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9. CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER NINE

SERA

The man is the most annoying, pig-headed, oblivious jerk I've ever met.

Maybe that's why I'm attracted to him…we're more alike than I care to admit.

Hell, I didn't even realize how bad I was until Ender pointed it out.

Hello, Pot, pleased to meet you. I'm Kettle.

"Why are you calling yourself Kettle?"

"Because we're both a little hypocritical and alike."

"I didn't bring you here to teach me lessons. I brought you here to be my student."

"How do you expect me to learn anything and respect your wisdom when you don't follow it yourself? You say I keep myself apart and don't let others in when you've done it your whole life. And I get it. Sometimes the pain is too much and you don't want to risk adding to the pile, but Ender, for me to learn, you're going to have to trust me, too."

"Of course I trust you—"

"No, you don't. Trust is more than the truth. It's about confiding and sharing those worries we would rather bury deep inside of ourselves and ignore."

"Do you tell Fern your worries?"

Shitsticks.

"Honestly, no. I've only recently opened up to her and only pieces as I don't want to add to her plate."

"Exactly—you don't want to add to her plate. Why do you get to decide what's best for her and you?"

"I literally just admitted being a smidge hypocritical a moment ago," I grumble, crossing my arms. "You brought me here to work on this—not just fly and use my powers, but to stop hiding behind my fake smile and drive to help everyone. In that, we're the same. An endless desire to prove our worth because it was stripped from us when we were young. Both of us grappled to find acceptance in our worlds, even though my aunts loved me fiercely. You can't ask me for the moon and then only give me scraps in return. Our friendship needs to be a two-way street."

Ender squeezes his eyes shut and turns his head away.

"What do you want from me, Sera?"

Without thinking, I parrot his words from earlier at him.

"I want something you desire but don't wish to give me."

His hand trembles as he runs it through his hair, and I swear a look of terror flashes over his face before he closes off his expression.

"No, you don't. You don't want anything from me but your freedom."

"Don't you think if I wanted it that badly I would've already run?"

Ender snorts. "You know I would bring you back."

"I do, but I could be making this much more difficult than I am."

"That is true. You've been remarkable…acquiescent—but only because you now want to figure out what's going on."

Good grief, this man is worse than me!

"Do I want to know why you're lying? Of course. You're hiding something monumental, and I know it, but I don't want to know for my own, personal pleasure. I'm not a reporter who gets off on someone else's skeletons in the closet."

"Reporters come from that ?"

"It's a known fact. Nine out of ten reporters orgasm from garnering secrets," I deadpan.

"Fascinating."

"Speaking of orgasms, answer my question—what do you desire but don't wish to give me?"

"What does this have to do with orgasms?"

"Nothing, unless that's what you want to give me but don't."

Ender chuckles. "Trust me, angel, I would set this realm on fire just for a taste of your pussy on my quorvim, but it's not because it's something I secretly desire but don't wish to give you. I think I've made my attraction abundantly clear."

My brain scrambles as images of me bouncing up and down in his lap, on his cock, fill my head.

"You have not made that abundantly clear."

"Well, I just did. My reservations aren't because of me doubting or repressing my emotions, but rather, the need for your permission."

"Granted. Now let's talk—"

The Teraphim groans and lies down, smacking his head against the ground.

"Did you just tell me I could fuck you?"

"Sure did."

He scowls over at me from his supine position.

"You would have sex with someone you hate?"

"Pft, yeah—hate sex is the hottest. Besides, it's a moot point since you know I don't really hate you. Just strongly loathe your existence."

"I don't want to know how you know hate sex is the best because then I'll renounce my honor and start murdering people."

His flair of jealousy soothes some of the kinks twisted up inside of me.

It's like he has the same irrational reaction as I did when I thought about him being a good kisser.

"Ender—what do you desire but don't wish to give me?"

I'm not letting this go.

"Us," he finally whispers.

His answer baffles me.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"You only demanded my answer, not an explanation."

Fuck this.

I stand up and flap my wings. The air stirs around Ender, and he sits up as I rise off the ground.

Higher and higher I fly, twice the distance than before until The Teraphim yells at me to come back down.

Like the brat he accuses me of being, I ignore him.

In seconds, he launches himself like a rocket until he's hovering next to me.

"Get. Down. Now."

Although I've only had one flying lesson, I'm surprised at how natural using my wings is.

I feint to the right when he lunges for me, just barely evading his grasp.

"Bite me, Ender."

"You want me to fuck you and bite you—no wonder you left the gag on that first night. You're a kinky little brat who wants to be punished."

Even though I know he's trying to get a reaction out of me, I realize he's right.

I do want these things, even though I shouldn't.

"Says who?" Ender asks, reading my mind. "Humans? You're not human, Sera. Their views aren't all-encompassing laws everyone must follow. For the most part, they're just morally one-sided opinions of how a person should be. Why can't you want me to do the filthy things you secretly desire—because someone said it's wrong to want those things?"

"I barely know you."

"Even humans have the concept of lust and love upon first meeting. Just because something is rare doesn't mean it isn't valid. Every feeling you experience is an authentic one."

"And your desire for an ‘us' but not wanting it?"

"That has nothing to do with me thinking it's wrong. I want there to be a you and me more than anything in all the realms, but Sera, as an Erlking, I know things. I've seen the future, and us together simply isn't an option."

"Are we too toxic for one another?"

"To the contrary, actually. I think, with time, we would heal one another. Our pasts shaped us into similar creatures of resilience and resistance. My opposition is born from a need to protect you."

Irritation licks through me, and my wings flare out, unbalancing me for a moment.

Somehow, I manage to correct myself just as Ender reaches for me.

Our wings collide, and my thoughts scatter as my body pulses with pleasure.

The Teraphim growls, yanking me closer, hoisting my legs around his waist like we're standing on the ground and not hovering fifty feet from it.

His beak traces along my jaw, and I tip my head back to give him better access.

"I don't want you to protect," I grind out against the lust fogging my brain.

"Too bad. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to."

Does he mean protecting me or touching me?

"Both," Ender snarls, his voice laced with possessive intent.

Then he kisses me, and I writhe in his arms as he keeps up both aloft.

It feels like I'm going up in flames, consumed by this man, but I can't stop—don't want to stop.

Because I'm tired of trying to be someone I'm not, always bending my needs to please others.

Not because they make me, but because I choose to—I always choose everyone else.

But in this moment, I'm choosing me.

I'm choosing Ender.

I'm choosing us.

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