19. Nik

Ican all but feel the color draining from my face, my expression slackening as the full weight of Sam’s words hits me like a physical blow.

Fuck.

My world is shattering, the ground crumbling beneath my feet. Sam doesn’t tiptoe around the issue, her words ruthless and uncompromising, spoken with the sheer conviction that only the fiercest of witches can muster.

The worst part is, it makes sense. I’ve heard about the symptoms that precede the first shift in wolves and bears, the signs that herald the awakening of their inner beasts. Why would a dragon’s be any different? My recent headaches, the dizziness, the blurred vision... it all adds up, clicking into place like the pieces of a horrifying puzzle. And above all else, I trust Samara’s judgment, her skill as a witch beyond reproach.

The realization hits me hard, a tidal wave of fear and desperation crashing over me. Just moments ago, as we lay tangled in the aftermath of our lovemaking, I thought I’d known true fear for the first time. The words had been there, on the tip of my tongue, three simple syllables that held the power to change everything between us: I love you.

But I swallowed them back, too frightened of scaring her away, of losing the precious connection we have forged. I had thought that nothing could be more terrifying than the prospect of baring my soul to her, of laying my heart at her feet and praying that she would cherish it.

I was wrong.

Because now, faced with the possibility of shifting into a dragon, of becoming a creature of myth and legend, my earlier fears seem laughably trivial. But it’s not my own safety that concerns me, not my own well-being that sends icy tendrils of dread curling through my veins.

No, it’s the thought of hurting Sam, of losing control and becoming a danger to the woman I love... that’s the true nightmare made real. The idea of my claws rending her flesh, my fangs sinking into her soft skin... it’s enough to make me want to howl with despair, to fall to my knees and beg whatever gods might be listening to spare her from my own monstrosity.

I’d been afraid to tell her I loved her, afraid that three little words might shatter the delicate balance between us. But now, I would give anything to go back to that moment, to hold her in my arms and whisper my devotion against her skin, to make sure she knows the depth and breadth of my feelings for her.

Because if tomorrow brings the horror that Sam predicts, if I do shift into a creature of smoke and flame and fury... everything will change. This isn’t an ordinary wolf or a bear we’re talking about, but a true firebreather as the world has not seen in centuries.

I must protect her—from myself.

The thought is a blade to the heart, a pain so sharp and acute that it steals my breath and brings hot tears to my eyes. Because I can’t lose her, can’t bear the thought of a world without her in it. In just a few short weeks, she’s become everything to me—my reason for being, the guiding light that leads me home.

And still, I’m not willing to risk her life so recklessly. Not on a whim of selfishness. So I cling to her now, my arms banded tight around her waist, my face buried in the crook of her neck as I breathe in the sweet, familiar scent of her. I let her love wash over me, let it soothe the jagged edges of my fear.

My gaze cuts to her, my heart clenching at the sight of her beautiful face, the concern and love that shines in her eyes. “You gotta go,” I tell her, the words tearing at my throat, my soul. But there’s no way around this, no other choice to make. Not now.

Sam jumps to her knees on the bed, her brow furrowing in a fierce scowl. “What did you say?” she demands, glaring at me with a mix of hurt and indignation. She’s a feisty little bear, my little bear, and the thought of pushing her away is like a knife to the heart.

“No!” She pouts, slipping into her oversized pajama top with jerky, agitated movements. “Nik, I’m not leaving you alone!”

My breath catches in my throat, my lungs constricting with the force of my fear. “If I...” I stop, forcing myself to make peace with this shattering truth, to accept the inevitable. “When I shift into a dragon, I don’t think I’ll know who you are.” The words are like ashes on my tongue, bitter and choking. The thought of losing myself, of becoming a mindless beast with no memory of the woman I adore... it makes me shudder with revulsion and terror.

Sam bites her lower lip, her gaze drifting as she considers my words. “Yeah, that might happen...” she admits softly, her voice tinged with a sadness that breaks my heart. “It takes time for a shifter to tame its beast.” But then she’s facing me again, her eyes alight with a fierce determination that takes my breath away. “I won’t leave you.”

Tears rim my eyes, fear and anxiety warring in my chest until I feel like I can’t breathe, can’t think beyond the panic that claws at my mind. It’s too much, too fast, and I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of my own helplessness.

“Sam...” I choke out, my lips pursing as I drop to my knees, burying my face in my hands. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I weep, hot tears spilling down my cheeks as sobs wrack my body.

And then she’s there, her delicate hands smoothing over my jawline, her touch a balm to my battered soul. She kneels before me, her eyes searching mine until our gazes lock, hers full of unwavering resolve and undiluted love, mine brimming with dread and uncertainty.

“I’m here, Nik...” she whispers, her voice a lifeline in the darkness. “I’m not going anywhere.”

On an impulse born of desperation and love, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to me, burying my face in the crook of her shoulder. Her fingers glide through my hair, her touch soothing and gentle as she draws me closer, peppering my cheeks, my nose, my lips with soft kisses that chase away the shadows of my fear.

This is a first for me—this vulnerability, this openness. I’ve never let anyone see me like this, never allowed myself to be weak or afraid in front of another person. But with Sam, it feels right, feels safe in a way that I’ve never known before.

For once, I don’t feel alone. I feel loved, cherished, accepted for all that I am and all that I may become. And as I cling to her, my face wet with tears and my heart full to bursting, I know that whatever tomorrow brings, whatever challenges we may face, we’ll face them together.

Because that’s what love is, in the end. It’s the willingness to stand by someone’s side, to weather the storms and face the darkness, no matter what. And as I hold Sam in my arms, I know that I’ve found that kind of love, the kind that lasts a lifetime.

Come what may, we’ll find a way through this.