44. Natalia

44

NATALIA

"Nat, are you sure you're okay?" It's the third time Leonty has asked.

I wasn't fine the first time. I'd walked out of Mr. Ewes's office thirty seconds earlier, still reeling from the aftermath of the meeting. My ears were still ringing. I felt numb to everything except the complete and utter mortification I felt, so I barely even heard Leonty; I just nodded and followed him to the car.

On the long drive across town, I replayed the conversation in my head again and again and grew progressively less fine. Byron told me what happened, Ms. Boone. And worse, there are security cameras all over the building. I expected more of you.

Now, I'm nauseous and on the verge of tears, but I give Leonty a tight-lipped smile. "I'm fine."

I beeline for the pool house, Remi close at my heels. You can cry when you get to the pool house. You can cry when you get to the ? —

"Natalia?"

I grind to a standstill. All at once, every bit of frustration and resentment coursing through me finds a target.

Andrey appears from around the corner. It looks like he's been out all day. His skin has a sun-kissed glow and his hair is windswept to perfection. He's beautiful.

But today, his good looks don't affect me at all. They only serve as a reminder that the world dances to the tune of men like him, while saving the consequences for women like me.

"Not now, Andrey."

"I just wanted to ask if you got my…" He trails off at the look on my face, his eyes narrowing shrewdly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Leonty defers to his boss and slips away while Andrey moves closer. "I don't think so, lastochka . Tell me what's wrong."

"Just the consequences of my actions. Our actions, I guess." Blinking back tears, I try to blurt it fast. "I'm suspended from work until further notice."

His eyes flare wide. "Why?"

"Because you got jealous and threatened my boss," I spit. "Because I was weak and had sex with you on his desk."

I hate that this is every bit my fault, too. I hate that I can't pin this all on Andrey, no matter how much I want to.

"God," I screech, "I can't even blame Byron. I mean, he reported me for the wrong reasons, but he had every right to do it from the very start. We had sex on his desk, Andrey! There are cameras!"

Remi is squinting at me, his ears pressed down with worry.

"Natalia."

At the sound of Andrey's voice, even Remi cowers. He bares his teeth, a low growl emanating from behind them.

Andrey ignores him. "Byron did this?"

He reaches for me, and Remi snarls.

Andrey flicks an irritated glare at my guard dog. "I can fix this."

Twisting around, I jab a finger into his chest. "Stay out of this. You've done enough."

Remi barks loudly and jumps in between us. I'm not sure if I'm more nervous of him or Andrey. Both of them look more than capable of murder.

"Remi," I say, "it's okay. ‘ Sidet ."

Andrey fixes me with a penetrating stare that's hard to break. "Come with me to my office."

"Not the first time I've heard that today," I huff. "I don't want to."

Andrey ignores me and turns for the door. "Now."

With the word echoing in my ears, I find myself following Andrey through the house and into his office. He closes the door behind me, shutting Remi out. His wet nose pokes under the gap, a frustrated growl rumbling through the wood.

"If you think you can manipulate me again—" I gasp, swallowing the words as he pushes me back against the door.

Andrey's entire body presses hard against mine. His fingers trace the column of my throat. "You're mad at me."

His silver eyes are fixed on me. They're distracting, but it's not like there's anything else to look at, anyway. Andrey is too close. Too big.

Too much. So much that I lost my mind and let him fuck me at work. What the hell was I thinking?

Andrey presses me more firmly against the door, and I remember all at once what I was thinking: God, he feels good.

"Yes, I'm mad," I hiss. "I'm mad at you and myself and Byron and— everything !"

He follows the chain of my necklace down and down, his fingers dipping below the collar of my blouse to pull the golden cherries out. "The trinkets I give you can't make up for that. I understand. You need an outlet for your anger."

I frown. "I don't…"

He takes a step back as Remi starts clawing at it. I don't have the presence of mind to console him right now. My attention is wholly caught by Andrey's hypnotic gaze.

"You want to rage at me?" he asks. "You want to slap me? You want to shout curses and break my stuff?" He gestures around at this office. "Go right ahead."

I fist my hands at my side. "What are you talking about?"

"There's no point in suppressing your anger . My advice? Let it out."

My tongue slides unconsciously over my lips. There's a lot of fragile things in Andrey's office. Would it make me better to shatter them? To watch his expensive things break at my feet the way my life has fallen apart?

"I can't… I don't want… That's not what I want," I stutter.

"Yes, it is. You're pissed off at me. So be pissed off at me." When I don't say anything, he steps back into my space. "Or would you rather I fuck the rage out of you?"

My breath catches as his eyes sparkle with promise. This is what got me in trouble the first time.

But there's a reason I keep coming back to Andrey time and time again. It feels good.

I nod, almost imperceptibly, but Andrey notices. He notices everything.

With one quick move, he spins me around and presses me against the cool wood of the door. Rough hands shove my skirt down my thighs where it pools at my feet.

His fingers graze over my exposed skin, his breath suddenly ragged and hot against my neck. "Surrender to the anger, little bird."

Then I feel him—his girth, his weight, his thickness sliding against my skin and between my thighs.

I bent at the waist, pressing my hips back against him, my palms flat against the textured surface of the wood.

"What do you say, lastochka ? Are you ready to surrender?"

His hardness nudges at my opening without actually pushing past my lips. I know the only way he's going to give me what I want is if I ask for it.

"Fuck me," I whisper. "I need it."

With a satisfied chuckle, Andrey plunges inside me. I slap my hands on the wood, crying out as he buries himself into me as deep as he can go.

Remi barks on the other side of the door, clawing at the wood, but I can barely think in English, let alone the Russian I need to calm Remi down.

"You and me," Andrey pants. "We'll always come back to this. To each other. We need it."

I want to tell him he's a liar. I want to tell him I can live without this. But Andrey's hands come down over mine, his body shadowing mine against the door. We're molded together as he fucks me from behind with all the aggression and frustration I walked into the room with.

But now, the emotions are channeled into this beautiful, perfect thing.

The entire day will be worth it if only I can fall apart around him. If only I can feel him pulse into me.

"Yes," I groan. "Yes… harder, harder… fuck ."

Andrey doesn't hold back. He doesn't know the meaning of "gentle." He just fucks me as though he's got nothing left to lose.

And I close my eyes and surrender.