Chapter 4

“How’s your man?”

Cathy rolled her eyes at him as she put the finishing touches to the designs she had been working on. She was strapped for time, with the demands of her job almost getting to her.

She was never so happy, to have the opportunity to talk to Earl every night or almost every night. It had been two weeks since they had been communicating and it felt like months, they never ran out of conversational topics and found joy and laughter with each other.

“He is not my man!” She denied it but could not help feel the exhilaration springing up at the sound of that. Justin was reclining on the sofa across from her, watching her with his intensely beautiful golden eyes. He had kicked off his coat and boots and had his feet propped up on some cushions.

“You have been talking to the guy for what? Two weeks? When are you going to meet him?”

“I am not ready.” Studiously avoiding his eyes, she stared at the design of a peasant style blouse critically.

“Why the hell not?”

“It’s been just two weeks.” She hedged. Earl had not mentioned them meeting again, but he had hinted at it. She had ignored the hints.

“And enough time to know whether or not you like each other enough to go out on an actual date. What is he waiting on?”

“He asked and I said no.”

The hissing of his breath had her looking up at him defiantly. “And you know why.”

“Of course, I know why.” He responded in exasperation. “You have this thing about disappointing the guy you are seeing. Whether it’s your look which is crazy by the way, because you happen to be an exceptionally beautiful woman – or your career.”

“Those have been deterrents in the past.” She argued.

“So, you are just going to allow what those assholes did to you, to stop you from having a life? I am disappointed in you, Cat.”

“I don’t care, and you cannot guilt me into changing my mind.” Putting away the design, she picked up her wine moodily. “And I don’t like white wine.”

He gave her a pained look that told her he knew exactly what she was about. “It is vintage and you damn well will not be changing the subject. What are you afraid of?”

Taking a sip of the really excellent wine, she mulled on the reasons.

“I like him too much.”

He stared at her as if she had taken leave of her senses. “Let me get this straight. You really like this guy and that’s the reason you don’t want to meet him. Am I missing something.”

“Don’t be such a jerk.”

“I am being a jerk?” Shaking his head, he reached for his own wineglass and, going against principles and habit, gulped a generous amount. “How long is he going to put up with you putting him off?”

“He promised to wait.”

“For how long? The guy obviously likes you and you talk to him practically every night and some days. Unless he is gay and just need a friend, then he is going to want to know what you look like and see you face to face. Eventually he is going to want to take a sample.”

She glared at him. “You are disgusting.”

“I am being straight, which is something I am not.” He sat up and faced her. “Darling, what you went through with those guys was horrible and frustrating. Some of the blame falls on you of course because whenever you are working you become absorbed.

Which should have been overlooked and understood if the guy really loves you. And if you had one smidgen of feelings for them, it would have prompted you to set aside your design and give them your attention.

I have been here when you received phone calls from this Earl person and the look on your face is one, I have never seen before. The last time I was here, you put away work and left the room to get some privacy. My point is you really like this guy.”

“And that scares the crap out of me,” she admitted. “I like him a lot and the conversations we have, are the highlight of my day. I anticipate his calls, and it doesn’t matter if we are talking nonsense, I look forward to hearing his voice.” She closed her eyes briefly. “I keep asking myself what if he sees me for the first time and is turned off?

What if he is accustomed to slender girls? What if I don’t like the way he looks? All these questions are plaguing me. I mean, what kind of man would resort to online dating? Did he have some sort of ugliness that prompted him to take that route? I don’t know what to think.”

“First of all,” Justin began patiently. “Looks or the lack thereof has nothing to do with going online for a date. Look at me, I am gorgeous, and I have taken to meeting people online.

You know better than that. It is designed for people who are too busy to go the normal route and prefer to pay someone to pave the way. Secondly, no one can ever be turned off by your looks.

You are all woman, exquisitely beautiful and I cursed the heavens that I was born gay, or I would be all over you. We went to that party the other night and men were staring at you…” He shrugged. “At least, the ones who were not staring at me.” He got her to laugh and that lifted his spirits considerably.

He hated that she was so down on herself and couldn’t see what he and every other red-blooded man saw.

Even sitting cross legged on the floor and wearing a slinky blue and gold shirt, she epitomized sexy and alluring. Her hair was piled haphazardly on top of her head with tendrils hanging around her neck and shoulders and she was not wearing a stitch of makeup.

He had worked with beautiful women for most of his life and had seen them before foundation was slathered all over their skin and had been turned off. Cathy did not need any enhancements, and he knew that this guy would be thrilled to come face to face with her.

“You like him?”

“Yes.”

“Then agree to meet him.”

“I am not ready.”

“You are not a coward.”

She glared at him, and he merely stared back at her. “You are brave and outspoken and damned sexy. Get your fine ass out there and meet the guy. You really need to get laid.”

“Bite me.” She squealed when he reached out and grabbed her hand, doing just that.

“You bit me.”

“You asked for it.” He grinned and rubbed the meaty part of her arm where he had sunk his teeth. “And it’s just a nip. Go for it darling and tell me all about it.”

“I am not sure.”

“Cathy, don’t make me hurt you.”

“You already did.” She pointed out. “Now…,” dragging her hand away, she picked up the designs she had been working on. “What do you think?”

*****

“I have to go out of town for a few days, possibly a week.”

“Oh.”

Earl pushed away from his desk and started pacing. The emergency could not have come at a more inopportune time and all of his efforts to try and solve the problem via phone calls had been in vain.

This was going to take him there personally and he hated like hell that he was the damn CEO of the company, especially now. “I wish I could put it off, but I can’t.”

“It’s fine.”

“I want to see you, Cathy.” He also hated that he sounded desperate, but he was. He spent nights twisting beneath the sheets, his body feverish with need. He hadn’t been with a woman in a while, but it was not that. Just the very sound of her sultry voice was making him crazy.

“When you come back, we will talk about it. I promise.”

He felt relief shuddering through the length of him.

“Does that mean we will not be talking for an entire week?”

“Not a chance in hell.” He growled. “I am going to Europe, and you know the time difference. I didn’t want to assume that you would be able to take my calls.”

“I am a night owl anyway and I will be working feverishly to accomplish what needs to be done.”

“I want to see you.” His voice had dropped. “I know it sounds crazy, but I feel as if I have known you for years.”

“I feel the same way.” She whispered.

Dropping back in the chair, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Cathy.” His voice was rough, and he felt the familiar ache in his loins. “Christ. I wish I were free to say what I need to say to you. But I don’t want to frighten you off.”

“I am not easily frightened.”

“I want to make love to you.”

He waited while she paused and felt fear gripping him as he wondered if he had frightened her off.

“I-I -Oh Earl, what are we doing?”

“We are heading into a relationship. Is that something you see happening?”

“Yes.” She whispered and had him sighing in relief.

“As soon as I am back, we make arrangements to see each other.”

“You might be disappointed,” she warned.

“I could say the same about you. We don’t know what each other looks like unless you want to exchange photos.”

“No. Let it remain a mystery until we come face to face.”

“I know I won’t be disappointed.”

“I hope not.”

Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his face. “If I didn’t have to leave first thing in the morning, I would insist we meet tonight.”

“And I would have said no.”

“Why Cathy?”

“Because I am cautious, in case you haven’t already guessed.”

“You have nothing to fear from me. I know you haven’t spoken much about your past relationships, but I know you have been hurt and so have I. I have a hard time trusting people, especially the opposite sex, but I think I can trust you.”

“I feel the same way.”

“Good.” He said brusquely. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but he knew it was too soon to voice them. He would wait until she was more comfortable with him. He could not believe he was falling in love with a woman he had not seen, had never met before. But he recognized the signs.

He couldn’t wait to hear her voice and if he went one day without talking to her, he felt like crap. Her voice lulled him to sleep at nights and even though it also made him feel damned uncomfortable, he treasured their conversations.

She gave his life purpose.

“So, what are you doing for Halloween?”

She laughed and told him her tradition of going to a Halloween themed party and handing out candies to children in her neighborhood.

*****

Cathy set about straightening up the place, her mind not really on the mundane task. She had someone coming in a few days of the week to do the heavy lifting like laundry and dusting, but she preferred to do the everyday chores by herself.

She had grown up without having anything to her name and it had become a wonder to her when she started making more than enough money to purchase genuinely nice house and designer clothes, when she had become so accustomed to hand me downs. It took her awhile to realize that she was well off.

She had money in the bank, an accountant who took very good care of her money and made certain she invested in lucrative holdings. She gave a lot to charity, her way of giving back for what she had been blessed with.

She never had to worry about where her next meal was coming from or about feeling cold and uncomfortable. She was able to buy anything she wanted, and it was something she never took for granted.

She worked damn hard and was very talented. She had very wealthy and influential friends, Monique Romano being one of them as well as Justin who was an international model. She was satisfied with her life, or at least, she thought she was.

Earl had called her early this morning to say that he was already on his way to Europe, and she wished him a safe journey.

“I’ll call you as soon as I land.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t, but I want to.”

And she was counting the hours until he landed. He had said Europe and had not been specific. Was he going to the UK, or it could be Italy or Spain or even France. Why hadn’t he said his destination? She wondered as she swiped the cloth over the glossy marble fireplace.

When she was looking for a house, she had been very specific and fussy about it. After never having a place to call her own, she had wanted a home. The place had been owned by a wealthy old couple who decided that the cold was no longer what they wanted to contend with.

When her realtor called excitedly to tell her that she found what Cathy was looking for, she had been skeptical at first until she saw the place. It was a modest enough cottage type home with rugged and weathered red bricks making up the exterior. It was not so much the house that had caught her attention but the grounds.

It had a lot of land, with maple, oak, cedar and an orange and apple grove. It was a farm without the animals, and she had fallen in love instantly.

She loved the wide-open spaces, the bubbling brook, the gazebo standing next to it and the abundance of flowers growing wild. She had not cared about the price and had been determined that it be hers.

She had barely had to change anything and to her delight, the couple had agreed to sell her most of the antique furnishings they had collected over the years.

Cathy had made it into a home. She much preferred living here to some sterile apartment with all the modern amenities. She had a pool installed and a sturdy swing made on one of the strong oak trees.

Justin had teased her about wanting to capture her childhood. And he was right. She had not had much of one and now that she could afford to do as she damn well pleased, she wanted to indulge.

Sitting down on the ottoman, she twisted the dust rag around her fingers restlessly. She had agreed to meet Earl as soon as he came back, and she instinctively knew he was no longer going to be put off. The fear lodging inside her throat was suffocating.

What if he didn’t like what he saw? Could she bear another disappointment? She had started to have feelings for him, very strong ones. If for some reason, he decided that they were not suited, she had no idea what she would do.

*****

The flight was interminable. The contract he had taken out of his briefcase after takeoff was opened on the elegant desk unread, the words blurring together. It was ridiculous, but he felt as if he was leaving something unresolved. As if he was leaving the woman he was falling in love with for her to meet someone else.

He had never asked if she was pursuing some other guy online. Shaking his head at illogical thought, he turned his mind to something other than what was tormenting him. He wanted to meet her. A smile touched his lips as he recalled their last conversation, about her being afraid that he was going to be disappointed in her.

As if that was even a remote possibility. He was sure she was as beautiful as her voice or even more so. And that she was desirable as hell. He did not want to form a picture of what she looked like, he preferred to leave that until they met.

He did not want a preconceived notion of her. Dismissing the eager flight attendant who came forward with a breakfast menu, he concentrated on the cup of excellent coffee he had ordered.

He was not hungry. It amazed him that in the past, was it only a mere two weeks since he started talking to her? He found it difficult to believe that it was such a short space of time, considering how impactful it was.

In the past, whenever he had to travel, he would be armed to the teeth with business prospectus and contracts, all of which would occupy his very fertile mind until he arrived at his destination.

But this time it was different. He was different. The only thing occupying his mind was her. The conversations they had. The sound and texture of her voice. Her full, rich laugh. The way she had about her. The dry acerbic wit that kept him laughing.

It was strange that they had not spoken of anything of consequence. He knew she had been hurt and that she was thirty-two. He knew she had a very good career, and she seemed to love what she did.

She was also an art lover, because she had told him about visiting several art galleries and museums and had raved over Jackson Colby’s paintings and how she had met the man a few years ago.

He wondered what she would make of the fact that the famous artist was a personal friend of his and that they belonged to the same club. He wanted to tell her who he really was but had been reluctant. He certainly did not want his wealth or status coming between them.

Or was that the real reason? A voice taunted him. In the past, women had been impressed by your vast wealth and what you could offer them. Wasn’t it a fact that you were hoping this was different and that was the real reason you were keeping it a secret?

“Yes.” He whispered; a bleak looks on his face. He wanted to be loved for himself. Wanted a woman to want to be with him without expecting anything in return. He had made a vast error in judgment over Diana. She had fooled him with her demure personality and her eagerness to please him.

She had told him all he wanted to hear about the desire to be a mother and his wife. She had turned out to be a scheming faithless bitch who had been using him. He had thought he was in love with her, but it had been incredibly easy to turn his back and walk away.

It disturbed him that what he was starting to feel for this stranger was far more than what he had ever felt for another woman, including one he had contemplated marrying. And if she turned out to be duplicitous, it would break him into pieces.

His sister warned him to take it slow and be cautious.

“Remember what happened the last time,” she warned, as if he was in danger of forgetting.

“You were the one who forced the app on me.”

“I wanted to get you out of the doldrums.”

“Well, you succeeded.”

“But I do not want to see you hurt again Earl, I couldn’t bear it. Take it slow. Heed her wishes to stretch it out before meeting her. You said yourself that you enjoy talking with her. Leave it at that for now. Get to know her before you do something you will regret. She doesn’t know who you really are.

She probably thinks you are an ordinary guy. Let that play out for a while. What is she going to think when she realizes you are the Earl Drummond?”

And that is what he was afraid of.

She spoke to him with the ease of a stranger. Their conversations were not stilted, but heartfelt and candid. And he loved that. In his line of work and considering who he was, people wore masks. They never knew how to really behave around him.

They told him what he wanted to hear. He was bored by the constant willingness to please him, especially the opposite sex.

His money was like a nectar beckoning the bee – the idea of becoming his wife was irresistible for more reasons than one. And he found it a hell of a lot inconvenient. He wanted normalcy, something he could never have.

He was recognized wherever he went. He had been on the covers of several magazines. But for the first time in his life, he was wishing he was someone else.