Elizabeth

Elizabeth

A ND NOW, UNFORTUNATELY,

I’m dead.

It was all going far too well for the second Eddie Winston

, I think as I drift.

It is not uncomfortable, it is not painful, there is just a gentle movement, like floating on a lilo on top of the water. I must have said my thought out loud because one of the angels attending me replies, What was going well, Eddie?

She’s dressed in blue. I had expected white. But the blue suits her nonetheless, and she smiles.

Oh, it was love, you see. And now I’m dead.

You’re not dead, Eddie.

Is it a limbo situation? I ask her. I must right a wrong before I can get into heaven? Not to presume that I would, of course. I wouldn’t want to seem presumptuous.

This is the Queen Elizabeth.

Goodness. Your Majesty. I thought you were … well, it makes sense that you’re here. But I thought you’d have insisted on some sort of segregated, upper-class heaven. I’m surprised you’re slumming it here with me and the blue angels.

She smiles again and says, sharp scratch.

What an odd thing to say. Perhaps it is a code. I ought to have read more of the Bible, really, to know what to expect. I wonder if there will be some sort of orientation for non-religious folk such as myself. What is the first one? The first book? Is it Deuteronomy?

Sorry? the angel asks.

Is it Deuteronomy?

Sorry, Eddie, I’m not sure what you mean, she says. You would think she would know.

I wonder where her wings are. They must be very small that I can’t see them peeping out from behind her back.

And Bella. Oh Bella. If she is here too, I will never forgive myself.

Your friend is just fine, the angel tells me. She must have a portal where she can watch the goings-on of earth. It’s you we’re worried about, Eddie, she says. Can you tell me what happened?

Oh, can I!

But I find that I can’t. There is nothing there, so I tell her the first image that I see – the clock tower.

Another angel I cannot see tells my girl in blue that the head brace can be removed. That’s nice. I wonder who he’s talking about.

And then my angel asks me to stay still.

I want to be obedient to show how grateful I am that I have ended up in heaven and not hell. So, I stay very still and there is an incredibly loud noise, like being inside an aeroplane engine. My ears, if I still have ears, must surely be bleeding. The angel, whose voice sounds tinny and distant

now, commends me for managing to stay as still as I am, though I don’t believe I could

move, even if I wanted to. The whirring is incredible. It hurts my ears, but I don’t want to be quarrelsome, so I let them get on with it. If only I’d read Deuteronomy, I’d know what they were up to.

And I find myself drifting again, on the top of the water, only the occasional thought of how loud the sound is. My angel pleads with me to stay awake, but oh, it is so comfortable.