Chapter 25

25

Lucien hung his head, dragging in rapid breaths. He needed to compose himself. What on earth was he doing, standing with his hand on the wall of Pryde’s library, while he felt his entire world falling apart.

It was true… He’d created another human being to take care of while he couldn’t even take care of himself. And he’d always been so careful. Using condoms. Pulling out of a woman before he could spill his seed. He didn’t remember when he had ever finished inside a woman…

But the worst was losing Chastity.

His choices had been clear. Open his heart and propose to her or reject her and return to his safe, old life.

Open his heart and accept a child he never knew about. Become a father. And maybe even a husband, if Chastity would have been willing to attach herself to him and his child.

Or keep indulging in pleasure, drinking, and whoring around.

And never be hurt.

When it came to it, when he looked into Chastity’s eyes, and the violet eyes of golden-haired Stella—so much like his mother’s—he knew that, eventually, Chastity would see through him, would see how truly unworthy he was.

I should have aborted you like I wanted to. I never wanted to bring another Luhst vermin into this world.

Stella would be Luhst vermin, too. He’d corrupt her. Somehow, he’d spoil that beautiful angel. And she would hate him for it. Just as he hated his own parents for breaking his heart with their cruelty.

And how could he drag Chastity’s spotless name through the mud like his own? If he proposed, it wouldn’t just be his scandalous story in the papers but hers, as well. Sooner or later, her love and affection for him would fade as she saw him for what he really was.

Vermin.

And she’d reject him forever.

And that would kill him.

So he had rejected her first.

Because no matter how much he had wanted to become worthy of her, truth was, he knew he never could.

“Duke.” Lady Osborn pressed her breasts against him—he’d almost forgotten she was there despite her nearness. “I thought you might have come back to your senses. You’ve been out of sorts this entire house party. Let me console you. It must have been so disheartening, hearing of an unwanted child.”

He breathed hard as her hand stroked his back. He didn’t want her touch. He didn’t want anyone’s touch but Chastity’s.

He couldn’t imagine fucking anyone right now. What had happened in that ballroom… Chastity… That little girl, Stella… The old him would have jumped on Lady Osborn’s offer to forget. But he knew that would no longer satisfy his need for closeness nor make him forget his pain.

“Leave me,” he said as he shrugged her hand off his back. “There will be no consoling.”

“But, Luhst—” she purred. “You don’t need to fret about anything like this happening to me. I’m not of childbearing age, and I never could conceive when I was. You were right to reject that dirty creature. That old woman tried to convince a duke that he had fathered a rat from the sewers. You saw right through her.”

She’d called that little girl a rat! Vermin… Rage bubbled in his gut like acid. His fists clenched.

“Please,” he managed to spit out. “Leave!”

She retrieved her hands. “You have been leading me along for a month now, Sir. I have endured your seduction, then your coldness, then your renewed interest only because I had previously tasted your amorous abilities and wanted more. And as I never had a pleasurable experience with my deceased husband, I wanted to experience one night of pleasure.”

“No,” he said, and felt it in his heart, in his gut.

She shook her head. “As you wish. I should stay well away from you, anyway, given the scandal tonight’s events will cause.”

With that, she finally left him, and he was blessedly alone. He exhaled and looked out of the window.

Someone’s footsteps sounded from the hall, light and familiar. Looking towards the open doorway, he saw a figure in a gorgeous yellow-sapphire gown pass by, her hand pressed to her mouth.

Chastity…

“Congratulations,” Lucien spat out.

She stopped and turned to him. Unshed tears in her eyes glistened, but when she looked up at him, her gaze was full of fury.She marched into the library. Then stopped before him, beautiful and furious.“How dare you?” she demanded. “How dare you say ‘congratulations’ to me?”

“You’re engaged,” he snarled, tasting bitterness in his mouth. “What else is one supposed to say to that?”

She was shaking. “How dare you be cross, be bitter with me? When you were the one who gave me hope… When I’ve been perfectly fine with my place in life, with my heart being free of you.”

“Free of me,” he sputtered. “You just said yes to another man!”

“Rejoice, Lucien!” she yelled. “Is that not what you wanted all along? You had your fun with me while you couldn’t whore around during this month, but you never intended to marry me. I’m off your hands now as Lord Wardbury will be my husband, and so you’re free to return to your whoring!”

“Are you so desperate for any man’s attention you couldn’t wait for me to gather my thoughts?” he thundered. “So lonely you’d take any husband at all, even one who’s clearly so wrong for you?”

She jerked as though he’d slapped her, and he regretted his harsh words.

“Chastity—” he said, his voice softer.

“You had your chance to change and to take responsibility. There’s a child, a three-year-old girl with no mother and a face so much like your own only an utter scoundrel would deny her parentage! So, congratulations, Lucien. You may now return to your life of fun and pleasure. With no wife. No children. No one.”

“You should congratulate me,” he growled. “We both won the bet.”

“Well, finally. We all know what you’d like to do with me now that you are allowed to use your cock. One night alone with me—that was the prize we agreed on. Will you try to collect it after everything you’ve already done…in that cottage and in my bedchamber?”

He noticed the shadow looming in the doorframe far too late.

“Tell me that’s not true…” came a low male rumble.

Lucien’s blood turned to ice. He didn’t need to look. He already knew who it was.

When his eyes met his best friend’s, he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him.

Dorian walked slowly into the library, Patience at his heels.

Chastity watched him with a pale face.

“Tell me you didn’t try to seduce my sister,” spat Dorian when he stood two steps away from Lucien. “Surely, not you! My best friend.”

“Dorian, I—” Lucien began. His gut twisted, his jaw in a painful knot.

“You lied to me. To our brotherhood.”

“Dorian, please?—”

“What is the meaning of this shouting?”

The voice drew Lucien’s attention to the door of the library. Pryde stood there, and behind him Enveigh, Irevrence, Eccess, and Fortyne, staring at him and Dorian with stunned frowns.

God…they’ll know, too.

“After everything we’ve been through?” Dorian roared. “After Oxford? After…” His voice caught.

He yanked Lucien by the lapels of his coat. Lucien didn’t resist. He deserved everything that was coming for him. He winced as he prepared himself for the hit of Rath’s fist.

“A bet? A bet on my sister’s innocence?” Dorian growled as he shook Lucien. “That is low. Even for you!”

The knot in Lucien’s throat tightened and hurt. “I would have never gone through with it.”

“Brother, he didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to!” Chastity cried out.

“I will speak to you later!” Dorian never took his eyes off Lucien. “Go to your room!”

Dorian shoved Lucien, and he staggered back, pain radiating through him as his back hit the sharp edge of the desk. Wood scraped against wood as the desk shifted, books, papers, and ink jars and pens scattering around the floor.

“Honor thy family, Lucien!” Dorian bellowed. “You just dishonored mine!”

He raised his fist over Lucien, his damaged hand which he hadn’t hidden in a glove for months now. Lucien closed his eyes. He’d take the hit. Take any punishment Dorian and the rest saw fit.

“Stop it!” came Chastity’s voice, and the hit never came. “I am a grown woman, and I make my own decisions. The only dishonor he did was to himself. I’m still a virgin. My future husband has nothing to fret about.”

Dorian let him go and stood, panting, his upper lip curled in silent rage. One year ago, Dorian would have destroyed Lucien’s face, made a bloody pulp out of it. Today, he restrained himself. He was no longer his sin.

Why couldn’t Lucien conquer his demons, too?

Lucien rose from the desk.

He should tell them the truth. That he loved Chastity, had loved her his entire life. That he would rather die than see her hurt. And yet…

He was the one hurting her.

“Leave,” Dorian said. “Leave here. Leave my life. My sister’s life. You are no longer a brother of the Seven Dukes of Sin.”

Lucien felt like he was being crushed under the weight of a carriage, like a horse was stomping on his chest, reducing his heart to a bloody pulp.

“And if there’s a single drop of honor left in you,” said Dorian, “you will take that child in and care for her as she deserves.”

He had lost the love of his life. He had lost his brother. His brotherhood.

He had lost everything.

Under the heavy glares of everyone he loved in the world, he walked out of the library, numb, not feeling his own body.

No one stopped him.

He was banished.

They knew what he really was.

Nothing.