Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Willow

After our talk, Durango was tired, so I left him alone in his room to nap. He's been sleeping a lot lately, but Piper explained the doctor wanted him to get as much rest as possible to heal during this stage.

Once he's settled, I check my phone. I'm in a group text chat with Madison and Alicia—Thunder's and Lightning's girlfriends. Once Piper told them about me, they insisted I go to happy hour with them. I did, and we all got along so well. According to them, Durango has not had a girlfriend that they know of, and the possibility that he might had them curious as to what I was like.

They've invited me out to their monthly happy hour twice now, and it's been fun. This morning, they invited me to go to lunch with them. That's new. Something I would love to do, but I can't today. I write back explaining why I can't meet for lunch but invite them over for coffee afterward here at Ozzie's.

If I talk to someone about what's going on, hopefully, I can figure out how to get past this block I seem to have. My ex was cruel. But I can't let what he did prevent me from pursuing happiness ever again. Yet, anytime I think about letting my walls down with Durango, I panic.

I stare at my phone, waiting for their reply. I keep staring at the bubbles. Whatever they are typing must be long. Finally, a message comes through.

Madison: We are coming over. See you in five.

I smile. This is exactly what I need.

I make a pot of coffee and am just finishing up when they text they are here. Since the building is secured, I have to go down and bring them up. The moment I see them, relief washes over my body.

"What happened to lunch?" I ask.

Madison smiles. "It can wait. We need to help you out first."

"I've got fresh coffee upstairs. Durango is sleeping, so we will need to be quiet."

"Sounds great," Alicia says as we all get into the elevator.

The moment the doors close, Madison crosses her arms. "Before Durango is within earshot, tell us, do you want to date him or not?" She is direct, and I appreciate that she's looking out for him. "I'm only asking because it's been a few months, and we want to make sure you aren't leading him on," Alicia says.

I take a deep breath. "I've had a crush on him since I was in high school. Yes, I want to date him, but I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to trust another man again because of my ex. I didn't see the red flags until it was too late, and I ended up basically being a prisoner. Every time I try to get closer to Durango, something holds me back. My therapist says it's my mind trying to protect me."

Both of them know some of my history with my ex, Tyler, because I opened up at one happy hour. It took two margaritas and I was a sobbing mess.

The elevator dings as we reach our floor.

"Do you think your therapist is helping you?" Alicia asks.

I frown as we walk to the front door. "I think so."

"I can tell you from personal experience that therapists are not a one-size-fits-all. How long have you been seeing this one?" Alicia asks.

"Three months," I say. "As soon as I got to New York, I found her. It's really helped me realize what happened wasn't my fault. It's just I'm scared I'll end up in a bad situation again."

Madison puts her hand on my shoulder as I unlock the door. "Willow, you need to learn to trust yourself. But I will say this about Durango. He's a good guy and nothing like your ex. You're in good hands with him."

She's right. Durango is a good man. Yet I keep hesitating to get closer to him. Tyler took so many years from me, and now he's taking my future, too.

We step inside, and I lead them to the kitchen table. Despite my efforts to hold them back, the tears start to fall again. I swear, I've cried so much in the last few months that I can't possibly have any tears left.

"Oh, honey," Alicia gives me a hug. She releases me and gives my shoulders a squeeze. "Have you told Durango you are in therapy? It would be good for him to know you are trying to work toward you two getting together."

I take a step back. "Did he say he doesn't think I'm trying?"

Alicia's eyes widen. "Oh, no, those weren't his exact words."

I glance toward the room he's staying in. Does he really think that? That I'm not really trying to get past what happened? I can't help it, but a sob escapes my lips.

Now Madison gives me a hug. "These things take time. I think Durango is just frustrated because he's stuck sitting around all day and has too much time to think."

I nod as I go to the counter and pour three cups of coffee. "Yeah, I get it. As far as he knows, I've been putting him off for months." I carry two cups to the table where Madison and Alicia are now sitting.

"Yes, but I'm sure he understands, considering what your ex did," Alicia says.

I cringe as I retrieve my cup of coffee. I walk back to them while staring at the floor. "I haven't told him."

Both women stare at me. Finally, Madison puts her cup down. "You haven't told him any of your history?"

I shake my head.

"Then why does he think you are keeping him at arm's length?"

I take a sip and make a face. I prefer tea and now remember why. "Well, I told him I have trust issues due to my last relationship."

Alicia frowns. "That's all you've told him?"

I nod.

"Well, no wonder he's impatient," Alicia says.

I still. "Impatient? He told me today I'm worth waiting for."

"I'm sure you are, but it might help to give him some details so he understands your hesitation is due to your ex and not because of him and his situation," Madison says.

I set my cup down. "Wait, he thinks I'm putting him off because he's injured?"

"No, he was frustrated before the waterfall incident," Alicia says.

"Wow, is he talking to everyone except me about this?" I cross my arms as my annoyance at Durango and this situation grows.

"Don't listen to her. She overheard some conversation he had with Lightning. Durango was just venting because he's frustrated. If you can tell him a little more about what happened, I'm sure it will help," Madison says.

"Willow, she's right. You have to tell him what happened with you and your ex. Think about it from his point of view. You keep saying you aren't ready, but he doesn't understand why. It might feel like a game to him. And didn't you already play a game with him when you were younger?" Alicia asks.

I lean back and close my eyes. I replay some of my conversations with Durango in my head. I hadn't thought about how it looks from his perspective.

"It does look bad. I don't get it. Why hasn't he kicked me out of his life?" I open my eyes in time to spot Madison glancing at Alicia, and they both smile.

"What?" I ask.

"That man has it bad for you. And I can see you really like him. Open up to Durango. Let him in," Alicia says.

Let him in. I break out in a cold sweat at the idea of admitting to Durango what an idiot I was. I take a deep breath and let it out. I need to suck up my pride and talk to him. "You're both right. Thank you. I really needed to hear this. I will work this out. I promise."

"Good. Now tell me, have you gone to the gym Piper told you about?" Madison asks.

Clearly, they all talk. "She mentioned that to you?"

Madison nods. "She said she was trying to get you to learn some martial arts."

I smile. "She was doing a hard sell."

"When Piper's ex tried to kidnap her the first time, she fought him off. And she would have again if he hadn't drugged her. If you don't want to go alone, I'd love to try those classes, too," Alicia says.

I blink as I stare at this woman. "I thought you were already some kind of badass."

Alicia smiles. "I'm a daredevil but not yet a badass."

"They're kind of the same thing," Madison says.

"Thank you. I'd like it if you came, too," I say.

It's been a long time since I've had a group of female friends. Another thing my ex took from me by cutting off all my contact with everyone. I'm so grateful for these women. They have my back and I have theirs. They are rooting for us, Durango and me.

Madison leans back. "I think you're on the right path now, and the universe will help you work it out."

I laugh. Is she serious? She doesn't laugh but simply arches that brow of hers again.

"Madison is a bit woo-woo," Alicia says. "You'll get used to it."

"And you'll love it," Madison adds.

"If she ever gets to be too much, just come jump out of a plane with me," Alicia says.

Madison shakes her head. "I'm not too much for anyone. In fact, Lars was just yelling, ‘More! More!' at me this morning." She grins.

Alicia rolls her eyes and holds up a finger to her. "No. We are not hearing about your sex life." Alicia turns to me. "Be careful. She'll say she's doing research for a book and then tell you things she and Thunder have done." Alicia shivers and makes a sour face. "If she starts, just run!"

"Oh, please. You love it. I give you ideas to take home to Lightning."

They continue to argue while I watch. I laugh, enjoying the banter between these two. Everything about being here feels right. Deep down, I know I'm supposed to be with Durango. And these women, I already adore them. I truly feel I've found my home with all of them. Now, I just need to do the work so I can be ready for it all.