that I wish to say. I think that – "

"It is my mother who has determined that I am to speak with you," Temperance interjected, not at all concerned that she had interrupted him so quickly. "I did not know of this arrangement. I was not told of it."

Lord Barlington, rather than appearing at all concerned by this, rather than stating that he was sorry such a thing had happened, merely shrugged and Temperance's stomach twisted. To her mind, it was clear just how little Lord Barlington cared for her, even if he pretended to be doing so.

"I am grateful for the opportunity to say all that I wish to say," he said, taking a few steps closer to the couch, though Temperance silently vowed to keep a piece of furniture between them no matter how much he tried to do otherwise. "Lady Temperance, you must know how much I regret what I did."

"Your regret does not matter to me."

"Though it should!" came the reply. "It could change a great deal between us if only you would consider what I have to say."

Temperance shook her head. "No, Lord Barlington. Nothing will change between us."

"But I am truly sorry," he said, his tone beseeching, his eyes a little wide as though by his words and his expression, he might convince her. "I should never have turned from you. The scar is severe, yes, but that does not mean that you have altered!"

"And yet, you broke our engagement because of it!" Temperance exclaimed, a deep anger beginning to push its way through her, anger which had remained unspoken for the last two years. "You told me that I was worth nothing to you any longer, that this imperfection was not something you could endure, as though you were the one suffering. You did not have any real concern for me; you only thought of yourself. And now you come to me, expecting me to be grateful for your return and your apology?"

"Perhaps not grateful," Lord Barlington murmured, his voice soft but a glint in his eye which Temperance did not like. "Though I did hope that you would understand."

Temperance shook her head, silently praying that Lord Barlington would either quit the room or that Lord Calverton or Lady Thurston would appear and be able to bring her the relief she so desperately craved .

"I want to try again, Temperance." Lord Barlington moved to make his way around the couch towards her but Temperance moved quickly, keeping the piece of furniture between them. "Why do you avoid me so? Why do you hurry away? Can you not see that this connection, this closeness is something that would be good for the two of us?"

"No, it would not be," she answered, her voice rasping a little as fear began to climb up her throat. What if Lord Barlington attempted to force himself into a situation where they might be then ‘discovered' by her mother, thereby forcing a connection between them again? He was not a good, kind-hearted, understanding gentleman and his clear expectation that she would accept him might very well force him to act in such a desperate manner. What if she could not escape him?

"You are mistaken if you think that lingering here, in this house as a spinster, will be any better for you," Lord Barlington continued, his lip curling just a little. "Come now, Temperance, do be reasonable. Can you not see how devoted I am to you? I have given up society life, I have made arrangements to reside near you, all so that I might express just how eager I am for us to return to what we once shared."

Temperance's breath came quick and fast as she continued to move slowly, keeping a distance between Lord Barlington and herself. "You think that you have all the answers to my present difficulties, Lord Barlington, but you presume too much. You believe I am upset, that I am sorrowful in where I am at present when I assure you, I am quite the opposite. I do not require you to come back to rescue me. I do not require you to pull me from spinsterhood."

Lord Barlington clicked his tongue. "Yes, you do. You merely do not see it as yet."

The arrogance with which he spoke made her both angry and stunned that he should think it quite suitable for him to speak to her in such a manner. Did he truly believe that he had the right to tell her such things? That he was some how required to give her such advice?

"I made a mistake, Temperance," he said, firmly. "I want now to rectify it. "

"That is your desire," she answered, attempting to speak with as much firmness as he. "It is not mine and you cannot force that upon me."

Something passed over Lord Barlington's expression which gripped Temperance's heart with a terror she could not explain. Lord Barlington's jaw tightened, his eyes narrowed and fixed to hers. There was a hint of steel in them, a slight narrowing of the edges of his eyes that made Temperance's heart squeeze with fright. She looked to the door, wondering if her mother was suddenly going to burst into the room in the hope that something untoward was taking place.

"Come now, Temperance, do be reasonable." There was a darkness to Lord Barlington's tone which made her shudder violently. "I have never stopped caring for you. These last two years have been torment, separated from you in a way which has torn at my heart. To realize that the sadness and upset upon me were my own doing made my guilt and embarrassment grow to such heights, they could not be tolerated! It was then that I decided to do what I had to in order to try and bring about a healing between us."

Temperance did not believe a single word which came from his mouth. There was no genuine emotion there, no hint of promise in anything that he had to say. Temperance tried to think of an answer, tried to find a way to tell him that nothing that he said to her, nothing that he expressed, would make any difference to her heart but, in the end, chose to say nothing. To her mind, it seemed that anything she tried to say would either be rejected or turned back on her, as though somehow she were the one in the wrong for refusing to accept him.

"I beg of you to consider all I have said, Temperance." Lord Barlington made his way towards her again but quickly, she stepped behind the couch once more. Instantly, the darkness on Lord Barlington's expression grew heavier.

"Temperance," he said, in a somewhat commanding tone, "you are being foolish. There is no need for these games! I – "

"Ah, here you are! I should have known you would be painting."

Relief poured into Temperance's veins and, feeling suddenly weak, she made her way around and sat down heavily on the couch, just as Lord Calverton came a little further into the room. His smile was broad but the way his eyes sparkled with obvious concern made Temperance aware of just how much he was worried.

"My mother insisted that we come to call for she has just found the most wonderful scene and wishes to speak to you about it," Lord Calverton continued, giving Lord Barlington a brief nod. "You know very well what my mother is like, I am afraid!"

"Yes, I do." Temperance managed a faint smile, her heartbeat finally slowing, only for Lady Thurston to come sailing into the room.

"And here I am at last, Temperance," she said, ignoring Lord Barlington completely. "I know you were expecting me to call a little earlier, but I confess that I took a little too long to choose my bonnet. Now," she continued, smiling warmly as she sat down beside Temperance, "should you like to show me your most recent painting? Or are we to wait for Lady Calverton?"

Temperance managed another smile. "Lord Calverton has just told me that his mother is eager to speak with me so yes, I think we should wait for her to arrive."

"She will be here presently. I took my horse and she was having the carriage prepared by the time I left." Lord Calverton smiled at her and then sat down, making his presence felt in the room. It was not as though he was going to be taking his leave at any time and from the way Lord Barlington frowned, Temperance was sure that he was more than a little frustrated at the interruption.

"Then I will have the tea trays brought here," Temperance murmured, as Lady Thurston reached to press her hand for a moment, her action making Temperance's courage rise all the more. "Thank you both for coming." She smiled, not looking to Lord Barlington. "I am sure we will have a very pleasant afternoon indeed."