Chapter 4

As Justin held her in his arms, his heart beat so hard he couldn’t breathe. He was burning with desire for her. The feel of her folds on his lips, the taste of her on his tongue… God, he’d never wanted anyone or anything more in his entire life.

He’d thought she’d never forgive him.

But now that she’d given herself to him… Did he dare hope that she returned his love?

That she could forgive him?

“Anne…” he whispered against her ear.

He gently let go of her and dropped to his knee. The rain was getting weaker now, thunder rolling in the distance. Raindrops pattered against the leaves and branches, whispered over the grass and wildflowers.

Nature was their only witness.

He looked up into her face, into her big, gray-blue eyes, wide with shock.

“Anne,” he said, taking her hand in his. “Leaving you four years ago was the worst decision of my life. I cannot tell you how much I regret that I caved in to the pressure of my family to leave you.”

He swallowed hard as he breathed.

“I never stopped loving you. I never stopped thinking about you. Having you in my arms, feeling you claim your pleasure… I could only dream about that in my most intimate, secret dreams. Please, can you forgive me?”

She opened her mouth, but no words came.

“If you do, will you marry me?”

Anne blinked, a visible tremor going through her body. He picked up his coat to wrap it around her for warmth, but her eyebrows drew together, and her mouth closed in a thin line. His heart dropped.

“This sounds familiar, Justin,” she said, color drawing to her cheeks. “Wait a moment, I have heard this once before…four years ago. What is this, some kind of a jest? You humiliated me then. Do you intend to repeat the great entertainment?”

She couldn’t have pierced him deeper with a blade. This was exactly his worst fear, that he’d miss his second chance.

“No, Anne, I am serious. I will not betray you again. We can leave for Gretna Green right now, if you wish, and marry within three days.”

She scoffed. “And you’ll have your way with me, ruin me completely, and my family—who have just started to recover from the scandal of twelve years—is going to be utterly destroyed. My sisters will never have a chance at a good match. Patience’s children will carry the stigma for the rest of their lives. Not to mention that I will never have another opportunity at marriage and will never have children of my own.”

Every word was justified. Every single one like a blow to his stomach.

“And what about Lady Isodora Williams? Are you not courting her?”

“No,” he replied. “Mama wants me to, but I will not. I want to court you. I want to marry you.”

She shook her head.

“You almost ruined me just now,” she said, her hands shaking as she stepped away from him, clutching the sides of his coat around her waist. “I will not be such a fool as last time.”

And with that, still holding his coat around her shoulders, she ran into the rain.

Anne ran through the woods, in the general direction of the Pryde Manor. She was wet, humiliated, distraught. She had no way to cover herself except the protection of Justin’s coat around her.

If anyone saw her like this, she’d be ruined. Her family would be ruined.

How could she have been so stupid? Given in to her body’s desires?

“Anne, is that you?” came Patience’s voice.

She turned around and saw her sister waving to her through the window of a carriage that stood on the road, through layers and layers of vegetation.

“Oh, Patience,” Anne gasped in relief, and she hurried towards her, wet branches slapping against her tattered gown as she pushed through bushes to reach the road.

Thankfully, her sister was alone in the carriage. Only the coachman was on the driver’s seat.

“Are you all right? asked Patience, concern in her eyes. She grabbed Anne’s cold hands as she sat on the seat opposite Patience. What happened to your clothes?”

Anne whimpered. “I fell and my gown tore.”

“I can’t see anyone else,” came a male voice from outside, accompanied by horse’s hooves.

Through the window, she could see the Duke of Pryde come riding up on his horse.

“Miss Rose,” he said, frowning. “Are you well?”

His gaze dropped to her knees, to Justin’s coat wrapped around her waist.

“Is that Chans’s coat?” he asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

Dread crept through Anne’s body, and horror filled Patience’s eyes.

“Anne, he hasn’t forced himself?”

Anne shook her head. “No, no, he didn’t. Nothing happened. Please, Your Grace,” she turned to Pryde. “He’s not to blame.”

“Have you been alone with him?” he asked, shock clearly visible under the polite mask.

“He only helped me when I fell and ruined my clothes,” she said. “There was nothing untoward that happened.”

She had to lie, she knew. For her own sake, but also because Justin had not done anything she didn’t want him to.

“Oh,” said Pryde, “I suppose that’s not unexpected.”

Anne frowned. “Whatever do you mean?”

“He’d always helped you.”

Patience frowned. “Forgive me, but how so? The last we heard from him was four years ago.”

“Wait… You don’t know?” asked Pryde. “I thought he told you.”

“Told me what?” asked Anne.

“Well, he has championed your mathematical efforts this entire time. He followed your attempts to publish your work, and when he heard you were rejected everywhere you tried, he had a talk with Sir Poole. He found out that most of the time, you were rejected because they saw a female name on the author’s page and did not even look inside. He convinced him to read at least the first few pages.”

Anne’s hand shot to her mouth as Patience and she exchanged a look. “It was him, sister,” she whispered. “Thanks to him my treatise was published.”

Could she have been wrong about him? Had she judged him too harshly? Was her fear of rejection blinding her to the ways in which he had grown in the past four years?

The sound of more hooves approached, and the Duke of Rath rode into sight, clearly surprised at the gathering.

“Anne,” he said, frowning. “Is everything all right?”

Anne exchanged a gaze with Patience, who smiled at her.

“He proposed,” she whispered. “Again…and I rejected him.”

Patience’s smile widened. “Do you still love him, dearest?”

“I do… But I’m so terrified he’d abandon me again.”

Pryde let out a long exhale and exchanged a glance with Rath.

“I daresay, the Earl of Chans is a man of his word,” he said. “It would surprise me greatly if he did not mean his proposal, Miss Rose. Especially since he was uncertain if he could commit the time to my house party this season…until he learned you would be in attendance.”

Anne felt suddenly faint, and she sucked in a shaky breath, swaying in her seat.

“Darling, what do you say we return to the manor, get you changed,” said Patience. “Perhaps a bath will help you clear your mind. You’ll know what to do then, sister.”

Later in the evening, when Anne was dressed for dinner, her heart beating hard in her chest. She couldn’t believe her own desires. Was she truly ready to forgive the man who’d hurt her most?

As she descended to the great hall, there he was, standing alone, looking out of the window. Her breath hitched in her chest as she walked closer to him, his features stern and sad.

“Justin,” she said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He turned, his eyes intense. “Tell you what, Miss Rose?”

“What you did for me…that you helped with my publication.”

“It was the least I could do. You deserved the recognition. All I did was open someone’s eyes.”

“Thank you,” she said, stepping closer to him. “I… Perhaps I misjudged you. Perhaps I was wrong.”

He blinked, and she could see hope blazing in his gaze. “Anne, are you…have you changed your mind?”

Distantly, she was aware of the guests gathering around them. The whisper of dresses and the murmur of voices.

“Ask me again,” she said with a smile. “And you’ll find out.”

He exhaled a sharp breath and dropped to one knee.

For the third time in their lives…

“Miss Anne Rose,” he said, “I have loved you since I was a boy. I have dreamed of you my whole life. Will you do the greatest honor of my life and marry me?”

She felt her smile widen. Her heart was soaring, a little bird flapping in her chest. She nodded and took his hand in hers. Their eyes connected, and suddenly there were no more guests, no judging eyes, no whispers of gossip and malice.

There was just him and her, and the simple truth.

She’d always belonged to him, as he belonged to her. Perhaps, they only needed to grow and change to finally be together.

She said just one small word before her heart burst in fireworks of love and joy.

“Yes.”

Thanks for reading EARL OF CHANS .