28. Natalia

28

NATALIA

Remi's head is resting on my knee, his nervous eyes scanning up to my face again and again. He's so worried about me that I can almost forget the blood staining his fur and teeth… the sounds he made as he tore into that man…

If I was a little less grateful for the way he saved me back there, I might be more scared of him. As it is, I try to reach out and pet him. But I can't move my arms thanks to my other, less hairy guard dog.

"Andrey?"

His entire body stiffens, his arms tightening around me like he's trying to hold me together. "What do you need?"

"To breathe, for starters." I manage a fractured smile. "You're squeezing me too tight."

He releases me instantly. I want to calm Remi and swear to Andrey that I'm fine, but even with Andrey's arms gone, my chest is still tight. Panic is clawing up my throat, and I really do need to breathe.

I do a round of the calming exercises Evangeline taught me to help manage my anxiety. Nothing changes, so I do a second round. The third time through, I open my eyes and am vaguely aware of movement just outside the tinted windows of the Escalade.

Don't get distracted.

I close them again and breathe until the weight on my chest eases.

When I'm done, I open my eyes to find Remi and Andrey staring at me with almost identical expressions. "Better?" Andrey asks.

"I feel… good. In control." I'm surprised by how true it is given everything I just went through.

He reaches for my arm and gives it a comforting squeeze. "We'll be leaving soon."

I finally let myself look through the car window—only to see men being rounded up and tied down.

Leif drags one man out by his collar and throws him to the ground. When he raises a fist to strike, I turn away. I've seen more than enough violence for today.

Andrey catches my chin. "The babies?"

"They're fine, too. I can feel them kicking."

His jaw flexes. "You sure you're okay?"

I put my hand on his arm. "If I weren't, I would tell you, Andrey. I promise. Right now, I'm doing okay. They didn't hurt me. He didn't even pull out his gun until you kicked the door in."

I hear more grunts and groans of pain outside the SUV. Knuckles meeting flesh. Screams cut off too soon.

"They know too much," Andrey mutters. It sounds like he's talking to himself.

I risk another peek. Bratva soldiers are escorting a line of men with bags over their heads into the back of a waiting van. "What are you going to do with them?"

He doesn't answer or look at me for a while. His throat rises and falls with each breath until, finally, he turns his attention to me. "Nothing, until you're back at home."

Goosebumps erupt on my skin. I'm fresh from yet another kidnapping attempt, but this is the first time all day I've felt true anxiety. "You're going to leave me to go deal with those men?"

"I have to get answers from them, lastochka . I still don't know who sent them. You'll be safe at the manor. Leif, Leonty, and Olaf will be with you."

"I don't want them to be with me. I want you. "

His jaw tightens again. Any tighter and it might shatter. "I need to deal with this. I'll be home as soon as?—"

"Let me come with you." The words are out of my mouth faster than I can consider just what the hell I'm asking.

"Natalia…" Andrey actually smiles. "You don't want that."

I wait for anxiety and doubt to set in. I wait for good ol' rationality to break through this sudden, burning desire to look those motherfuckers in the face.

Zero. Zilch. Nada.

It never comes. None of it.

"I do. I want to come with you. I want to watch you question them."

He tilts his head to the side as if to see me in a new light. "You don't know what you're asking."

Remi whines like he's agreeing with Andrey. I place a hand on his head and stroke him. "I know what you mean when you say you're going to ‘question' them. I'm not stupid, Andrey."

"Then why would you want to be there?"

"Because…" I trail off, fumbling in the dark of my confused thoughts for an answer. "Because this is your world; I need to know if I can stomach it."

"Natalia, you're not thinking straight. It's been a crazy day. You need to?—"

"Don't," I interrupt. "Don't tell me how I'm feeling and don't tell me what I want."

Sure, there are goosebumps on my arms and my hands are trembling, but beneath the fear and uncertainty, there's something else. Something new.

Or maybe it's not new. Maybe it's been there for a long time. Waiting.

Gritting his teeth, he leans back in the cushioned seats. "I must be insane to agree to this."

"Is that a yes?"

Before he replies, Leif lurches into the driver's seat and starts the engine. "They're loaded up, boss. I can make a pit stop at the manor before we go to the warehouse."

Andrey's face is indecipherable. I wait with bated breath as the muscles in his jaws thrum and twitch, clenching again and again. Then: "Forget the pit stop, Leif. We're going straight to the warehouse."

I can't stop the triumphant smile from spreading across my face. If Leif has questions about Andrey's decision-making, he keeps them to himself. With an obedient nod, he puts the car into drive and we take off after the van filled with men who thought they could put their hands on me and get away with it.

Time to show them just how wrong they were.