Chapter Thirty-Two

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Archer

E ast ends up staying in his program until the first week of January. It’s been hard without him, but I’m willing to wait for him as long as it takes. The most important thing is to have a happy, healthy East.

It’s a two-hour drive to the facility where East is staying, made even longer because of the snow. My insides are jittery with excitement the whole time. I’m so ready to bring him home, to hold him and touch him and just…look at him. Fortunately, my eagerness for him makes the drive go faster, and before I know it, I’m pulling up at the facility.

East is waiting for me in the lobby, and as soon as he sees me, his blue eyes spark with a sort of happiness I’m not sure I’ve ever seen from him before. One that’s bright and blinding and the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen in the world.

“Come’ere,” I tell him, taking long strides his way. He pushes from his seat, and I wrap my arms around him. “God, I missed holding you.”

“I missed you too,” he replies, burying his face in my neck and breathing me in, his hold around me tight, squeezing me to him, showing me he feels just as strongly as I do.

“You got everything?”

“Yep.”

“Okay. Well, there are two eager dogs waiting for you in the truck, so we should get out there and see them.”

“You brought them?”

“Of course I did.”

“Let’s go,” he says, almost giddily.

East has already signed all his paperwork, so we head out to the truck, the cold air biting at my face as we go. The dogs go wild as soon as they see us. I’d known I couldn’t leave them at home. They missed East too much, and he missed them.

As soon as he opens the door, they jump all over him. He kneels, petting them and loving on them, wrapping his arms around them as they lick and whine, so damn happy he’s back.

They knock him on his ass, but East just laughs, my favorite fucking laugh, and one I hope to hear a whole lot more now. I know things won’t be perfect. There will be good days and bad days. This is a battle he might be fighting his whole life, but I’m hoping for more of the good days for him. Whatever happens, I’ll be right there with him.

“Honestly? That’s how I wanted to react when I saw you,” I tease, making East laugh. I hold out my hand for him, and he takes it, letting me pull him to his feet.

Once all the wiggles are out of the way, we climb into the truck to return to Birchbark.

“Anywhere you’re gonna need to stop? You hungry or need to pick up anything?”

“Just home. They gave me a prescription for my antidepressant and mood stabilizer. My first psychiatrist appointment is already scheduled for next week, and I start seeing my therapist weekly on Thursday.”

I reach over and thread my fingers through his as I drive.

“What’s new? What did I miss?”

I talk to him about Gracie’s, which is opening this month. I tell him about baby Hazel. “It’s so cool seeing my sister as a mom. I can’t wait for you to meet her. She’s so fucking perfect, East…this amazing little human. I’m in awe of her.”

“You want to be a dad.”

It’s something we talked about, but that was before we were serious like we are now. The truth is, I would like to be a dad one day, but I want him more than anything else. “I want what’s best for both of us, what we both want.” Because I’m not sure that’s in the cards for him.

“I don’t know if I’d be a good dad.”

“You’d be the best dad. No one would love their child like you.” Because most people don’t love like East, so completely, so thoroughly. “Your heart is too damn big for anything else.”

He nods, looks down at our entwined fingers, then raises our hands to kiss mine. I’m not sure what the future holds for us, but now isn’t the time to make any important decisions.

“Have you figured out what you’re gonna do?” he asks after a moment.

“I might go back to school to be an EMT like Mom. That’s what I originally planned…before Travis.”

“You’d be good at that.”

I wink. “I’m good at everything, sweetheart.”

East chuckles. “It’s so good to be home.”

“Wait until we get to the house. It’ll be even better.” I waggle my brows.

He nods but doesn’t play along with my sexual innuendo. We continue to talk the rest of the way home, with moments of silence where East looks out at the scenery. There’s something on his mind, but I trust he’ll tell me when he’s ready. He’s already done more talking than he used to.

The dogs run in ahead of us. As soon as we close the door, he says, “I’m worried about sex.”

My brows draw together. I’m not sure what he means. “We don’t have to jump right into that if you’re not ready.”

“No, no.” He shakes his head. “I want it. I missed having you inside me so fucking much, that connection I feel to you. But the medication might eventually interfere. The doctors said it can mess up my sex drive. I don’t want to lose that with you, how it makes us feel. I don’t want to take that away from you either, and I’m scared it won’t be the same. That neediness I feel for you…I want it, Arch. Always. Want the way it makes me feel. I’ve lost so fucking much. I don’t want to lose that too. I talked to my therapist about it, and she said to be honest with you about it, so that’s what I’m doing.”

I can’t help smiling as I walk toward him, as I hold his face in my hands the way I’ve wanted to do so many times over the last few months. “You’re such a good boy for telling me that.”

He trembles, a soft moan sneaking past his lips.

“We’ll figure it out. All of it. Together. We’re in too deep, East. That way you need me, I need you too. That’s not something that changes, or gets fixed, because there’s nothing wrong with it. There’s nothing wrong with how we love each other. It’s every fucking thing that’s right in the world, even if there might be changes. If there are physical difficulties, we’ll work through those too.”

East pushes closer, presses his groin against mine, the thick rod of his erection rubbing against me. “There’s none right now.” He slides his hand between our bodies, palming my swollen cock. “I need you.”

“I need you too.”

We kick out of our shoes, then race each other up the stairs. I almost trip, and East laughs, this freeness to him that is exhilarating to me. The second we’re in our room, we’re tugging out of our clothes, naked together, kissing and touching, our hands eager and our mouths starving for each other.

“God, you feel so good,” I say, grabbing his ass, running my hands up and down his torso, needing to be skin on skin with him.

“You too, baby.”

I grin into our kiss. “Baby…I like that.”

“Figured I’d give it a try.”

“And?” I cock a brow.

“I like it too,” East replies, dropping down to his knees. He looks up at me, heat in his blue eyes, hand around my shaft, then kisses the head of my cock. When he pulls back, a string of precum goes with him, connecting his lips to my dick.

“That is the sexiest damn thing I’ve ever seen.”

He takes me deep, the hot suction of his mouth sliding up and down my cock. My balls ache, dick pulsing with the need to come already. It’s been so damn long since I’ve been with him, since I felt him, and somehow, he feels even better than before.

East jacks me as he sucks me, only pulling off to bury his face in my balls, sucking in deep breaths. “Missed the way you smell. Can’t get enough of it. God, I thought about it so fucking much.” He licks them and sucks them before taking my cock into his mouth again.

“You too, sweetheart. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to change the sheets after you left. Wanted your scent to linger as long as possible.” I cup the back of his head, feel the strands of his hair against my palm, push forward and fuck his face a little. “I want to come down your throat so bad. Want the taste of me on your tongue, but I need your ass too, need to fill your hole with my load. We both know that’s where it belongs.”

He pulls off me with a gasp, shoves to his feet, then tugs me to the bed. We fall onto it, kissing and smiling into each other’s mouths, as I fumble for the lube.

“You’re gonna have to get me ready a little, but then I want you to fuck me hard and fast. I need it so much. We’ll go slow next time.”

Because there will be a next time, and a next time, and a next time. We’re an always, me and him.

East lies on his back, looking up at me. I shove a pillow beneath his hips, then pump lube onto my fingers. He spreads his legs eagerly.

“I’m so fucking lucky to have you…that this is mine. You’re mine. You always will be.” I push my finger into him, our eyes never breaking contact.

East arches up, a deep breath whooshing from his lungs. “Been waiting months for this. Been holding my breath months for it.”

“Goddamn, I love you.” I fuck him with one finger, then two, twisting and opening him up for me. My dick is leaking, his doing the same against his belly. My skin prickles with energy, with this feeling of rightness I only get from him.

“That’s enough. Just fuck me, baby. Need you so much.”

“Christ, me too.” I pull my fingers out, lube up my cock, then press inside him, his body letting me in like it’s been waiting for me. It’s so hot inside him, so tight, made for my cock, as we stare into each other’s eyes while I fill him.

Somehow, the blue in his gaze is brighter than I’ve ever seen it, even more than it was when I picked him up, like everything about him had been dimmed before but now he was setting himself free.

I lean down and kiss his lips, once, twice, then pull back and snap my hips forward again.

“Needed this. More,” he begs.

I give it to him the way East needs, the way we both do, hard and fast, claiming. Taking what we missed and showing each other that no matter what happens, we’ll find a way to have this, to have everything we want.

I pull out just to tug him up. He moves so he’s on his hands and knees, and then I’m filling him again, fingers digging into his hips, East pushing back, fucking himself on me, taking what’s his.

“Oh fuck. God. You don’t even know. Nothing like having you inside me, feeling you and knowing you’re mine.”

“So fucking yours,” I reply, then tug him up, still on his knees, his back against my chest.

East turns his head so I can take his mouth, my tongue fucking into it while our hips snap together, his ass sucking me in, welcoming me home.

There’s a tingle at the base of my spine, a warmth filling my gut. I chase the sensation while wrapping a hand around his cock, stroking him and kissing him and fucking him.

East cries out into the kiss, his ass tightening around me, the hot spurt of his cum sliding between my fingers. My balls draw up, empty into him, my vision blurry as I twitch and fill him with everything that’s inside me.

We fall to the mattress together, a heap of sweating limbs, heavy breaths, and sated bodies.

“Come’ere.” I pull him to me, East automatically hooking his leg over my hip, kissing me while I push two fingers into his cummy hole.

We just breathe each other in for a moment, hold each other, before he says, “Feels like it did before…only…”

“Better,” we say in unison, smiling. It was perfect before, but some fucking way, it’s even better now.

“Will you move in with me?” East asks.

“Nowhere else I’d rather be. As long as you don’t mind that I’m unemployed,” I tease.

“I don’t care.”

“I can sell my house…”

“Yes. That. Do that.”

I smile and kiss him again, slide my fingers in and out of him, ready to take on whatever the future holds. We can beat anything as long as we’re together.