12. CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER TWELVE

ENDER

I'm fucked.

Guilt, regret, and desperation churn inside of me like an explosive cocktail of emotions.

Leaving Sera to sleep, I step outside and back into the night.

The air is cool and crisp—calming—but my mind whirls in a storm of chaos.

What was I thinking, touching Sera, when I knew the consequences?

But I've messed up more by letting her in and allowing her to see a part of me I swore to keep hidden.

Her presence is a lifeline, a tether to a future I abandoned long ago because it can never be.

But with every touch, every glance, I crumble a little more, and the weight of my responsibility smothers me.

I'm supposed to protect my mate, keep her safe from the darkness that surrounds us.

Yet, my need to be close to her is becoming a distraction.

I close my eyes, trying to push away the memory of her coming on my tongue.

Sera doesn't understand the full extent of the danger, nor do I intend to tell her.

She and The Veil are my top priorities, and to keep them safe, I can never have what I crave.

Because the mating bond between Nephilim isn't just a connection—it's a curse, too.

One that ties our fates together in a way that will lead to Sera's demise if solidified.

I've felt it in my visions—the bleak future where she stands by my side, only to fall because of me.

The thought of her suffering because of my selfishness is unbearable.

I have to stay strong, keep my distance, but every time I try, Sera finds a way to pull me back.

She was supposed to resist, but instead, she's let go like I asked.

And by giving my control, I feel my own slip away.

Sera deserves the truth, but I know her. She's loyal and fierce.

If she knows we're mates, she'll force the issue.

The only way to protect her is to push her away, to keep her at a safe distance.

But how can I do that when every fiber of my being screams to be near her?

I clench my hands into fists, feeling the familiar sting of my nails digging into my palms.

Duty and desire war within me, each one demanding precedence, and I groan, my wings drooping to the ground.

As if sensing my despair, The Veil heaves under my feet so hard that my wards threaten to crumble.

The wind howls, and the entire realm seems to collapse before righting itself.

I rush inside, but to my relief, Sera is still sound asleep.

No doubt treading air for as long as she did among other things wiped her.

But the fact that she can sleep through a veilquake of that strength is concerning.

Clearly I'm pushing her too hard.

Stealing her away and making her learn to fly isn't just a physical experience, but a mental and emotional one, too.

Add to that the many secrets she knows that I'm keeping, her poor brain and body have been working overtime.

I should've kept her in The Veil that first night she got her wings.

But I only just learned that she was my mate, along with a few other things from Ahnou.

Sera needed—needs—time. Time to adjust, acclimate, and accept.

But the veilquakes are only getting stronger, and tonight, the realm actually caved in on itself.

It's only a matter of time before it becomes swallowed under the outside pressure.

These past few weeks that I've been giving Sera space, I've tried to relocate certain creatures into different realms.

Earth is already overwhelmed with monsters, and while some humans accept them, many don't.

Unfortunately, Earth is the closest dimension to The Veil in terms of geography and gravity.

Other realms are too dense or not dense enough for the creatures that roam these lands.

Adding to the problem is that many of those who reside in The Veil can't leave.

Souls that've crossed into this world have only one choice—to go to The Beyond.

But that's not an option for all of them, and if anything happens here, they will perish.

Permanently.

The thought is nearly unconscionable. Souls are the purest form of life anywhere in the universe.

By their very nature and essence, they should continue on.

Instead, their existence is threatened by an invisible menace that no weapon can fight against.

Space.

It's a giant vacuum that suspends all the realms but can also destroy them.

If something happens in one part of the infinite expanse, it ricochets to another.

And I think this makes everything worse. There's no villain, no true bad guy to defeat.

It's Mother Nature at her worst, and I have no idea of how to fix it.

All my flashes of the future are ones without The Veil, nothing more.

I'm afraid if I spend my time trying to repair the damage, I'll risk everyone within the realm more.

Not having a place for souls to cross over will also be problematic.

As souls reincarnate, their numbers will begin to dwindle over time.

Without them to animate life, eventually there simply won't be any.

I'm killing myself to save something that doesn't even have a future.

The only consolation is knowing at least Sera will get to live her life.

Afterward, though…I can't handle the thought.

My hope is that a new Veil will be born from the ashes of this one.

Souls will need a place, and the universe tends to repair itself.

The biggest problem is that The Veil isn't just another realm—it's a crucial nexus point in the cosmic web of the universe.

It connects multiple dimensions, allowing souls to transition, creatures to migrate, and energy to flow.

When it collapses—and it will sooner than later—it will cause a ripple effect, destabilizing other realms.

The delicate balance that holds the universe together will be disrupted, and chaos will ensue.

Chaos that certain creatures thrive on, wreaking havoc in the wake of the disaster.

Since these snippets have unfolded in my head, I've consulted with every ancient text I could find across the worlds to no avail.

The best that I can do is try to stabilize it with as much of my power as possible.

It's a Band-aid that merely covers the issues and doesn't address the problem.

All it truly does is buy me a little more time with Sera.

But even in the short time that my mate's been here, the realm's deteriorated even more.

The pressure from the outside, from the infinite expanse of space, is simply too great.

Every prophecy I've had is one with a future without The Veil.

This absence leads to disaster as other realms start to fracture, boundaries blur, and chaos reigns.

The very fabric of reality begins to unravel.

And then right before I met Sera, the same, depressing premonition transformed.

Perhaps all wouldn't be lost if I could find a Guardian.

They're a type of Seraphim, and generally, very rare.

I've never known one in my lifetime, but if this Guardian existed, they could save The Veil.

At the cost of their own life.

No sooner than I realize this that I learn the Guardian is none other than my mate.

The familiar bitterness of the situation winds itself around me.

I have barely enough time to even teach her how to protect herself and none to make her mine.

Sera is brave of heart and strong of mind, though.

She'll stop at nothing to protect Earth, which will be affected the most after The Veil disintegrates.

My mate wants my secrets, but so much has already been placed on her shoulders.

I understand that weight—it's too much. It weighs me down until I can barely walk.

Which is why I decided long ago that I would take Sera's place.

As I've merged with the future in my mind many times, I know what to do, playing her role as a Guardian.

It won't be exactly the same, but it should be enough to keep the collapse of The Veil contained while the universe repairs itself.

I hope, because if it doesn't, then my sacrifice will all be for naught.