29. Chapter 29

The next morning, we broke camp again; as usual, it was just Dzur-Khan, Lexi, Dhor-Van, and me who did the heavy lifting. My hand was almost back to normal. Now and then, it twitched weirdly, but otherwise, the swelling was gone, and so were the black lines. The cut wounds were still a bit sore, but nothing that a thick pack of gauze couldn't protect.

Tomorrow we would reach the portal and my mind was busy creating different scenarios of what might greet us there. How would Weidenhof react to having his security guards killed? What would they do about me? Would they pretend I was Dawn or call me a killer?

What would they say about the women and scientists returning?

I sighed. There were so many questions, so many variables, it was hard to form a plan in my head. I hated the idea of playing it by ear, but that was what we would have to do.

We!

I smiled at that thought.

I was Dzur-Khan's khadahrshi. I would stay on Vandruk, with him.

The idea of our unknown future didn't scare me, on the contrary. It enticed me. Yes, there would be fighting, but it would be a worthy fight. For the first time in my life I felt that I was right where I was supposed to be, as if I had been born just for this and as if life had prepared me for this role, this moment.

I smiled at Dzur-Khan, who was putting the rest of the fire out and he sent me such a cocky grin, it made my knees go weak. Yeah, I could see myself spending the rest of my life with this man.

A man, I realized, who was looking for a family. When I said yes, I said yes to a lot of things. But this one tiny detail had somehow kind of evaded my consciousness until just now.

Having a family.

I had never considered kids, not after how Dawn and I grew up, but here it would be different, here, everything was different. It was just a thought that had popped uninvited into my head, but… I wasn't totally averse to the idea.

Laughter interrupted my thoughts and my head turned to the Queen Bees, who were busy stuffing their faces and snickered as if none of this mattered to them, while Bob and Scott actually busied themselves with collecting more samples. At least they were doing something, I supposed. In the back of my mind, I was sure they only did this as a last-ditch effort to show something for their stay on Vandruk and to make the people on Earth go, Ah . I was also certain they were collecting things they weren't going to share with IC and would sell for obscene amounts of money.

It shouldn't have bothered me, but it did.

"…eat cake and ice cream." Sandra laughed.

"Buy all the expensive purses I always wanted," Michaela added.

Words and sentences drifted at me all day long from the Queen Bees as they became more and more animated at the idea of returning home. They would undoubtedly become celebrities on Earth, with money shoved down their throats until they choked on it. I didn't think it was fair; they should be punished for what they did to Gwyn, but alas, this was life, I supposed.

For me, being banished from Vandruk would have been a punishment beyond measure, no matter how famous I would have become on Earth. Maybe, I mused, that would be their punishment because they would stay hollow and vain for the rest of their lives without ever figuring out what really mattered. They would never understand the chance of the new life Vandruk had offered them. They wouldn't understand that it was a punishment, but that shouldn't really matter to me. I would be here, and so would Gwyn and Lexi, and they wouldn't.

Still, the vengeful part of me yearned to give them a taste of their own poison, to beat them up and leave them out in the wilderness, alone without food and provisions. That would have been a just punishment. It was the one thing I held against Tzar-Than. I got that in his world women were revered, but come on. These bitches deserved so much worse than being on talk shows and treated like celebrities .

"You're plotting again," Dzur-Khan remarked, walking next to me.

"I was just thinking about the Queen Bees and how unfair their punishment is," I admitted.

"My bloodthirsty little warrior." Dzur-Khan put his arm around my waist. "Not all punishments are meted out in blood."

I rolled my eyes. "They ought to be."

"Do you think leaving them alone in the wild would make them truly regret what they did? Or would they instead rant and rave against how unfair life is and what we did to them ?"

"It would make me feel better, though. Much better than thinking they'd be celebrities and bathing in caviar." I pouted, amazed at how well he already knew me.

"I don't know what a celebratty or caviar is, but I'm sure at some point they will realize that they didn't get what they wanted."

I snickered at the way Dzur-Khan had misunderstood my word, celebratty . The more my mind repeated it, the more I liked it. It was actually quite fitting. Brats usually got what they wanted by acting up, but sooner or later, people got tired of them and stopped hanging around. The Queen Bees would never understand the true meaning of friendship, love, a union, not like what I had found. And that thought, petty as it was, did cheer me up.

"Thanks."

"For what?" He sounded confused.

"You have a way of putting things in perspective," I explained, "that resonates with me. "

"Alright, I didn't understand most of that, but I'm glad I helped you."

I boxed him in the side, grinning. Our vocabulary still needed some work, but it was progressing quite nicely.

The end of the day was just like the morning, only in reverse. We put up the tents, and because I was feeling extremely petty, I threw the furs for the Queen Bees in front of their tents. They could pick them up and make their own beds. I was done playing maid for them. I was a fucking khadahrshi now.

That made me laugh. Who would have thought little old me would ever become a queen?

"Thank you," Lexi said, holding out a wooden bowl of roasted meat.

"Don't thank me; just make your stay count," I replied, taking the dish from her.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she asked, taking a slice of meat from her bowl.

"What is?" I managed to ask around the meat in my mouth.

"This, Vandruk. Especially the nebula up there." She pointed at the array of colors, bright and not-so-bright stars that seemed to be wrapped into a mantle of clouds.

"Yes," I agreed, swallowing the too-large bite.

With everything that had happened, I hadn't taken much time to take in all the wonders and beauty of Vandruk, the place I wanted to start a new life at. But now that Lexi pointed it out, I couldn't help but be fascinated .

"It's the Koranae," Dzur-Khan explained, stepping in between Lexi and me, also holding a bowl.

"Koranae," I repeated the strange, beautiful word.

"It's the place where our ancestors dwell, where my mother and sisters are now," Dzur-Khan added.

"Oh." I couldn't take my eyes off the nebula. I didn't have the heart to explain to Dzur-Khan that nebulas were remnants of a dying sun and possibly the birthplace of new stars—don't ask how I knew that; it's just something I read once.

But I liked Dzur-Khan's description a lot better, and at the end of the day, what proof did I have that my belief was valid and his wasn't? He believed in gods and souls, and I believed in science. Who was to say who was wrong and who was right? It wasn't like any scientist had ever actually flown to a nebula. Just because it was someone educated claiming this was true didn't make it so.

"That's a beautiful sentiment," Lexi breathed, her eyes still glued to the nebula.

"Yeah," I conceded, wondering which one of the bright spots might be Dawn—had her soul made her way here? I liked to think so. It was indeed a beautiful sentiment.

"Do you think my sister found her way here?" My words were out before I realized I had spoken them.

"You are here. I'm sure Dawn followed you." Dzur-Khan sounded so convinced I took his word for it, feeling a little lighter in the chest.

My neck was beginning to hurt from craning it, but staring into the nebula was hypnotizing and fascinating. Once I stared long enough, I realized that the clouds inside the nebula were moving slowly, like regular clouds on Earth on a windless day. For just a second, I saw Dawn's face up there, but I was sure it was only because I had been staring for so long and because of my wishful thinking.

"She's there," Dzur-Khan assured me, pulling me close to his chest.

"Yeah." I leaned into him. "Do you have any…" I broke off when I realized Lexi wasn't there any longer. She had left without a word or sound.

"What was that?" Dzur-Khan asked.

"Nothing. I didn't realize Lexi left."

"She is very perceptive," Dzur-Khan praised before he kissed me deeply. "I wanted to be alone with you."