13. Ra

Chapter 13

Ra

Ra had always gone after what he wanted, unapologetically. He didn't do regrets. Until now. Sex with Mica had been almost transcendent. Right up until he'd been cut off at the knees. That asshole. How could he feel used when he was the only one who'd got any pleasure from it?

When they returned to the Earth Stronghold, Mica didn't give him more than a glance before stalking off to his office or wherever it was he went when he was hiding from their shared living arrangement. Sometimes he wondered if Mica was sleeping there because the silence in the living area was relentlessly stifling.

And the worst part was that he still couldn't hate Mica anymore. His heart still skipped a beat when he thought of the bitter Earth Lord. The what-ifs were torture, and he'd never been a what-if guy. What if he'd found a way around the oath he'd sworn to his contact here? What if he'd tried diplomacy one more time before breaking out the big guns with that threat that sat between him and Mica like a poison tainting every word they spoke and every point they touched? What if he just apologised? Begged for forgiveness?

He knew nothing he said would sway Mica, though, and it would just lead to questions he'd sworn not to answer. It was too late to salvage now. Too many lies and hurts lay between them. All he could do was spend his time here balancing the scales in his own mind at least in the hopes he could assuage his guilt. If he could make Mica safe, take away the tension that never left the elemental's eyes and know that he'd left Mica's life better than he'd found it, it would be enough. It would have to be. Because Mica's actions at the Air Court showed he would never forgive him.

Mica might've stepped in to save him when Caelus attacked and held him like he owned him on the dancefloor, but that was driven purely by the potential mating bond between them and the connection forged by Mica's mark. Ra could feel some of Mica's emotions when he forgot to block them and what he'd felt throughout was heartbreaking. Mica resented the instinctive urge to protect him and was disgusted with himself for wanting Ra. Worst of all was the guilt on Mica's end because he saw the desire between them as a betrayal of his loyalty to his own people.

Enough. He wasn't going to wallow in this misery. Pushing aside the guilt and the knot of tension that was his awareness of Mica in the back of his mind, Ra got to work processing his scans of the Earth Stronghold, losing himself in the familiar lines of code. He stayed up so late his eyelids felt like lead weights were dragging at them, but something wasn't working and he was determined to find it. The scan didn't look complete and the code wasn't behaving as it should. Where the presence of the ley lines should have become sharper and more accurate as he progressed, they were instead remaining frustrating blurs that disappeared as soon as he looked at them.

He must've lost his battle with sleep at some point because he woke lying on the couch the next morning, groaning at the ache in his head from too long hunched over his screen. As he sat up, he looked down at himself in confusion. There was a soft copper blanket draped over his body and someone had taken his shoes off and placed them to the side so he could stretch himself out fully on the comfort of the cushions. There was only one person who would've been in the living room to do it and the ache in his heart grew a little deeper as he felt the familiar twinge of resentment down their connection. Mica's actions had been sweet, but the emotions they sparked were not.

Shaking his head as if it might shake the Earth Lord's presence from it, he staggered to the bathroom and turned the shower on hot and hard. As he waited for it to get to temperature, he flicked Kaia a quick message. If anything could drag him from this pity party he had going on it would be the niece of his heart, and he had an appointment he needed to keep.

Hey, K-bear. Let's do something today. Just you and me , he texted. He probably should've told her what was going on, but he didn't want to stress her out before he had to.

Her response was waiting when he stepped out. Yes! I'll find you as soon as I finish my meditation practice.

Perfect. Now he just needed to figure out how to get them where they were going.

Glancing in the mirror as he finished getting ready, Ra paused and took in the sight he made. He had another deep bruise on his neck from Mica's mouth peeking out above the collar that had drawn so much attention at the Air Court. Ha! If only they knew how Mica really felt about him they wouldn't have given it a second glance because they would've seen it for the lie it was. He couldn't help but trace the lines of Mica's mark on his skin, the copper tattooed feathers seeming to shift beneath his fingers as he traced them from his ear all the way down to his fingers. A self-deprecating smirk crossed his face as he felt a surge of arousal and possessiveness through the connection. Apparently, Mica could feel when he touched his mark. Locking his own emotions away as much as he could, he quickly went back to dressing. He was too fragile that morning to deal with any more of Mica's disgust in him.

Kaia was waiting in the living area when he emerged, and she threw herself into his arms with a laugh, clinging to him tight.

"Love you, Uncle Sunshine," she said as if she could sense the sadness in him.

"Love you too, sweetness. How'd you get in?" he asked.

"Earthshine opened the door right up for me. It's worried about you," Kaia said, concern in her eyes.

Ra sighed. The stronghold should not be letting people into Mica's quarters like that, no matter who they were, and he wished it had a little more sense than to worry Kaia when she was already dealing with so much. "I'm fine, baby girl. But I'm always up for a fun day out with you."

They used to do this in the City of Souls—taking off together for a day where they each ignored their responsibilities for just a little bit and ventured wherever their urges took them. They hadn't done it since the girl had been held captive and it was past time he rectified that.

"Yes! Can we go to the Tree City? Kim says it's beautiful but no one's had time to take me," Kaia said, bouncing up and down with the electric blue and cream of her feathers rustling out in excitement.

Ra smiled. How serendipitous. The only problem now was that he really didn't want to ask Mica to take him and the irritating lord had ordered him not to fly with anyone else. Of course, what Mica didn't know couldn't hurt him. Either that or the masochistic part of him just really wanted to see what the Earth Lord would do when he found out. Mica was sexy as anything when he got all angry and possessive. Not that he should be encouraging that.

When an unexpected knock at the door interrupted them, Ra decided fate had intervened to help them. Elysia, the elemental he'd been texting on and off after they supplied him with such a stunning suit, was standing there searching out Mica. Elysia had all Ra's sunshine, but without the side of bitterness he was suffering from. They were just an all-round genuine and bubbly elemental who spent their days making things grow, which was exceedingly rare. They were also the answer to Ra's problems for the morning.

"He's not here. I think he's hiding from me," Ra said with a smirk. "Want to help me draw him out?"

Kaia giggled from behind him and Elysia laughed with her.

"Sounds fun. What's the plan?" Elysia said.

"Kaia and I want to go explore the Tree City, but I need a ride and Mica isn't likely to give me one," Ra said.

Elysia smiled and gestured toward the balcony. "It will be my pleasure. Although if you're hoping to play hide and seek with your lord, he's not going to have any trouble finding you with that beacon of power down your arm and the collar round your throat," Elysia teased.

Ra rolled his eyes. Mica was not his anything. "At least then I'd see him," he muttered.

The green in Elysia's wings flared a sparkling emerald as they reached the sunlit balcony and drew on their power. The nearby vines climbing up the cliff-face outside stretched toward the plant mage and Elysia drew a complicated pattern in the air that had them forming one of the passenger slings Ra was used to back home, which weren't as common here because of how few humans there were in the area. The magic would mean Elysia could carry him suspended below them instead of in their arms.

"Worried Mica's going to get jealous if you hold me?" Ra teased.

Elysia threw their head back and laughed, the sound joyous and carefree as it carried across the jungle. "Absolutely. We have been friends long enough that I know where his boundaries are. He'd be all formal and grumpy with me for at least a year if I touched you like that and then I'd be sad."

"Stop trying to get Elysia in trouble, Uncle Sunshine," Kaia chided.

Ra ruffled her hair and turned toward the now complete sling lying on the ground. "Okay, K-bear. Just for you."

The air was warm and humid in the morning light but not as sweltering as it would be later in the day as the three of them winged their way the short distance toward the nearby city. Kaia peppered Elysia with questions about the sling they'd fashioned with their power as they flew and Ra was proud of the way the girl could articulate the fundamentals of how the magic functioned so much more coherently than before they'd come here already. He was even prouder when she had a go herself at weaving when they landed on the outskirts of the city at Elysia's urging.

"You've come so far, Kai," he said as she managed to control multiple vines to start weaving the sling for several seconds before losing track of them.

Kaia sighed as she looked down at the tangled greenery. "Not far enough."

"You are a credit to your teachers, Kaia. It took me months to even get the plants to listen to me. You've only been here weeks and they're willing to weave!" Elysia said, sparking a much happier look on the girl's face.

"Thanks, Elysia," she said softly.

"As much as I would love to explore with you, I need to leave you two here. I really do need to find Lord Mica. Although I suspect following you around might be a faster way to do it. Flick me a text if you need a ride back but I suspect someone might've found you and dragged you back himself by then," Elysia said, eyes twinkling as they clasped Ra's hand in farewell.

Ra wrapped an arm around Kaia as the two of them took in their surroundings. They were standing on one of the outer platforms suspended around the soaring trunks of the huge magically enhanced trees in the area. Bright flowers bloomed in the canopy, sending rich scents into the air, and the chatter of local birdlife was audible, despite the busy thronging of elementals coming and going nearby. There were three wide swing bridges leading off from where they stood. Those to their left and right seemed to head to quieter residential areas and the one ahead of them led into the busiest part they could make out, where the flash of various coloured wings was constant as elementals came and went.

He was a little surprised the elementals even bothered with bridges, but as he guided Kaia down one of the quieter bridges to the east, he quickly saw why. For those with less magic, they provided a way to transport goods in carts around the city, and for the very young living there, it provided a way to move about without getting into trouble in the crowded airspace that was filled with all the hazards of a jungle created to catch on unsuspecting wings and feathers.

Ra kept them circling east as he checked his sat-phone.

"Where are we going, Uncle?" Kaia asked, head craning as she took it all in.

"I have a surprise visitor for you," he said, finally spotting a ladder that would get them down to the forest floor. "Race you to the ground!" he cried out, leaping for the rungs as Kaia's head snapped round in surprise.

"Uncle," she laughed, launching herself into the air as he placed hands and feet on the outside supports of the ladder so he could slide down it like a firepole.

She beat him, of course, wings raised high as she dropped to the ground like an eagle launching at its prey.

"No fair," he teased. "Let's make it a foot race instead. First one to that frangipani tree wins!"

Kaia chased after him breathless and laughing. "That's not any fairer! Your legs are like twice as long as mine and I've got all the drag of my wings!"

He was too busy watching where he was going as they careened through the jungle to notice the vine twisting up to loop around his ankle and trip him just short of their destination.

"Ha! Got you!" Kaia said, racing past him to touch the rough bark of the tree.

"Did you just use magic to cheat ?" Ra cried, grinning so hard his cheeks ached. It had been too long since he'd just had fun, and even longer since Kaia had.

"You never said magic wasn't allowed," Kaia shot back at him, waving a hand to free him from the plant.

The two of them collapsed back against the tree, panting side-by-side, staring up at the shifting green of the canopy above.

"Who's visiting?" Kaia asked. "And did you ask permission first?"

The girl was too clever for her own good. "Sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness than permission," Ra said.

"I hope that doesn't mean you're about to spark an international incident. Again," Kairon said, emerging from the jungle like a shadow.

"Kairon!" Kaia cried happily, jumping up to hug the vampyr.

"It's good to see you, little one," Kairon said. "How have you been?"

Kaia sighed. "Oh. That's what this is about. I should've known it wasn't just a visit to say hi."

Ra came over and wrapped an arm around the girl, tipping up her chin. "Hey, none of that. Kairon was keen for any excuse to come."

"Why? Is he avoiding Lady Nerida again?" Kaia asked.

Ra let out a burst of laughter as he watched his vampyr friend give the girl a wry grin.

"Why are you teasing me when it was Ra who set all this up and kept it a secret?" Kairon complained.

Kaia laughed. "Okay, Mr Vampyr. Do your healy thing and make my brain all better," she said.

Ra wished it were that simple. Kairon had been working with Kaia for months before she left, so they knew it wasn't.

"I wish brains were as straightforward to heal as bodies, but sadly it takes time and effort to get all those chemicals and synapses shifting aim so they don't sabotage you," Kairon said, squeezing her shoulder. "Ra said you had another episode?"

Kaia nodded and sat down on a limestone outcrop of rock, pulling at a weed in the dirt. "Yeah. It was my own fault, though. I was trying to stress myself out to access my magic."

"And did it work?" Kairon asked.

Kaia sighed. "Kind of, but not really. I've made some progress with the magic now I've talked to Serena about it, but…"

"But the nightmares are worse now you've made yourself relive all that trauma again?" Kairon asked, kindness in his voice.

"Yeah," Kaia said as Ra forced himself to stand back and not intervene. He'd had no idea her nightmares were getting bad again. "It doesn't help that people here can be really awful about folks back home either," she added in a quiet voice.

"Who? What have they been saying?" Ra snapped. No one was allowed to make his niece feel sad.

"It doesn't matter who. And just the usual. Necromancy is evil, so I must be a terrible person if my uncle's a necromancer. Blah, blah, blah," Kaia said.

Ra frowned. "You know that's not true."

Kaia rolled her eyes. "Duh. I told them they're ignorant if they think that. Soulweaving is beautiful. Uncle Basti's power is a gift from those who passed before us and he used it to protect the entire world, so I don't know what they're complaining about."

Ra frowned. It wasn't surprising people still had such a negative view of soulweaving, but it was concerning they felt comfortable enough to bother Kaia about it inside the stronghold. The global summit meant there was now an edict in place to protect the rare soulweaving children from the kind of horrible prejudice that had been so damaging in the past, but attitudes like that showed just how far they still had to go.

"I couldn't have said it better myself. Bast mentioned you're meditating as part of your training?" Kairon said, steering them back on track. It was just as well, given the longer he stayed here, the greater the chance he'd be discovered.

"Yeah," Kaia said.

"Okay, I'm going to talk you through a guided meditation and weave some of my power through it that will reinforce the effects each time you do it. I want you to spend ten minutes at the end of each of your training sessions every day on this. It will help redirect the power of those emotions and memories in your mind so you have control over them instead of the other way around," Kairon said.

Ra sat back silently as Kaia closed her eyes to focus and Kairon continued to speak softly. He couldn't help with this. He was just grateful the vampyr's magic could do something. It made him wonder what Kairon might be able to do for the damaged stronghold if he had more time there. He knew from speaking to the vampyr back home that Mica had already declined the offer of further help, though. Probably a combination of the elementals not trusting the vampyr who had only recently come to the Melded Earths and Mica's instinctive need to keep the seriousness of the situation under wraps so they didn't inadvertently trigger the apocalypse they were trying to avoid. There was no point protecting the secret if it meant the stronghold would never be healed, though.

"Thanks, K," Ra said when the vampyr finished his healing and stood to bid them farewell. Kaia was still sitting with her eyes closed on the other side of the small clearing as she slowly brought herself out of the trance she'd been in.

"I'm just glad I can help. It's lucky we spoke when we did, because something here had been creating the wrong kinds of pathways in her brain. It's a bit like wearing away at a small stream bed until the river diverts and causes a flood. I've reinforced the stopbanks now and, if she keeps practising, the river will run deeper until it can't be pushed off course so easily."

"Look at you rocking the water analogies. Got a certain red-haired, tattooed elemental on your mind?" Ra teased. He didn't know what was going on between the vampyr and the Water Lady, but it was volatile whatever it was.

Kairon winced and cleared his throat. "You're lucky you're cute or I wouldn't be taking that from you. What about you? I saw the way Lord Mica dragged you off that dancefloor and those hickeys on your neck are delightful. Reliving your teenage years?"

"Okay, I deserved that. I won't ask you about Nerida if you don't ask about him," Ra said.

Kairon smiled and shook his head. "Nice try. I'm not living with Lady Nerida and she hasn't put a collar around my throat. Also, Bast asked me to check in."

Ra sighed. "It's under control, okay?" It wasn't. Not even slightly. He was standing at the bottom of a cliff staring up at a landslide about to bury him whole.

"Just look after yourself. Protect your heart," Kairon said, looking worried as he gave him one last hug before disappearing back into the shadows of the jungle the way he'd come. Tir would find the vampyr somewhere further away from the city to portal him back home to the Soul Court.

Ra didn't tell him it was far too late to protect his heart. It had been too late since the first time he'd stayed on a video conference with the Earth Lord for hours after their business was concluded so many years earlier.

Ra startled as Kaia's arm wrapped around his waist and the girl leaned into his side. Cursing to himself, he forced his mind back on his surroundings. They weren't protected here. He needed to keep his wits about him.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Much," Kaia replied.

"It would be best if you didn't mention this to anyone back at the stronghold."

Kaia snorted. "Yeah, I got that. Can we go explore now?" she asked, pulling him back toward the ladder.