15. Matthew

Liamand I oversleep the next day, and it's a panic to get ready to go to the airport on time.

I'm glad to rush because I haven't gotten the answer to the question occupying my head right now.

How do I say goodbye to him?

Thanks for all the help and the fun?

The question haunts me as we travel as a group by minibus to the airport.

Liam's been uncharacteristically quiet the whole morning. I've caught him shooting glances at me, but then he goes back to staring out the window without saying anything.

"So you guys almost missed the bus. Big night last night?" Carl asks.

I turn away from his knowing grin.

I don't want to think about last night, how it felt making love to Liam. Because that's what we did. Made love to each other.

This is the thing. What's between Liam and me is not like the start of a relationship because I know him. It turns out I know Liam Jamieson really, really well, way too well for this to be the start of anything.

We know each other's history. Now, we definitely know each other's sexual preferences. We're comfortable with each other. We work well as a team.

Instead of the start of a relationship, it almost feels like we've landed smack-bang in the middle of one.

Does Liam feel the same? That question makes my breath hitch.

When we're at the airport checking in for our chartered flight, I receive an email that makes me flinch.

It's from Elite, with an invoice attached.

That's right. Liam was only here this week because I paid him to be.

It's the slap of reality I need.

Henrietta leans across the aisle to talk to Liam on the flight home, and I'm grateful. I lie with my headphones on, my eyes closed. But despite my peaceful setup, my mind continues to race. Every time my thoughts flit to last night, my emotions feel raw, flayed. The look in Liam's eyes as I moved inside him… Shit, I don't think I'm ever forgetting that.

I bite the inside of my cheek so hard I taste blood.

Our plane lands, and it's a flurry of disembarking with our luggage and making our way to the FBO.

"You okay to get back into the city?" I ask Liam. My voice sounds high-pitched, strangulated.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

My colleagues have already gone to line up for the valet service, so I take the opportunity to step away from them so I can say goodbye to Liam without their scrutiny.

"I guess this is it," I say.

Liam stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, this is it."

I bite my lip. "So the week turned out slightly differently than I expected."

"Yeah, it did," he says. His hazel eyes meet mine, and I try desperately to read what's in them.

"I'm going home for Christmas in just over a week," I say.

"I might be going home too," he says.

You want to hook up again then?

I leave the words unspoken.

Because how would we achieve that? In my parents' house? His dad's house?

Clandestine hookups in a town where everyone knows we're lifelong enemies?

Besides, continuing to hook up with Liam when I know I have feelings for him is the definition of masochism.

The silence between us grows, and I gnaw on the inside of my cheek.

"I better get going," he says finally.

He leans forward and sweeps a kiss over my lips. It's a gentle kiss, sweet and tender.

Oh, holy hell. My knees melt.

This is the sweetest kiss I've ever been part of.

He pulls away, looking down at me with dark eyes.

"I've given you a generous tip," I blurt.

His face closes over. "Is that for the extra benefits you received?"

"Liam—"

"Whatever, I gotta go. I'll see you around." He turns away.

I can't let him leave like this. I can't.

What the hell do I say?

I think I've fallen for you.

How can I say that to Liam Jamieson, of all people?

I trust Liam now that he wouldn't ruthlessly mock me if I told him that. But what happens if he doesn't feel the same way? Do I honestly believe there can be a future for us with all our history?

Doubt floods through me, engulfing my body, keeping my feet anchored to the floor.

And so I watch him walk away.

* * *

Reality sucks.

For the next week, I go to work, I go home.

I've always loved my apartment in a sleek, modern building in the middle of the SoMa district, within walking distance to work and furnished by a cutting-edge interior decorator in a minimalist contemporary look.

But after the snug coziness of sharing a villa with Liam, it seems soulless and empty.

It's not just my apartment that seems empty. It's my life.

It appears I left part of my brain on a tropical island with Liam because I can't focus properly. I'm too caught up in remembering the way he touched me, the way we laughed together.

I want to send him a message, talk to him, but I have no idea what I want to actually say.

In lieu of contacting him directly, I stalk him on social media.

Liam posts regularly on Instagram and TikTok, mainly videos about his clients celebrating their achievements, but he's often in the photos, looking impossibly handsome with a gorgeous grin.

He doesn't look like he's missing me at all.

Why would he? Hooking up with me was probably a pleasant, unexpected perk of a job he's not even thinking about now that he's back to his normal life.

Has he gone on any more fake dates? The thought makes my stomach hollow.

It hollows even more when I give in to temptation and scroll through all the comments on his posts. They're generally from other gym bunnies, flirty, admiring comments from guys who are almost as gorgeous and fit as Liam.

Guys who suit him far better than I do.

* * *

The day before I'm due to travel home for Christmas, I schedule another meeting to talk through the research I've done on the eco-reward system. I'm determined not to let my idea die, and I want my whole team on board with it going forward.

Paul is late walking into the meeting. He stops still when he sees the title of my presentation.

"I see Gen Z is still on their crusade to save the world," he says. He slides a smirk at the rest of the team as he takes a seat at the table.

I take a deep breath and determinedly ignore his barb.

"Thanks for joining us, Paul." I keep my voice calm as I flick to the first slide. "As you all know, I'm passionate about us adopting an eco-reward system. You'll see from the research that there's been incredible growth both in electric vehicle sales and carpooling apps. We need to adapt to reflect the new reality of our market."

Paul leans back. "I have no doubt your intentions are good, Matthew, but you're being na?ve. You're young. It happens. I was young once, too, although you may not believe it." A few chuckles break out around the table. People are grinning at Paul, and a sinking feeling starts in my stomach.

Shit. He's yet again using my age against me, trying to portray me as inexperienced.

Liam's voice is suddenly in my head.

You don't have to put up with that kind of shit in your working life.

He's right. I don't.

I own the company, for god's sake.

"You're right, Paul. I am young. But youth has never been a limiting factor in this company. I was nineteen when I came up with the idea for ParkLink. Sometimes, the benefit of youth means we have the power to imagine things that people with experience would dismiss."

"But—" Paul starts to speak, but I don't let him finish.

"I started ParkLink because I wanted to solve what seemed like an easily fixable problem. Some people owned available parking spots. Other people needed them. Technology lets us now solve problems like this in a way we were never able to in the past.

"And part of the problem our world is facing is environmental. So I want ParkLink to be part of the solution for that too."

"Matthew's right. We need to change with the times," Henrietta says.

I look Paul straight in the eyes. "I respect your experience, Paul, but I built this company on innovation. If that isn't a concept you embrace, perhaps this isn't the right place for you."

Paul splutters. "That's not what I'm saying."

"Good. Because I would hate to lose you if you're not on board with the direction I want to take the company."

I glance away from him to the rest of my management team, who stare at me, astonishment written all over their faces.

"Are we ready to hear the details of my proposal?" I ask.

"Definitely," Henrietta says.

* * *

I should be triumphant.

But when I get back to my office, all I can think about is Liam. I wish I could talk to him about what happened with Paul.

I think he'd be proud of me. The thought of making Liam proud ignites a strange feeling inside of me.

I'm going home for Christmas. If he also decides to go home, there's a good chance I'll at least glimpse him over the holiday.

What will it be like to see him? What will I say?

Before I went to Hawaii, I didn't think anything was missing from my life. Now, I have a giant Liam-shaped hole that I have no idea how to fill.

I rub my jaw and let out a huge sigh.

I try to focus back on work, but around four-thirty, I give up. There's no point pretending anymore. My mind isn't going to go back to work today.

One benefit of being the boss is I can sneak home early and no one will question me.

I'm just leaving my office when Henrietta intercepts me.

"I'm really excited about your eco-rewards idea," she says.

I shuffle my laptop bag from one hand to the other.

"Thanks. I appreciate your support."

She nods at my bag. "You're leaving early. Hot date with Liam?" She wriggles her eyebrows suggestively.

I swallow hard. "No. We…uh…broke up."

Henrietta tilts her head, disbelief running rampant on her face. "You broke up with him? Why?"

"What makes you think I was the one who broke up with him?"

"Because I saw how he looked at you. There's no way that guy was breaking up with you."

My breath catches in my throat. "How did he look at me?"

"Like you were an ice cream truck on a hot day." She shrugs. "Or, you know, his meaning for everything."

Disbelief ripples through me. I desperately want to believe her. Henrietta must see some of that desperation on my face because her expression softens.

She reaches for her phone and scrolls through it. "I took this photo of you guys on the dancefloor."

I vaguely remember her snapping photos that last night when I was so wrapped up in Liam.

But I've spent the last week trying to forget how it felt to have Liam's arms wrapped around me.

I don't know if I want to look at it.

She thrusts her phone at me, giving me no choice. Sure enough, the photo shows us dancing together, Liam's arms holding me close.

"He's…" Good at acting, I want to finish. But any words inside me die when I see the gentle smile on Liam's face as he gazes down at me.

I don't think anyone has ever looked at me like that before.

A lump rises in my throat.

Is she right?

Does Liam feel something for me too? Was it more than just sex for him?

My hands shake slightly as I hand the phone back to her.

But I can't get that expression on Liam's face out of my head.

I mean, I know he faked being a good boyfriend for my colleagues, but no one is that good of an actor, right?

I think of that last kiss Liam gave me at the airport, the lingering, sweet one that seemed so full of emotion.

And a question swarms my mind, tinged with hope.

Do Liam and I have a chance at a future together despite our past?