16. Jace Holloway

Chapter 16

Jace Holloway

I couldn’t stop thinking about Theo edging me with his body.

I felt like a sick pervert. It was practically the only thought that coursed through me. There should have been a hundred other things I focused on. Namely, the Nevermore case that didn’t appear to be anywhere near getting solved. Even with the earlier revelation of finding the link between the mayor and the blackmail ring, all I could think about was Theo Glass and how his hole made me explode like I never had before.

It was nearing addiction territory.

I wondered if he would think I’m a freak if I told him? He was sexually liberal—that part of Theo was obvious—but the other parts were more obscured. I’d gotten to know his body and a little bit of his person in the bathhouse, but that barely scratched the surface of who this tattooed and devilishly hot man was .

Sitting across from my Tinder date had only made my impulse to message Theo stronger.

So when he walked across the front of the sushi restaurant, I could hardly believe it. It was like I’d manifested him, even though I didn’t really believe in all that bullshit. And it wasn’t because I didn’t try it, either. I had tried everything when my life was self-destructing. Therapy, prayers, self-help books, everything. But no amount of thinking and crystals and manifestations and comfortable rooms with white noise and gently concerned therapists would have saved my dad, or dug me out of my mountain of debt, or pieced together my broken relationship.

This wasn’t manifestation. Fate, maybe? God?

Something put Theo in my path, and I wasn’t about to second-guess it. I told my boring and stuck-up date that a friend needed my help, and I had to go. He didn’t look the slightest bit disappointed. He probably sensed I wasn’t into him, either.

I hadn’t really been into anyone since Derrick left me. Why? I’d given my entire heart and soul to my high school sweetheart, spent seven years with him, dedicated it all to him, only for him to leave me the second my life began to crumble.

Men were dogs. And yes, I was included in that. So why chase any of them?

Except for maybe Theo. Goddamn, I wanted to chase him until I had his tail in my mouth again.

We walked to the nearby Chelsea Market. He spoke to me about his day, how someone at work had annoyed the living shit out of him, how he had to take his cat to the vet for a checkup, how he was thinking of picking up a new book to read.

None of it really landed, though.

All I kept thinking of was how tight his ass felt. How stiff it made my cock. I’d jerked off until my dick was sore the other night. I hadn’t done that since I was a fucking teenager, hormones raging, making me wild.

Fuck. He’d think I was such a fucking weirdo if he knew. I had to calm down.

“What kind of books do you like to read?” I asked him as we entered into Chelsea Market, joining the stream of tourists and locals that entered the industrial mix of shops and food spots. There were interesting sculptures and sepia photos hanging on the concrete walls, spotlit by recessed lighting and describing the vast history of the marketplace.

“Mostly nonfiction books. I like a fantasy now and then, but all the odd names throw me off sometimes.”

“Same here,” I said. That wasn’t true. I actually loved fantasy books. Devoured them.

So now I was lying to impress this man? What the hell was happening to me?

“Do you have a favorite read?”

“You’re going to laugh,” Theo said. He looked delicious today in a gray shirt with a low neckline and short sleeves that showed off his artful black-and-white tattoos. A silver anchor earring dangled off his left ear. His hair was recently cut, buzzed short. It highlighted that James Dean kind of jawline he had.

I wanted to rub my cock against it .

“It’s Britney Spears’ autobiography. I ate that shit up.”

That did make me laugh. “You didn’t strike me as a Britney fan for some reason.”

“I’m full of multitudes,” Theo said with a cocky wink. “I’m also a gay man who grew up closeted in the nineties. Of course I love Britney. I’m also fascinated by her story. How someone so powerful, so iconic, could have such a severe downfall and still survive it.”

“People are fucked-up. They all ruined her.”

“People are fucked-up.” Theo motioned into a candy shop. “Want to check it out?”

I nodded. I actually wanted to say no, I need to push you into a bathroom stall right this fucking second so you can drain my balls down your throat. “I love candy.”

“Same.”

We took a spin through the aisles of sour worms and rainbow jellies and hard chocolates. “So when did you come out?” I asked him as Theo popped a sour cherry gummy in his mouth without paying for it.

Oh, he was a bad boy. I liked that.

“In college. When I was twenty. I was actually outed. The guy I was sexting with blasted my photos online when I told him I wanted to stop hooking up with him. It reached my parents by the end of the day.”

“Holy shit. I’m so sorry. How did they take it?”

“My mom was already checked out by then. My dad—he’s ice. There’s nothing there. No warmth. He hit me across the face over and over again. Not for being gay—he didn’t give a fuck about that—but for embarrassing the family. My father is a well-connected man. He’s powerful, and he runs off an economy of reputation and power. He thought this would ruin him. I moved out after that. Haven’t spoken to him since.”

“Fuck…”

A young kid ran past us with a bag full of candy, giggling as his mom chased him to the register. We made our way out of the brightly lit candy shop, back into the crowded hall of the market, past a French bakery that displayed all kinds of colorful pastries.

“And your sister?” I asked.

Theo paused. He almost seemed surprised that I remembered he’d told me about her.

“She came with me. We split rent in a tiny shoebox of an apartment near here, actually. She was transitioning at the time, and that was another thing my father wasn’t supportive of. I wanted to give her a safe space, always had. So we left together.”

“Are you two still close?”

“She’s not with us anymore,” Theo said. A shadow crossed his features. “Em, she had a rough go at things. Harder than what I had to go through. She… it broke her.”

The pain was clear as day in Theo’s voice. I wanted to soothe him but understood that there was no way to ease the hurt from losing someone you loved.

“I understand. I lost my father. It was unexpected. He died on the job. It was when we were both policemen. I worked the same district—I probably would have been on the same call. I still wonder if things would have been different if I were there. Maybe I could have saved him. Maybe I could have taken the bullet.”

“Life is full of maybes. Or at least the illusion of maybes. I don’t think there’s such a thing. I believe everything was written down somewhere long before we arrived. There’s no point in focusing on the past. Not when the future is what’s ahead and the present is what’s here.”

“Very poetic of you.” I nodded, avoiding a shoulder bump from someone who had their nose buried in their phone. “I agree, though. For the most part. I do think we have the power to at least change what’s to come. If not, then what’s the point?”

“To experience life. To ride the ride.”

“So you don’t think we can steer this ride?”

“No. I don’t.”

I cocked my head. Theo and I were about the same height, and yet, for some reason, I felt like I was looking up at him. “I guess that would explain why we keep bumping into each other.”

He chuckled. “Exactly.”

There was a distant bell ringing somewhere deep in my psyche. Why had we kept bumping into each other? We were in New York City, not a small town in Kansas. I rarely saw my neighbors more than twice a year. Why was it that Theo and I continued to cross paths without setting it up? It had to be fate. Because the alternative was that it had been planned. But then that would mean one of us knew where the other would be. It would mean…

“It’s just weird. How that happened, how we keep crossing paths.” I decided to press the issue. We continued to walk through the crowd, down the steps, and into a brightly lit area where different vendors set up shop. There was a wall full of hats with quirky, risqué sayings on them.

Theo stopped to look at a blue cap with the words “Daddy, Please” written across the front. He put it on. “What do you think? Should I buy it?”

“It does suit you,” I said, and fuck, was I a sucker for men wearing hats. What was it about them that triggered some kind of caveman-esque desire in me to drag him into a den and fuck his brains out? “But yeah, about us meeting. It’s weird, isn’t it?”

He put the hat back on its hook. “I like to think of it as lucky. Besides, we live close to each other, we like to frequent the same spots. It’s not like there are a hundred different bathhouses in the city. I was bound to run into you eventually.”

“True,” I said. We continued past a stall full of dream catchers. He paused and ran his fingers through one of the more intricate ones. It had feathers dangling off the end. They reminded me way too much of the feathers that had been implanted into Julie’s back only hours earlier.

“Should we keep this party going, or do you have any other plans for the evening?” I asked. I secretly wanted him to say yes, of course. I already envisioned us spending all night together. I was getting hard just thinking about it.

He chewed on his bottom lip. Fuck. He was considering it. If he said no, it’d be fine. I couldn’t do much about work until I spoke with the mayor, and I wouldn’t be able to get in touch with him until tomorrow, but maybe I could at least go over the case files for about the thousandth time. Or I could just spend my night jerking off again at the thought of Theo.

“Let’s keep it going,” he said, hands in his pocket and sultry smirk playing across his face.

The sound of warning bells faded past the sound of the blood rushing down to my cock.

This was going to be a great night. I could already tell.