Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

“ H e is going to be fine, you know,” Ambrose stated, handing Helena a glass of water.

After hours of chaos, the house was finally quiet again. Reuben was being stitched up at the local jail. Luke’s body was carried away. Josiah was taken home, and Morgan was upstairs, still asleep from the small surgery he had needed. The doctor had assured them that he and Helena would be fine.

Upon hearing that she had been being drugged with nightshade, the physician had immediately performed a physical, then prescribed her a tonic that would quickly flush the sedative from her system. Ambrose had mixed the powder into the water as the doctor instructed and was now looking at her to drink it.

Helena drained the glass without a word and sat it down on the table as she stared at the floor. Now that it was all over and her secret was out, she could not look at him. Reuben had seen. Perhaps not everything, but enough to ruin her if word got out.

“How long has this been going on with Morgan?” Ambrose asked, his tone patient.

“Just over a month,” Helena replied. She did not want to lie anymore. Not after seeing everyone else’s lies and deceptions unfolding before her. The pain and suffering they had all been put through. All because of so many deceitful lies.

“Do you love him?” Ambrose asked.

Yes.

“I do not know,” Helena replied. “I-I love when we are together. He is a different person. Not the comic he so obviously plays in front of you. He takes me seriously.”

“ I take you seriously,” Ambrose quickly replied, and when she glared at him, he glanced away with a pained look.

“Not seriously enough, I suppose,” he muttered. “You tried to tell me you wanted to wait for love, but I paid no attention. You had just grown so… unhappy, it seemed, as we all coupled up. I thought that if you were wed you would find the happiness we have.”

“Would Barbara have been happy if she had given in to being married to the other lord vying for her hand?” Helena asked. “Would you have been happy?”

“No,” Ambrose murmured, a pained look skittering across his face. After working up the courage to look at her again, he asked, “tell me what happened.”

Helena gave him the details that mattered, including her yearning for experience, the list she had created, and her push for Morgan to be her teacher. She told him how Morgan had first refused, and how she had convinced him to do it. She was grateful that Ambrose did not ask for the specific items on her list.

“I knew something was going on,” Ambrose sighed when she finished. “Morgan had been acting so strangely. I thought his over-protectiveness was like mine, but clearly I was wrong.”

He sounded hurt, and for the first time, Helena lifted her eyes to him.

“He is still your best friend, Ambrose,” she insisted quietly. “That will never change.”

He slowly nodded and looked at her.

“And you? What is he to you?” He asked. “A brother? Or something more?”

Her silence seemed to be enough of an answer, and Ambrose only nodded.

“I am sorry,” he went on after a while. “For pushing Luke onto you. For not looking into him further.”

“You wanted what was best for me,” Helena replied with a soft smile, “Like you always have.”

“Always,” Ambrose replied meaningfully, the smallest smile touching his lips.

“This time you were simply wrong.”

Ambrose let out a weak laugh at her jest.

“I was awful. I almost forced you to be his wife. And when Luke lunged for you, I was not there,” he replied.

Helena winced as she thought back to the moment she had pushed Luke and heard his head crack against the floor. For a moment, she had been sure she had killed him. She did not even believe she had the strength to make him stumble. And yet, when she had pushed him with all of her remaining might, he had sailed backwards like a kite.

He would live, but only in the barest form of the definition. Now that a few hours had passed and a physician was able to take a better look at Luke, they had stated that his quality of life — and length of life — were now severely limited and he’d need full nursing care. A luxury neither Helena nor Ambrose were sure that the Crown’s arm of justice would be willing to supply. He could no longer walk. No longer talk. He could only lie there, and stare back silently. It was worse than death, Helena thought.

“You acted in self-defense; you will not even have to suffer a day in court for this, Helena, I swear to you.”

“I nearly killed him,” she rasped.

“He was trying to kill you,” Ambrose retorted coldly. “He was poisoning you. He deserved worse.”

Helena winced and looked down at the floor.

“Please,” he continued, when she did not respond. “How can I make this up to you?”

“Let me marry in my own good time,” Helena stated, her answer both clear and immediate. “ If I choose to marry.”

“Done,” Ambrose stated quickly. “I will buy whatever property you want. I will support you in whatever manner you wish, even if it is the life of spinster.”

“And,” Helena pressed forward, “you need to forgive Morgan. For hiding my secret from you, and everything else.”

Silence filled the room again as Ambrose struggled to accept her final request.

“You are my baby sister,” he rasped, looking at her with a pained expression. “He was, is , my best friend. The two of you should never have…”

“It was upon my insistence,” Helena repeated, cutting him off. Ambrose flinched at the words as if they were a blow to his face.

“I understand that you may not wish to know that about me, brother, but I am more than just your sister. I am a woman. And while they are limited, there are some decisions I have the right to make. Also, please remember, Ambrose, that if Reuben had not been spying on us, no one would have been the wiser. Morgan kept his promise. He kept my identity safe. He kept me safe.”

“I do not want to hear any more about what Morgan did or did not do for you,” Ambrose retorted hurriedly.

Helena closed her mouth and nodded. She did not have a particular desire for that either.

“Morgan tried to talk me out of it,” she said at last, knowing they had to finish the conversation somehow. “I was simply too stubborn to take his advice.”

Ambrose huffed.

“Now that I believe,” he said with a smirk.

The two of them shared an affectionate look, and Ambrose shook his head.

“I do not how I ever came to the conclusion that Luke was the right man for you. You need a man who is stronger than you. Despite his malicious subterfuge, Luke would never have been able to control you.”

“I do not think many men can,” Helena replied honestly. “I was raised by you and your band of brothers, Ambrose, there was strength and stubbornness everywhere I looked. Of course I was going to take after you.”

A look of pride shone in Ambrose’s eyes as a touch of a smile graced his lips.

“So Morgan…” he went on hesitantly, “Morgan makes you feel as if…?”

“As if I do not have to be so strong,” Helena breathed, her breath trembling as her truth finally came out. She had been searching for the words within herself for weeks, but it was now that she could finally say them. Morgan removed her mantle of burdens and let her rest. Let her be cared for, completely.

A knock on the door interrupted their moment, and a maid popped her head in through the double doors.

“I beg your pardon, Your Grace, my lady, but the nurse has sent me. Lord Grandhill is beginning to stir. He should be waking soon.”

Helena’s heart throbbed in her chest as she rose to her feet too rapidly. The world spun again, but only for a moment this time, and she looked at Ambrose.

“I need to be there when he wakes up,” she stated. It was not a request.

Ambrose nodded and motioned with his hand for her to go. She took a step towards the door, wishing she was already upstairs, but she stopped and turned back to her brother.

“Come with me,” she urged gently.

“I do not know if I can.”

“He is your brother,” Helena stated. “In every way but blood, and has been so nearly all of your life. Whatever happens next between Morgan and me, I do not want that bond between you to fade. Ever. Come brother, please. He will want to see you.”

Ambrose’s brow furrowed as his jaw tensed, struggling for a moment with his raw emotions.

“You are wise beyond your years, Helena,” he rasped, standing up to join her.

“Thank you,” she replied, looping her arm around his. “I get it from my brother.”