Chapter Fifteen

"Patience."

Patience turned so see Pauline poking her head out of the bedroom door. Although the woman was not confined to her room as such, Nate had insisted on ensuring he knew where she was at all times, and refused to let her walk around the house unescorted.

"Do you need something?"

" Oui ." Pauline pushed open the door. "Come in here."

Frowning, Patience entered the bedroom. With the curtains drawn, the room made a gloomy prison. Pauline insisted on keeping them drawn while she was in hiding lest someone recognize her. Lamps were lit in several corners but could not combat the feeling of the room being utterly stifling. Particularly for a woman like Pauline. Patience had only been in her company for two days while they waited for their chance to go to Magnus' for another dinner party but she had the distinct impression Pauline was not the sort of woman who could be confined. She could not help pity her for her situation, forever having her life dictated by men.

Pauline sat on the bed and patted the mattress. Patience let her frown deepen.

"Come here, you silly English girl. Have you never confided with your girlfriends before?"

She shook her head. "I have none."

"Well, you have one now." She patted the bed insistently.

Unable to protest or quite fathom what Pauline meant by you have one now , Patience sat. Did that mean Pauline considered her a friend? Her first female friend was Napoleon's former mistress? What a riot she would have telling people in their village that. Of course, no one would believe her.

"You are different, are you not?" Pauline asked.

"Do you need to ask me that?" she indicated to her breeches.

The French woman laughed. " Oui , you are right." She gave a dramatic sigh. "I am the same. I was never satisfied with mere marriage and duty. And I will not be satisfied with hiding away in Scotland or some other frightfully cold place while under the protection of the British. I shall die from boredom, I am sure of it."

"I am sure they shall find you somewhere pleasant to stay."

"I cannot abide the thought of being watched over forever. I am sure they will still spy on me. You must know that, Patience."

Patience grimaced. The chances were Pauline would not be allowed to comfortably settle without any interference. She knew too much. There would always be people watching her, at least until the war ended—if it ever did.

"I do not know why you are telling me this, Pauline. I have no power over what happens to you."

"You have some power. Especially over Nathaniel."

Patience laughed. "He never listens to me."

"You are wrong. I see him. He watches your mouth so carefully, as if each word that comes from your lips is a treasure. He listens."

Shaking her head, Patience smiled to herself. If only that were true. She would dearly enjoy holding Nate's esteem. How she had gone from resolving to loathe him forever to wanting his esteem, she did not know, but there it was. She wanted him to like her, to think what she had to say held some importance. How fickle of her.

"You must speak with him. Persuade him I must go."

"We need to get the information first, Pauline. You know why."

She gave a sad sigh. "Ah, oui , you do not trust me."

"We put quite a lot of effort into finding you." Patience nearly laughed at herself when she considered the fight she had landed herself in and the days spent tripping around a cold, dark house. "Even if Nate were not here, I would not release you."

"But after?" Pauline asked hopefully. "What about after?"

"It is safer for the government to look after you. What would you do on your own anyway?"

"I have my cousins. They will return when you are gone. They can help me. I shall travel perhaps. There are ships enough around here. A warm country would be nice."

Patience shook her head slowly. "I am not sure what I can do for you."

"Let me leave when you have your information. Leave the front door unlocked. I can slip away. After all, I will not be needed then."

"Pauline, I—"

"Or better yet, come with me." Pauline's eyes were bright with excitement. "Come with me and we shall have wonderful adventures. You are not made for marriage or a dull life, I know that."

"Oh no, I'm—"

"We shall be safer together and you are strong, are you not? Oui , you are, I can tell. Strong and determined. Between us, we could do anything. And I like you, and you like me. It would be perfect."

"I really do not think…that is, I have a family. They would miss me."

"Your brothers? Pffft." Pauline waved a hand. "I heard you talking of them. They are too busy being men to care about their sister." She grabbed Patience's hand. "Come with me. We could have such fun."

There was a deliberate cough outside the door and Pauline dropped Patience's hand abruptly. Pauline stood, feeling as though she had been caught conspiring with the enemy.

"Think about it," the woman whispered as Patience hastened out of the room.

Nate stood in the hallway, arms folded. Creases marred his forehead and his expression was dark. Patience jutted up her chin and stalked past him. He followed her down to the drawing room. He had heard enough, she knew that much, but why he was angry about it, she did not know. After all, it was hardly her fault Pauline was plotting.

She picked up a poker and gave the fire a jab. Sparks popped from the logs. Behind her, Nate remained. She did not need to look at him to know that same dark expression remained on his face.

"You are not considering it, are you?"

She rolled her eyes, gave the fire one more stab then placed the poker back in its holder before facing him. She mirrored his stance, crossing her arms and keeping her legs slightly apart. She had not, until he had challenged her. Was it so astonishing a thought that she might wish to travel and experience excitement and danger?

"And what if I am?"

"Patience, you cannot be serious. We are to hand her over to the government, not release her into the wild."

"I cannot blame her for wanting to be free, Nate."

"And you? Are you not free?"

"How can I be? I am a woman. If I do not marry, I shall become a spinster and a target for pity."

"What of your family?"

She shrugged. "My brothers shall not miss me."

"Your mother will."

"She is too busy with her painting. Anyway, it is not a prison sentence. I could return if I wanted to."

Nate took several bold strides to close the gap between them. "Patience, listen to yourself. You wish to gallivant off to who knows where when you have never been farther than London—if that—with a woman who could very well be targeted by the French and British."

"Sounds fun," she said, well-aware it would rile him more. But why should he be so bothered? He was not her keeper or her real husband.

"You are too innocent, little one. You have spent all your life in a sleepy little village where everyone accepts that you wear breeches and turns a blind eye. You will not find the same welcome anywhere else."

"You think me horribly na?ve, do you not? Well, I do not see how you can know much of the world either. We grew up in the same small village if you recall and I do not think trips to London and Scotland count as seeing the wide world. The life of a nobleman is hardly one filled with danger and adventure, is it?"

"Patience, you have no idea how much danger and adventure I have been a part of."

She laughed. "If you mean slipping out of married women's windows, I do not think that counts."

"No," he hissed. "I mean sailing across enemy-laden seas. I mean evading excise men. I mean smuggling in spies."

Patience opened her mouth, then closed it again.

Nate straightened and pushed a hand through his hair. "Damn it."

"What do you mean, excise men? And smuggling spies?"

He huffed out a long breath and pushed his glasses back up his nose. "I know more about danger than you will ever know."

"Nate?"

He motioned to the chair and she sat, eyeing him as she lowered herself down. Moving to stand by the fire, he rested an elbow on the fireplace.

"I should not have said as much. What I have told you could put many people in danger, particularly my brother."

"Lord Redmere?"

"He is the only brother I have."

"Yes, of course. Forgive me."

He stared at the flames for a moment. "I trust you, Patience, so I do not think I need to tell you this information is not to be repeated."

"I swear it."

"When I found out my eyesight was not good enough for me to join the army, I threw myself into drinking and well…other unsavory behavior. My brother feared that without a purpose, I would turn into another one of those useless second sons."

"I do not think you could ever be one of those."

He gave her a look. "I am a different man to what I was then. Perhaps I am even changed again since." He ran a finger along the mantelpiece and stared at the fire once more. "My brother wanted a way for me to be involved in the war effort and find purpose. By chance he came across a British spy sheltering in Penshallow. My brother helped him and that led to his current operation—which is smuggling."

She drew in a breath. Smuggling? Surely not. Everyone knew that smuggling took place in Cornwall. There was talk of the Ship Inn being a center for it, but no one had ever proven anything and most did not care enough to pry. But to suggest that the Earl of Redmere was involved…?

"Yes," he confirmed, as though she had spoken the words aloud. "My brother oversees a smuggling operation going out of our little village. He uses it as a cover to bring in information and people as well as take them over to France. It also means we can bring in goods that we are not meant to have." He grinned. "I did sorely miss French wine until we managed to get our hands on some."

Patience gaped at him for what felt like many moments. It was so hard to fathom. Nate was not this lackadaisical lord as she had originally assumed—though admittedly she was far from seeing him that way now. And Lord Redmere, well, he was practically a pirate!

"So you see, little one, I know much about danger, and I do not recommend it to you."

"But you will continue to smuggle?"

"Of course. As long as the war continues, we have a role to play."

"Why do you expect me to be satisfied with doing nothing then? We both know I shall not be given any other missions. This was simply luck that I was allowed along on this one."

"Patience, promise me you will not go with her." He thrust a finger at her. "Promise me."

She shook her head. "I cannot." What Nate did not realize was that his story had not put her off the idea but had persuaded her to think on it more. After all, if a lord could become a smuggler, could a young woman not become an explorer?