Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

" L ittle bird." She scoffed as she stormed out of the feed store. Beau would only be a moment behind her, but she didn't care. She wasn't his little bird—at least not one he held gently in his hands and cherished.

He viewed her as something broken and helpless. Something he had to cage behind closed fingers and keep close, because she couldn't take care of herself.

"Charlotte," he said as he spilled out of the store.

"Go get your stuff," she said over her shoulder. She yanked open the passenger door of his truck and glared at him, daring him to come closer. He seemed to sense the danger, because he stopped on the sidewalk. "I'll just sit here and wait. That's what you wanted, right?"

"Charlotte, of course not."

She vaulted into the truck and slammed the door, refusing to look at him again. Petty, perhaps. Childish, for sure.

But she did not need the mighty Beau Peterson to protect her. Or spy on her and send reports to Mason. She blinked, and everything in her life turned red. Charlotte took a deep breath and prayed, "Lord, help me to calm down."

Her heartbeat raced, and then it suddenly stopped. Her head felt too heavy and then too light, and she looked over to Beau. He stood on the curb, watching her with a frown etched in all the lines on his face.

Charlotte's throat closed, and she couldn't get a breath to go into her lungs. Whiteness started to crowd in around the edges of her vision. She pressed her first and second fingers together and started to lift her hand, but Beau was already moving toward her.

A moment later, before she'd completed the nonverbal sign that she needed help, he pulled open the passenger door and said, "Hey, hey, hey."

She slumped into him as she started to lose consciousness, and she hated her heart with everything inside her. Why did it have to betray her like this? She'd just wanted someone to see her for who she was—a strong woman. A good horse trainer. A valuable partner in life.

Not her faulty heart.

"I got you, little bird," Beau whispered. "It's okay. You just got mad at me over something silly, but your heartbeat will calm down, and I'll be right here."

Charlotte hadn't passed out, but her eyes had closed. She could still hear him, and the warmth of his body next to hers brought her comfort and a sense of safety.

"When you wake up, you'll see that I didn't mean anything by what I said to Mason." He sighed and stroked her hair off her forehead. "Dear God, how do I help her understand? It was nothing. A throwaway conversation while we waited in line."

He sounded absolutely agonized, and Charlotte didn't want him to hurt.

"I can't lose her," he whispered. "Okay, Charlotte? I'm not going anywhere, because I can't lose you."

She took one calming breath and started to feel more like herself. Then another. "I'm awake," she whispered, and she pushed against his chest to sit up straight. She felt too hot, sitting in the truck without the air conditioning running.

Charlotte looked over to Beau, standing there framed in the doorway of the truck. "I?—"

"Just let me apologize," he said. "It was nothing. Mason just asked me how you were. I said you were fine, and he pressed me. So I said you'd had a couple of incidents, but what I was going to say after that, before you interrupted, was that it was nothing you couldn't handle. That you work hard and got a headache one day, and you were doing great. Amazing. Phenomenal."

His chest heaved, and Charlotte did find him absolutely adorable. "I believe you."

"I—what?"

"Maybe I got mad too fast." She shrugged one shoulder and looked out the windshield. "And then I ran away, and I wasn't breathing, and—" She switched her gaze to his. "I do not need you to protect me."

"Of course you don't," he said. "But Charlotte, is it such a bad thing that I want to? Heck, I'd love it if someone protected me. Someone who makes me birthday cakes that we can enjoy away from the cowboy crowds, and thinks of me when she's shopping for shower steamers, and always thinks of how she can help others around the ranch."

He backed up. "I'll start the truck." He cleared his throat as he went around the hood. Behind the wheel, he started the truck and looked over to her. "I'll be right back. You're welcome to come in. We can go shopping anywhere else you want. Maybe head over to the outdoor mall to a different bath store."

Charlotte looked over to him, and she just wanted her slow, sensual afternoon and evening with him. "I'm sorry I got mad so fast."

"It's okay," Beau said. "I know why you did." He gave her a fast flash of a smile and then got out of the truck and headed back inside.

Mason happened to be coming out at the same time, and the two of them stopped to talk to one another for a few seconds. Nothing too long, and neither of them looked at her when the conversation finished.

Beau continued inside; Mason turned to his right and headed to his truck. Charlotte sighed and leaned her head back against the rest, a prayer of her own starting to stream through her mind.

Lord, I don't want to lose Beau either.

She sighed. "I thought I'd grown a little bit." As she sat there and waited, she really felt like she had. She didn't rely on anyone anymore. No, she hadn't liked sleeping in the cabin alone while Beau was out on the roundup, but she'd still had a few horses to take care of in his absence.

She could do her job. Not only that, but she was really good at it. "I love it," she whispered to the blowing AC. She did love her job, and she wanted to keep it for as long as possible.

Beau came outside, two small cases in his arms. "Do you love him?"

Charlotte wasn't sure, because she'd never been in love before. She knew she didn't want to lose him, and after he'd put the boxes in the back, he got behind the wheel to her saying, "I don't want to lose you either."

She reached out, relieved and glad when Beau immediately stretched forth his hand too. He captured hers in his, once again giving her a beautiful sense of safety. "You heard that, huh?"

She nodded at him. "Can we go to dinner now?"

"You don't want to try to find a shower steamer?"

Charlotte shook her head now, everything feeling soft. "I just want to spend time with you—and get some onion rings."

Beau smiled at her, really turning on his mega-watt grin. The one he used when he was flirting, and the one he used when he truly felt joy and happiness.

"I'll get you whatever you want to eat, my little bird."

"Thank you, Beau," she said. Their eyes met, and Beau leaned toward her. She did the same, meeting him for a sweet kiss over the console. His hand slid up her neck, lighting little fires in every cell he touched.

"You don't say my name very often," he whispered against her lips before kissing her again. He pulled back again. "I like it."

She ducked her head and settled back into her own seat. Beau buckled his seatbelt, and she copied him, so they could go to dinner for his birthday. She didn't want to be upset with him, especially not on the day he was turning forty.

"Did you talk to your mom this morning?"

He shook his head. "She hasn't called yet."

"So probably during dinner."

He backed out of the parking stall. "I can talk to her and Dolly and Amy tomorrow."

Charlotte looked over to him as he drove. "Do you miss your daddy?"

"Yeah." He nodded, his face hard and stoic. "Yep. A lot today."

"I'm sorry, cowboy." She took his hand in hers and squeezed. "I'm glad I get to be here on your birthday."

"I've had a lot of birthdays by myself lately," he said. "So I'm real glad you're here too." He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. The streets went by as he navigated them to the restaurant he'd chosen for his birthday dinner.

Charlotte's thoughts needled at her, and she finally turned toward him again. "Beau, do you think I've changed since coming to the ranch?"

"Yeah," he said easily. "Of course you have."

"How?"

"You want me to tell you how you've changed?"

She sighed, irritated with herself. "I just got so mad so fast in there, and I hate that I did. I feel like I've been working on that, and I don't know. Now I feel like I haven't made any progress at all."

"Everyone gets mad sometimes," he said.

"Do they? What would it take for you to go from zero to sixty and lose your temper?"

"Reckless cowboys," he said. Then he chuckled and shook his head. "Which is funny, because I'm pretty sure that was how I was viewed at one point."

"You and Ben." She grinned at him.

He pulled into Thompson House Kitchen & Bar, where they were eating that night. "Yeah." He chuckled. "Me and Ben."

"But you grew up."

"That I did." He found a parking spot and looked at her. "All the way to forty. I feel so old."

Charlotte giggled, but she secretly liked that he was older than her. He dropped from the truck and came around to get her door.

Beau opened her door and took her hand in his as she slid out. "Little bird?"

"Yeah?"

He led her toward the entrance. "Do you want kids?"

Charlotte hadn't been expecting the question, and a bolt of surprise shot through her. Her next step stumbled, and to Beau's credit, he didn't slow down or ask her if she was okay. He simply held her hand as she righted herself and waited.

"I've never really thought about it," she said honestly. Inside the restaurant, music played and people talked, and it was a loud atmosphere.

Beau had a reservation, and they got shown to a quieter table against the window. He took his menu, and Charlotte took hers, but instead of looking at it, she said, "I'd like kids."

He looked up. "Yeah?"

"Do you want kids?"

"I have for a while now, yeah," he said. "I just see my friends and their families, and it's become this, this…I don't know, this need inside of me."

She nodded. "Now that I'm at Three Rivers, I can see that I can live by myself. I can date and find someone to love, and maybe just now, I started to see a future with kids."

"Interesting," he said as he went back to his menu.

Charlotte found it interesting too, and she smiled to herself as she hid behind the menu too. I really have changed , she thought. And the man across from her had played a vital role in all of that.

She chanced a peek at Beau, and she felt something she'd never felt before. Her heart beat in a way she'd never experienced before, and she couldn't give it any other name but….

Love.

Just as quickly as that feeling had come and she'd classified it, an overwhelming sense of fear flooded her. She pulled in a tight breath, which drew Beau's attention. He raised his eyebrows, but she just shook her head.

And because he was so good and so kind, he went back to the menu without challenging her further. She'd talk about this when she could, and that moment was not right now, on her cowboy boyfriend's birthday.

No, she wasn't going to live in fear and ask him a bunch of questions tonight. She just wanted to be with him and share a good experience with him for his birthday. So that was exactly what she was going to do.