Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Willow

The moment I open the door, I'm struck speechless. I stare at the man I haven't seen in over ten years. He's changed a little, with some fine lines around his eyes. One thing that hasn't changed is how I feel in his presence. There are still butterflies in my stomach, and I want him to wrap me in his arms more than anything.

"Willow, can I come in?"

I step aside. "Of course. Sorry. I'm a little stunned you're really here." I close the door behind him before making a beeline for the kitchen. It's the first time I've seen the guy in years, and I'm standing there, drooling. Good look, Willow.

"Want a glass of water?" I ask.

I already have two glasses out of the cupboard before he replies.

"Sure. I brought sandwiches for lunch."

I fill them up and walk over to the small kitchen table Ozzie has here in his apartment. We both sit down. How had I not noticed the bag of food he was carrying?

Probably because all I can focus on is his blue eyes. And his body. Durango is wearing a T-shirt that's not doing anything to hide his muscular physique.

He clears his throat and opens his mouth, but no words come out. He grabs his water and drinks it halfway down.

This is so awkward. Although, I'm not sure what I was expecting. Part of me was hoping we'd joke around like we used to. But why should I expect that? I'm sure Ozzie told him everything I said. No, I need to explain myself.

Before I can, he pushes a sandwich in my direction. "I hope you still like tuna sandwiches."

My heart beats hard, and I have to blink back the tears that threaten to fall suddenly. "You remembered?"

He shrugs. "Hard to forget. Pricilla used to make such a big deal out of it anytime you had one around her."

I laugh. His sister was my best friend in high school. We spent all our time together at her place. It's how I met her older brother, Durango, all those years ago. We didn't talk too much back then. But that changed ten years ago when he and his friend, Ozzie, showed up at a bar I was at in Virginia. They were both still in the military. It was Durango I wanted, but he thought of me like a sister. I had this stupid idea that if I dated his friend, he'd see me as a woman. Surprise, it didn't work.

I glance up at him. He's staring at his sandwich, frowning. The longer I wait, the harder this will be. I need to rip off the band-aid and just say it.

I stare at the table. "I was never really into Ozzie. I used him to make you jealous all those years ago. It was dumb and immature. I realize that now. Durango, I'm so sorry. Instead of playing games, I should have been direct, but I knew you weren't interested in me. I had this crazy thought that if you saw another man want me, maybe you'd want me." I take a breath. "I never meant to hurt your relationship with Ozzie. I'm so sorry."

Slowly, I raise my gaze to his.

He sets his sandwich down. "You knew I wasn't interested? How did you reach that conclusion?"

I look away again, embarrassed to admit this, but hell, how could it be worse than anything else I've said? "Do you remember the last time we were all at your parents' house on New Year's Eve? It was during my senior year of college." I glance up at him, and he nods. "I overheard your sister ask you if you were interested in me."

He closes his eyes and groans.

"You told her you only thought of me as a sister."

He runs his hand through his hair. "You heard that?"

I nod as I unwrap my sandwich, taking a bite so I don't keep talking. I just admitted I knew he was never interested after saying I was. Way to make things even more awkward.

"I lied to Pricilla," he says.

My mouth freezes mid-chew. "What?" It comes out garbled, but hopefully, he understood.

He leans back in the chair. "I guess my sister didn't tell you, but she threatened to shave my eyebrows in my sleep if I so much as flirted with you."

I swallow and turn my gaze to his. "Shave your eyebrows?"

He nods. "I used to be a deep sleeper. So, I lied to my sister and avoided you."

Durango wads his wrapper and napkins and tosses them into the bag. "Since we're being so honest, you should know I wanted to ask you out back when we were in Virginia ten years ago. But I didn't because I had the impression you liked Ozzie. Then you two dated, and that confirmed that." His jaw clenches. He's angry.

He wanted to ask me out?

"You didn't give any signs."

He stands and walks to the window.

"I'm sorry for what I did. It was immature. Do you think you can forgive me?" I ask.

He turns to face me. "Honesty is very important to me. And while I appreciate you are being forthcoming now, it doesn't negate the fact that you tried to trick me in the past."

I set my food down, no longer hungry. "I understand." My eyes well again, this time with tears of sorrow, so I stare at the table, hoping he won't notice.

"Why did you come to New York?" Durango asks.

His question catches me off guard.

"What?" I dare to glance up.

The man is staring at me intently. "Why did you come here?"

"I needed to get out of Portland. Ozzie offered me a place. And he said you lived here, too."

He steps over to the table. "You came here to escape something?"

I nod. "But I wanted to come here when I found out you were here."

"Why?"

I swallow. The man says he wants honesty. "Because even after all these years, I still think about you. Even if you only want to be friends, I miss having you in my life. I miss you, Durango." I wait for him to say something, but I'm greeted with silence. "Say something," I say.

He clears his throat. "I'm not sure if I can deal with that right now."

I stand up. "Deal with that?"

"Deal with you. What you did with Ozzie hurt. And then to find out it was just some game? Yeah, I'm not sure I can get past that."

A sob escapes, despite my best efforts to hold it back. "Please, Durango. It was ten years ago. I was a different person."

"I need time. I have to get back to work." He turns and leaves without another glance.

I fall back into my chair and let the tears fall. Why did he come here and bring me lunch if he just wanted to tell me he couldn't deal with me?

I grab my phone and then stare at it, realizing there is no one I can call. It's been too long to call any of my old friends out of the blue, upset like this…if they'd even talk to me. I wouldn't blame them if they didn't answer at all.

Stop. I need to stop. This wallowing isn't going to get me anywhere. I finish my lunch and focus my attention on work. One thing I am good at is my job. Thankfully, I work remotely and can focus on it whenever I need it. Like right now, when it feels like my world is falling apart. Again.

Later that day, my phone buzzes with a text from Ozzie.

Ozzie: I'm heading home. I'll grab some dinner on the way.

I stare at the message. Dinner? My stomach growls as I check the time. I've been working for five hours.

Ozzie will ask me what happened with Durango. My heart sinks. I don't want to talk about it.

Willow: Don't worry about me for dinner. I'm going to walk around the city for a while.

I touch up my makeup and leave the apartment before Ozzie gets home. I walk several blocks before I am on a street filled with restaurants. This place is so different from what I'm used to. You can find everything you need within walking distance here.

I order a slice of pizza and then grab a seat at the only table outside. Durango's words play over and over in my head. He can't deal with me. It's familiar.

He said that a few times to his sister back in high school. He usually would stay mad at her for a week, but eventually, everything would go back to normal.

Maybe that's what is happening here. I just dropped the truth on him tonight. Perhaps in time, he will realize that I was young and immature ten years ago. I'll show him I'm not the same girl I used to be.

I finish the slice and stare out at the people walking by. How am I going to do that if he doesn't want to be around me?

I stand up and toss my napkins into the garbage. I'll give him space for now. He needs time to process everything, and I need to get my life back on track.

At the least, I hope he is willing to be friends. Because, despite his anger, one thing I realized when I saw him again is that I have really missed him.