27. Barrett

-Die4U- Bring Me the Horizon-

With everything that is going on, sleep seems to escape me. No matter what position I try to lie in to make Grace comfortable, it seems in vain. Grace and the babies are curled up in my nest with me sleeping peacefully for now. I lay here listening to the sounds of them breathing slow and deep. The occasional coo from one of the babies, as well as the soft murmur from Grace to comfort them back to sleep. Grace rolls slightly in her sleep. Every little movement wakes me up all over again. It’s now that I understand why the others have been letting her sleep alone.

Popping one eye open, I look over at the clock on my side table and its one am. Six more hours of possible sleep is all I may get. Tomorrow is going to suck … Carefully, I extract myself from the bed and look over the room and then head into my ensuite bathroom. Running my hand down my face, I look at myself in the mirror. There are bags and dark circles under my bloodshot eyes. My concealer is not going to be strong enough for this in the morning.

Turning away from the mirror, I use the facility and return to the counter to wash my hands in the sink. There’s an icy chill that runs up my spine, and I can’t help the jolt of fear that shoots through me. “Something’s not right. Check the house.” I say through the bond to my alphas. Closing my eyes briefly, I try to will the feeling to disappear. It’s not budging, this can’t be good.

“What do you mean?”Griffin answers, his voice groggy in the bond.

“My Omega senses are tingling, okay? Something isn’t right.”I say, turning the knob to open the bathroom door. I hesitate for a moment. My senses are in overdrive as I try to figure out what’s setting them off. As an Omega, I’m more sensitive to subtle changes. Whatever it is, it’s enough to make me uncomfortable.

As the door opens, the sight of the window open makes me pause in the door frame. It wasn’t open before. The door to my room is also open. It could be a trick. My wolf claws at my insides, trying to tear me apart, wanting to get free. He’s never done that before. I let my wolf take over and when my paws hit the floor; I see what had me on edge.

Standing in the corner is a figure dressed in black, thinking it’s hiding. It stands there like the cliche serial killer in the B movies, thinking the shadows in the corner are a good place to hide. I act like I am going out the bedroom door and out into the hallway. Soon as I’m in the hallway, I pause, turning back to face the door, waiting to hear movement. “Guys, get up here…” The creak of the floorboard near the bed makes me spring into action. My muzzle hits the door, pushing the door open the rest of the way. My claws grip the rug, propelling me across the expanse of the room, and I leap over the bed.

My paws hit the chest of the intruder with such force I knock them back and through the window. We tumble down the roof and the clang of the knife can be heard as they release it to try clawing at my wolf. I know the scent that fills my nostrils. It’s Roxy. She shifts as we roll down the short roof and I feel her teeth grip my hide. She had come in the night to kill Grace and probably the babies.

That thought alone made my wolf take over and push me back. It’s almost like an out-of-body experience watching my wolf go on the attack. I’ve heard of Alphas giving themselves over to their beast like Ethan does. Every bite that Roxy’s wolf lands on my body, I oddly don’t feel. We roll several more times down the hill into the Luna gardens and end up in a patch of rose bushes. My wolf takes advantage of the situation and lunges for Roxy’s throat.

The copper tang of her blood explodes on our tastebuds and it spurns my wolf on. Distant shouts of the alphas and Grace does nothing to stop my wolf from its mission. The pops and tearing of tendons and flesh echoes in my ears as the gasping gurgle escapes through the hole my wolf tore in her throat. Roxy’s attempts at fighting back slowly become weaker until she goes limp in my jaw.

My wolf releases her and shifts us back to human abruptly. I land ass first in a puddle of blood in the yard. I raise my hands up, looking at the crimson ichor on my palms. My hands tremble as I stare at them, then at the corpse of Roxy’s wolf before me. The taste of her blood and fur still lingers in my mouth as I stare at her lifeless form.

Conrad is the first to get to me and he wraps me up in his arms, not caring that I’m covered in blood. “I … I…” My shaking hand points at Roxy. “I… killed her…” Tears roll down my cheeks as I tremble in his arms. I’ve never killed anything in my life. Well, that rabbit as a kid, but that was the first and last thing whose life I took.

“Shh … Tell me what happened.” Conrad helps me stand up and walks me over to the bench where everyone else is waiting for us. He pulls me onto his lap, not caring that I am covered in blood and mud.

“I killed her…” I repeat, not sure what answer they were looking for.

Grace moves to stand before me and places her hands on me and a soft soothing feeling moves through me. I almost instantly relax under her touch. “I had to go to the bathroom, so I climbed out of the nest quietly.” Glancing down, I look down at how my hands envelope Graces. “While in the bathroom, something shifted in the house. I wasn’t sure what.” My eyes dart to my alphas.

“Yes, but you have had these feelings before and they were nothing.” Griffin says as he tilts his head to the side.

“But this time he was right.” Ethan says with a deep growl in his voice.

“I came out of the bathroom and the feeling got worse and my wolf took over.” Squeezing Grace’s hands again, it helps a little, but not enough. Conrad tightens his arms around me, lending me his strength and support. “I acted like we were leaving, and the minute the floorboard near the nest creaked, I came running back in. We leapt and knocked the intruder out the window.” I glance up to the second-floor window we broke and the short roof we rolled down.

“I’m sorry…” Glancing down again, I shiver in Conrad’s arms. “He took over like I was in the passenger seat and he had full control. He’s never done that.” My bottom lip quivers as I relive seeing what my wolf did. The path to the rosebushes is painted vermillion and sprinkled with clumps of hers and my fur. It looks more like a mass murder scene rather than the death of one rogue wolf.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You protected our mate and Luna. You kept Grace and the pups safe, Barrett. Thank you.” Nicolai smiles at me and I nod, accepting his thanks.

Grace releases my hands then walks over and stares down at Roxy, and now that I look at her, I see scars littering her body. They weren’t there before. Apparently, she has gotten into a few fights since she went rogue. “This was probably a suicide mission she was sent on.” Grace says, still walking around Roxy, looking her corpse over.

“Gracie, you should rest.” Griffin comes over and wraps an arm around her.

“No, I’m not leaving Barrett. He needs us. Everyone in the nest.” Grace’s voice is steady but I see the tears riming her eyes. She steps away from everyone and heads inside.

Guilt is tearing my insides apart. I killed someone.

“Come inside Barrett.” Ethan beckons me to follow him.

“I need a few moments … I’ll be in soon.” I slide off Conrads lap and watch him join the others as they head inside and I stare out over the garden. For a few moments, I sit alone on the cold stone bench, my face buried in my trembling hands. My heart still pounding like a relentless drumbeat, and the garden seems to echo with the weight of what I had done.

I’ve never been that consumed by anger, frustration, and desperation, and in a moment of blind rage, I lashed out and killed Roxy defending Grace and the pups. Tears well up in my eyes as I replay the scene in my mind. The shock in Roxy’s eyes didn’t phase my wolf as we threw ourselves and her out the window. We had to get her as far away from Grace as possible.

Guilt gnaws at me from the inside, a relentless, suffocating presence that threatens to engulf me entirely. I wish for a way to turn back time, to just hold Roxy off long enough for one of my alphas to finish her instead of me. But time, remorselessly, moves forward, carrying me further away from when I could have chosen differently.I know that there is no escaping the consequences of my actions. The guilt I’m feeling is a testament to what’s left of my humanity.

With her being a rogue and among those that are trying to kill our mate, I may escape being punished. It’s not my job to fight. I’m supposed to be the sweet one, the one that comforts everyone. I shake my head and head inside, trying to escape the never-ending loop of doom in my head. No matter how I try to reframe it in my mind, it’s not helping.

Pushing the back door open, I step into the kitchen and walk through the house. Right now, I don’t care about the muddy footprints I’m leaving behind. Every step feels like my feet have turned to lead, making climbing the stairs harder. I make it to the bathroom in the hallway and open the door. Flicking on the lights, I am greeted with features I don’t recognize as my own. I’m covered in blood and mud and fur that isn’t mine. My soul feels hollow as I stare into once vibrant eyes.

The gold flecks in my hazel eyes are dull, as if someone has sucked the life out of them. Remorse and regret weigh heavy on my heart as I try to look at myself. I saved Grace. I should be happy. Shaking my head, I reach into the shower and turn on the water. I watch the droplets fall from the shower head, watching the water circle the drain.

The click of the door opening makes me turn my head to look back and see Conrad standing there. “Get in. I’ll help you.” His strong fingers go to the hem of his tee-shirt and he pulls it up over the taunt lines of his toned body. He finishes stripping in record time and the shuffles me into the shower stall. I stare down at the water as it runs off my body and down the drain. The mix of brown and crimson made the images of the evening replay in my mind.

“Make me forget, Con…” I whine and lower my head as my forearms rest against the cool tiles of the shower.

“Are you sure?” His voice wavers, obviously not sure if what I’m asking for is actually for the best.

“Yes.. Please…” I whine, stretching the word please out and I hear the pop of a top. Glancing over my shoulder, I see he found the lube we keep in the shower for just these kinds of situations. Shower sex happens more often than not with three alphas in the house. Apparently, me in the shower is a homing beacon for alpha dick.

Conrad massages my lower back and my ass before he dribbles the lube between my ass cheeks. His long, strong finger finds its way into me and loosens me up. Only Conrad knows how to make love to his omega. As much as I love Ethan and Griffin, they love a rough fast fuck. Conrad takes his time with me. I feel the love in his every touch.

He moves my body how he needs me and slowly slips himself deep within me. The warmth of his cock and the feel of it slipping in and out electrifies every inch of my body. He does something a little different this time. He reaches around front and grips my cock hard. His thrusts are short and deep as his hand works my length mercilessly. His mouth finds my shoulder over where he had bitten me once before.

His teeth break through my skin, and I cum hard. Conrad keeps his focus on fucking me and jerking me off at the same time. My orgasm seems to go on forever. Just when I feel like it’s finally stopping, Conrad sinks his knot in my ass and I cum again. Panting hard, I press my forehead against the cool tiles, trembling through every pulse of pleasure rocketing through me.

Conrad eventually releases my shoulder and licks the wound. His hands slowly slide down my ribs, helping me come down from the euphoric high he had taken me to. I hear the squirt of a bottle, then the feel of the soft washcloth on my body. He washes every inch of me he can while we are locked together. “I will aways take care of you.” He whispers next to my ear as he reaches around and washes my chest and neck.

We spend the next hour washing each other and sharing the confined space of the shower stall. Only Conrad knows how to make my anxiety and pain melt away. We don’t return to the nest with the others. Instead, we curled up in Conrad’s bed, my head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me.