Chapter 35

[Ross]

I didn't like that Vee was dreaming about her late husband last night. Whatever was running through her thoughts, she was deeply disturbed and mumbling his name before waking with a start. I also didn't like how she rolled away from me, wanting space between us when we don't do that. We sleep close, parts always touching if I'm not draped over her like she's my personal body pillow.

This morning, she was quiet.

I don't want to be jealous of a dead man. He'd lost his life through a tragic circumstance, and that's nothing to be envious of. Still, he hadn't been a good husband from the bits and pieces Vee has shared about him. I hadn't been a perfect husband either, but I hadn't cheated on my wife. I'd loved Patty, but that love changed over time. It ebbed and flowed as I suspect marriages do. Given that I'd married Patty in my late twenties, and then we weren't together more than a dozen years, I don't know how our marriage would have fared, but I'd been dedicated to her and the boys. Devoted. Loving as best I could.

Last night's events with Vee are shaken up again, when the game tonight opened. The field honored the men and women in blue serving this city, along with those who have fallen. Maybe that's what triggered her dream. Losing someone so suddenly, so unexpectedly, has a way of haunting you. Hitting you out of the blue before crawling back into the box where you lock away those forbidden thoughts of someone you love who was instantly gone.

Morbid thoughts have me sneaking a peek in the direction of Vee's seats. She'd been absent the last time I looked but now she's back. She and her daughter look like they are deep in discussion instead of watching the game. Not that I expect her to watch every second. Hell, I'm not even a player, so it isn't like she can watch me. Still, it'd be nice to learn her eyes are on me.

A firm hand on my shoulder rouses me. "You still in there?" Kip asks from beside me.

"Yeah. Sorry. Did you say something?"

"I'd like to put in Royal." Flynn Royal was sent down to the triple-A after spring training, but we recently brought him back up to us. We're winning tonight's game 8-1 and one of our best pitchers has had a good run.

"Sure." I don't typically weigh in on pitching changes unless things are going downhill fast. Kip is the coach for my former playing position, but that doesn't mean I don't have thoughts about pitchers.

You can take me off the mound, but you can't take the mound out of my heart.

I wait out Kip's call to the bullpen, fighting the pull to glance in Vee's direction while the pitching change is made. I step out of the dugout to fist bump Harlan after he exits the hill.

"Good game."

He grunts. No pitcher likes to be called off, but to save his arm, it's the right move, especially when we're doing so well in tonight's game.

With Royal on the mound, he goes two more innings before our closer is called out and the Anchors finish with a W.

And I finally allow myself a glance into the stands, seeking Vee in my excitement at the win. She gives me a wave as the crowd stands and sings our winning anthem. Unable to help myself, I give her a single wave as well.

"Coach?" Adler startles me, turning my head in his direction, where he's facing the stands as well. "You got a girlfriend?"

He isn't teasing me, just smiling like a fool, searching for his wife as well.

I called Vee my girlfriend and it upset her, but I don't know how else to define her because the long litany of saying—she's someone I've fallen for and want to further explore—seems a little too detailed.

Isn't that what a girlfriend is, anyway? Maybe I am an old guy. Yeah, fuck that .

"Yeah. Her name is Vee." I nod in the direction just past the WAGs section. "She has season tickets," I state as if explaining why she isn't sitting in the section for significant others.

"Lucky lady," Adler claps my shoulder.

I snort. "Actually, I'm the lucky one." He has no idea how I started out with the belief Vee was my good luck charm, but I've come to realize that just knowing Vee is the real blessing.

Having her in my life is a gift.

+ + +

When Vee tells me she'll go to Philadelphia, I nearly drop the glass of wine she offered me. I'm thrilled. "What made you decide to go?"

Standing in her small kitchen, she simply shrugs. Her place is quaint and cute, very classic Chicago, but tight, and I prefer we hang out at my house. In fact, I have visions of Vee permanently staying there.

"I'd like to meet your sister, if the offer still stands."

"Of course, it still stands." I set down my wine glass and step toward her, bringing her in for a hug. Holding onto her, she settles into my chest, and I like how we fit together. How right we feel. I press a kiss to her head, and she tips back, lifting her face to me.

"So how does this work? I assume I fly separately, and I can't stay in your hotel room, without it seeming like something clandestine."

"Most guys share a room, and sometimes Kip and I do. Other times, we don't, but in general, we don't want the men having random women in their rooms, and we don't let wives and children stay with the players either."

I smile. "But I could purchase your hotel room, and then spend the nights with you which does sound clandestine." I chuckle. "Did I ever tell you Kip reads romance novels? I've never thought to ask if he's read your books, though. I don't want my best friend envisioning my girlfriend in the situations you describe."

Vee snortles in my arms and I grin. "It's not me in the books."

"It better not be," I joke .

Vee sobers a little in my embrace and lowers her eyes, placing a hand on my chest. "I saw one of Cam's old partners tonight." She twists her lips side-to-side, as if debating to tell me something. "He offered to help me with experiences , for writing purposes."

"What the fuck?" I tighten my hold on her. The comment is a reminder that Vee could be with anyone she wants to be. Someone else could help her with her writing. Someone else could warm her bed. Someone else could hold her, and I don't like that thought.

"He's a dick. He's actually married."

I tighten my hold on her. What the fuckity fuck?

"I'd still never consider him. And he's a dick," she repeats.

I don't want her to consider anyone but me for her. "If you need inspiration, you come to me." I squeeze her again.

Vee chuckles, toying with the front of my shirt. "I already do."

My mouth ticks up. "Are you writing about us?"

She shakes her head. "Not exactly, but I'll admit you have inspired a few scenes."

"Really?" Pride hits me. Not that I want our sexual exploits exploited but I'm glad she finds our relations worthy of her fiction. "On that note, maybe we should do some research."

Her brow tips. "For inspirational purposes?"

"I'm inspired," I tease.

"I could get inspired."

I love her playful side. " Could get inspired?" I chuckle. "And how could that happen?"

She flattens her hand on my chest. "I'm thinking it involves your tongue and then that massive—"

I don't need the details spelled out for me before my mouth is on hers and I'm leading her to her bedroom.

Fully inspired.