5. Astrid

5

ASTRID

A fter I finished reading the last paragraph of the chapter in the book I was reading on my phone, I set it down to focus on the remaining bites of my meal. It felt good to be out of my apartment, especially since I hadn't left it since the incident at the coffee shop. I'd powered through my writer's block and inspiration had struck, allowing me to finish the book on time.

Dinner out was my treat and way of celebrating.

That's what I told myself, anyway. While there was some truth to it, the harsh reality was that I'd been starved and my fridge was stocked with condiments and little else. Nobody wants ketchup with a side of Worcestershire sauce for dinner.

So, here I was.

While I knew some people thought eating alone in a public place was embarrassing, to me it was a form of self-love. I'd always thought there was something comforting about having someone else cook for me as well as eating in a place surrounded by others doing the same thing.

I shoved the last fry in my mouth as I dug my wallet out of my purse. Once I'd set enough cash on the table to cover the bill, I headed for the exit. Pushing through the double doors, I stepped out onto the sidewalk and paused, sensing something. My raven stirred as I noticed someone standing on the sidewalk close by.

Dean .

Immediately, I went on guard. Our last interaction hadn't been great, and I was willing to bet from the terse look he was tossing my way this one wouldn't be any better. Deciding I'd rather not find out, I tore my eyes away from him and headed toward my car.

My night had been too good so far to let him ruin it.

"Astrid!" Dean called out, and I cringed.

My feet faltered. His tone sounded heated already, and all he'd said was my name.

"What do you want?" I snapped as I spun to glare at him.

"I should be asking you that, don't you think?" he growled.

My face scrunched up, which I was sure wasn't an attractive look, but I didn't care. "What are you talking about?"

He erased the distance between us in a few strides, his long legs eating up the sidewalk like it was nothing. The man towered over me.

Why hadn't I realized before how much taller than me he was?

At five foot six, I wasn't considered short for a woman, but this man made me feel like a small child standing next to him. He was massive. Not only in height, but in muscles as well. He had to be pushing six foot six and two hundred-something pounds of solid muscle.

"Why are you here?" he demanded, standing mere inches from me.

The smell of his cologne hit my nose and I couldn't help thinking about how good he smelled. Then I kicked myself, because regardless of how good he smelled, his attitude still stunk.

"Umm. I live here," I said, not understanding what he was so pissed about.

He knew I lived in Crescent Creek. It wasn't a secret.

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head as though exasperated with me. "That's not what I'm talking about." His heated gaze drilled into me. "Why are you at the diner?"

What was his problem?

"I was hungry. Typically, people go to restaurants to eat when they're hungry and they don't feel like cooking," I shot back.

My irritation with him had reached an all-new high. I started to walk away, but he stopped me with his next question.

"Are you stalking me?"

I rounded on him. Was he being serious? From the look on his face, it seemed as though he was.

What an arrogant ass.

Never in my life had I been accused of stalking a man.

"What makes you think I'm stalking you?" I scoffed, meeting his heated stare. "Was I the one waiting outside a restaurant where you were eating acting like a creeper? No, I don't think so. Maybe you shouldn't flatter yourself so much, because you've done nothing besides make yourself look like a complete ass."

"I work here," he said.

I blinked.

Did I know that?

I wasn't sure it had ever come up. Being under Lucius's control wasn't all Kumbaya, love, and light. We hadn't been sitting around getting to know one another. It was a dark time for most of us—myself included.

"So, let me ask you again—are you stalking me?" he pressed.

"No, I'm not stalking you. I haven't even left my apartment since the last time I saw you," I admitted.

How ironic that I see him this time around, too.

My raven fluttered her wings, straightening her posture. I ignored her because there was no need for her input right now.

"Is there a reason you're so dead set that I'm stalking you?" I demanded, my gaze never wavering from his.

"Who you associate with is all the reason I need."

"What?"

I couldn't believe him.

Who I associated with?

I barely associated with anyone lately.

"Xander," he offered when it must have been clear that I didn't know who he was talking about.

I frowned. "He's my brother."

And we didn't associate. At least, not anymore. He felt more like a stranger nowadays than an older brother.

"All the more reason to be stalking me for him," Dean countered.

"Why would Xander want you stalked?" I demanded.

Had Xander seemed off lately? Yes. Did that mean I thought he could be capable of stalking Dean? Possibly. However, I didn't know anything about it if he was. I'd been holed up in my apartment the last few days hammering out the book I'd just finished.

Clearly, I needed to keep a close eye on Xander to make sure he wasn't getting himself into any trouble.

"What would he even gain by stalking you?" I asked, feeling slightly defensive of my brother, but also guilty because I didn't know what he'd been up to lately.

"You tell me," Dean insisted. "He's your brother."

I pursed my lips together. This conversation was going nowhere. Dean didn't trust me—and he damn sure didn't trust Xander—so no matter what I said, he wouldn't believe me anyway.

Still, my raven wanted me to warn him about Xander seeming off lately. It felt important to her for some reason.

"Listen, Xander isn't someone you want to mess with," I said, choosing my words carefully. "He's different now. I'm not sure how to explain it, but there's a coldness to him that wasn't there before. A darkness."

Dean scoffed, crossing his massive arms over his solid chest. "I can handle Xander," he replied dismissively. "I'm not scared of a fucking raven."

His wolf crept closer to the surface, changing the color of his eyes. They became a vibrant blue so bright they nearly glowed in the dark.

They were mesmerizingly beautiful.

"Don't stalk me anymore, Astrid. It won't end well for you. Be sure to tell Xander the same," he seethed, his hatred for us both simmering through his words.

"What's your problem with my brother?" I demanded. He and his wolf weren't going to intimidate me. "Better yet, what's your problem with me?"

He glared at me, a red-hot rage burning behind his stare. "Xander was Lucius's right-hand man through all that bullshit. Enough said. As for you—your easy compliance with everything makes you just as guilty in my book. I can't decide if you were doing it out of survival, or if you enjoyed the power trip like your brother did. Whatever it was, you didn't try to fight back as hard as the rest of us."

His words stung, cutting deeper than I'd expected and causing me to go mute.

I had tried to fight back, though. Maybe not as strongly as him or some of the others, but I had tried. In the beginning, at least. Lucius's mind control had been strong, though.

He'd been strong.

Stronger than me.

Xander, though. He hadn't fought. Not even a little. It was why Lucius made him his second-in-command. I'd only been at his side too because Xander was my brother.

Before I could explain myself to Dean, he stormed inside the diner.

With my heart thundering in my chest, I turned and started toward my car. The weight of the conversation pressed down on me. Even though I thought Dean was an ass for what he'd said, I still hated that he thought I hadn't fought back—that I'd been complacent in what had been done to all of us. The way Lucius had screwed with our heads wasn't right—the way he'd used us.

Nothing would ever make that okay.

Ever.

Heat spread through my chest, and my raven went wild. She wanted me to go after Dean, to explain myself to him, to let him know that I'd fought against the mind control like the rest of them, but I knew he wouldn't believe me.

Dean Voss was the type of man who only believed what he wanted, and nothing anyone did could change his mind.

He might be a wolf shifter, but he was stubborn as a damn ox.