56. Natalia

56

NATALIA

"It's going to be alright, Natalia. I swear it."

Andrey's face hovers in front of me. He cups my cheeks, wipes away my tears. But nothing soothes the ache in my chest. The soul-crushing weight of wrongness that permeates every second.

As if he realizes that, Andrey drops his hands. "Kat, Mila, and Misha will stay with you. I'm going to go get our boy back."

His lips press hard against my forehead; it has the seal of a promise. Then he's gone, and my room is empty, and the promise feels like nothing but words.

I stand up and walk to Sarra's crib because I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to take care of my daughter, and move, and breathe.

But it all feels so hard. My limbs are heavy, and my thoughts are lost to a dense fog.

"Nat?"

I turn to see Katya in the doorway. Mila and Misha are just behind her, watching me like I'm a house of cards at risk of collapse.

"Are you okay?"

For the first time in a long time, I respond. "How can I be okay? He has my son."

Mila sighs in what looks like relief. "You can talk. We were worried. We thought…"

"That I was having one of my episodes?" I finish for her. "I wanted Andrey to think I was."

"Why?" Katya breathes.

"So he wouldn't be expecting me to break into Nikolai's compound and get my son back."

Misha is the only one who doesn't gasp with shock. Instead, his jaw squares. He nods as though he understands exactly where I'm coming from.

"Nat, that's insane." Katya grabs my hand. "It's too dangerous."

If it's too dangerous for me, then how much worse is it for Grigory?

I pull my hand back. "Which is why no one will be expecting me. While Nikolai is preoccupied with Andrey and his men, I can sneak in, find Grigory, and get him out of there."

I look past Katya and Mila's horrified faces and turn to Misha. "You know the compound, Misha. Can you tell me how to get in and out without being seen?"

"On one condition," Misha says immediately. "I want to come, too."

I squeeze my eyes closed, running the math. Trying to decide if there's any way I can go in there alone and guarantee I can get Grigory out. Any way I can keep Misha safe and also keep my family whole.

"No. No. " Mila looks from Misha to me like she's not sure who to lay into first. "You can't. Either of you. This is?—"

I open my eyes and hold out a hand to Misha. "Deal."

Katya swats the hand out of the air. "Nat! Misha can't go and neither can you."

"I want to go!" Misha argues. "I want to help."

"This is a literal war zone," Mila tells him.

"A war zone my infant son is in the middle of," I interject quietly. "Andrey wants to get him back, but Andrey is the target. He's the reason they took Grigory in the first place. Everyone will be on the lookout for him. While they are, Misha and I can sneak in."

"You're not thinking clearly," Katya insists.

My gaze flickers between Mila and Katya. "This is my family, my son. If you were in my place, wouldn't you do the same?"

Their eyes meet, and I know they understand.

"You're right," Katya admits. Mila starts to argue, but Kat shakes her head. "No, she is right, Mila. If it was my child, I'd want to be there. You would, too."

Mila opens her mouth, but this time, she says, "I'll come with you."

"Not a chance," I snap. "You're still recovering from major surgery." I turn to Katya and stop her before she can offer to come as well. "And you are pregnant."

"Nat—"

"I know how to handle a gun now," I charge ahead, growing more and more confident in my plan. "I know how to use it. And what's more, I'm not afraid to."

Misha slinks a little closer to me. "Neither am I."

I clasp his hand. "Go scope out the jeeps, Misha. We'll need to find one to hide in before the men drive out."

He slips out of the room, leaving me behind with Kat and Mila.

"It's going to be okay," I tell them, knowing I can't be sure. "Everything's going to be alright."

Katya's eyes are brimming with tears. I take her hand and give it a squeeze. "Our roles have reversed. Usually, you're the one with the crazy plan, and I'm the crying mess."

"You were never a mess, Nat. I could always see your strength, even when you couldn't." She hugs me tightly, her hands digging into my back. "I have something to tell you," she whispers as we break apart. She takes a deep breath and holds up her wrist, the yellowing bruise still visible. "Viktor is the one who gave me this bruise."

I gawk at her, but she charges ahead before I can ask any of the dozen questions flitting around my head.

"Remember when I said I was ‘busy' at work? I was really working undercover. I got back into Viktor's good graces and coaxed information out of him."

My jaw drops. "Andrey knew about this?"

"Don't be mad. We didn't want you to worry."

"I can't believe Shura agreed to—" I smack my palm against my forehead. "That's why you two were fighting all the time. How did you convince him? How did you con Viktor?"

She winces. "It's a long story and we don't have the time for it right now. But when you come back— safe and sound, specifically—I'll tell you all about it."

Misha bursts into the room with two guns in his waistband. He hands one to me. "There are two jeeps at the tail end of the convoy. We can hitch a ride on them."

I tuck the gun into my jeans and clasp Misha's neck, pulling his forehead against mine. "No matter what, you stay with me, is that clear?"

He nods.

"Good." I turn to the girls. Mila has an arm wrapped around Katya, who's still fighting back tears. Sarra is sleeping in her bassinet, and I can barely bring myself to look at her.

This isn't goodbye. I'll be back.

Still, I whisper, "Take care of my daughter for me."

Katya sniffs. "Always."

"Be safe," Mila pleads. "And come back to us."