Chapter 3

First Impressions

“ H ow else is a man supposed to attract a good wife?” Lord Canterbury winked at Jane. “You are every bit the prim and proper English rose. A veritable and delectable, modest woman.”

Jane forced herself not to wince. She was painfully aware of how sweaty Lord Canterbury’s hand was at it clasped hers . A sweet, cloying cologne mingled with a particularly pungent and human scent. It was hot, almost painfully hot and for some reason everything seemed far too bright. If I didn’t love Cressida half as much as I do, then I would not have come to yet another ball.

“Curse being maid of honour and needing to attend the engagement ball.” Jane muttered under her breath without thinking as the world seemed to shift in and out of focus. What is wrong with me? Is my corset too tight?

“Pardon?” Lord Canterbury asked.

“Oh nothing. I… It doesn’t matter.” Jane’s thoughts felt sluggish; she fought the urge to extract herself at once, only resisting because she knew her mother was watching her. I should never have let her talk me into this.

Lord Canterbury gestured to Jane, his eyes lingering for a fraction too long on her chest. “I see that you care not for the more immodest fashions of the French. It is always nice to see an English woman dressed properly.”

“Am I? I…” Jane was struggling to focus, even as she noticed the man’s wandering eye, her voice seemed suddenly far away. When did I last eat?

She tried to plough through the molasses of her brain to discover the answer. I remember eating breakfast, surely I must have eaten lunch? I would not have forgotten, would I? Yet she had no memory of eating another meal. Her thoughts had been consumed with trepidation of the upcoming ball.

Lord Canterbury smiled ingratiatingly at her. “And so quiet. Honestly, it is so unusual to find a wallflower like you. A regular shrinking violet. Such a change from the other young women.”

Nausea threatened to overcome her, even as her anger flared. It seemed as though she were looking at everything through a particularly dirty window. The noise of the room hit her like a wall of bricks. She wanted to leave. No, she needed to leave

“I think… I must… If you could just… Excuse me.” Jane broke away from Lord Canterbury just as the floor beneath her began to roll ominously, drowning out her stab of anger.

Her vision faded to black. Her legs seemed suddenly unable to support her weight . She stumbled, anticipating colliding with the cold hard floor, but hands caught her.

Her eyes flew open and she saw the concerned expression of Marquess Glastonbury, her friend, Cressida Minton’s fiancé. A little behind him, was Cressida herself and to Jane’s frustration, her own mother.

“Thank you.” Jane murmured as the Marquess helped her to her feet. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cause such a fuss. I… It… I… In the excitement of tonight, I fear I was rather silly and forgot to eat.”

“That is easily done.” Cressida said, taking Jane’s hand with a worried expression on her face. “I have often done the same. Come, let us get you somewhere a little less public and you might recover your strength.”

Jane felt her colour deepen, but nodded instantly regretting it as it made the room begin to sway again. “That would be most kind, but please, do not feel you need to accompany me. After all, this is all for you and I would hate for you to miss any part of it on my account.”

“Nonsense.” Lord Glastonbury smiled kindly at Jane, his green eyes full of warmth. “You are one of my darling Cressida’s dearest friends. What kind of host would I be if I did not ensure you were well.”

“And you will be hard pressed to be rid of me, dearest Jane.” Cressida squeezed Jane’s hand again, her eyes soft as she glanced at her fiancé. “Besides, I need a break from all the well-wishing and would welcome the excuse for a little respite.”

“But- ” Jane began, guilt for disrupting such a beautiful evening flowing through her.

“- There is no but. Now come, let us go to the library. You can recover your strength there.” Cressida flagged one of the nearby servants down. “Please could you have some light food and refreshment sent to the library.”

“Of course.” The servant bowed and disappeared from sight.

Jane felt as though all eyes were on her, but there was very little she could do about it. She allowed Cressida and Lord Glastonbury to lead her from the ballroom, her mother following close behind.

“I should have checked that you had eaten. I know what you are like, I was just so focused on –” Lady Cotswalts began and Jane was sure she was about to speak of procuring her a match.

Jane interrupted her mother, “It is no fault of yours. I am a woman fully grown, and should be more than capable of ensuring I remain fed.”

Before her mother could answer, the Marquess had paused outside of the door, frowning slightly.

“What is the matter?” Jane asked, the nausea was returning once more. Not again .

“There is something, the door appears to be stuck.” Lord Glastonbury jiggled the handle.

As he did so, Jane heard what she was certain were the sounds of low voices. Some light scuffling. Was that a woman laughing? She shook her head, sure she must be imagining things.

“Ah, good, that’s done it. Blasted thing, I must ask my steward to-” began Lord Glastonbury as the door to the library swung open and the scene before them stole speech from his lips.

Cressida gasped and clutched at Jane for support. Every muscle in the Marquess’s body seemed to tense. Jane glanced at her mother, and noted her eyes narrow in disapproval.

Before them, standing far too close for propriety was a man and a woman. The woman was trailing her hand on the man’s chest, her fingernails longer than Jane thought entirely proper. She was pretty, with green eyes and red hair.

“Oh, I hadn’t planned on an audience.” The woman said in tones that reminded Jane of a cat stalking its prey. “I am sure we can pick this up another time, my dear Duke.”

The woman slipped from the room, leaving the man sitting on the edge of table, his arms folded as he stared after her. He was tall, and his brown hair was tousled, as though a hand had been running through it moments before.

His blue eyes passed over the group, in an expression Jane could not quite read until he noticed the women with Marquess. An apologetic expression stole over his face and he went to open his mouth.

Cressida shrieked. “I told you, I told you one hundred times not to invite him. And look, look what he has done!”

“Cressida, darling. I am sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation.” The Marquess made soothing gestures towards his wife as he cast a frustrated look at his friend.

“What reasonable explanation can there be? What if the other guest’s saw his behaviour? Heavens above, the scandal! A man, in a darkened room, alone with a woman. What would my father think? What will your mother think of me?” Cressida clutched at her chest and Jane knew that her friend would be imagining the very worst of the ton and their behaviour.

“Mother thinks the world of you, and the Duke is my guest. I will take responsibility for my actions.” The Marquess spoke gently, and took hold of Cressida’s hands.

Unfortunately, Cressida seemed not to hear him. “They will think it is because of my low birth and I shall be the laughing stock of the ton. What if the guests discover this transgression? It will be all anyone will talk about for years.”

“Cressida, we are the only ones who know. And all we know for certain is that Rochester was in the library with a woman. That is hardly the scandal of the season.” Lady Cotswalts interjected, moving towards Cressida. “I would know. But we must keep our heads.”

Her mother was right. Jane looked at her hysterical friend, trying to organize her thoughts. She tried to form words, fully intending to inject some semblance of reasonableness into the proceedings.

“While I admit it is rather improper behaviour, what we need now is to be calm. I do not plan on spreading any rumours, nor I expect, does my mother.” Jane said as reasonably as she could manage.

“But what if people find out?” Cressida was breathing fast, her eyes darting about in panic.

“Find out what exactly? I assure you, Miss Minton, nothing untoward has happened. We did not even kiss.” The man smiled, charming, his voice seeming to drip with reassurance.

Cressida began to wail and Jane shot the man a look that said he was not helping the situation. Why did he have to bring up kissing?

“Not that we would have kissed.” The man said, though his words were difficult to hear over Cressida. “It was a misunderstanding that is all.”

“I do not know what I expected, after all, he is Duke Caden. Or rather, ‘Blake the Rake’.” Cressida shook her head.

Jane moved closer towards her friend, wanting to console her and to hopefully calm her down. Unfortunately, as she did so, the room swayed and her eyes lost focus once more. She stumbled and would have fallen had Duke Caden not strode forward and caught her.

Their eyes met and the smell of orange blossom and sandalwood washed over Jane. Everything came back into focus as the Duke carefully helped her to her feet, his eyes dancing in the firelight. He smiled at her.

“It seems your guest is rather over excited, perhaps we should calm everything down lest she faint again.” The Duke’s words swept over her, and Jane flushed.

Her cheeks turned red with embarrassment. “I am not over excited. I just forgot to eat.”

“Then perhaps you should remedy that.” The Duke smiled, and Jane suspected it was intended to be charming.

She only found it irritating. “That was our intent. And it would already have been remedied, had we not stumbled into you and your entanglement.”

“All you stumbled into was a misunderstanding.” The Duke took a step back, running a hand through his hair and sighing.

“A rather close misunderstanding.” Jane pointed out, only too happy to let her embarrassment be replaced by irritation. I did nothing wrong. Who is he to make sport of me?

“I only wanted some respite from the ball, a bit of a respite . I had thought to take some time to myself when the Earl’s widow followed me. I did nothing to invite such a pursuit.” The Duke gestured around him, the corner’s of his lips quirking upwards.

“I find that rather hard to believe, unless ‘Blake the Rake’ is some kind of ironic moniker rather than a nickname.” Jane raised her eyebrow at the Duke, a challenge that she was unafraid to make.

“Whether or not I deserve that title is neither here nor there. I am sorry that I have caused upset, but really, nothing happened. This is all just a silly misunderstanding.” The Duke waived a hand dismissively.

“A silly misunderstanding that has seriously upset one of my dearest friends.” Jane retorted, glancing at Cressida who was still being consoled by her fiancé and Jane’s mother – anger swelled within her. “Do not try and trivialise this just to assuage your own guilt.”

“I am not trivialising anything. Simply contextualising it. And I am not trying to assuage anyone’s guilt. But do not expect me to pander to someone else’s sensibilities when I have done nothing wrong.”

The arrogance of this man. “Nothing wrong? I saw that woman’s hand on your chest. Saw how close you were standing!”

“Is standing close a crime now?” The Duke laughed softly.

“Not a crime, but hardly gentlemanly behaviour.” Jane clenched her fist. How dare he laugh at me? “Just because something is not a crime, does not mean that your actions are somehow excusable or even justified. Do you have no shame?”

“What use have I for shame?” The Duke narrowed his eyes.

“Perhaps it would lend you a little humility or consideration. If you are capable of such a thing.” Jane replied hotly. “Or are you so selfish that you do not care about the hurt you have caused?”

“You know nothing about me.” The Duke hissed.

“I know enough.” Jane glowered at him.

“While I regret the upset I have caused to our hosts, I am hardly solely to blame.” An unreadable look crossed the Duke’s face. “After all, there was another party involved.”

“No, but you are hardly the victim. Or do you mean to tell me that someone of your…” Jane paused as she surveyed the Duke pointedly. “Stature could not defend himself from the unwanted advances of a woman.”

“I am glad you think so much of my stature.” Duke Caden smirked mockingly.

“That was not what I said.” Jane felt her anger war with her embarrassment. He is enjoying this.

He wanted her off balance and that irked her. Fine, if he wants to play games let us see how well he can play . “Let me speak plainly: I find it hard to believe that you were unable to shirk the advances of a woman who barely comes up to your shoulder. Unless, of course, you really are that weak.”

The Duke’s jaw tightened and Jane noticed with some satisfaction that her comment appeared to have hit the mark. “I am not weak.”

“Then you should have been able to behave yourself.”

“Weakness has nothing to do with any of this.” The Duke took a steadying breath, but Jane could still see the anger in his expression. “Considering this is not even your ball, nor your estate you have rather a lot of opinions about my behaviour. Perhaps it is less that it has offended you and more that you are jealous?”

“Honestly, if this is your attempt at an apology to your hosts it really is a poor one.” Jane scoffed.

“Well perhaps if I was not so busy saving their guests, I would be able to do it justice.” Duke Caden said.

“I did not need rescuing.” Jane hugged her arms across her chest. “I am not some damsel in distress, and you are certainly no valiant knight.”

Duke Caden raised an eyebrow at her. “Should I have let you hit the floor? You know, most people would say thank you.”

“Most people would not antagonise their host’s guests after transgressing upon propriety.” Jane shot back, her temper flaring.

“I am not trying to antagonise you. I am trying to lighten the mood.” The Duke said shaking his head.

“And you are doing a poor job of it.” Jane continued, “Honestly, has no one tried to put you on a decent, proper path?”

“Oh, many have tried. I assure you.” The Duke’s face was dark for a moment, almost too quick for Jane to see before his irritating smile returned. “But I have found life is best when it is lived.”

“And what if that path hurts others?” Jane countered.

“W ho has it hurt? There has been no actual harm, just a minor breach of propriety, agreed upon by both parties.” The Duke took a step towards her, closing the distance between them entirely. “Perhaps in time, you will learn to lighten up a little.”

She refused to back away from him, and held her ground, a defiant look in her eyes as she took a steadying breath. “If lightening up makes me anything like you, I would prefer to keep my delicate sensibilities. Thank you.”

“Perhaps you might enjoy it.” The Duke murmured.

“I doubt that. I care about the people around me.” Jane met the Duke’s gaze, refusing to be charmed.

An odd look crossed the Duke’s face, and Jane sensed she had touched a nerve. Good. Let him feel the consequences of his actions. He thought he could cow her, but she was not the one who had behaved badly. He is in the wrong, not me.

“And you think I do not?” The Duke canted his head, his eyes glinting in the firelight.

“Do you?” Jane asked, letting the challenge seep into her voice. “You have a rather strange way of showing it if that is the case.”

“Do not mistake a disdain for the arbitrary rules of propriety for a lack of care.” The Duke’s voice was silky smooth, but there was an edge to it that Jane could not quite place.

“Is it not through propriety that we show we care?” Jane frowned up at him.

“Propriety asks for nothing more than blind obedience. And life is too short for such things.” The Duke’s eyes were hard, even while his mouth curved into a mocking smile. “Do not mistake our society’s rules for anything else.”

Jane shook her head. “Perhaps it just asks us to be the best versions of ourselves. Holds us to the principles so that we may be more than mere beasts.”

“Is that what you truly believe?” The Duke’s eyes searched her face.

“I-” Jane began, taken aback by the intensity of his gaze, frustrated by his smirking challenge.

“Jane, come away at once! There is no use arguing with a man like that.” Lady Cotswalt’s voice cut through the air like a knife.

It was as if something in the room had shattered. Jane took a hasty step away from the Duke, her head spinning slightly as she did so. Her mother gripped her arm. The man raised an eyebrow at her, glanced at the small group and sighed.

“I will take my leave.” The Duke bowed low. “Please, accept my deepest apologies, Miss Minton. Glassbury, I assure you it was never my intention to cause you or your betrothed such distress.”

The Duke moved towards the door, and Jane couldn’t help but watch as he walked away. At the last moment, he turned, catching sight of her watching him. He grinned.

Jane felt herself flush, and glanced away. As she did so, she thought she heard a soft laugh. Irritation prickled at her. You should have held his gaze. Now he will think he has won.

“It was a pleasure meeting you.” The Duke called softly, and left before Jane could think of anything to say in reply.

She had completely forgotten that anyone else was there. She glanced at her mother, relieved to see the dislike clear on her face. At least she will not tell me off for speaking my mind.

Cressida looked equal parts shocked and angry. For a heartbeat, Jane worried she had gone too far, that she had made the situation worse with her outspokenness. Fool, you always do this. Speak before you can engage your mind . But as Cressida caught Jane’s eye, she could see an appreciation there that allayed her fears.

“What an utterly contemptable rogue.” Lady Cotswalts fumed as the door to the library swung shut. “What kind of man behaves like that? In someone else’s house no less!”

“Indeed. Dear Cressida, are you well?” Jane moved to Cressida’s side..

“I will be, I confess, I think Jane’s outburst may have been more of a surprise than the Duke’s actions.” Cressida smiled weakly. “I do not think I have seen you quite so fiery before.”

“Well I couldn’t let him just stand there and smirk, acting like he’d done nothing wrong. Not when I could see how upset you were.” Jane scowled.

“And you made a valiant attempt.” Cressida acknowledged.

“If I never have to see the Duke of Caden again, it will be too soon!” Jane exclaimed.

An embarassed look crossed Cressida’s face, but before she could ask about it, a servant emerged with a small tray of food and tea. He laid it before them, and they began to eat their food in silence.

The scent of orange blossom and sandalwood lingered, and Jane scowled. Of course, he would have such a cloying perfume that it would be impossible to remove any trace of him for hours.

“I shall be sorry for whatever poor woman he chooses to be his wife.” Lady Cotswalts said. “There can be no worse fate than being tied to that man until your dying day.”

“There is no fear of that, it is well known that ‘Blake the Rake’ never means to take a wife.” Cressida explained the moment she’d swallowed her mouthful of sandwich.

“More’s the pity, a good woman might knock some sense into him.” Lady Cotswalts shook her head.

Jane nodded her agreement. Though it hardly seems fair to expect a woman to fix a man. No matter the match her father chose for her, she could be reassured that at least he would not be anything like Duke Caden.