1. Astrid

1

ASTRID

I sat at my cluttered desk where sticky notes and a variety of pens were strewn about, staring blankly at the laptop screen. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, but no words came to mind. The cursor continued to blink, mocking my crippling lack of inspiration. Releasing a heavy sigh, I felt the weight of exhaustion pressing down on me. Insomnia and stress had been my companions lately, and my head didn't feel like it was my own anymore.

Not since everything with Lucius.

I still felt violated and didn't think I'd ever fully recover from that situation. Having someone inside your head, holding you hostage mentally and forcing you to attack others like you were their personal pawn to use as they saw fit wasn't something you recovered from easily.

At least not me.

I didn't think any shifter had the right to hold that much power over another. Thank goodness Lucius had been dealt with by the Ashen Tribe weeks ago.

Even so, I was now in an intense hermit phase as a result.

While I'd always been more of a wallflower, my desire to be around people had decreased drastically as of late. It had been days since I'd left my apartment. My sleep was off. My work was off. Heck, even my raven felt off.

The timer on my computer chimed, letting me know it was time to get up and move around. I placed my head in my hands and exhaled a slow breath.

"I'm never going to finish this book," I muttered.

Being a ghostwriter had been my dream job, but lately, it felt more like a nightmare. There was so much pressure to produce quality work, and I wasn't feeling it. My creative well seemed to have dried up.

However, deadlines waited for no one—not even my muse.

Which meant I needed to get the ball rolling somehow. I glanced at my document, noticing the blank screen and blinking cursor. Overwhelm filled me. Rubbing my temples, I pulled in a few deep breaths, trying to push through the tension tightening my body, but it was like running through quicksand.

Impossible.

"This isn't working." I closed the laptop, deciding I needed a change of scenery.

My apartment walls felt like they were closing in on me. The air was too thick and heavy with the stale scent of despair. I needed to get out of here. Opening a window or burning a candle wasn't going to cut it. Working from my balcony wouldn't either.

I needed a coffee shop work date with myself.

It had been forever since I'd had one of those. A dose of caffeine and some new scenery should do the trick. I'd be filled with inspiration in no time. Plus, the idea of people-watching with the noise of a bustling café in the background sounded appealing.

Some of my best scenes with dialogue came from overhearing random coffee shop conversations.

After I shoved my laptop into my tote bag, I grabbed my keys and then gave myself a quick glance in the mirror near my front door. Dark circles rimmed my eyes and there was a general disheveled look to my appearance that went beyond lack of sleep and stress.

I looked like I'd been to hell and back.

"Lovely," I muttered with a frown.

There was no time for dabs of concealer or primping, though. If I was headed to the coffee shop, I needed to leave now before I talked myself out of it. The way I looked would have to do.

The drive to The Caffeinated Fox from my apartment was quick, but it still felt good. I'd forgotten how much driving cleared my head.

Why didn't I do this more often?

After all, it wasn't as though there was a shortage of back roads to venture down in this small town. My raven agreed. Driving reminded her of flying, which she enjoyed.

When I turned onto Main Street, it took me longer than I'd hoped to find a parking spot. Once I finally did, it was farther down from the coffee shop than I would have liked.

A walk might do me some good, though.

Grabbing my bag with my laptop and my wallet, I headed toward The Caffeinated Fox, trying to focus on enjoying the weather.

There was a slight chill in the air that excited me. Fall was my favorite time of year. I was all about wearing cozy sweaters, leggings, and boots. Halloween. Sipping hot drinks and having warm soups.

I loved it all so much it felt magical.

Swinging the door to The Caffeinated Fox open, I stepped inside and the first wisps of aromatic heaven hit my nose. There was no better smell. However, my moment of bliss came to a crashing halt as I noticed the line. It was nearly backed up to the door.

Wasn't that what I'd wanted, though? The place to be filled with chatter of people?

Well, it definitely was. Not only were conversations from everyone filling my ears but also the low-playing music through the overhead speakers and the grinding of beans.

Could I work in all this noise, though?

I'd spent so much time alone at home in silence that all of this seemed like sensory overload. While I'd wanted to have noise in the background while I worked, now I wondered if staying home, making my own coffee, and listening to a coffee shop background track on my computer while working wasn't a better idea. At least then I could pause it if it got to be too distracting.

This—there was no pausing this.

I closed my eyes for a second to get my bearings but was jostled from the side by a man talking loudly on his phone as he plowed right into me. Obviously, he hadn't seen me standing there at all. My raven ruffled her feathers, not liking being here anymore than I did. It seemed like deciding to work from here today had been a bad move.

Nope. No!

I wasn't about to let one jerk ruin my coffee shop work date with myself. I was already here, so this was happening.

Pulling in a few steady, measured breaths, I calmed myself. When I finally reached the counter, I ordered my usual—a large Americano—and moved to the side to wait. Closing my eyes once more, I attempted to soak in the atmosphere, letting it seep into my bones. Now that I was calmer, things seemed less overwhelming. The chatter of conversations sounded muted. The music was relaxing. And the hiss of the espresso machine actually sounded funny, causing a slight smile to twist my lips.

I needed this , I thought as I exhaled slowly.

When I opened my eyes, I spotted that a table in the corner had opened up. Perfect timing. I could sit and write there for a few hours.

"Large Americano," Cassie, the barista, called out.

I turned to grab my coffee and head to the open table, but a man grabbed my coffee before I could.

"Hey, that was mine," I snapped, shocked he was trying to steal it.

"No. It's not," he growled back, his words carrying a condescending tone. "I ordered this."

"A large Americano?" I demanded, my gaze never wavering from the coffee thief. He nodded slowly as though I were a small child and irritation sparked through me. "Well, congratulations for enjoying the same coffee order as I do, but that one was mine. I was here before you."

"And what makes you think that?"

"Because I've been standing here waiting on it and never once noticed you doing the same," I said.

The man narrowed his eyes, his mouth twisting into a deep frown. Something flickered through his expression and then he gave me a strange look. Half a heartbeat later, I understood why.

He had been one of Lucius's pawns, too.

I recognized him now. His name was Dean and he was a wolf shifter, but other than that, I didn't know much about him.

We continued to stare at one another. His jaw clenched as distrust or anger—maybe both—pooled through piercing blue eyes.

"Fine, take it." He thrust the cup toward me before storming away.

I stood there, coffee in hand, staring after him.

"Large Americano," Cassie called out tentatively. When I glanced at her, she flashed me a sympathetic smile. "This one's yours," she whispered, pointing to it.

Mortification rolled through me.

I'd chewed him out for nothing. In front of everyone.

Crap.

My gaze scanned those around me as my face flamed. It was clear from the way everyone stared at me that they'd heard me act like a freaking psycho over a coffee.

"Thanks," I muttered, grabbing the coffee that was mine while still holding Dean's.

I headed for the exit. Open table be damned. There was no way I was staying here for another minute. Not when I could feel everyone's eyes still on me.

I'd peopled enough today—and not well, might I add—it was time to go home now.

I headed for the exit, hoping I could catch Dean and give him his coffee before he got too far. My raven liked this idea. I wasn't sure why, but I figured I'd trust her, because trusting myself hadn't gone so well today.

As soon as I reached the door, I doubled back to the counter and fished out my wallet again to give Cassie a bigger tip and apologize. It was the least I could do to make up for the little scene I'd caused and upsetting one of her customers the way I had.