12. Chapter 12

12

N arrowing her eyes, Rebecca clenched her jaws and scanned the room. She could almost smell the fear and hesitation thickening the air. If no one spoke up soon, she’d have to make the decision herself.

And that would expose more than she was willing to risk.

No one moved.

No one said a thing.

Even the whispered conversations had died down into an awkwardly flaccid stillness.

Talk about anticlimactic. What the fuck was taking them so long?

The thickening silence started to make her itch.

Rebecca’s eyelid twitched before she took another investigative pass across the faces of one Shade member after another.

Someone had to voice their next steps. Someone had to say out loud what everybody already knew needed to be done.

If it didn’t happen in the next few seconds, Rebecca didn’t think she could stick to her own rules about not opening her damn mouth, just because she couldn’t stand to see this spark of rebellion fizzle out so close to the end.

“We need a better option,” Leonard said as he resumed his slow perusal of the crowd facing him. “We have to take action . So whatever you guys are thinking, throw it out there now. Whatever sticks, sticks. Then we’ll see what we can do about it. I’m all ears.”

Rebecca fought the urge to smack her own forehead in exasperation.

The mage had had it. He had everyone’s attention. He clearly had everyone’s trust. No, Leonard wouldn’t have originally been the obvious choice for new leadership, but come on .

How did he not recognize this was his moment?

Someone cleared their throat. “We start by getting Aldous out of the captain’s chair and into something else! ”

Rebecca peered through the gathering, trying to find who had spoken. She didn’t recognize the voice, but then it was too late to try.

Now that the seal on their silence had been broken, everyone else started chiming in too.

“We could talk to him. Nothing like straight-up honesty when it counts, right?”

“Yeah, because that’s worked out so well every other time anyone else tried it…”

“A petition! This kinda thing normally works with shit like that, right? We draw up a petition, sign it, send it up the chain—”

“Man, Aldous is the chain. And who the fuck would we send it to for signatures?”

“Heads of the old-world families might do the trick. Sounds archaic, sure. Like something humans have been doing forever. But Aldous still has friends in those circles.”

“So…what? We ingratiate ourselves with the assholes already pulling his strings? Pump out a few more jobs outside Chicago, make ourselves invaluable, and say we’re available for hire?”

“Can’t do that if Aldous is still running the show. First, he’s gotta be…you know. Moved on to something else—”

“Oh, great. You’d have us go straight for mercenary work…”

“Open your eyes, brother. Aldous already made us mercenaries. Only we ain’t gettin’ paid shit and he just keeps all the good stuff for himself!”

The arguments and randomly tossed suggestions seemed never-ending.

Rebecca used all her willpower, every trick she’d learned over the centuries, to stay quiet about it. She gritted her teeth and clenched her eyes shut, pressing her knuckles against her lips to keep it all bottled up.

What was wrong with these people?

In under five minutes, Shade’s gathered rebels had touched on literally every possibility and available option except the one perfect solution that would fix their biggest problem forever.

Were they really this ignorant? Or was everybody just too chickenshit to say it out loud?

If the discussion continued like this with no real solution, this entire meeting would end up being nothing but a waste of all their time.

Including Rebecca’s.

And in the scheme of things, Rebecca really didn’t have any time to waste.

The more they stood around at the back of the library bullshitting each other about what really had to be done, the higher they risked everything .

Aldous discovering the brewing rebellion beneath his nose. Enemies closing in on Shade from all sides.

Rebecca’s worst and most powerful enemies lurking through the shadows, inching closer and closer while she stood here trying not to spoon-feed the answer to a bunch of jaded magicals who should’ve known better by now.

Beyond that, she’d only come to the library to start researching supporting evidence to prove the Darkspawn’s existence in Chicago in the first place. What would she have to sacrifice for that suicide mission if Aldous didn’t get exactly what was coming to him?

“Maybe some kind of anonymous warning,” a gnome cried out, continuing the explosion of half-cocked ideas thrown around like confetti at a birthday party.

“Screw anonymous! Aldous won’t give a shit if he doesn’t know who it’s coming from.”

“Well, he can’t know it’s coming from us .”

“Duh.”

“Give him an ultimatum! If he doesn’t start some serious improvements, there’ll be…consequences.”

“Yeah? Like what? You think you’re gonna be the consequence?”

“Don’t be an idiot. I’m just saying we need shit to get better—”

“It’s not enough!” Nyx shouted at the top of her lungs. “No matter what we do or what he says, it’ll never just get better !”

Those standing closest to her shuffled away, elbowing their neighbors to make more room for themselves while violet sparks flared around the katari’s body and her tiny fists trembled at her sides.

Then she froze, her awareness finally catching up to her outburst, and Nyx blinked furiously before lowering her voice and finishing with the best suggestion so far. “We have to go big.”

Finally.

Rebecca could have cheered the katari, but she didn’t want to interrupt Nyx’s momentum.

“Sounds like you’ve been thinking this way for a while,” Diego replied.

When Nyx found the Cruorcian’s face among the crowd, she nodded. “It’s been a long time coming. We all know that. And I don’t think I’ve been more sure of anything in my life. If we let Aldous stay where we is, if we don’t do something massive to change the direction we’re headed, Shade’s fucked. And we all know it.”

The self-conscious silence rising from everyone present added an extra weight of reflection, frustration, and resentment to the already rising tension.

Rebecca puffed out a sigh .

If this turned into a pity party, she couldn’t stay for the rest of it.

Leonard shuffled uncomfortably in the center of the circle, casting dubious looks at other members seemingly at random, then smacked his lips and muttered, “Where are you going with this, Nyx?”

The katari gawked at him, her violet eyes wide before she folded her arms. The deeper violet light sparking behind her eyes now warned of a dangerous spike in her magic and her anger if the mage didn’t choose his next words carefully. “You know exactly where I’m going with it.”

“Sure. Maybe.” He shrugged, then scratched the back of his head. “Not really. It just…doesn’t sound like something you’d say on your own—”

“Well maybe that’s the problem , Leonard.” The katari’s magic crackled around her, shooting violet sparks that quickly dissipated in the air while streaks of bright purple flared around her head.

“We’ve all been watching the same train wreck for the last decade, at least ,” she added, “but no one’s had the guts to step up and actually do something about it. Or even talk about it ‘til now. So I guess I’m the one standing up.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” The mage scrunched up his face, then gestured toward the rest of the meeting. “But I don’t know if everyone else is ready for—”

“You don’t speak for everyone else!”

“Neither do you.”

“No, but I’m finally speaking for myself ,” Nyx snapped, flashes of her aggravated magic strobing around her in different shades of brilliant purple streaks. “I’m not telling everyone else what to think, but I know I’m not the only one who feels this way!”

Her voice echoed around the library with a desperate urgency.

When it faded, the katari was left there at the edge of the circle, hovering inches above the floor and breathing heavily, her fists clenched at her sides and her short violet hair standing on end within the flair of static her own magic had produced.

Seconds later, she noted the lack of reaction from the others around them, and her righteous anger fizzled out as her sneakers dropped back to the library floor. Nyx puffed out a sigh, glanced nervously from one familiar face to the next, and returned to shrinking uncertainly into herself like she normally did.

“I’m not the only one who feels this way,” she repeated, her voice barely above a squeaking whisper. “Am I? I can’t be…”

Magicals shuffled nervously in their circle, silently exchanging unsteady glances. Most of them had a hard time making eye contact with anyone, including Nyx.

Rebecca slowly straightened from where she’d been leaning against the closest bookcase, scanning the varied reactions and waiting …

This was pathetic. Of all Shade’s operatives, Nyx was the least likely to stick her neck out by going against the grain. Not to mention suggesting Shade “go big” in finally dealing with Aldous the way he should have been dealt with years ago.

But here she was, putting herself out there, and no one else had the balls to stand up beside her?

Diego huffed out an aggravated sigh and rolled his crimson eyes. “Is that all we’ve got? Really? Come on, people—”

“Hold on a sec.” Still gaping at Nyx, Leonard reached toward Diego’s shoulder, but the Cruorcian stepped away to avoid the contact. Leonard didn’t seem to notice as he stepped slowly toward Nyx instead, his frown deepening. “Where’s all this coming from?”

“Well that’s obvious,” Diego grumbled at the mage’s back. “She got it in her head that she knows best for all of us.”

Nyx’s eyes flared with deep purple as she centered her gaze on him. “That’s not what I said.”

“And what did you say, huh? ‘Cause I didn’t see anyone else cheering you on when you practically called for blood. Did you ?”

“Hey, ease up, will ya?” Leonard looked over his shoulder at the blood mage. “None of us have done this kinda thing before—”

“Like spoutin’ off about going big with something we can never undo?”

“For fuck’s sake!” Rebecca shouted, clenching her eyes shut against the aggravation. “Cut the bullshit and listen . Nyx just said what everyone else is thinking, and if you weren’t already thinking it, you’re in the wrong place. The only decision that matters here isn’t what to do with Aldous but how we’re gonna fucking get rid of him!”

Her own words echoed in her ears before she noticed the alarmingly pervasive silence sweeping in after her outburst. The library had fallen alarmingly silent, punctured only by the steady huff of her own breath. She slowly opened one eye to see dozens of magicals all staring at her in mute shock.

Well there went her personal promise to stay the hell out of it.

Diego sniffed, then tugged on the bill of his baseball cap to further shadow his crimson eyes. “Anything else you wanna get off your chest, elf?”

“You have no idea,” Rebecca muttered, then shook her head.

That train of thought wasn’t meant for others to hear.

Shade was not the place to vent the pressures of her own personal reality and all the dangers she faced simply by being involved in something as perilously infuriating as a budding task-force rebellion full of competent operatives who’d never before found themselves on the brink of a violent uprising .

She had plenty to get off her chest. Airing her dirty laundry was more likely to get them all killed.

Probably before they could do what had to be done.

A few tense chuckles rose across the library.

Then Nyx cleared her throat with a high-pitched squeak and shook a finger at Shade’s only elf. “Like I said. Go big. Get rid of Aldous. So what does that…mean, exactly?”

With a sigh, Rebecca could only meet the katari’s violet gaze for a brief, exasperated moment before forcing herself to look away. “You know what it means. Look, all our problems boil down to a single simple solution. As long as it’s a… permanent solution.”

A deep growl rose from Maxwell’s throat. “Got a lot of practice with that one, elf?”

She snorted and swung her gaze across the gathering to fix it on his silver-glowing eyes. “Well, Max, practice does make perfect, doesn’t it?”

Maxwell’s lips curled into a mocking smile that both challenged and invited her closer. He knew exactly how to push her buttons, and damn if she didn’t want to push right back.

Rebecca was fully prepared to meet him head-on in this infuriatingly pointless bit of conversation. She spread her arms and cocked her head at him.

If Maxwell Hannigan wanted a go at her, now was the perfect fucking time.

They might have come close to starting a brawl of their own if Leonard hadn’t gotten in the middle of it. Again.

“Is that it, then?” he asked, spreading his arms wide as he turned in a slow circle to address the whole group. “Is that what everybody’s thinking? We all on board?”

No one offered a tangible response, but the averted gazes and discomforted grimaces and shuffling feet said plenty.

Hopefully, when the time came, those who couldn’t bring themselves to admit out loud what they really wanted would have the spine to take action.

Otherwise, this rebellion would crumble beneath their feet before it ever had a chance.

“I guess that’s settled, then,” Leonard muttered. “Fine. Uh…we’re really doing this.”

“About damn time,” another mage shouted from the back.

That got plenty of half-assed murmurs of assent from other members, which started a chain reaction of acceptance spreading quickly through the library.

Diego puffed out a heavy sigh through loose lips and readjusted his baseball cap .

Nyx closed her eyes for a deep inhale as a tiny smile flickered across her lips.

Leonard turned toward Rebecca with a scathing glare almost fully disguising his relief and nodded. “At the very least, Knox, I’ve seen what you can do. You won’t hear me trying to argue you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

She leaned against the bookcase again and shrugged. “Inspiring, Leonard. Really.”

“So talk. If we’re going down this road, tell us where it goes and how to get there.”

“That’s right,” Maxwell piped in again, his voice overpowering the growing background noise of magicals finally coming to grips with what they’d been too unsteady to commit to until now. “Just how perfect did your practice make you, exactly?”

Rebecca jerked her head away from the mage in the trench coat to widen her eyes at the shifter. “This isn’t about me.”

“The hell it ain’t!” someone shouted from among the crowd. “You’re the one who said it, elf. If you know how we do this, spit it out already!”

“Seriously?” Nyx shouted back, her wings fluttering too quickly to see as her purple sneakers rose two inches off the floor. “You do know what permanent solution means, don’t you?”

“I wasn’t born yesterday, katari.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” a deep voice boomed.

Then the library fell into chaotic shouting again, this time as the pressure of their shared responsibility made Shade’s gathered rebels turn on each other now.

Fuck.

Rebecca glared at Maxwell’s bitter mask of stony expressionlessness and forced herself to breathe deeply.

He’d just called her out, and now she’d been shoved right into the center of this thing that had nothing more to do with her than what any of Shade’s members got themselves into in their own free time.

What happened to keeping her mouth shut? To staying anonymous? To not making waves?

What happened to avoiding specificity at all costs?

What happened to protecting herself by staying the fuck away from getting involved?

Maxwell Hannigan had happened.

Shade’s Head of Security had been riding her so hard the last few days, anything he said now made her instantly want to bite back and leave a permanently painful mark .

She’d let her guard down, let herself take his scrutiny personally, and now look what she’d done.

“Hey, hey, hey !” Diego bellowed with a brisk clap of his hands. When that didn’t settle the others back into some semblance of order, the Cruorcian shot Rebecca a scathing glare. Then he rolled his eyes, rolled up the cuffs of his sleeves, and thrust a hand in the air.

A crimson flare exploded from his upstretched fingers, sending a ballooning umbrella of blood-red sparks up toward the ceiling before fanning out around the gathering with startlingly loud cracks and a rippling fizzle that made the insides of Rebecca’s ears itch.

A dangerously thin fae woman clapped her hands over her ears and toppled sideways against the closest bookshelf. Several volumes toppled out of place with a cacophony of thumps and fluttering pages.

Those closest tried to help her back to her feet, and the interruption to the multiple arguments simultaneously taking place gave Diego the opening he needed.

“Don’t make me turn up the pressure!” the Cruorcian boomed over the residual noise.

All mouths fell silent. Balled fists and raised palms lowered slowly before they could be turned on fellow Shade members. Some magicals blushed, their faces taking on darkening shades in various colors, depending on their race’s natural hues.

Silence slithered back in to fill the empty spaces.

Diego clenched his raised hand into a fist to snuff out the lingering effects of his latest spell, pulling the meeting back under control. Then he shot Rebecca another warning look before gesturing toward Leonard. “You were saying?”

“I wasn’t saying shit,” the mage replied with a low chuckle, his focus pinned on Rebecca as well. “Knox made a suggestion. I wanna hear about permanent solutions. So let’s hear it.”

She glared back at him, then tried to dismiss the whole thing with a flippant wave of her hand before folding her arms again. “I’m not the one calling the shots, here.”

“Sure, but if you were ,” Leonard prompted, “how would you call ‘em?”

“That’s not what’s happening,” she snapped back. “This is about what everyone else wants. The greater good, right? I’m not involved.”

“Everyone standing in this room is involved,” Maxwell growled.

“Oh, right.” Rebecca thrust a finger toward the shifter. “Says the guy who disappears in the middle of a firefight.”

A low snarl burst from his lips as his eyes flashed a brighter silver than ever. He looked like he was on the verge of leaving his lofty little perch at the edge of the meeting, surrounded by his bored-as-shit security team, to bring a new fight right to her.

She would have gladly met him head-on.

“Actually, yeah,” Diego interjected, stepping up between them and wagging a finger at Maxwell. “You know what? I’m still waiting to hear what the hell that was about.”

Maxwell sneered back at him and shook his head. “Don’t start with me.”

“Hey, hold up.” Leonard put a hand on Diego’s shoulder to stop him. “We were talking about permanent solutions —”

“Here’s a permanent solution for you,” the Cruorcian spat, his crimson eyes flashing at Maxwell. “How about a mission leader who actually leads instead of running off with his tail between his legs?”

Leonard gaped at the back of Diego’s head, pulled his hands away, and held them up in concession. “Woah.”

Rebecca met his gaze and shook her head.

Maxwell pushed himself away from the way and took a single threatening step toward the Cruorcian. “I don’t owe you a damn thing.”

“No, but you owe her for pulling our asses out of the fire when you were fuckin’ around somewhere else! Why are you even here ?”

“You wanna see how this thing goes with the elf calling the shots?” the shifter roared.

Leonard nodded vigorously. “Yes. Finally. That’s what I’m trying to—”

“Can’t be worse than the current dipshit in charge, can it?” Diego snapped, his fingers bursting with crimson light again as thin tendrils of more blood magic seeped from beneath his fingernails in warning.

The shifter hissed through his teeth. “Because you’re not looking at the whole picture, boy .”

Leonard gasped.

Rebecca glanced with wide eyes between Diego and Maxwell.

The others in the library watched everything in stunned silence.

Diego’s face reddened almost as deeply as his burning crimson eyes, his body trembling until he pointed at the Head of Security again and growled, “Say that again, you half-mutt reject.”

“I’ll tell you exactly how this plays out if we hand this one the reins.” Maxwell thrust his finger toward Rebecca without looking at her, glaring at Diego instead as if they were having a private argument just the two of them.

She would have loved to rip that finger off his fucking hand, but unfortunately, the shifter stood on the other side of the meeting.

“She’ll walk all over this task force,” Maxwell continued, “pretending to be one of us while she goes off and does whatever the hell she feels like—”

“She is one of us!” Nyx shouted.

Several other magicals pumped fists in the air and offered their shouted support.

Most of them gaped at the drama unfolding in the back of the library.

“Why, because The Striving didn’t kill her?” the shifter roared.

Rebecca snorted.

Someone had a major thing for calling her out at the wrong time to the wrong audience. Whatever Maxwell had against her, he was only hurting himself by dragging it all out into the light.

“Sure, she’s laughing now,” he continued, “but we don’t know a damn thing about her. And I haven’t heard the elf volunteer shit-else about why she’s here since the day she showed up. Have you?”

“Well she was gonna touch on permanent solutions ,” Leonard muttered. “Hate to be a broken record and all, but maybe we should leave it up to her to—”

“If it were up to her, she’d just sit back, keep doing nothing, and watch Aldous drown us in a pool of his own—”

“Hey, fuck you, Hannigan,” Rebecca snarled as the last of her patience and self-control snapped. “Go play prosecution on your own time, huh?”

He finally deigned to settle that glowing silver gaze on her directly and spread his arms. “Oh, so you do have a plan.”

She shot him a bitter grimace of a smile. “As much as you have any proof of…whatever the hell you think I am.”

“Okay, great!” Leonard clapped his hands together like they’d just settled all the important issues, oblivious to the silent battle of wills Rebecca and Maxwell had entered together through their furious staring contest. “So then, Knox, if it were up to you—”

“Dammit, Leonard,” she spat, “if it were up to me, I’d slit the changeling’s throat in his fucking sleep!”

Her voice ricocheted off every surface in the back of the library. A stunned, hushed silence infiltrated every sharp inhale and half-stifled groan and thick swallow from the magicals around her.

And they all stared at Rebecca Bloodshadow, as if they’d finally found the most ruthless among them.

As if they’d finally found the elf they’d needed to lead their rebellion toward what had to be done.

Oh shit…

What the hell was she doing ?

She’d just crossed a line, and now it was impossible to take back.