Chapter Twenty-One

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Easton

I don’t talk much as the family sits around the living room, chatting. They ask me questions and pull me into the conversation. When they do, I respond as I should, but I don’t think anyone would ever call me chatty.

I can’t stop thinking about the gift bag at my feet, what Meadow made for the dogs. The fact that I said she could come over with Archer and that Cass doesn’t mind. Also, the feel of Archer’s thigh pressed against mine, something he’s been sure to do the whole time. He’s stayed close to me, supported me, and it feels so damn good.

Dinner is delicious. Daphne’s a good cook, and again around the table, they tease Archer about how bad he is.

“He’s learning,” I say, despite having called him just all right earlier. I was teasing then at first, but now, even though I know they’re joking too, I want to defend him.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He winks, and my heart races. I wait for them to look at him funny for calling me that, but no one seems to notice or care.

After dinner, they decide we should all go into the backyard. They have a basketball court, and everyone shoots around, even Simone, but I linger on the sidelines, watching them. It feels like I’m in a TV show or book. I’ve heard of families like this, and Dusty’s is similar, but it’s different seeing it. How sad is it that it doesn’t feel real to me?

El?

Try and have fun, East, is all she says, making me shift uncomfortably. I pull one of the squares of paper from my pocket and begin folding a butterfly for her.

Daphne throws an airball, and the others tease her, before she says, “I need a break. You all are mean!”

I tense up when I notice her walking toward me. Archer looks my way, but I shake my head, telling him I’m fine.

She sits in the chair beside me, the two of us shaded from the house. “I know we said so earlier, but we appreciate your coming today.”

“Thank you for having me.”

She nods, and we watch the others for a moment. I don’t have to look to fold the butterflies at this point, and as soon as I’m done with one, I start another.

“You make him happy…I can tell.”

I want that. I want it so fucking much, even if I shouldn’t. And I know I told him we had to say we’re just friends, but no one at this house is stupid. They all know, and they don’t seem to care, so I admit, “He makes me happy too. He’s…good. Better than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Yeah, he is. I’m proud as hell of him—of Cora too. They’re good people, and they attract good people.”

My pulse races, throat feeling full. She’s trying to tell me she approves, that she thinks I’m good, and it doesn’t matter that she’s only saying that because Archer believes in me. It means something to me, more than I know how to say. “Thank you,” is all I can manage.

“That’s all most parents want, ya know? For our kids to be happy.”

That isn’t what Gregory wants, and though I never knew my mom, I have to believe it’s how she would have felt. “Did you know her? My mom?” As silly as it sounds, it takes me a moment to realize the words came from me.

“A little bit. I know she was kind. She cared about everyone. She saw things in people that others didn’t. And I know she loved her kids more than anything in the world. If you’re wondering about her, all that would have mattered to Allison is your happiness.”

I look down this time while working on the butterfly.

“I ran into her once when she was pregnant with you and Ella. She was getting ice cream with Rhett and Morgan. It’s before she got put on bed rest, and she just beamed the whole time she talked about her kids. It’s funny because we didn’t know each other well, but I remember her talking to me as if we were good friends. She told me she wanted to name you Easton, and she said, That’s a good, strong name, don’t you think? I’m not sure why that stuck with me over the years, but it has. And I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a creepy old lady, but I’ve always felt a connection to you after that conversation. Who knows if she’d had Ella’s name at that point yet, but she knew yours, and she shared it with me. Makes this whole friendship with you and Archer feel a little more special.”

My heart bangs against my chest, nearly breaking through to spill into my lap. Mom had told her my name. Daphne had liked her…and she’d always felt a connection with me. It makes me feel warm and bright, like there’s this light inside me that was dim before. I owe her something in return, but it doesn’t feel like a debt as much as something I want to share. “We’re more than friends,” is what I land on first.

She pats my thigh. “I know, sweetie. A mom always knows.”

“I figured, but I wanted to say it.” We’re both quiet for a moment, and then, as if she’s somehow unlocked something inside me, something that makes me feel closer to my mom than I ever have, I admit, “I remember you…with Ella. You hugged me…told me you were sorry, that it would be okay.” That’s not something I’ve ever let myself think about, not something I’ve shared with Archer. I’m so bad at that, talking about all the shit inside me. I can share it with El, but maybe it’s time I start trying to figure out how to share it with more people.

It’s not until a drop of moisture hits the butterfly in my hand that I realize I’m crying.

“Oh, Easton. I didn’t want to say anything. I thought so much about you over the years. That was one of the hardest days of my life. You have never left my mind since. Maybe this is weird, or hell, maybe it was meant to be, but you always have a place here with us. It just feels right.”

“I…thank you.” I swipe my hand over my eyes to wipe away the moisture, ignore the tension in my gut, and lean over, giving her a quick hug. When I pull back, I set one of the folded butterflies in her hand.

Then I stand up and walk toward Archer, and for the first time in my life, I have some small idea of what it’s like to have a mom.

“Are you going to play with us, Easton?” Meadow asks.

“Yeah, come play with us,” Archer says, and though I’ve never done something like this, I agree.

We play basketball for a good half hour before heading inside for dessert. When we’re finished, Cora says, “We should get home. I have to work tomorrow.”

Archer approaches Simone before his sister, hugging her and then whispering something to her baby belly. It makes my stomach shaky when I watch him.

“We should probably head out too,” Archer says, followed by Cass. Simone and Cora leave, and then we say our goodbyes to Archer’s folks, Cass and Meadow walking out with us.

“Thanks for having us,” Cass tells Archer. “And it was good seeing you, East. Look forward to doing it again.”

“Thanks. Me too,” I say and mean it.

I tense when Meadow gives me a hug goodbye. Without letting myself think about it too much, I open my hand, the second of the two butterflies I folded resting on my palm. “I thought you might want this.”

“Wow. Did you make this? It’s so cool! Thank you, Easton.” This time when she hugs me, my body isn’t too tight at all…and I even hug her back.