28. Nik

Istumble back from my midnight sprint, laden with the burden of sorrow and desire, fear and regret. The suffocating weight threatens to consume me as I struggle to keep moving forward. These past few weeks without Sam have been pure, unadulterated hell. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve dialed her number, my finger hovering over the call button, only to hang up before it even rings. I’ve even contemplated sneaking into the Ursa King’s lair, consequences be damned, just to catch a glimpse of her face.

Oh gods. This is torture.

I’ve tried to channel my pain into late-night jogs and early morning gym sessions, pushing my body to the brink of exhaustion in a desperate attempt to dull the ache in my soul. But nothing helps. Nothing eases the gaping hole in my chest where Sam used to be.

And tonight, when I had the chance to see her again at the Deveraux’s Yule soiree, I forced myself to stay away. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed, every shred of self-control, but I knew that if I laid eyes on my goddess, any restraint I’ve managed to build up would shatter like glass.

It’s for the best,I tell myself, even as my heart screams in protest. Whenever doubt creeps in, whenever I find myself wavering, I just think back to what happened in Brittany, to the terror and pain I saw in Sam’s eyes. I never want to hurt her again.

I lean against the kitchen counter, the cool marble pressing into my skin as I catch my breath. The house is quiet, still, a far cry from the chaos that usually reigns within these walls. It’s a welcome respite, a moment of peace amidst the storm of my own emotions.

But the silence is short-lived. The rumble of engines shatters the tranquility, the sound growing louder, closer, until it’s a roar that echoes through the halls. I push off from the counter, my brow furrowing as I make my way to the window, the water bottle dangling forgotten from my fingertips.

Outside, a convoy of black SUVs tears up the driveway, gravel spraying in their wake. They screech to a halt, the doors flying open before the vehicles have fully stopped. And then Bram is there, erupting from the lead car like a man possessed.

My heart pounds in my chest as I watch him, my mind racing with the implications of his arrival. I know I should tell him the truth, should confess to the secret that’s been eating away at me for days now. But the words stick in my throat, trapped behind the wall of fear and doubt that rises up to choke me. How can I possibly explain what I’ve become, the beast that lurks beneath my skin, waiting to be unleashed? Will he understand, or will he see me as a monster, a threat to be eliminated?

He moves with a tangible fury, his face twisted into a snarl, his eyes wild and blazing. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t acknowledge the startled looks of the staff as he storms past them, his steps heavy and purposeful as he barrels towards the living room.

I’m moving before I realize it, the water bottle slipping from my grasp and hitting the floor with a dull thud. I don’t stop to pick it up. Don’t pause to consider the consequences of confronting Bram in this state.

All I know is that something is wrong. Something has happened to put that look on my brother’s face. And whatever it is, I need to find out, need to be there to pick up the pieces and try to hold our fractured family together.

So I go after him, my steps quick and urgent, my heart hammering in my chest as I brace myself for the storm I know is coming. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that when Bram is on the warpath, no one is safe. And tonight, I have a feeling that the fallout will be worse than anything we’ve ever faced before.

“Had a good time at Deveraux Manor?” I ask, raising an eyebrow as I take in his agitated state.

Bram tosses his jacket onto the couch, then makes a beeline for the wine cabinet. “Quite the contrary,” he mutters, pouring himself a generous glass of whiskey. “You’ll be so glad you didn’t come.” He knocks back the entire drink in one gulp, his throat working as he swallows.

“Oh?” I move closer, my interest piqued. “How come?”

“That warlock beast, Gavriil... He had the audacity to brand Cassandra.” Bram growls, refilling his glass with a shaking hand. “I knew it. I knew he’d sneak into the Deveraux lineage. Gods, I can’t stand the fucking bear! Oh, but I’ll show him.”

A deep frown creases my brow, worry settling like a lead weight in my gut. “Bram, you need to think this through...” I caution, raising a hand in a placating gesture.

But my brother is beyond reason, his temper flaring like a match to kindling. He slams his glass down on the cabinet, his eyes blazing with barely contained rage as they lock onto mine. “I’m going to take my clan to his doorstep and wipe out the entire Alexeev lineage if I have to,” he hisses through clenched teeth, “but I will not let this pass!”

Bram strides over to his desk, his movements sharp and jerky, his breath coming in short, harsh pants. He yanks open the top drawer, rummaging through the contents with a ferocity that borders on madness. And then I see it, the glint of metal, the unmistakable shape of a gun.

My blood runs cold, my heart stuttering in my chest as Bram snatches up the weapon, his fingers curling around the grip with a familiarity that terrifies me. “My magic may not be as strong as the great Ursa King’s…” He checks the chamber, the click of the bullets echoing in the sudden silence. “But I’d love to see him dodge one of these.” And then he’s shoving the gun into his waistband, the bulge of it barely noticeable beneath his tailored shirt.

He turns back to me, his eyes glittering with a dangerous light, a smile that’s more of a grimace stretching his lips. “What, now? You gonna try to stop me, little brother?” he taunts, his voice low and mocking. “You gonna stand in my way?”

My jaw clenches, my hands curling into fists at my sides. I know I should back down, should try to diffuse the situation before it escalates any further. But the rage that’s been simmering inside me for weeks, the frustration and the pain and the goddamn helplessness, it all boils over in that moment, exploding out of me in a torrent of fury.

“Bram!” I roar, my own anger surging to the surface, hot and molten. “Enough with this foolishness!”

My brother’s jaw goes slack, shock and disbelief etched into every line of his face. For a moment, he just stares at me, his eyes wide and unseeing, as if he can’t quite believe the words that just came out of my mouth.

But then, with a suddenness that startles me, he’s moving, closing the distance between us in two quick strides. His hand shoots out, grabbing the front of my shirt and yanking me forward until our faces are mere inches apart.

“What did you just say to me?” he hisses, his breath hot against my skin, the stench of whiskey heavy in the air.

I swallow hard, my heart pounding in my ears, but I refuse to back down. “You heard me,” I manage, my voice steady despite the fury that claws at my insides. “This is insane, Bram. You can’t just go off half-cocked, guns blazing, and expect everything to work out. You’ll get yourself killed, or worse.”

And then, just as quickly as it began, Bram releases his grip on my shirt, shoving me away with an unmistakable air of revulsion.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like this... I’m the Draken Heir!” Bram’s fist swings high, aiming for my face, but I’m faster. I seize his wrist in an iron grip, pushing him back with a force that sends him flying across the room. He slams into the wall with a sickening thud, his body crumpling to the floor in a heap.

For a moment, we both freeze, stunned by the turn of events. But as I stand there, my chest heaving with exertion and barely contained rage, I realize that I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m done tolerating Bram’s childish tantrums, and I refuse to sit back and watch as he sullies our family’s reputation.

Each breath sears my lungs, my heart pounding a furious rhythm against my ribs. Waves of heat wash over me, prickling my skin and blurring my vision.

Bram scrambles to his feet, his expression morphing from shock and anger to pure, unadulterated dread. I don’t know what he sees when he looks at me, but I can hazard a guess.

He stumbles back, retreating through the sliding doors and onto the terrace. I follow, my steps measured and deliberate, my anger simmering just beneath the surface.

“Ever since you became the head of this family, I’ve seen you do nothing but put our bloodline to shame,” I begin, my voice low and deadly. Bram backs away, his feet carrying him down the steps and onto the vast expanse of the lawn. “You drink and go to lavish parties. You spend our inheritance as if it were everlasting. I have watched you waste and plunder our family’s assets, while successfully dragging our household name through the mud...”

I blink, trying to clear the haze from my vision, but it only grows thicker, more opaque. Still, I push forward, joining my brother in the courtyard, my anger propelling me onward.

“You almost got yourself killed by the Ursa King on a foolish whim!” I snarl, my breaths coming hard and fast. “I’ve had enough of this, Bram. You’re stepping down. Do you hear me?”

Bram’s face drains of color, but he manages to force out a defiant reply. “I will do no—such—thing.”

Slowly, deliberately, I tilt my head to the side, my eyes narrowing to slits. “I don’t think you understand. I’m not giving you a choice here.”

Another wave of heat crashes over me, searing my veins and setting my nerves alight. Bram’s eyes widen in horror, his mouth falling open in a silent scream. “W—What’s happening to you?” he stammers, his voice thin and reedy with fear.

I glance down at my hands, my breath catching in my throat as I see the skin glowing red, the light pulsing from within like a living thing. Before my eyes, my fingernails elongate into razor-sharp talons, my flesh hardening and layering with glimmering golden scales.

I’m shifting. Again. So fucking soon. Sam said it wouldn’t happen for a long while, but this... this is different. This time, I’m fully aware of the change, my mind clear and focused even as my body transforms.

I feel the eyes of the clan upon me, hundreds of faces peering down from the terrace, watching in awe and terror as I shed my human skin and become something... other.

Moonlight spills over me, casting my dragon’s shadow across the lawn, engulfing Bram’s cowering form. Darkness threatens to swallow me whole, to drag me down into the depths of my beast’s consciousness, but I fight it, clinging to my sense of self with every ounce of strength I possess.

My dragon is restless, eager to assert its dominance, to unleash its fury upon the world. And for once, I let it, taking a backseat as the beast surges to the forefront of my mind.

A rumbling growl builds in my throat, a roar that shakes the very foundations of the earth. It’s a declaration of strength, of power, a warning to all who would dare to challenge me.

I slam my foot down, and the ground trembles beneath me, cracks spiderwebbing out from the point of impact.

That’s enough,I tell the beast, struggling to regain control, to pull myself back from the brink. Go to sleep now.

But the dragon fights me, screeching its defiance, its hunger for destruction. Fire builds in my throat, searing hot and deadly, and for a terrifying moment, I’m sure I’m going to lose control, going to incinerate everything and everyone in my path.

No, no...! I growl, wrestling with the beast inside me. Don’t do it! I wrench my head back, and flames erupt from my jaws, shooting upwards into the night sky in a blistering column of heat and light.

Screams of horror rise from the grounds, the clan scattering like frightened rabbits before a predator.

I said...I roar, my voice thundering through my mind. Go to sleep!

At last, the dragon relents, its presence diminishing as I assert my will, my dominance. The fire in my veins recedes, the scales fading back into smooth, human skin.

Cold washes over me, and I feel lighter, as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. My knees buckle, and I sink to the ground, my breaths coming in ragged gasps.

When I open my eyes, I’m myself again, my shadow no more than that of a man. A long, shuddering sigh escapes my lips, exhaustion seeping into my bones. But even through the fatigue, I feel a flicker of triumph, of pride.

I did it. I controlled the shift, bent the beast to my will. Sam was right—it does get easier with time.

Slowly, painfully, I drag myself to my feet, my eyes seeking out Bram’s face in the crowd. He stands frozen at the base of the stairs, his expression a mask of unmitigated horror.

Silence hangs heavy in the air, thick and oppressive. I’m the one to break it, my voice ringing out clear and strong. “You will step down as head of the Draken clan, brother. I’m taking care of the family affairs from now on.”

With that, I make my way back to the house, my chest heaving with the effort of each breath. Gods, I need to lie down, to rest, to process the enormity of what just happened.

But Bram’s voice stops me in my tracks, cold and bitter as a winter wind. “Do you want to know why I got rid of you when you were a child?”

I glance back, confusion furrowing my brow. “You wanted me to go to school, to procure my education...” I manage, the words feeling hollow and inadequate.

“No. It was never that.” Bram slips his hands into his pockets, his expression hardening into a mask of cruelty. “I would not share a roof with my parents’ killer.”

The words hit me like a physical blow, snapping my head back as if he’d struck me. “What are you saying?” I breathe, my voice barely more than a whisper.

Bram steps forward, emboldened by my shock, my pain. “I’m saying exactly that. You killed our parents.”

Anger surges through me, white-hot and blinding. “You’re drunk,” I snarl, turning away, desperate to escape the venom dripping from his tongue.

“You don’t remember, do you?” he taunts, his voice following me up the steps, burrowing into my brain like a parasite. “It didn’t come to you? Not even when you were in the beach house?” A pause, heavy with malice. “Oh, you loved playing with fire, Niky. Always experimenting, wielding the flames... That night, you started one. It got out of control and took our parents’ lives.”

My throat constricts, my vision blurring with unshed tears. “No...” I choke out, the word barely more than a broken whisper.

“The fire came from you,” Bram continues, relentless, merciless. “Embers set off from your hands and brought us nothing but tragedy and ruin.” He shakes his head, a mocking smile twisting his lips. “I knew then you’d be nothing but trouble. And I was right... You’re a fucking monster.”

Tears spill down my cheeks, hot and scalding. “You’re lying,” I manage, my voice breaking on the last word.

“Am I, Niky?” Bram raises an eyebrow, his expression one of cruel indolence. “Well... I guess you’ll never know.”

With that, he brushes past me, striding into the house with the self-satisfied air of a man who knows he’s won.

I stand there, frozen, my mind reeling with the implications of his words. It can’t be true. It’s impossible. I would never... I could never...

But even as I try to deny it, even as I cling to the fragile hope that Bram is lying, a terrible certainty settles in the pit of my stomach.

I killed my parents.

The knowledge crashes over me like a tidal wave, dragging me under, drowning me in a sea of grief and guilt and self-loathing.

A roar of anguish tears from my throat, raw and primal, a sound of pure, unbridled agony. And as I sink to my knees on the cold, hard ground, I feel something inside me shatter, something vital and irreplaceable.

Because if Bram is telling the truth, if I’m really the one responsible for the death of the two people I loved most in this world... Then maybe I am a monster, after all.

And maybe I deserve to be alone, to live with the weight of my sins for the rest of my miserable life.

Maybe losing Sam, losing everything that ever mattered to me...

Maybe it’s no more than I deserve.