Chapter 27

This was strange.

Very, very strange.

And if I allowed myself to feel the fullness of it I'd probably burst into tears.

The strange being Easton in the kitchen wearing an apron with a silverback gorilla on it surrounded by the words Silverback Rule The Jungle With 6 Centimeters. This given to him by Bridget Keller. After everyone in the room—everyone being Theo, Smith, Jonas, Cash, Cooper, Kira and of course Bridget and Easton—finished roaring with the rowdiest laughter I'd ever heard, Easton pulled Bridget in for a hug. The hug ended with a gut punch from Bridget after Easton called her Birdie Bird.

None of this I understood.

The other strange was that the team plus Kira's husband, minus Layla and her husband (they had dinner plans with friends so they couldn't make it) were over for dinner.

At the safehouse.

This was strange.

Yet it wasn't strange because I understood what was happening. Everyone was checking on Easton after a shit day. And me. They'd made it clear they were there to make sure after I'd spoken to my father and spent hours with a woman who had faked her death, leaving me motherless, that I was okay.

I wasn't.

But everyone being there went a long way getting me there.

And Easton, he'd get me where I needed to be. I knew he would. He'd repeatedly told me he'd give me anything I needed and I believed him.

Fully and totally.

Kira was right; my soul recognized something my brain didn't. And my heart was faulty and couldn't be trusted. I'd shut that muscle down twenty years ago. It would need a lot of work polishing the rust off before I could trust it. But my soul…now that I trusted.

And my soul knew Easton Spears was mine.

I didn't need him to protect me or to complete me or any of those other storybook romance tales. He settled the noise, he steadied me. He didn't make me strong but he did strengthen me. He made me feel like I was on solid ground, totally free to be Nebraska Michaels. No rules. No lessons. No training. No Dove.

Just me.

I never realized how disconnected I'd been. I'd been living a double life, the two sides always at war. It was exhausting. I didn't want that anymore. A week ago, that terrified me. If I wasn't Dove, if I gave her up, then who was I? My identity was so wrapped up in who other people wanted me to be, I'd never considered I had a choice in the matter.

"Need a refill?" Bridget asked, bringing the bottle of red wine to the table.

I was told to sit and drink and commune with the women. Yes, Easton said commune when he ordered me to stay put after I tried to help him in the kitchen.

"I'm good," Kira answered from my side.

She, too, had been told to take a load off and relax, those being Cooper's instructions to his wife.

It was sweet. I felt lazy sitting there watching the men in the kitchen but I liked that they took care of their women. And the view didn't suck either.

"How much money do you think we'd make if we videoed that?" I stopped to jerk my head toward the kitchen. "Six hot guys in the kitchen."

"A lot more if we could talk them into being shirtless." Kira snickered.

"I heard that," Cooper called back.

"I'm down," Cash put in.

"Is there anything you're not game to do?" Jonas asked.

There was a stretch of silence but not long before Cash reported, "Nope."

"Let's not test that theory," Theo bit out.

"Dude, I don't know what your problem is, you're the one with the nine-inch pecker, Mr. Long John Silver."

I sputtered. I tried to swallow my wine. But I couldn't do it. It sprayed out all over the table while I choked on the wine that was already in my throat while at the same time busting a gut I was laughing so hard.

"That was my reaction, too, sis." Cash chuckled. "Who knew Theo was packing that kind of sausage."

"Sorry," I muttered and helped Bridget mop up my mess with my napkin.

She glanced up from the wine I'd spit out and smiled.

"Nothing to be sorry about, but I gotta ask—"

"Baby, careful. You open this door and they'll pounce," Theo warned.

Bridget smiled wider, making it brighter, adding a spark in her eyes that screamed trouble.

And with this group trouble could mean anything.

"Payback." Was her weird response. "I warned him one day I'd be sitting at a table with his woman and there'd be payback. The time has arrived."

I heard Easton's laugh. Funny how I wasn't looking into the kitchen and I still knew it was his.

"Told you, Birdie, I'm secure in my manhood. I can admit I don't need a sling to carry my nine-inch package around. It might be small, but he is mighty."

Small?

What in the world was he talking about?

"Six centimeters is not mighty, Silverback," she shouted back. "That's not even cocktail-wiener sized."

The room once again filled with laughter that made my insides vibrate—or maybe it was my laughter that did that. I couldn't be sure and it didn't matter—laughter was laughter, hearing it, feeling it, it was all the same. It felt good and nourished the soul.

"Are you talking about Easton's dick?" I blurted out.

More laughter, this time only from the men.

"His claim is that it's teeny-tiny," Bridget informed me.

"Well, he lied. It's huge."

Bridget sputtered and through her laughter yelled, "I want my present back, you liar."

"You doing okay?"

I cuddled closer, my belly full of the tacos Easton had made. The bottle of wine the girls and I polished off was making me sleepy. But I roused at his question—the third time he'd asked it since we'd been home but the first time since he'd put me to bed. I'd melted into him—not due to the drowsiness. What woke me was the care behind the question.

I didn't bother hiding or evading. Not that Easton would've allowed that. He'd find a way to pull the truth from me, but I didn't want to evade.

"She went to my graduations."

"Yeah, baby," he murmured softly, his voice thick with understanding.

"She called every birthday," I went on, telling him stuff he knew since he hadn't left my side the whole time I'd talked with my mother.

And by that I mean, he didn't leave my actual side—he stayed close, holding my hand or wrapping his arm around my shoulder. This after he'd stood strong while I burrowed into him, the pain of seeing my mother so great it sliced through me. And Easton took the anguish and gave me something beautiful in return—protection, peace, safety, concern. I knew with him by my side, if it had been too much, if the hurt cut too deep, if Anna had said anything that caused so much as a flinch from me, Easton would've unapologetically whisked me away.

Easton remained quiet, but his hand on my hip gave me a squeeze.

I blew out a breath and gave him what he was after.

"I don't know what I'm feeling. That's not me prevaricating, I truly don't know. On one hand it makes it worse knowing she called, she went to my graduations, she'd sought me out and found me at restaurants and sat close without me knowing. But somehow it makes it a little better knowing she cared, and in the only way she felt she could she kept me close. Knowing all of that means I know Charlie lied about more than her being dead. But I'm starting to come to the understanding he did what he felt he had to do. I don't agree with his decisions but I can't deny he might've been right to keep her secret. It might've made it harder if I knew she was alive but I couldn't see her. And I definitely would've looked for her. So really there's no might have. He was just plain right keeping the truth from me. And I don't know what to do with that."

"Makes sense."

I nodded against his chest, marveling in the way we fit. From the first morning I'd woken up to him that had been the case. The fit had nothing to do with the way we physically fit together, though I loved that we did. It was what the physical closeness said that made the fit so perfect. Two people who had been cast adrift finding each other. Never experiencing true, deep, abiding love from the people who brought us into this world—though evidence was suggesting I did have that from my mother even if that love came with pain. She'd left to keep me safe. Charlie did love me in his own way, but it wasn't enough. I figured with all that we had and didn't have we'd recognize the bounty of having it now. At least I did, and from all that Easton had given me, I believed he understood how we fit and knew how special it was.

"You didn't leave Anna with much when you left," he noted.

He was correct. I didn't close the door on a future but neither did I welcome mommy home after two decades with declarations of inviting her into my life.

"I only make promises I know for a fact I can keep, and I'm not sure how I feel right now and I'm not sure if I'll know what I want in a week or a month. I just don't know. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel differently and I'll call her and ask her what she wants for the future. Maybe that call won't happen for years. What I am sure about is that call is mine to make and I'll make it when I'm ready. I've spent too much of my life doing things to make others happy or proud or doing them to earn the love and respect from people who I shouldn't have had to do that for. I was trained into who I became, not guided with care and love."

Easton lay there quietly.

Just his fingertips gently sweeping over my hip, down my thigh as far as he could reach, then back up. Giving me sweet. Giving me quiet. Giving me calm. All of this after a shitty day that had broken me but didn't destroy me. Easton had made sure of that, and he continued when he announced to everyone it was time to leave when he saw me stifle a yawn. He continued when he guided me to our room after we'd said our goodbyes then told me to get ready for bed while he helped Smith lock up. He came back just as I was coming out of the bathroom, and continued taking care of me, giving me what I needed when he pulled back the bedclothes, helped me in, tucked me in, then went to get ready for bed himself. When he came back out, he hit the lights, got in next to me, and curled me into his side, commencing in giving me more.

This.

No sex. No kissing. No grouping. No wild.

Sweet. Quiet. Calm.

I couldn't say for certain but I was pretty sure there wasn't another man on the planet who was as perfect as Easton. However, I was certain there was no one else who was perfect for me.

And he should know that.

"I'm falling for you," I whispered.

"Good," he softly returned and kissed the top of my head. "It would suck standing down here all by myself and you not nearing the edge so I could catch you."

Did he…

Did that mean…

He kept his mouth where it was, when he continued to give me everything.

"When you're ready, I'll catch you, baby. You got my promise on that."

Trust me.

You got my promise.

I closed my eyes, held on tight, and jumped.

The fall wasn't far.

But lying there in Easton's arms, he fulfilled his promise to catch me.