Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX

Archer

I t’s been three days since Easton walked out of my house, and I haven’t seen him since. I’ve texted him every day to check in, but he hasn’t responded. I’ve been giving him space because he has a right to that, but it’s getting harder and harder. I want to be respectful of his wishes, but I’m also not walking away from him. I think that’s what East expects, maybe even trying to make happen, but that’s not me.

It had taken every ounce of strength inside me to stop that kiss. I’d wanted my tongue in his mouth, wanted to lay him down, strip him bare, and make him feel good. Because I don’t think Easton has had enough good in his life, don’t think he’s smiled enough and been pleasured enough. There’s this unexplainable, feral urge to be the one to show him that.

My mind is on him while I’m writing tickets and taking calls at work. When I get off, I should head home or go see Cass or something, but goddamn it. I have to check in on him, so I make the quick drive to Dusty’s Collision Repair, trying to think of an excuse as to why I’m going there that doesn’t scream I kissed your almost brother-in-law, then told him no, and he stormed out .

The stalls are open when I pull up. I don’t see Easton, and while there could be a hundred reasons for that, my pulse speeds up. Has he not been going into work?

I breathe a little easier when I see his truck parked, then head over. “Hey, Dust.”

“Hey, man. How’s it going?” He wipes his hands on his work jeans and heads my way.

I try to discreetly look around the building to see if I can find Easton. Jesus, what the fuck is happening to me?

“Good,” I reply. Okay, so I probably should have come with a plan, but I’ve never done something like this before. “How’s Morgan?”

“Good. He’s getting things settled to start the remodel of the bar. He wants to do a lot of the work himself. I’ll help him when I’m off here.”

“If you guys need anything, let me know.”

He nods, looks at me, then cocks his head. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just…ah, hell.” I run a hand through my hair. “Is Easton here? Has he been okay?”

“He’s inside and, well, he’s been East, but a little heavier on the fuck-the-world mentality.”

I nod. I had a feeling. But I also don’t want to get into this with Dusty. I trust him, but East is like a brother to him. Dusty is with East’s brother. That makes things complicated.

Before we can say anything else, Easton comes through a door and into the main part of the shop. He’s dirty from work, and all tattoos and a scowl and sexy as hell. His eyes immediately run the length of me. I shift, my uniform suddenly feeling scratchy against my skin.

“How’s Casanova?” I ask, unsure what else to say.

“Who’s Casanova?” Dusty wants to know, and Easton glares at me. How the fuck was I supposed to know his new dog was a secret? And why would it be?

“Listen, Dust. Can you give us a second?” I’m hoping he’s not going to ask any more questions.

“No, we don’t need that.” Easton walks toward the car.

“East.” I follow him, hearing Dusty say something about running to the corner store for a drink.

As soon as he’s gone, East spins around to face me. “Fuck you, Archer. I’m at work. You shouldn’t have come here.”

Guilt attacks my insides. I drop my head back, eyes closed, and sigh. “You’re right, but you didn’t reply to my texts.”

“That should tell you that I don’t want to talk to you.”

“But I think we should. I have a feeling you misread what happened the other night.”

“It was a mistake. I don’t know why in the fuck I did that, but I don’t want to talk about it, and especially not here.”

“Can I swing by your house later? I just—”

“Why?” he cuts me off. “Why are you doing this? It’s not like we’re really friends. We both know that eventually you’re going to get tired of my shit, so why keep this going? Walk away now and save us both the trouble. You can’t fix me.”

I look at him, at the heavy rise and fall of his chest. At the pain in his eyes, the truth right there for me to see. He really believes that, really thinks I’ll walk away. I don’t understand why. He has his dad, though clearly, there’s some drama going on with him. He’s got Dusty, Morgan, and Rhett, who have never left him, but then, our brains aren’t always honest with us. Sometimes we feel things that aren’t true, and there’s no changing it. Not everything in this world makes perfect sense, and hell, I don’t doubt there’s a whole lot more that Easton has been through than I can imagine. He believes everyone will walk away because he doesn’t feel he’s worthy of any other outcome, and I damn sure plan to prove him wrong. “That’s not what I’m trying to do—fix you. And I’m not going anywhere. We’re friends.”

He turns away. “Stop saying that.”

“East—”

“Just go, Archer. I’m asking you to fucking go. And don’t come by tonight. I can’t…I can’t do this with you.”

As much as I want to stay and fix this, I have to respect his wishes. At least here, right now, but… “Okay, I’ll go, but this isn’t over. We’re gonna talk. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how much you try and push me away.”

And then I turn and walk away, though I hate doing it. I want him to know I’m a man of my word. That he can depend on me to do as I say I will. It’s the only way to get him to trust me.

When I get back into my car, I call Cass. When he answers, I say, “Hey, you free?”

“I’m always free for you. Actually, I just dropped Meadow off with my folks. Want me to come over?”

“Fuck yes.” It’s so damn nice to have someone I can always depend on. Does East have that? Again, I think he does with his brothers and Dusty, but I don’t know that he realizes he does.

Cass arrives at my place a few minutes after me. It doesn’t take long to get anywhere in Birchbark, and while I know that’s not for some people, I love it.

“You want a beer?” I ask.

“Sure, I’ll take one.”

We head out back to my fenced-in yard, where I’ve got a deck with chairs. “How’s our little lady?” I ask once we’ve sat down.

“Good, but you didn’t call me to talk about Meadow.”

There’s no holding back the sigh because he’s right. The thing is, I also want to be careful what I tell him about Easton. It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s not the type to like his business getting spread around, but there’s no one in this world I trust more than Cass. Whatever I tell him will go no further than the two of us.

“I kissed Easton Swift.” Might as well just put it out there.

He chuckles. “Am I supposed to be surprised?”

“Well, he kissed me first…and I kissed him back…and then I stopped him, told him it wasn’t a good idea, and he got upset and took off.”

“Okay, why did you stop it? You don’t want him?”

“I do. Fuck, you know I do. That’s not why this started, but yes, I’m attracted to him. It’s a complicated situation. The power dynamic between us is already skewed my way. I’m a police officer, and East has gotten in trouble with the law how many times? Plus, how often have I been the one they call to deal with him? I don’t want him to kiss me because he thinks he should or because he thinks he owes me.” Now that I’m saying it all out loud, I’m not even sure it makes sense.

“You have to trust him to know the difference. If he believes you’re the kind of man who would expect something sexual because of that shit, then he doesn’t know you.”

I see what he’s saying but… “You don’t know him like I’m beginning to. I’m not sure if anyone truly knows him.” I don’t think he knows himself. “He’s got a bad rep, and yeah, he’s done things wrong, but…” I think about those nights at the campsite. Seeing him cry and talk to himself. Falling asleep in my arms. Sagging against me like he doesn’t have the strength to hold himself up anymore. How he doesn’t think we are friends and expects me to get tired of him. “I think that man is hurt more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“Are you trying to fix him?”

“No. Hell no.”

He holds up his hands. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know.” I sigh, leaning back in my chair. “I don’t want to fix him, but I do want to be there for him. He doesn’t understand that’s possible. He expects me to walk away, believes he’s not worth it, and I think he’s doing everything in his power to make that happen—like a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“And I’m sure you stopping the kiss only fed into that—not that you didn’t have the right to do that. You do, and honestly, it was smart.”

Holy shit. Why hadn’t I thought of it that way? Easton saw that as rejection. He put himself out there, and to him, I didn’t want him. Why hadn’t I told him I want him?

“I need to talk to him.” Which I tried…and that didn’t go so well.

“You should, but I have to ask, just because I’m me. I don’t have anything against the guy. I don’t know him well, but are you sure this is a good idea? Getting involved with him? He does seem like he has a lot going on, and I don’t want you to get hurt. And could it cause problems with your job?”

It’s a little late for me to decide not to get involved with East. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to…and I don’t want to. Will it be easy? Nope. The truth is, I have no idea what I mean by “getting involved.” Do I think we’re going to be boyfriends? I can’t see Easton wanting that, and I’m not sure I do either, but I want something . I’m intrigued by him. We’re entangled in this way I didn’t anticipate, and I want to explore it. How we choose to do that, if we choose to do that, is up to me and East. But Cass is right about one thing: the higher-ups won’t like it. He’s not a felon, and that makes a difference, but he’s been in enough trouble that it’s a bad look.

I’m also not going to walk away from my friend because of mistakes he’s made.

“I’ll be fine,” I tell Cass because it’s the only answer I have right now. I can’t say what this means with Easton. I can’t say if it will go anywhere. But I want to be his friend. I want to know what it’s like to feel him beneath me too.

“I have your back no matter what. Whatever you want, I want for you, but think about this before you make any rash decisions, okay?”

I nod, but there’s not really anything to think about. I’m already too involved.