Chapter 6

The restof the week was filled with exploration of the villages and sights around Lake Como. They hiked the gorge. Traveled into Como and played tourist. They ate, they drank, and Connor had the time of his life, watching as Kellan blossomed. He began a quiet, reticent man who had flourished under the Italian sun, growing more comfortable in his own skin. Kellan's smiles spoke for themselves, warming Connor down to his soul.

Their nights were filled with another kind of exploration that Connor enjoyed even more. They'd licked and laved, tasted and touched, but they hadn't gone further than pleasuring one another with mouths and hands. Every time he'd lead them toward penetration, Kellan had stiffened and moved away.

Which was fine. Intimacy didn't have to include anal if his partner wasn't into it. Yet there was something primal within. He wanted to claim Kellan as his, even though the man would likely never truly be his. No matter what, Connor would always have a little piece of Kellan Rhodes that was entirely his.

While Kellan continued to shake off the past, he still had moments where he grew timid and jerked away from Connor's touch—particularly when they were in public. Connor sensed it was subconscious; a knee-jerk reaction after a lifetime of hiding, but it stung, too, to be denied.

Connor buried the emotion and focused on the job at hand—ensuring Kellan enjoyed himself.

Yet, it no longer felt like a job, either.

The week sped by way too quickly. The night before they were to leave for the airport, they dined out. Again. Ana Maria hadn't forgiven them for burning her dish earlier in the week, forcing them out for dinner the rest of their stay. Fortunately, they continued to get fresh pastries and fruit in the mornings, along with her outstanding coffee. Connor had already bought a copper set to take home, along with beans. They were stored in his luggage, ready for the return trip. Hopefully he'd be able to recreate it in Texas.

His luggagemight be ready for his return, but he wasn't.

He and Kellan sat outside near a roaring fireplace on an open veranda overlooking the lake. The moon was full and heavy above the water, its reflection glistening over the surface. Its glow illuminated the night, and along with the fire and candles at the table, it was easy to see Kellan's face.

And the frown lines filling it.

"What's wrong?" Connor asked, lowering his fork. Glancing down, he noted Kellan's bowl was nearly full. "Is your dinner not good?"

"Not much appetite," Kellan replied, his voice scarcely above a whisper. He stared at his plate, using his fork to spear a piece of cavatappi, toying with it but not eating it.

"Why's that?"

Kellan lifted his gaze, sorrow in his eyes. "I don't want to go home." His face screwed up, and he lowered his fork, reaching for his wine glass. "Yet, I do, too. I miss Abigail. Calling every day isn't enough… but…" He sighed, lifting his wine glass. "I don't want to leave this place."

"I understand."

Kellan drained his glass and stretched for the bottle. "You do, do you?"

"You've gotten a taste of freedom and don't want to let go." Connor smiled. He wanted to remain there, too. Not just for the beauty of the place, but for Kellan. He needed more, and one final night just wasn't enough. "And it's lovely here. You could probably spend a lifetime seeking its secrets and treasures."

"Yes, yes… it's beautiful," Kellan spat before biting his lip, as if he wanted to say more. He poured himself his third glass and the last of the bottle.

Connor waited a few beats, searching Kellan's face. When he didn't add any more, Connor leaned forward. "Maudlin, hmm? Why don't you save that for tomorrow on the plane home?"

Kellan's gaze whipped to his. He said nothing, only lifted the glass to his lips for another sip.

"We have one last night," Connor whispered. "Let's not waste it."

A hint of a smile played over Kellan's lips. "What do you suggest we do with our final hours?"

Connor pushed his plate away as Kellan drained his glass again. "I was thinking we could go back to the villa. Have a celebration of our own."

"Open another bottle of wine…"

"You've had one of your own already," Connor said, grinning.

"I need liquid courage," Kellan murmured, lifting his hand for their waiter.

"For?"

Kellan met his stare. There was something there that told Connor all he wanted to know.

Their server returned to check on them. "Anything else I can do for you, gentlemen?"

"No, we just need the check," Kellan said before pouring the last bit of wine into his glass.

The check appeared and Kellan tossed a few Euros from his wallet, already in his lap.

"Grazie. Have a lovely evening," the server said, grabbing a few empty plates. "Do you need a box, segnore?"

"No," Kellan said, pushing from the table. "Thank you." Kellan turned to Connor. "Let's go."

The restaurant they'd chosen was easy walking distance to the villa. He strolled along the old, cobbled street, moonlight lighting their path—but Kellan was speed-walking. "What's the rush?"

Kellan paused, turning to face Connor. "We don't have long."

Connor stopped in from the Kellan, watching how the moonlight cast its glow over the man's handsome face. "We have all night."

"It's not enough," Kellan whispered.

Connor's stomach knotted. He felt very much the same.

"Even so, let's not rush it." He slid his hand into Kellan's. Connor glanced down at their joined hands and smiled, lifting his gaze.

"I want you to fuck me," Kellan said, his voice barely a whisper.

Connor quieted the roar inside him, which took much doing on his part. "Are you asking for what I think you're asking?"

"I want your dick… inside me."

Connor did his best to remain cool and calm when he was anything but. "That can be arranged." He then understood the many glasses of wine that night. Kellan had been building up his courage to ask for what he wanted. Stopping in the middle of the quiet street, he tugged the man close, pressing his lips to Kellan's. "I'll be careful, I promise."

"I don't want careful," Kellan said, a hint of a slur to his voice.

"You've said you haven't been with a man in a long, long time."

"No, but… I have a drawerful of partners I visit nightly. A couple about equal to your size. I'll be just fine."

Connor released a breath, a thrill racing up his spine. A smile impossible to stop spread over his lips. "Noted."

Kellan rose on his toes and pressed a kiss to Connor's lips. "Are you going to stand here all night with that sappy smile on your face or are we going to do this? I'd like to get going before the liquid courage wears off."

Connor's smile faded. He captured Kellan's chin. "Why do you need liquid courage?"

Kellan didn't answer him.

"If this isn't what you truly want…"

"I want," Kellan responded, stiffening.

"We don't have to cross that line if you'd rather not."

Kellan sighed, pulling away.

Connor stopped him, pulling them together again. "Talk to me, Kellan."

Kellan bristled. "I've… I've never." He chuckled. "I've only engaged in oral sex before. No man…" He cleared his throat. "… has fucked me before."

Connor smiled, caressing Kellan's cheek. "I'm honored."

Kellan sneered, clearly embarrassed. When Connor lifted his gaze again, one finger on his chin, Kellan looked away.

"Why the embarrassment?"

"I'm a thirty-six-year-old virgin."

It was Connor's turn to scoff. "We've had sex all week. And you have a daughter." Abigail was his, wasn't she? He suddenly had doubts.

"But not…" Kellan shook his head. "An anal virgin, then."

Connor chuckled. "I get to pop that cherry, hmm?" The toys had technically done that, but he'd take the credit if it was left to be taken.

"Yeah," Kellan said, leaning close and nuzzling his neck. "Pop my cherry, baby."

Connor's eyes drifted closed, the kisses hungry. It set off the simmering need he seemed to have all the time when around Kellan. "If you don't let me take you home before kissing me like that more, I might have to deflower you here in the middle of the street."

Kellan chuckled, pulling away. "Fine." He grabbed Connor's hand and tugged him forward. "Hurry up."

Connor smiled, allowing Kellan to lead a brisk pace back to the villa. Once behind closed doors, Kellan spun, rising onto his toes to capture Connor's lips. The banked fire erupted. Connor dug his fingers through Kellan's silky strands, sliding his hand to hold the man closer before taking over. Kellan whimpered, surrendering to Connor's dominance.

He backed Kellan to the stairs before lifting the man and tossing him over one shoulder.

"Woah," Kellan cried, grasping above Connor's hips to steady himself. "What's this?"

"You said you didn't want me to be careful. The opposite of careful is rough."

Kellan's body shivered against him.

"Sounds to me you like the idea of rough," Connor said before arriving at the top tread. He stalked toward the bed they'd shared all week and stood by the side of it, yanking Kellan's shoes off and tossing them across the room. Then, he deposited his lover into the middle of the bedding. Standing back, he gauged Kellan's response.

Kellan's cock tented his pants. His lids drooped; lips parted. He panted, sweat beading at his brow with his cheeks pink. He was glorious in his need.

Connor reached out, grabbing the front of Kellan's shirt. He tugged it up and over, tossing it to the floor before undoing the clasp at his belt. "I should keep you locked away, naked, for the rest of our days. Never let you leave my bed."

Kellan's breath caught, hunger clear in his eyes. Connor yanked the zipper down and tugged the fabric apart. He drove a hand behind the band at the top of Kellan's briefs and got a handful of hard cock in his palm. Stroking it, Kellan's precum helped lube the touches that followed.

"Is that what you want, baby? Be my captive lover, never allowed anything but a good, swift fucking every day for the rest of your life?"

"Yeah," Kellan said between pants and gasps.

"Not until you come for me," Connor said, using his free hand to tug down Kellan's pants. "I wanna see you shoot your load for me."

Kellan's body tightened, his breath coming in gasps.

"You're all mine," Connor growled. "You and this cock of yours."

Kellan shouted, back bowing. He shot a thick jet of cum onto the comforter, and another over the back of Connor's hand, trembling with the force of his release. Connor continued to stroke, drawing the orgasm out as far as he could until Kellan nearly collapsed onto him.

Connor lifted his coated hand to Kellan's lips. "You've made a mess. Clean it up."

Kellan's gaze met his in the low light, eyes wide. But he did as commanded, his tongue coming out to swipe through the cum on Connor's hand.

"That's a good boy," Connor murmured, carefully kicking off his shoes. "Undo my belt while you clean your mess."

Kellan's hands shook as they closed over his belt. Struggling, he unbuckled it before moving to the zipper, lowering it.

Connor's aching shaft pushed out between the vee, tenting his briefs. Kellan stroked him, having learned much in their week together. An apt pupil, Kellan had been quick to notice the touches Connor enjoyed most.

And there was no way that Kellan hadn't given a million blowjobs with the talented mouth he possessed. As Kellan lowered to offer another, Connor knew there was no way he'd make it. Two seconds in Kellan's mouth and he'd likely explode, as on edge as he was.

He whipped off his light sweater and kicked out of his pants, baring himself. After removing what little was left on Kellan, he climbed onto the bed. Kellan scooted away, as if afraid of Connor's touch.

"Get back over here," he commanded.

"I figured you'd want me on my hands and knees," Kellan whispered.

"Nope," he replied. "I want to see your face when I slide into you."

Kellan's eyes fell closed, a mewl rising from his lips. Connor rested his hand on Kellan's chest—eyes whipping open—before pressing the man down to the surface. He wrangled the lube and a condom from the plentiful supply in the drawer next to him. Ripping open the foil, he covered himself in one quick roll. Kellan watched his every move through narrowed lids.

"Let me see what I'm working with," he murmured, filling his palm with lube. With his free hand, he lifted one of Kellan's legs to get a better view. "That's a sweet little hole you've got." He'd given it a few laps with his tongue and some teasing with a finger, but nothing more.

Before Kellan could reply, he slathered lube over the puckered flesh. Any words on Kellan's lips transformed into a low moan, tickling the edges of Connor's desire. Their eyes met, lust encountering lust. Connor worked a finger in, the tension causing his balls to draw tight to the base of his cock. "You're sure you're ready for me?"

Kellan was tight, and he worried he'd hurt the man.

"I'm ready," Kellan assured. "With a little prep."

Connor worked in another finger, stretching Kellan wider. He gasped, breath catching. Another moan came from his lips.

"More," Kellan pleaded.

Connor worked his two fingers in and out, fearful of rushing.

"Please," Kellan begged, his head thrashing. "More."

Connor added a third finger, sensing the hitch in Kellan's breathing. Worry filled him, only to ebb as Kellan relaxed against the invasion. Connor stretched him, ensuring he'd fit before withdrawing.

Connor angled the head of his cock against Kellan's stretched hole. "Last chance to change your mind."

"Fuck me," Kellan whispered without pause, capturing Connor's gaze once more.

Connor sank in an inch or two, pressing past the thick band of nerves. Kellan winced but smiled through it. Connor descended deeper, inch by inch, until his whole cock disappeared. Closing his eyes to the pleasure, he gasped at the tight grip of Kellan's hole around him. Kellan's hips rolled, urging him on. Gripping one side of the man's waist to still him, Connor breathed through the blinding pleasure. Once he'd gained control, he met Kellan's avid stare.

"I need," Kellan whispered.

"I know, baby," Connor replied. He placed his hands onto the mattress on either side of Kellan and leaned in for a kiss.

When they broke away, Kellan whimpered. "You promised me rough."

Connor wasn't sure he was capable of fulfilling that promise without coming. "I never promised," he said. "I just said the opposite is rough."

"Semantics," Kellan argued. "Make it burn, Connor."

Connor smiled, kissing Kellan again. "Your wish is my command." Dear god, please help me. He withdrew a few inches and slid back in, his knees shaking. Kellan's body was made for him, holding him tight. There was no way he'd last long, especially if he gave in to Kellan's demand.

Kellan, on the other hand, was coming back to life. Resting on his haunches, Connor focused on his partner's cock a moment to give him time. "Insatiable, I see."

"You make me that way," Kellan whispered.

Connor chuckled, sliding out again as he stroked Kellan. "Good," he replied, slamming home.

Kellan gasped, back arching. Connor gave another thrust… and another… until he set a slow rocking pace. Quickening, he stroked Kellan's cock in time to his tempo.

Connor stared down at Kellan, chest tightening. It was then when he realized Kellan had wormed his way under his skin. Past the defenses he kept in place with client, but then Kellan wasn't simply a client. All those mornings of quick conversation and flirtation at school had started a slow burn, causing him to crave the man.

Once he had Kellan, he never wanted to let go.

Chest tight, he rocked into his lover, realizing the trust Kellan showed him that night. To be his first? He'd never viewed it as a big deal, yet it was in some odd way. No other man had shared the pleasure Connor now experienced. His gaze locked with Kellan's, and the air knocked from his lungs.

They slammed together, over and over, both straining toward the abyss. When they found it, they flew off together, both coming at the same moment. Fire tore through Kellan as he erupted inside the condom, every neuron in his body alight with sensation. Shuddering, he exploded again and again while Kellan's cum coated his hand. Through it all, they held one another's stares, desperate to witness each other shatter.

The first quiet seconds of the aftermath, he felt weightless. That time before the first gasp for air, when time stretches and souls entwine. Connor knew in that space that Kellan belonged with him.

He came crashing down to earth, knowing he was asking too much. But not asking would be a sin. As he dragged air into his burning lungs, he considered his words. Lowering, he captured a kiss. "That was amazing." He smiled. "You okay?"

"More than okay," Kellan whispered.

Carefully, Connor withdrew. He scrambled from the bed and crossed to the bathroom, disposing of the condom and washing his hands. Returning to the bed with a warm washcloth, he wiped the lube from Kellan's ass, watching his companion"s reaction. Kellan smiled up at him dreamily, cast in the fog after. Once cleaned, he slid back into bed and drew Kellan into his embrace as his mind raced.

The quiet was still but for the beating of his heart and the slow inhales coming from Kellan. Minutes passed, Connor unsure what to say.

What to ask.

"You mentioned you were a virgin earlier. Is Abigail not…" Fuck. Not that.

"Mine? She is." Kellan chuckled. "I amended my statement earlier. I was an anal virgin. Remember."

"I do."

"Abigail is very much mine. I never thought I'd have a child, but she came when I least expected it."

"Your wife is bi?"

"No. She's a lesbian." He chuckled. "I know, how did that happen if you're both gay?"

"The thought did cross my mind."

"Emma and I had a very dark period. Not our relationship—but work and family and stresses all piling together, one right after the other. One night after we'd both had a moment of devastation, we had much, much too much to drink trying to quiet the pain. I think we were both so desperate for affection and intimacy that we didn't care who it was. We love one another. Not romantically, but it's the closest thing we had to it. After, our relationship grew strained. It was a blunder we've never repeated, yet it was clearly meant to be. We were gifted with a beautiful daughter who I can't imagine this life without. Abigail brought us close again, and we've never spoken of that night since."

"I'm glad it didn't ruin your friendship."

"Me, too," Kellan replied. "Though, we're soon divorcing, so I don't know where we'll go from here."

"Why are you divorcing now?"

"We'd promised one another five years when we got married and it's been ten. We stuck with it for Abby. Now that Emma's father is gone, she no longer has a reason to hide who she is."

"Neither of you should've had to hide. You can both come out."

Kellan shook his head. "Me coming out would interfere with my father's re-election."

"You say that as if it's a bad thing. Maybe he should lose."

"Not as if the next man to fill his shoes would be any better. You know where we live."

"Youcould always run," Kellan said, grinning. "You did work for him in Washington. Helped shape his policy and ran his re-election bids."

"Noooo…I could spend the rest of my life never stepping foot in Washington, DC again and die a happy man." He chuckled. "Even if I did run, my father has too much dirt on me to allow that to happen."

"Besides you being gay?"

"No," Kellan replied. "That's enough, though."

"Come out. Run against your dad. I bet you have a few dirty secrets of his to use to keep him quiet. Maybe that and the other side would carry you to victory."

"I was not cut out to be a politician. It's bad enough being a politician's son."

Connor rubbed Kellan's cheek lovingly. "I bet… but you aren't beholden to him. You should be allowed to be free."

Kellan met his stare, silent.

"We could see one another when we got back to the real world," Connor murmured, trailing a fingertip down Kellan's arm. "What do you think?"

Kellan didn't respond, and Connor grew worried.

"I'm sorry," Connor said, moving his hand away. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "I must've misunderstood the signals."

"You didn't," Kellan said, rocking to face him. "I've enjoyed our time together more than you could ever know." He drew in a deep breath and released it. "I'm just not… I can't."

"You can," Connor corrected, eyes trained on one of the painted cherubs on the mural above. "But you won't. There's a difference."

"Maybe once my father retires…"

"He's only in his sixties. He's young compared to many senators. Do you think I'll wait forty years?"

Kellan growled, rolling back and punching the bed with his fist.

Connor sensed he'd get nowhere. Pushing would only lead to an argument. He scooted out of bed and rose.

"Where're you going?"

"To bed. We have a busy day tomorrow." Connor grabbed a few bits of his clothing from the floor. Sadness filled him. The thought of remaining would only make it worse.

"You'd really leave me alone? After…?"

Connor turned to eye him in the dark. Wounded, he'd wanted distance and a moment to quiet the thoughts in his head, but Kellan was right. He couldn't walk away after what they'd shared. Kellan had trusted Connor, offering a piece of himself no one had ever touched before. He couldn't leave in the wake of it. He dropped the clothing to the floor. "I don't want this to end," he whispered.

"I don't want it to end, either."

Connor crawled back into the bed. "Then don't let it."

"I can't," Kellan repeated.

Connor's chest grew tight, the ability to breathe undermined. He reached out, drawing Kellan into his embrace, even though his heart ached. Kellan curled into him and soon drifted off to sleep, leaving Connor to stare up at that ceiling and wish for the first time that he'd never come to Italy.