Chapter 11

It was time for answers.

The thirty-minute drive from the apartment we'd met Amani at to our safehouse was tense.

Tense and silent.

I was under no illusion Nebraska was using the silence as a way to digest what Amani had told her. Nope, not The Dove; she was scheming. Using the quiet to come up with her next play. She was smart, cunning, resourceful. She knew she would be drilled as soon as we got to where we were going. She'd sat in the back of the car and made good use of her time.

As soon as Smith closed the door behind us, I went at her. "Who's Badger?"

Her right eye twitched.

She was expecting me to start with Dutch.

"The last person you want to see."

I'd heard something similar to that already.

"Yeah, your dad already gave me that. But who is he and why doesn't Zane like him?"

Nebraska averted her eyes under the pretense she was taking in the small living room.

"Nebraska," I called back her attention. "Badger?"

"Can we sit?" she stalled.

"We can sit. We can stand. We can eat, drink, do fucking handstands for all I care as long as you start talking."

Her eyes whipped back to me and narrowed.

"Not only are you a dick but you're a sarcastic one, too."

Smith chuckled and tossed his backpack on the smaller of the two couches.

There was a lot of furniture shoved into the small area. A two-seater couch, one that sat three, two armchairs, and three stuffed squares I'd heard called poufs. There was also a rectangle table that ate up too much space between the seating selections, meaning anyone over five-foot would have no leg room. None of this furniture matched. The fabric and colors were anything but complimentary. At least the white walls didn't add to the dizzying ugliness.

"I can show you my—"

Nebraska's hand came up, palm out in my direction, to stop my threat.

I ignored her hand and Smith's renewed laughter and went on. "I was going to offer to show you just how sarcastic I can be but you went straight to thinking I was offering to show my dick. So, once again, I have to ask—"

Nebraska's cute girl growl cut off the rest of my taunt.

As much fun as it was knocking her off balance, I was more interested in Badger. And why Carver mentioned Dutch. And who Black was.

"If you don't want to talk about Badger you can tell us about Dutch. Or why Maddon thinks the truth will ruin Zane. Or you could explain who Black is."

Nebraska's shoulders stiffened.

Bingo.

"Why would chaos end Black?" Smith joined. "And what would Dutch need to rebuild?"

For the first time since I'd met Nebraska she looked genuinely scared.

Trapped.

Her eyes were her tell. When she was taken off-guard her right eye twitched. When she was backed into a corner they became blank, almost unfocused.

Smith's phone rang, pulling Nebraska from her trance. Stark relief shone in her eyes.

"Zane," Smith muttered.

The reprieve she was hoping for vanished and her whole body went back on alert.

I knew that feeling.

The one where your muscles strain to keep you upright and you mentally brace for the worst.

What was her issue with Zane? He wasn't the friendliest man. He could be a supreme asshole if you rubbed him the wrong way. He was a lot sarcastic, which was one reason we got along so well. And he could be downright lethal if you crossed him. But that didn't explain why Nebraska looked terrified of him.

Unless she'd sold him out and we just didn't know it yet.

Fuck.

"Yo," Smith answered his phone. "You're on speaker with Easton and Nebraska in the room."

Nebraska smirked knowing Smith had included my name only to lessen the sting of warning Zane Nebraska was listening.

Smart woman.

"How'd the meeting go?"

Zane's question wasn't unusual but his tone was all wrong.

It was too professional.

Too guarded.

Smith's head tipped to the side.

He heard it, too.

"Confirmation there's a hit out on Nebraska and Charlie," Smith informed our boss.

"What else?"

What the fuck?

No ill-humored comeback? No off-colored joke?

Something was seriously fucking wrong.

"He warned her to be careful," I jumped in. "Went on to tell her that if something happened to her, Dutch would have to rebuild and that could be the end of Black."

The utter silence was the last straw.

"Who's Black?" I pressed.

Nothing.

"Zane?" I prompted.

But it wasn't my boss who spoke, it was Nebraska and she was holding out her phone.

"It's Maddon."

Goddamn motherfuck.

Was it too much to ask for the fucking truth?

"Answer it," I told her. "On speaker."

I thought I heard Nebraska mumble ‘dick' under her breath before she angrily jabbed at the screen. Her insult wasn't the insult she thought it was. My dick took no offense to her frequent mentions. Which meant when she answered the call my mind was filled with all sorts of filthy things I wanted to do to her.

"Maddon," she purred.

Fake as fuck.

"Ah, my Dove. How's Cairo? Busy day, yeah?" Maddon returned the fake sentiment.

"Productive. How's your stay?"

"Same, my dear."

After that neither spoke. Nebraska simply stared at her phone, patiently waiting for Maddon to get to the point of his call.

I glanced from Nebraska to Smith still holding his phone screen up. Zane was still on the line listening. In all of the time I'd worked for the man I'd never known him to be anything other than straightforward and to the point. He didn't prevaricate or evade questions. If he didn't want to answer or didn't want to elaborate or didn't want to talk about something he said that straight. He didn't hide behind niceties, he didn't worry about offending someone. The man was honest and his honesty normally included a hefty dose of impolite, foul words.

Now he was being shifty.

He was hiding something.

The truth will ruin Zane.

Dutch, Badger, or Black.

One of those three held the answer.

My guess was Black was the bomb that would discharge.

However, I couldn't press for answers until Nebraska was done with Maddon.

Finally Maddon broke the annoying silence, "It would seem I was correct."

Nebraska's lips twitched.

It was then it dawned on me, the game she'd played and won. She hadn't filled the void, she'd waited Maddon out, made him lead the conversation, giving her the upper hand. Not only that but it made it so she could hold her cards close to her chest.

Smart.

"About?"

"Viper."

Nebraska's eyes darted to mine, then sliced to the phone in Smith's hand.

"It would seem his desire to keep a woman who is under his protection safe outweighed his long-standing hatred for the Agency."

Maddon's loud laughter came through the speaker sounding forced and ridiculous.

The idiot might've been going for sinister but instead it came across as bad acting.

"You think I'm a fool," Maddon accused.

"I think you are a lot of things, Maddon. However, a fool is not one of them. You knew what you were doing when you sent me to visit Mr. Lewis. You knew what the outcome of that meeting would be. And you knew it would be the distraction you were hoping for."

"You know I had high hopes for you. From the very beginning you reminded me of your mother. Like you, Pigeon's clever."

I couldn't pull my eyes off Nebraska as she absorbed that blow. And she had yet to recover when Maddon twisted his knife deeper.

"But, unlike you, your mother's willing to do what needs to be done. She doesn't quibble over stupid things like morality. When there's a job to do, she simply does it."

Nebraska might not have been literally bleeding out, but figuratively speaking the woman was hemorrhaging. Her hands trembled, she blinked rapidly, her eyes darted around the room looking for something to focus on.

She caught the present tense.

Good fucking Christ.

I made quick work of getting into her space and when she still hadn't looked at me, my hand went under her chin to force her attention to come to me.

Blue eyes swirled with uncertainty and pain.

I gave her a sharp shake of my head and held her gaze, willing her to regain her strength.

I knew she found it when her shoulders stiffened and she said, "Sorry to disappoint you."

Her words almost came out steady.

But not quite enough for Maddon not to have heard the shakiness.

Seeing as the jackhole knew her well, he pounced. "Oh, dear, that's right. No one's told you."

My hand went from under her chin to cupping the side of her face.

Any doubts I had vanished.

Nebraska had no clue her mother was alive.

None.

And right then, as her world shattered before my very eyes, she was dangerously close to breaking apart.

"Stay strong," I mouthed.

Her nostrils flared. Her eyes widened. Her breath came out in choppy pants.

"It would seem ol' Charlie Buck's got some explainin' to do."

With that the motherfucker disconnected.

"Fucking asshole," Smith growled.

I kept hold of Nebraska's face and her gaze.

"Need answers, Zane," I stated the obvious. "But first I need to see to Nebraska."

"Dove," Zane called out.

She didn't even blink when in a bleak, dead tone she answered, "Yes?"

"You might not get it right now, why people do what they do, especially when they're backed into a corner. But you will. One day, you'll get it and understand that some of the most fucked-up lies told are the ones that are selfless and shrouded in love and protection."

Then Zane disconnected as well.

"Did that sound like a preface to you, too?" Smith asked.

"If by that, you mean him setting the stage to come clean, then yes."

"She's alive?" Nebraska whispered.

Fuck.

My gut felt as hollow as her eyes looked.

"Yeah, baby, she's alive."

She sucked in a sharp breath.

"You…" Nebraska trailed off and stepped back, hitting the back edge of the couch. She grunted, skirted around it, and continued her retreat.

Fuck.

"Nebraska—"

"Pigeon…"

"That's her—"

"I know that name," she hissed. "I've heard it. I've heard stories. I thought she was… I thought… Dove, Pigeon." Nebraska's head shook wildly. "They knew. They all knew."

I wasn't tracking.

"Who's they?"

"Zane, Dutch, and Badger. They had to have known."

Goddamn it.

She was losing it.

Not that I blamed her but fuck, it killed to watch.

"Babe—"

"Charlie," she seethed. "My father."

I needed to guide her back to a place of relative calm where I could explain what I knew then hopefully guide her to a place where she could have a conversation with Charlie so he could give her what she needed. When she started pacing I knew she wasn't ready to have any sort of civilized exchange.

"He knew. Maddon knew. My team knew. You knew. Everyone fucking knew. But…me," she finished on a shout then continued to yell as she raged, "I was twelve when I went to my mother's funeral. I was twelve when I went to live with a stranger. I was a fucking child and my mother faked her death. Did she want to get rid of me so desperately she faked her own death—"

"Stop," I cut in. "You have every right to feel exactly how you feel but you're going down the wrong path."

"Oh, really, I have the right to feel what I'm feeling? Thanks for the permission, asshole." She heaved in a breath. "No shit, I get to feel what I'm feeling. I was twelve when my mother left me with a stranger. I was a child and she gave me to Charlie so she could what? Go live her life without me tying her down? She could go back to being Pigeon without the annoying little—"

"Enough," I shouted over her. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

I didn't answer her because I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say without giving her more than she was ready to hear. I also couldn't tell her that hearing her call herself an annoying anything made me want to throat punch her mother for making her feel unwanted, and strangle the life out of Charlie for allowing this to go on for as long as it had without giving something away I didn't fully understand.

But I had to give her something.

"Zane was unaware you didn't know about your mother until Charlie admitted you thought she was dead the night he came to visit."

"You thought I knew and I was playing along with the fucking lie so you were keeping that information to yourself until you could use it to your advantage."

Damn, that stung.

"No, none of us were holding onto that information to use against you."

She nodded and pinched her lips, telling me without words she didn't believe me.

"But you thought I knew even though Charlie told you I didn't."

In that moment I wished Nebraska wasn't as smart as she was.

"I wasn't sure," I admitted.

"Right," she grumbled.

"Can you at least understand this is complicated? There're layers and we're all treading cautious? I wasn't going to keep the truth from you for long, but I need to understand the scope of what we're dealing with. Which I'll point out, I still don't understand. But if I'd known Maddon was going to blindside you with that information, I would've told you."

"Right," she grumbled again.

That pissed me off.

"You really think I'm that much of a motherfucker I'd let that piece of shit gut you like that? Jesus, Nebraska, I don't expect you to trust me, but fuck, woman, that's some lowdown shit right there."

She said nothing.

Not that she needed to, the scathing look said it all.

So did her departure.

She thought I was a motherfucker who'd purposely allow Maddon to harm her.

Good to know.