4. Chapter Four

Lunch went as smoothly as it could with me angry at Heath, while Landon and Carey tried to ignore it. Heath took me and his family out for pizza, something easy and fast because the tension was probably too much to deal with. I had to be angry with him, but I didn't want to be. There was a difference. He spent the morning kissing me and couldn't bother to tell me the BSA was coming into my territory. I already knew I had to tell Hasan, and that wasn't going to go over well.

Once Carey was done eating, Landon took her somewhere in Heath's truck. I had to ignore her vocal protest. In some ways, she knew more about the world of werewolves and humans than I did because she lived in it while I was an outsider. In other ways, I knew much more about the supernatural world at large, and there were things I knew Heath kept from his daughter.

Even though I knew a lot more than Carey, I barely knew anything myself. Every day, that became clearer, especially when I spent time talking to my family, who were so deep into the supernatural world, I was certain they barely knew what it meant to be human in this day and age.

Heath and I went into his home, in a sense the only neutral ground, both my and Heath's territory. We walked into his office, me trying to continue to ignore his bad design choices with all the brown furniture. I couldn't get over that I really didn't like his favorite colors. Being internally distraught by his interior design helped me ignore the long, drawn-out silence between us.

He locked his office door as I sat down on a small loveseat. I could smell Landon the most, and picturing the scene in my head was easy. Heath would sit behind his desk, facing the door with the large window behind him. Landon would sit here, and they would talk about the family, things that needed to be done, or possibly me. Landon might even relax for just a moment, something I didn't think I'd ever witnessed. This room was his father's office, and he could probably be a son, not a werewolf, a second in command, or the older brother. He could just be Heath's son.

The idea of that image resonated with me because I had done the same thing when I lived with Hasan. I would sit in his office and read a book on a similar couch while he worked. For a moment, I wanted that again. I wanted to visit Hasan and just sit in his office, a refuge where I knew he would protect me from the outside world and let me clear my head.

"You look like you're thinking about something important," Heath commented, sitting beside me. "Care to tell me?"

"This couch smells like Landon. There's a couch in Hasan's office I'm certain smells like Niko right now. It probably smelled like me for a few years. Hasan would let me hide in his office if I needed to. I want to right now," I explained, not looking at my werewolf. "I don't like attention, Heath, and you put a giant spotlight on me."

"You've had a lot of attention since we met. I figured you would almost be used to it by now." There was a bite of annoyance to his words, which pissed me off.

"Getting used to it and liking it are two very different things. Carey is used to you serving her lima beans at dinner, but she absolutely hates eating them." I growled softly. "Even then, it's one thing to expose me further to the supernatural world and another to expose me to the human one. The supernatural world knows what I am, who I am. I'm a werecat, and there's an expectation I'm left alone. Humans? Heath, exposing me to humans could expose werecats to humans. I'm fairly certain neither of us wants to be the reason that happens."

A small growl told me Heath was listening but frustrated.

"I already apologized," he said stiffly. "I'm sorry. How much more do you want from me, Jacky? Do you want me to deny the BSA and CPS visitation with Carey? Because that will get her taken away faster than you and I could blink. It would be a firestorm. Imagine the headlines? ‘Werewolf Alpha has a human daughter taken from him over safety concerns.' Or ‘Werewolf Alpha resists human government's efforts to protect a human girl.' I'm sorry you were brought up, and they wanted to meet you. I am. I understand the reason why you're upset. I just…" He stood up and ran his hand through his hair. "There's nothing I can do. This is out of my control."

It hit me that Heath's problems and his annoyance had nothing to do with me, and my anger eased. He was right; he couldn't do anything. For a dominant creature like Heath Everson, it was eating him up. His apology was sincere.

"What else don't I know?" I asked softly, trying not to sound angry with him anymore. He was making it a point to beat himself up more than I could, and I regretted my initial outburst. "If there's anything…"

"Jacky, the depth of supernatural knowledge you don't know would take years to teach," he said, sagging back into the seat next to me. "Years. You don't even get the simplest of magics others use in their daily lives. You don't have fae contacts or know a local vampire nest, and I know you chose this region because many of those things aren't close by. You don't know what other supernaturals run in the area around you, in the major cities."

"I knew about you," I snapped, angry he thought I was so ignorant. "I knew about the Dallas pack and know about the Houston pack and the fucking Austin pack and the New Orleans pack." I knew where all the werewolves who could possibly be a threat lived.

"Why did you know about me? Why did you know about the Dallas pack, Jacky?" He leaned back, shifting his body, so his chest was toward me. His legs outstretched, and I found myself thinking about the moment I met Heath Everson in the back of a pack SUV.

"Because…" I looked away. "Hasan taught me to know where werewolf packs were located near me, so I could keep an eye out for trouble."

"Did he tell you how to get to the Market? Do you even know what the Market is? Or the Mygi Corporation and Foundation? The hospital where your family took Niko and Zuri after that explosion? You know just as well as I do, in some ways, you are just as ignorant as my daughter when it comes to the supernatural world."

I leaned over and rubbed my temples.

"Are you saying I need to start learning?" I didn't want to. I liked my home. I liked my simple life, even as it tried to grow more complicated.

"I'm saying you should think carefully when you ask what else don't you know," he clarified. "If you want to keep the illusion you live a simple life, you need to ask questions like that with much more care. I can teach you. Jacky, I can expand your worldview, but you might hate me for it…and I don't want that," he ended in a whisper. I saw his hand come into view before it dipped down and grabbed my chin. I didn't fight as he lifted my head, so he could stare into my eyes. His grey-blue eyes looked a little scared, a little hurt, very sad. "I don't want that."

"You said, years." I licked my lips. "Would about six years cover it?"

"Yeah? Maybe? Why six?" He frowned. I turned, breaking his hold.

"I left home too early. There was a lot Hasan still wanted to teach me. Ten years is the accepted amount of time for a new werecat to live with their…parent. I left his home and protection after four years. If you think I don't know how ignorant I am, you are sorely mistaken." I sighed, staring at the far wall. "But that's not the point. What I was trying to ask…Is there anything about you and your family I need to know? Is there anything you've kept from me like today that could put me or my kind at risk?"

"I…" He trailed off, a look of concentration coming over his face. "I don't know, actually. Nothing off the top of my head."

"Good. Since we're on the topic, and because you owe me for today…is there anything you think I should know, even if it has nothing to do with today?" I narrowed my eyes on him, waiting and wondering what his answer would be.

"There are…some things I might be able to help you with," he said carefully as if he was trying not to upset me. "But you could ask them of Hasan or any of your siblings, I bet. With Hasan's connection and position with the Tribunal, I'm sure he knows even more than me."

"I'm not asking him, though. What's wrong with you telling me?"

"Jacky, there have always been a couple of things I wished you did to protect yourself and Carey—always—but I never brought them up and don't want to bring them up because I know how you would react." He seemed so uncomfortable. "If I had told you a year ago, you would have stomped your foot and said I was trying to be your Alpha."

I flinched. He was right, I would have. I would have been pissed. Now, I was pissed I didn't know things—not that I had ever wanted to know any of it—but now it seemed like the safest thing. Better to live with knowledge I didn't need than continue to be ignorant. It was a lesson that should have sunk in years before, but I had gotten complacent. I had successfully lived with the limited knowledge I had. With the BSA sniffing around my territory, I had the foreboding sensation I couldn't live like that any longer.

"Jacky?" Heath's voice was so gentle and soft. There wasn't any dominance or indication the man beside me was a werewolf Alpha, based on the way he said my name.

"Sorry, I got lost in thought. You're right. I wouldn't have liked you telling me how to do anything, especially if it meant reaching out to other supernaturals or doing something different than I have for years," I said, sighing heavily.

"I know today really bothered you, but what else is going on?" He shifted closer, an arm going around my shoulders, not touching me, but over the back of the couch. It was such a startling change from the passion we had this morning.

I didn't like it.

I leaned into him, smelling how shocked that made him. For a moment, I wished we were human, and this could be normal. It wasn't and would never be normal, though. Nothing in our lives was.

With my head on his chest, I pointed at the bag I had dragged into his house.

"She was wearing a necklace with a rune of power," I whispered. "And it's making me…paranoid. She hated you, Heath. Hates werewolves. Tried to convince me or see if I did, too." I shook my head. "Yet she was wearing a rune of power. I don't know which one. I still haven't looked it up. I think…not knowing BSA would take an interest in your family and my life and her…it just freaked me out. I don't like having the spotlight on me, but it's here and…I don't know how to really protect myself from it. Maybe it's time I learned."

"Don't give up what you love and who you are because you're scared." His words were warm as his breath drifted over my ear. "The BSA is my problem. I don't want you to change or be forced to change because of my problems."

I turned a little and smiled sadly.

"Heath, it's not just about them," I said softly, moving so my lips grazed against his. Heat built as I searched for comfort. His breath was heavier as I spoke. "What about us? We have this secret and…" If anyone found out, we were dead. Not even my relationship with Hasan would save me. My siblings, as much as they might care in their own way, wouldn't be able to save me. Part of me wasn't certain they would try. Maybe Hisao would be the one who did me in.

"I know," he murmured. He was the one who leaned in as though I was some sort of magnet, and he couldn't resist.

Our lips met in a slow kiss, one that reminded both of us exactly what the problem was.

We shouldn't have these feelings. They're going to get us killed.

When the kiss ended, I sighed.

"Anything I can do that can keep protecting all of us is stuff I need to learn," I said, showing him just how freaked out the BSA visit left me. "This is my territory, and I swore to you I would protect you."

"You swore to protect Carey," he corrected. "I'll never ask you to protect me. I've been doing that pretty well for about two hundred and fifty years. I'm not a young werewolf. Neither is Landon."

"You live in my territory."

"So? I didn't move here expecting you to give your life for me. I didn't move here, expecting this." He lifted a hand and gently grazed the tips of his fingers over my cheek, the line of my jaw, and down my neck. Without warning, he gently tugged the collar of my shirt and revealed an old gunshot scar on my shoulder. "You have suffered enough for me. I really am sorry for today."

I pulled his hand away. The scars didn't bother me, not really. They weren't disfiguring, so I ignored them on most days.

"You mentioned one of the BSA has a rune of power on her necklace. The little mean one, Agent Robinson?" He didn't move, but he changed the topic so swiftly, I was nearly thrown off from shock.

"Yeah." I moved off the couch and grabbed my bag, digging to grab the sketchbook. "I should recognize it if I see it again, but some of these are so similar. Like, one line is tilted in a slightly different way similar." I sat on the floor, my back to the couch, and stretched my legs out with the sketchbook on my lap.

"Oh, that's going to make this hard." He slid down to sit next to me, shoulder to shoulder. "I saw the necklace, but I didn't think anything of it. People like obscure jewelry."

We started flipping through the pages. I knew Heath wouldn't be too helpful, but I enjoyed his company. I was rattled, but the anger was gone. The further I was away from what happened, the less likely I found it to be a problem. The BSA could look into me all they wanted. All they would find is a carefully crafted fake life and a series of lawyers to stop them at every turn, courtesy of Hasan.

"This?" I said, pointing a finger to a page, frowning. "No…It's got a second line here. I don't think the one she was wearing did."

"What's this one do?" he asked, leaning over, his dark hair blocking my view somewhat. "Conceal? That's all it says."

"I'd need to ask Jabari or Zuri. The descriptions in this thing don't make a lot of sense." I sighed and flipped another page. Then stopped, growling softly. "Fuck, if it was that one, that may mean she was concealed from magic. What if she…" I took a deep, angry breath. "I need to go. I need to take this to Jabari and Zuri now."

"She smelled human, and there wasn't a lick of magic to her scent. I don't think she was a witch," Heath said, moving back again and giving me the space to get to my feet.

"I'll let them know. She smelled human to me, too, and didn't register as a supernatural in my territory, but I need to make sure." I closed the book and shoved it into my bag. By the time the bag was over my shoulder, I was ready to go, and Heath was back on his feet as well. Before I could get out of the room, his arm wrapped around my waist and held me pressed against him.

"Are we okay?" he asked softly, his grey-blue eyes searching my face.

"We're fine. I'll figure this out, and we'll go from there." I chewed the inside of my lip, staring at his eyes, then dipped to stare at his lips. I leaned in and kissed him softly, letting him know everything was okay.

"I promise not to spring anything like this on you again," he whispered. When I pulled away, he held me in place.

"I believe you."

He wrapped a hand around my neck and held me close. Once again, I had no desire to move away. There was something heady about the way Heath liked to handle people, me especially. Even though the morning had shaken him as much as it had shaken me, he held me with confidence. A small arrogant smile crossed over his face as his fingers began to trace small lines on the back of my neck.

"Landon took Carey shopping," he murmured. "And your siblings are probably busy."

"They probably are," I agreed. Considering the time, it was their business hours, including Hisao's, even though it would be incredibly late at night or early in the morning for him. He was in Japan, so there was a chance it was already the next day for him, though I couldn't guess exactly because I was bad with time zones.

When his mouth returned to mine, I gave in, knowing we didn't have many moments like this. We barely found ourselves alone once a day, much less twice, and there was no denying I loved the way he kissed me. His hand on my hip began to push up my shirt, making his intentions clear. Obviously, he wanted to make the best of this sudden alone time, even more than I did. Maybe it was an apology for the bad morning. As my shirt went up and uncovered my ribs, a bolt of indecision ran through me, like it always did. I didn't know how to stomp it out. I wasn't sure I should.

What if I'm just doing this because I'm lonely? What if he's just bored with werewolves and humans? What if I'm just a shiny toy to play with? What if we're only doing this because it's dangerous?

‘What if' was a dangerous question, and the weight of it made me stop his hand and shake my head. He didn't make a sound, his lips not leaving mine, but his hand trailed back down to my hip, letting my shirt fall.

I slowly pulled away from him as his phone picked the opportune time to begin buzzing, drawing a long, slow groan from the Alpha.

"That's probably more news about werewolf stuff you don't want to know about," he said as he reached into his pocket to check.

"Saved by the bell?" I grinned and darted for the door, making it out before he could catch me.

I heard him chuckle behind me as I made it to my Nissan. He leaned in the door as I got into my car, smiling at me. I waved, then drove off, not looking back.