34. Chapter 34

34

R ebecca’s gut clenched at the thought of carrying out Aldous’s old job, in Aldous’s old office on the second story overlooking the common room. Then came the churn of nausea and a ringing in her ears that bordered on a splitting headache.

This wasn’t what she wanted.

How the hell had things gotten this out of hand already?

She didn’t have to like her new circumstances, but at this point, she was in no position to argue with anyone about anything. The only thing she could control was how to pick her battles, simply because the majority of them were now battles she couldn’t fight on her own and definitely couldn’t win.

Not in this state.

With a sigh, she nodded at the old healer but paused when they reached the base of the stairs. She tried to make it look like she was busy thinking, but mostly, she couldn’t quite wrap her head around the fact that Zida—and everyone else, most likely—truly expected her to climb that staircase just to get to Aldous’s office.

No, Rebecca’s office now.

That would take some serious getting used to.

When Zida realized she wouldn’t be able to keep tugging the elf up the stairs, she stopped and clicked her tongue. “What is it now?”

Rebecca glared at the staircase. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“Well, there’s the spirit. You know what? You stay here. I’ll go tell everyone that the elf they all just pledged themselves to doesn’t think she can do this. It’ll be fine, I’m sure. No complications at all.”

Glaring at the healer seemed to take all the energy out of Rebecca, and she hadn’t even started to climb the stairs yet. “Any suggestions, then? At this point, I’m wide open.”

“Yeah, actually.” Zida grunted. “I’ve got just the thing. ”

She released Rebecca’s arm long enough to plunge both hands into the overstuffed fanny pack around her waist, rooted around in there for another ten seconds that felt like a lifetime, then finally removed her hands and produced a clear glass vial that looked like it had absolutely nothing in it. “I do have this . And I believe the two of you are already well acquainted.”

Rebecca gawked at the empty vial. “Is that the same—”

“Yep.”

“And you want me to just—”

“ Yep .”

“Forget it.” With a grunt of her own, Rebecca took her first step up the stairs but couldn’t go any farther because the old healer still had a grip on her arm; she clearly wasn’t letting up anytime soon.

Rebecca wouldn’t regain all her strength in the next two seconds, either, so they were at an impasse.

“You can’t just forget about it , elf. We already know this shit works. It works especially well for you, ancestors only know why. And as your resident healer, I’m gonna go ahead and order it as your current recovery regimen.”

“You couldn’t even tell me what it’s made of,” Rebecca muttered. “And now you’re trying to get me hooked on some special go-juice you can’t tell me anything about.”

“No, of course not.” Zida scoffed. “Honestly, I have no idea if it’s addictive or what the long-term side effects might be. But it’s the only option you have right now. Listen, they might look like they’re totally thrilled, like it’s all fun and games in there, but the next few days of this are crucial, all right?

“If you’re gonna survive this with a better outcome than Aldous had, you have to oversee the comings and goings in this place like a competent commander. Especially on your first day. Unless, of course, you wanna set a precedent for falling asleep on the job. I guess technically, it’s not as bad as almost getting everyone killed… ”

“Dammit, okay,” Rebecca snapped. “Fine. Just…stop talking.”

“As long as you stop arguing with the expert.” Zida tittered. “Which in this scenario would be me, in case you were feeling a little confused. So how about it?”

Rebecca eyed the vial again, then reached achingly toward it, her hand already shaking again.

Zida whisked the thing out of her grip at the last second and leaned toward her. “One more quick word of warning, elf. This stuff doesn’t have what you might call a stacking effect. It’s more like a shovel, really.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning the more of this you take, the deeper the hole you’re digging for yourself.”

“Noted.” Rebecca reached for the vial again, and this time, the healer opened her clawed hand and let Rebecca take it.

This was only a temporary fix. She could deal with that.

Right now, accepting the long-term side effects was an easier pill to swallow than suffering more immediate consequences of not taking the risk. Once she could clearly think again, she could form a better plan for a long-term cure.

Zida had to help her remove the vial’s stopper this time too, but then Rebecca took her second dose and felt like she’d just inhaled part of the sun.

T hey finally reached the second story, though now Rebecca felt like she could have flown up the stairwell. Zida still hovered at her side, though, most likely to keep an eye on her.

But nothing terrible was going to happen now.

Not after another little whiff of that magic air in a bottle.

Rebecca had to focus on one thing at a time, and right now, the present was all she could handle.

She stood in front of the door to what had once been Aldous’s office but was now hers. Then she snorted at herself and lowered her fist poised in front of the wood.

No more knocking for her. Not here.

She twisted the handle instead, and the door swung open to welcome her to her new base of operations.

Rebecca grimaced, her nostrils flaring as she took in the enormous desk in the center of the room, piled high with various computer monitors meant to keep tabs on literally everyone inside the compound at all times—as long as they weren’t in the privacy of their rooms.

The bookshelves against the right-hand wall had been emptied, as if in anger, all the books and notebooks having been swept from their places to lie in scattered piles on the floor.

Worst of all was that fucking green leather armchair Aldous had used as a throne .

It still faced the enormous window on the opposite side of the office, overlooking the common room. If someone had rifled through Aldous’s things, they’d left that chair and the space around it alone.

She couldn’t help but think of the last time she’d stepped foot in this office and Aldous had made his unwanted advances before flying into an infantile rage when she’d said no.

“I don’t want anything to do with this place,” she muttered.

“Just one of the many things you don’t get to choose,” Zida said as she hobbled past Rebecca into the room. “I suggest you get used to that pretty damn quickly.”

Pulling the door shut behind her, Rebecca took her time perusing the remnants of what had once been Aldous Corriger’s adulterated throne room.

The rest of this stuff could be repurposed, handed out to various Shade teams or Maxwell’s security unit, but that armchair?

As soon as she had a bit of free time to herself, that armchair would be the first thing to go.

“Not too shabby, eh?” Zida hobbled in a slow circle, peering up at the corners of the room as if it had particularly valuable or interesting molding or frescoed paintings along the walls.

“It’s not the worst place I’ve stepped into,” Rebecca muttered. “But if I make a few changes, I can probably get it to feel more like home.”

The healer shot her a sidelong glance and snorted. “More like home? You’re gonna have to go a lot further than redecorating this shitty office to make it feel like home for an elf.”

Rebecca stopped walking and turned to fix the daraku with a deadpan stare. “I thought you wanted me to find some kinda silver lining, here.”

“And I commend your efforts, really.” Zida clapped her clawed and gnarled hands with less than appropriate enthusiasm. “They’ll be coming up here any minute, so the only real order of business we have to get in the bag first is to make sure you’re sitting in that chair. And that you can keep your eyes open and at least appear lucid while your organization steps in to swear fealty and start making requests.”

“Requests?” Rebecca’s face pinched, and she couldn’t even tell what kind of expression it formed. “No one said anything about taking requests.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to fulfill them. But you gotta listen to them. That’s part of the deal.”

Rolling her eyes, Rebecca headed toward the tall straight back of the green leather armchair looking out over the entire common room. The idea of sitting in this thing, beyond the fact that Aldous had been sitting in it for years, rubbed her entirely the wrong way .

She’d done everything in her power for over a century to specifically keep herself out of a chair like this—or a throne. This was the last thing she wanted.

Out of all the things she didn’t want, this was also the easiest to deal with, once she finally decided to suck it up and play along until a better plan and a better opportunity presented themselves.

Right now, she had to pick her poison, choosing the best of two horrible choices until she either found or manufactured a better one.

At least she had plenty of practice with that already.

“We’re running out of time here,” Zida reminded her.

“Fine.” Wondering exactly how much longer this next little blast of invisible-energy potion would sustain her this time, Rebecca hurried across the office toward the armchair. “I’ll sit in the fucking chair.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

But Rebecca refused to keep it facing the protruding windows overlooking the common room. She gripped the top corner of the chair’s back with both hands and turned the chair so it faced the office door.

The air filled with a mind-numbing screech of those old sturdy legs scooting across a poorly laid wooden floor that probably hadn’t been updated or renovated since Shade had taken over this old factory.

Zida hunched farther into her already hunched shoulders, scrunching up her face in a wrinkled wince as she glared at Rebecca’s first official act of redecorating. When the chair stopped squealing, she thrust a pinky into her enormous ear and wiggled it around. “You’re doing that on purpose.”

“I’m doing what has to be done,” Rebecca said. “And if this is it, fine.”

She braced herself for discomfort and dizziness before lowering herself into the armchair, but neither appeared. So she dropped the rest of the way, leaned back like she’d just sat in a patio lounger instead, and crossed one leg over the other. “Before they show up and we get this thing started, I just have one question for you.”

“Well it’s never just one .” Zida waved a dismissive hand and shuffled across the office to grab a small, round stool on wheels before she squatted onto it. Her old bones creaked more than the furniture. “But we might as well get it over with now. Go ahead.”

Rebecca propped an elbow on the armrest and tilted her head to rest her fingers beneath her chin, “I just wanna know if you had anything to do with this huur-akíl business.”

Zida smiled, revealing her gummy grin with only a few razor-sharp teeth left inside her skull. “I’m just the one who picks up the pieces afterward. The rest of this you did all on your own. ”

The question now was whether or not Rebecca would get the kind of help she needed to keep her from ruining everything.

She still didn’t know if she could trust Zida beyond the old healer’s attempts to fix her, but she didn’t have anyone else.

She didn’t know if she could trust anyone . And exactly what kind of leader did that make her?