34. Chapter 34

34

W hile the rest of the room swirled around her in a haze of smoke and chaos and shouting voices, Rebecca felt only stabbing pain and dizziness and an alarmingly intense heat coursing through her body.

She’d just been skewered by a piece of wooden target.

Shouldn’t she be cold right about now? Or did that come later?

Riding beneath those strangely relevant thoughts was the underlying realization of how much harder it would be to get out of this one without anyone looking twice at how she did it.

“No, don’t,” Maxwell said, gently batting her hands away from the enormous splinter piercing her abdomen. “Don’t touch it.”

In an oddly detached way, Rebecca found his concern more amusing than it should have been, but wasn’t this just her luck?

A warbling mixture of voices swarmed all around her until another familiar tone caught her attention.

“Would you look at that?” Rowan stepped into her line of sight with a crooked smile. “That thing’s powerful as hell. You weren’t kidding.”

He glanced down at his shirt covered in sawdust and bits of plaster after the explosion and carelessly brushed away the mess to let it flutter to the floor.

If Rebecca’s body had currently responded to her commands, she would have told him to go sit in the corner until she got this sorted out. As it was, though, she could only handle gaping up at him with wide eyes, trying to slow her breathing so she didn’t hyperventilate and pass out. That wouldn’t help anyone.

The casual surprise with which Rowan had approached her remained unsurprising. He already knew just how easily she could heal herself after an upset like this.

But no one else did.

So when Maxwell turned away from Rebecca to glare up at the Blackmoon Elf hovering over them both, she couldn’t blame him for his reaction.

Rowan looked down at the shifter and wiggled his eyebrows. “That’s some pretty insane power, huh? Hey, do we have anything else with, like, a slightly gentler kickback?”

With a roar, Maxwell leapt to his feet, pivoted toward Rowan, and sent a fist cracking into the Blackmoon Elf’s face.

With a grunt of surprise, Rowan stumbled backward and tested his newly split lip with a quick brush of his fingers.

“What the fuck were you thinking ?” Maxwell bellowed.

“Whoa, hey. Hold on a second.” Rowan looked genuinely surprised when he lifted both hands in concession. “This is all part of training, isn’t it? Figuring out how this stuff works?”

“And almost killing our commander in the process,” Maxwell snarled.

An easy chuckle burst through Rowan’s lips. “It’s not like I did it on purpose. I was—hey!”

Maxwell shoved him backward with both hands, snarling and growling as he and his fury drove Rowan farther and farther away from Rebecca. “Quit treating everything like a fucking joke! I told you exactly where to stand and how to set the appropriate power level, and you didn’t give a shit!”

“Oh come on…” Rowan staggered backward, lifted his hands even higher in front of himself, and offered the shifter a sheepish smile. “Honestly, I didn’t think it was gonna be that intense.”

“No, you didn’t think at all!” Maxwell stabbed a finger toward the elf’s face as he loomed over him. “That’s your fucking problem.”

“My problem?” Blinking quickly, the elf feigned surprise. But when he spoke next, his voice adopted an indignant shift in tone before matching the violence behind Maxwell’s words with his own.

“Listen, pal . I pay attention when I need to. There’s clearly something up your ass today, and it’s not me. You want an apology? Fine. I’m sorry, okay? My bad. I’ll use a babysitter next time. Better?”

“You think that’s going to cut it?” Maxwell snarled. “Even if that was a real apology and you actually meant it, it doesn’t mean a damn thing right now. It fixes nothing. Look at what you did!”

He pivoted and pointed directly at Rebecca still lying on her side on the gym floor, motionless in a quickly growing pool of her own blood seeping out around the wooden shard in her belly.

Rowan followed the direction of Maxwell’s finger and caught Rebecca’s gaze. “Yeah, I know. You okay?”

Besides wanting to bash his face in? Sure.

She nodded as best she could and replied through gritted teeth, “I’ll be fine.”

It was true. She’d been through far worse, and she would be fine. Rowan knew it just as well as she did, but it was merely one more fun little secret to which no one else within Shade was privy.

More than anything, despite the pain in her belly and the stiffness settling into her limbs as she lay there on her side, this whole thing just felt remarkably awkward. Not to mention embarrassing.

“You are not okay,” Maxwell told her with a frown, his voice surprisingly gentle. Then he whirled on Rowan again. “And you . You’re banned from so much as looking at that machine gun. Do you hear me?”

Rowan’s smile faded as he backed away from the furious shifter, his hands still lifted in surrender.

Now the elf looked confused beyond belief—not an expression Rebecca was used to seeing on him. That confusion had to be why he backed down now without a fight.

Rebecca could practically hear him asking why she pretended to be this weak and fragile or if she did it just for the added attention.

Another wave of agony rising against the constant pain everywhere else made her grunt, making Maxwell turn back toward her in concern.

The second he did, she caught sight of Rowan’s hands moving in a flurry of gestures specific to their shared Bloodshadow hunting party from back in the day.

“What are you doing? Just heal it.”

Easier said than done.

No one here knew anything close to the full extent of her abilities, and she couldn’t just tell him that.

Not with everyone crowding around her now, watching her every move and acutely on edge as they waited for whatever happened next.

Rebecca started to push herself off the ground, clenching her teeth with another grunt through the endless pain before she murmured, “I…think I’m just gonna go lie down for a bit.”

She noted the odd stares and hushed whispers rising all around her as she struggled to rise.

“Damn, Knox.”

“Total badass…”

“That’s all just shock, right? There’s no way that doesn’t hurt like a bitch.”

“She doesn’t even know what happened to her yet. Look.”

“Knox!” Maxwell barked. “Don’t move.”

“I’ll be fine,” she argued, pausing on one knee as she gripped her belly beside the wooden shard and gave herself a moment to catch her breath again. “I just need to lie down.”

“See?” Rowan gestured toward her. “She just needs a minute without everyone hovering over her. I mean, damn. That would make it hard for anyone.”

“One more word, elf,” Maxwell snarled, “and I will fuck you up.”

Rowan kept his hands raised and chuckled at the shifter, shaking his head.

“Oh, this is funny to you, is it?” Maxwell surged toward him again, his silver eyes blazing with rage.

“In a few different ways, yeah.” Rowan laughed again. “You have no idea.”

“Really, just drop it,” Rebecca cut in, though the effort of raising her voice moved the stake in her belly and almost made her fall over where she knelt.

“You’re pathetic !” Maxwell bellowed, ignoring her in favor of unleashing his full wrath on the Blackmoon Elf. “Can’t even own up to your own mistakes. You are exactly what this task force doesn’t need. Your recklessness. Your complete lack of concern and respect.”

“Oh, I’ve got plenty of respect, shifter,” Rowan replied darkly, still grinning. “Just not for you .”

Maxwell leapt toward him, hands outstretched, and the strobing silver within his eyes looked a lot like he was about to shift before taking Rowan down on his own.

“That’s enough,” Rebecca called out, forcing it to be a little louder this time..

“I don’t give a shit what The Striving proved ,” he snarled, still bearing down on Rowan, seemingly without having heard her. “You don’t belong here, and you never have–”

“Hannigan!” Rebecca barked. “Stand down! That’s in order.”

The effort of shouting above all the other noise left her winded and struggling to maintain her balance even on one knee, but it did the job.

Maxwell froze, his face contorted in another furious snarl, his chest heaving as he glowered at Rowan.

Surely her Head of Security wouldn’t act against a direct order, whether given here in front of everyone or in private.

She hoped.

The next second, Maxwell seemed to realize what she’d ordered him to do, and he turned to look at her. The fury seeping out of his expression gave way to utter confusion.

He didn’t have to understand why she’d told him to stop, just as long as he stopped.

And he did.

Relief washed over Rebecca. She didn’t have it in her to get between them if these two went head-to-head right now. She couldn’t even stand.

Nor did she want to explain to her Head of Security how dangerous it was to keep provoking Rowan Blackmoon without knowing what he was getting into—and especially because she also couldn’t tell him why .

But if he kept pushing and Rowan’s patience snapped, the shifter would end up worse off than she was right now. The mere thought made her stomach churn.

Or maybe that was the wooden splinter in there…

Then Rebeca had to stop herself and inspect her own thoughts.

Was she that concerned for Maxwell’s safety? Was she trying to protect the shifter who’d been a pain in her ass since day one, no matter what his intentions had been?

Yes, she realized. Because apparently, she was now trying to protect him.

Probably just a side effect of all the blood loss.

After a moment’s pause all around, Maxwell snarled at Rowan again, then spun away from the elf to head toward Rebecca.

The next thing she knew, he’d bent over beside her, grabbing her arm to drape it over both his shoulders. “You need the healer.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” She grunted as he helped her to her feet. “I just need some rest. You can take me to my room—”

“Don’t argue with me on this, Knox. Just let me help you.”

The wooden shard in her stomach hurt so badly now, she couldn’t help but relent and accept. She let him support her on the hobbling walk across the training gym toward its double doors.

What she wanted was to stop all this fussing, yank out this hells-be-damned splinter, and heal herself up right here and now, just to get the whole damn thing over with so they could all move on.

Again, that just wasn’t an option.

No one knew a damn thing about what she could do.

It had to stay that way.

Meaning Rebecca had to suck it up and keep playing victim of a violent accident while Maxwell helped her to the infirmary. All to keep her secrets and her identity hidden the way they had to remain hidden.

Moving with surprising care, Maxwell half-carried, half-guided her toward the gym’s double doors, which someone else had already parted and propped open for them. Then he paused, looked over his shoulder, and sent a piercing whistle through the training gym. “Rick!”

The squeak of a shoe heel across the wooden floor preceded Rick’s arrival before he stumbled to a halt in front of them. “Yeah, boss?”

“I want constant eyes on Blackmoon. No matter how many bullshit excuses he gives you. If he even thinks about pulling some shit like this again, you lock him up. Understand?”

“Got it.” The blackhorn nodded once, then swallowed thickly when his gaze fell on the stake protruding from Rebecca’s guts. “The healer will set that right, Knox.”

All Rebecca could manage was a huff of a laugh that sounded more like a shuddering sigh before Maxwell barked to the entire task force, “Keep training. No one leaves this room before I get back.”

Then he led Rebecca through the doors and down the hall.

It was all she could do to let him without trying to struggle out of it.

The shifter moved like he was racing against the clock. That was probably true, though Rebecca still couldn’t tell him why this was unnecessary and why she would be fine, no matter how quickly he got her to Zida.

Nothing she might say to him now would be convincing enough, because only the truth would make him believe her, and that was still far too dangerous.

The shifter was doing his best to work with her, but she didn’t trust him that much.

Not yet.

The farther they left the training gym behind them, though, the more Rebecca’s thoughts turned to Rowan. Once they did, she couldn’t stop worrying about the Blackmoon Elf effectively locked in the gym with the rest of Shade’s task force.

Not in concern for his safety or because she thought Maxwell’s security team might actually hurt him if he made the wrong move.

No, quite the opposite.

Rowan had so easily dispatched an entire team of operatives, mostly Maxwell’s security guys, the night he’d broken into Shade’s compound, and he hadn’t even been trying. He wouldn’t find it remotely difficult to take on the entire task force at once in the gym, if he felt the need.

And if he did anything to make Rick and the others feel like they had to subdue him, they would all get their asses handed to them again in the blink of an eye.

Anyone else would have learned their lesson and toned it down, but Rowan Blackmoon never had been the kind of elf to hold back out of respect, decorum, or formality. If something pissed him off or impeded what he wanted at any moment, he’d do whatever he wanted anyway.

And any fool who tried to stop him was done.

What concerned Rebecca the most now was Rowan Blackmoon and his big mouth.

If the urge came over him, he might blab to anyone who would listen. He could let slip all about Rebecca and who she’d been. Who he still seemed to think she was. Who they’d once been to each other…

Worst of all, if that happened, she wouldn’t be there this time to shut him up before he ruined everything.

She and Maxwell had only made it halfway to the infirmary when Rebecca realized that what she wanted was to reject the shifter’s help, heal herself, and go right back to the training gym.

To keep her eye on Rowan and make doubly certain he didn’t decimate her life here because he felt like being brutally honest with everyone else on a whim.

But she couldn’t. Maxwell would never let her go, short of seeing exactly what her Bloodshadow magic could do and how capable she was of healing herself without assistance.

Then everything would change between them.

Her only safe choice was to let the shifter help her to the infirmary, because that was the only solution he would believe.

When they turned down the final hallway in the residential wing, a new realization hit Rebecca and filled her with a gut-churning horror that had nothing to do with the wooden shrapnel in her belly.

In trying so hard to keep her secrets, she’d backed herself into another corner. And this one would be even more impossible to get out of now.

Maxwell believed she needed his help. After today, he would never let her live this down.

He would remind her of today’s near-lethal accident every chance he got—that she wasn’t invincible, that she couldn’t keep running blindly into any and every danger because look what had happened in the assumed safety of Shade’s own training gym.

He would insist every step of the way that his constant presence beside her, under the guise of necessary protection, was their only option from here on out for keeping the Thon-Da’al safe.

She could let him think he’d helped her all he wanted, but after today, she would never get another moment of privacy, of being alone without a protective detail, for as long as she remained Shade’s Commander.

After today, anything short of telling Maxwell the truth wouldn’t change his renewed efforts to double down on her constant protection. He would never leave her side…

Rowan just had to play with the big guns, didn’t he? Now everything would be different.

Rebecca’s head spun. Not the way it did under chaotic pressure or when she tried to solve some incomprehensible mystery. This was the detached, woozy, cold spinning that came with physical ailment and blood loss and a serious need for recovery.

By the time Maxwell finally led her to the door of Zida’s infirmary, she’d already lost so much blood, her vision had blurred. If he’d released his hold on her now, she would have crumpled to the floor.

Forget about the fact that she could do nothing to stop her teeth from chattering madly in her head like he’d just pulled her out of a sub-zero blizzard.

This wasn’t good at all.

When he stopped at Zida’s door to knock and shout for the healer, Rebecca chanced a quick look down at her belly.

The wooden skewer was still there. No surprise.

But she hadn’t realized her entire shirt and much of the top of her pants were already soaked in blood, which had somehow gotten on her hands too and since dried.

Then her gaze fell to the floor, and a stronger wave of cold shot through her—half in physical weakness, half in fear.

The hallway’s tile floor was smeared with her blood too, leading behind them in a long, glistening, slippery trail all the way back to the training gym.

If she didn’t get the help she needed soon—short of Maxwell disappearing into thin air so she could heal herself with no one around to watch—Rebecca realized she might die from blood loss.

That was a first.

The shifter pounded on the door again, and Zida’s shout finally greeted them from the other side. “Open up!”

When he twisted the doorknob for the third or fourth time to confirm it was locked, the precarious balance of their combined weight shifted just enough to make Rebecca wobble and drop forward, unable to catch herself on her own.

“Whoa, hey.” Maxwell caught her as gently as possible, then returned the strong, stable support of her arm slung around his shoulders. “I’ve got you. You’re almost there. Just stay with me. Knox? No, no. Eyes open. Stay with me. Zida!”

More pounding on the door, but now it sounded much farther away than it should have.

Dammit, was she losing consciousness? Now ?

She thought she heard Maxwell’s sigh of relief when the door opened with a violent twist of the handle and swung in to reveal what remained of the healer’s scraggly gray hair above beady black eyes and a toothless mouth.

That mouth gaped at them when she saw her visitors.

“Yeah, yeah, an emergency. I get it. But you’ll have to…” Zida stopped herself when she saw the stake protruding from Rebecca’s belly, then the blood all over them both and smeared behind them across the floor. The healer clicked her tongue and shook her head. “Blue Hells. What did you do now ? Bring her in, will you? She’s half dead already.”

“So it’s not just me…”

That was what Rebecca had intended to say, but all she managed was a weak, warbling moan as she sagged against Maxwell and let him carry her the rest of the way into the infirmary.

Definitely not good.

All signs pointed to this being a lot worse than she’d thought. It wouldn’t have been if she’d been left alone from the start to heal herself in private, but who in their right mind would let Shade’s Thon-Da’al go off into hiding like an ancient cat sneaking away to die in solitude because its time had finally come?

Zida thrust a crooked finger at one of the infirmary beds. “Explain.”

“Training mishap,” Maxwell growled as he led Rebecca, stumbling, toward the bed.

The healer hobbled out of the way, looking them both up and down. “Some kinda training. Whatever happened to safety protocol?”

“We have safety protocols. An idiot with a death wish didn’t think they applied today.”

The healer froze, looked up at Rebecca with wide eyes, and her puckered mouth split to reveal the few remaining nubs of her teeth before she let out a wild cackle. “Did he just call you an idiot?”

“No,” Maxwell and Rebecca replied together.

Zida’s smile faded. “Oh. Good. I rather enjoy being the only one who can do that and get away with it. Well? Go on. What are you waiting for? Get her on the bed.”

Rebecca shouldn’t have tried to climb onto the infirmary bed herself. Even the first bit of movement sent a jolt of agony through her insides that made her groan.

With another growl, Maxwell bent to scoop her off the ground like she weighed nothing before he settled her gently onto the squeaky mattress and situated a pillow behind her head.

Then he stepped back to allow the healer room as she hustled and bustled around the bed, feeling Rebecca’s pulse, pressing the back of a hand to Rebecca’s forehead, sniffing at her blood-soaked abdomen where the wooden splinter still poked through.

Rebecca was still lucid enough to realize how close to the edge of unconsciousness she teetered, but now that’d made it to a bed and didn’t have to worry about walking or letting Maxwell guide her, she had a lot more mental power to spare.

While Zida bustled this way and that, checking every detail both crucial and mundane, Rebecca couldn’t help but notice the healer hadn’t addressed the glaringly obvious issue yet.

In fact, Zida kept shooting suspicious glances at Rebecca’s left wrist and forearm, as if expecting some other injury to appear there at the last second.

Like the dark gray handprint from a powerful homunculus burned into her flesh, for instance.

She hadn’t yet had the chance to inform Zida of that debilitating wound’s journey to full repair and healing. Fortunately, the healer didn’t mention it as she worked.

Rebecca was grateful for it. That was one more discussion she did not want to have in front of Maxwell.

The healer might not have pushed Rebecca for a full explanation, but Maxwell would if he thought there was knowledge to be gained from it. Then he’d probably demand she report the entire thing in a detailed debriefing at the first available opportunity.

No, thank you.

When Zida finished with her initial investigations, she shot Rebecca’s left wrist one final, deeply suspicious glance, then looked up and smacked her lips. “All right, then. Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened?”

“Training mishap,” Maxwell repeated with a deeper growl this time.

“Yes, yes, you already told me—”

“And it landed her with this piece of wood in her belly!” he shouted, then retracted his lashing anger and cleared his throat. “I assumed that part was fairly obvious.”

The healer looked sharply up at him with an exaggerated scowl, even coming from Zida. Then she dipped her head closer to inspect the wound and the foreign body still inside it. “Hmm… Oh, yeah. Well, there’s definitely a lot of blood loss here, I can tell you that.”

If Rebecca had had the energy, she would have rolled her eyes.

Maxwell, however, stopped growling and glowering—looking a little paler than usual, Rebecca noted—and murmured, “I brought her here as quickly as I could.”

“I’m sure you did.” Zida cocked her head as she studied his face. “Let’s just hope it was quickly enough, huh? By the looks of her… Well, it could still go either way.”