46. Natalia

46

NATALIA

I sit bolt upright. "Sarra?" I gasp. "Grigory?"

But the room is empty. The bed is cold. Even Remi is gone.

I shove the blankets to the end of the bed and grab my robe. I tiptoe through the silent house, expecting danger at every turn.

My thoughts feel wild and uncontrollable. What if they aren't here? What if someone took them?

I'm halfway down the stairs when I hear a cry.

"Sarra!" I sprint down the stairs, following the sound out to the patio.

Then I freeze in the doorway, taking in the scene in front of me.

Andrey is kneeling next to the baby bathtub, suds up to his elbows, no shirt on, and our daughter nestled along his forearm. Misha is cross-legged next to them, petting Remi. Mila and Aunt Annie are on the swing, cooing at a freshly-swaddled Grigory. The air smells like lavender soap and powder.

The dog is the first one to notice me. Remi perks up and then pads over, tongue lolling happily.

"Natalia!" Andrey says when he sees me. "What are you doing out of bed? You were supposed to text if you needed anything."

He straightens up, and I'm thinking about getting back into bed right now. But not in the way he means. He may be a father, but there's no dad bod in sight for my man.

I walk over to him and reach for my freshly washed daughter. "I'm postpartum, not an invalid."

"That doesn't matter." He wraps Sarra in a fresh towel and deposits her into my arms. "You should still be resting."

"I had a full night of sleep, thanks to you." I reach up and stroke the dark circles under his eyes. "How about you sleep tonight and I'll take the night shift?"

"I can handle it," he says dismissively. "Why don't you sit down? I'll get you something to drink."

"Andrey, you don't have to?—"

But he's already on his way to the kitchen in search of refreshments. Misha follows him. "I'll go help."

Sighing, I walk Sarra over to one of the lounge chairs and sink into it. "I'm capable of getting myself a drink."

"But you don't have to," Mila points out. "I wouldn't complain if a man wanted to wait on me hand and foot."

"I'm not complaining. I just?—"

"Don't know how to let yourself be taken care of," Aunt Annie jumps in. "Let that man dote on you, sweetheart. It's good for you both."

"You hit the jackpot," Mila agrees. "Enjoy it."

"I know I'm lucky. I just feel a little useless. He's done all the midnight feedings this week."

"Well, you pushed two human beings out of your vagina," Mila drawls. "You're entitled to a little pampering. If Kat were here, she'd say?—"

"Where has Kat been lately?" I interrupt. "I called her three times yesterday and she texted that she'd call back, but she never did."

Mila looks away from me quickly—a bit too quickly, in my opinion. "She's been busy at work."

"There's no way she's that busy. Something's going on with her."

Mila opens and closes her mouth a few times before she suddenly jumps out of her chair. "The boys are back with drinks. I'll take Sarra."

She plucks my daughter from my arms before I can protest. Then Andrey sits down next to me.

"Do you know what's happening with Katya?" I ask.

"You'd have to ask Shura."

"I would, but Shura's never around anymore, either. Same with Leonty and Olaf. Is there a game of hide-and-seek going on that I'm unaware of?"

"Missing them?"

I narrow my eyes. "No, but I feel like I'm missing something."

"You don't have to sit around and wait for the other shoe to drop, Nat."

I freeze, caught between his arms and my wild thoughts. Isn't that the exact reason I rolled out of bed this morning, wondering where my children were? Wondering why it was so quiet? Scared that everyone had disappeared on me?

I take a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm being irrational."

He kisses my temple. "I don't blame you. I haven't exactly given you a stress-free environment this past year."

"It's not your fault."

"It is." His silver eyes turn steely. "But I intend to change that. Soon."

Despite the warmth of his body nestled against mine, I feel cold. "What does that mean?"

He kisses me again. "Don't you worry about that."

My fingers curl around the shirt he must've tugged on when he was inside. "Andrey, I don't want you taking any unnecessary risks for my benefit. I know you need to deal with Slavik and Nikolai, but don't rush anything."

"I'm handling it."

"Andrey…"

He hushes me, placing a finger against my lips. "Don't worry, little bird. Remember my promise to you. I've got you. I've got this family."

I believe him, but I don't feel any less cold.

The only thing I can do is scoot my way into Andrey's embrace and hope that at some point, the feeling passes.