20. CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY

ENDER

This can't be happening.

"What have you done?" I rasp once my beak is free of the heavenly warmth of my mate.

Sera stares at me in a daze, still lost in the throes of her orgasm, unable to answer.

I stumble back off the bed, my claws digging into my chest, but the familiar pain does nothing to calm me.

"Ender, come here."

Her voice is a soft plea, like she's coaxing a wild animal to her.

"Undo it."

The command is as stupid as it's futile. Sera can't undo our mating bond—only death can.

Even then, our souls will be infinitely tethered to experience other lives together.

Unless she or I go to The Beyond, the permanent home for souls where they become pure energy and lose any of their former connections.

"Talk to me. What's so wrong about me accepting our bond?"

"Because…because without one of us, the other dies."

"Am I dying?"

"No."

"So it's you who plans to die."

It's a statement, not a question.

Sera's in my head now, sifting through the things I refused to say aloud, and she knows.

I wait for her wrath at keeping everything to myself, but instead, she heaves a heavy sigh, sounding just as tired as I feel.

"Talk to me, Ender. Explain why you never told me any of this."

"Your parents died protecting you. They knew you were special—fated to save this realm. They also knew it was at the cost of your life. Some might consider their actions selfish. One dying for many as opposed to many dying for one, but you were their only child. They thought if they removed you from the realm, another solution would present itself. And it did…me. I'm willing to take your place in the chance I can save The Veil."

"But you said there's nothing that can be done!"

"And it's true, except for that one piece of the prophecy, which I kept to myself. You asked me what kind of Seraphim you are, and I said I didn't know—"

"A lie."

"Yes. I'm sorry. You're a Guardian, much like the angels that humans extol on Earth. You're meant to protect. You bring life and light while I walk with Death."

"Ender, I know you said that your premonitions always come to pass, but you also said they're not set in stone."

"No, but if I keep seeing the same one over and over, it's all but a certainty."

"Maybe you've kept seeing the same future because you refuse to entertain another—one where we're mates and working on solving the problem together."

"I…"

My voice trails off because I haven't thought about another possibility, another future.

"Even though I knew we were mates, I never wanted to complete the bond in case something happened to me. It would kill you if it did, and I can't stand the thought of you dwindling away like my father—even though he was a bastard and deserved it."

"But that wasn't your decision to make. We both know how hurt you would be if I did something like that behind your back."

"You're right. I'm sorry. What can I do to fix this?"

"What you're doing right now—talking to me, including me. I get wanting to protect me. The same feeling is embedded in my bones. I would die before letting anything or anyone hurt those that I care for, but I also couldn't, in good conscience, make choices for everyone without their permission."

"And if they were making a mistake?"

"Sometimes we need to step back and let people eff up. Mistakes aren't the end of the world—apparently, space is—they're just tools to learn from. And I get what you're asking, what if someone is about to make a mistake they can't come back from…but Ender, I don't think those mistakes exist. The universe isn't black and white, good and bad, right and wrong. It's more nuanced than that. It has to be for any of this to work."

My little Seraphim is too wise. It's like she's taken the words that were inside of me and knew all along, but finally said them out loud.

"I want us to be mates more than anything."

"I know. I'm inside your head now, remember? You can't hide from me anymore."

Suddenly, I recall the night I brought Sera to The Veil.

She was so mad, and I all but commanded her to give up, to stop resisting the flow of life.

I realize now that's what I've been doing by keeping my secrets—I've been resisting the natural flow of events simply because I thought I knew how best to orchestrate them.

But I don't.

My abilities as an Erlking don't make me infallible.

"How can we try an alternative future?"

"Do you accept us as mates?"

"Yes," I answer honestly.

I already accepted that—I just never wanted her to, as well.

"Then we need to finish the bond, and this time, no teasing me!"

Laughter wells up inside of me, replacing the ugly knot of my worry.

"To clarify, you want me to…"

"Make me come on your cock."

Fuck, my mate is naughty.

My quorvim throbs with need, still hard from earlier.

Even talking did nothing to soften the rigid length.

Until I'm buried inside of Sera, I'll find no relief.

I wave my hand, my power pulsing as I unchain my mate from the bed.

After I positioned myself on the side, she yanks me forward, forcing me onto my back.

My wings spread out, and Sera all but purrs like a cat, rubbing herself against me like one.

"Let me explore."

The sultry request makes my quorvim jerk, and all I can do is nod.

She rakes her nails over my chest and down my exposed rib bones.

I shudder at the contact, fissures of pleasure spiking down my body.

Sera kisses my torso lightly, teasing me just like I did her.

Does she get off to it as much as I do?

"Mmm, I enjoy it, but I like it when you're in control better."

Her admission to my unspoken question has me up in seconds, but my mate swats me down.

"No! You can take control when I'm done. Please?"

Just the simple word is enough to make me lie back.

She continues to test my limits, noting in her head what I like most.

Cataloging future ways to set me on edge.

I can't help but feel a surge of pride toward her.

So pure but so naughty.

When she rests her hands on the tops of my pants, I freeze.

Knowing she'll likely do what I did, I take away the temptation by vanishing my clothing.

"Hey, that's cheating!"

Her outrage amuses me—did she think I was going to play fair?

But her tirade ends when I feel her examining my quorvim.

With a tentative hand, she reaches out to stroke the corkscrew length, and I groan.

The sound echoes around my room as I thrust my hips further into her touch.

"I've never seen anything like this—"

Sera's confession sends a fissure of jealousy bubbling through my blood.

Something she easily picks up on through our mental bond.

"Ender, your cock is fucking unbelievable. I've wanted you inside of me for weeks, but now…I'm at a loss for words. It's so big and thick, so perfect ."

Perfect.

My mate thinks I'm perfect.

After spending my early years hearing the opposite, her words wrap around my heart and release some of the pain lingering there.

"It stretches out."

I have no idea why I say this since I can't maintain it.

Once I let go, my quorvim springs back to its natural shape, but Sera tests it out, gasping at how long it becomes.

"Holy shitsticks."

Despite the moment, I chuckle. My mate has a strange obsession with fecal matter.

"It's just human swearing," she huffs in exasperation, and I wonder if I'll ever get used to her being my head.

But I'm not upset that she is. On some level, I'm relieved that she finally knows the truth.

And she chose me.

This wonderful, amazing woman wants me to be her mate, despite how broken I am inside.

"Oh, Ender. You're not broken. Sometimes life chips away at you, but those pieces aren't gone. I think maybe they're just lying there, waiting, until someone can put them back."

Someone like me , she whispers in her head.

And my heart skips a beat.