Chapter 24

“What do you think you are doing here?” Lydia hissed spitefully.

“You know what I am doing here,” Duncan stated, keeping his voice calm as he held her deathly glare. “I am here to bring my wife back home.”

It was two days later, and Duncan felt much restored. Through exercise, he’d purged whatever whiskey was left in him, and made up for the few days he’d let his body go without food. Sleep was still elusive, but with his fears securely locked away, he felt ready to fix what he had so carelessly broken.

“Corey, close the door, please,” Lydia called over her shoulder as she stepped outside.

She waited until she heard the door close to speak again.

“You cannot be serious, Your Grace,” she huffed, folding her arms defensively. “After everything you have done? Playing this wretched game of back and forth has ruined her, and I will not allow you to do it again!”

“I made a grave mistake,” Duncan admitted, throwing his hands up in surrender. “But I can fix it. Please, Lydia, allow me to talk to her.”

“I have my father’s pistol,” Lydia warned him, taking a threatening step toward him. “And I swear if you take one step toward the door, I’ll?—”

“Lydia?”

Duncan’s heart swelled and beat rapidly as he heard Alice’s voice from above, and he quickly looked up at the same time Lydia did.

“Duncan,” Alice whispered, her eyes locked on his. She was sitting on the window sill, leaning down to watch the scene.

Duncan felt a fist squeeze tightly around his heart as he imagined her falling down, and he stepped sideways until he was directly below her.

“Alice,” he begged, straining to keep his voice calm, “please, do not lean so far out of the window.”

“You’re going to chastise her now?” Lydia scoffed as Alice looked down at him with hurt eyes.

Duncan ignored her sister. He lost sight and sound of everything but the woman sitting a full story above him, leaning half her body out of the window. Relief washed over him when Alice fully leaned back inside and disappeared, and he finally drew another ragged breath. He missed seeing her face immediately, but knowing she was safe was worth it.

“You’ve upset her all over again,” Lydia accused venomously, shoving at his shoulder in a bold display of rage. “Get out of here now, or I’ll have our father see you thrown over the gates. Do not think your title can protect you from…”

But Duncan tuned her out as the door behind her opened and Alice appeared. From above, he had only been able to make out her familiar beautiful features, but now, much closer, he saw the toll their separation had taken on her.

She had lost considerable weight, as was apparent in the thin linen dress and light pink shawl she was wearing, and her face was pale and riddled with signs of exhaustion. The only hint of color on her face was the thin red lines above her bottom eyelids—a sign she’d been crying hard, and often.

The need to draw her into his arms and apologize over and over again nearly overwhelmed him, but he willed himself to keep a respectful distance between them as she quietly stepped outside.

“Let me talk to him, Lydia,” Alice stated calmly, her voice so weak that it made his gut ache.

Lydia whirled around, having not realized her sister had come outside. “Alice, sweetheart, you owe him nothing,” she said, standing protectively between Duncan and the woman he loved. “Go back inside, I beg you.”

Alice looked at Duncan in wary disbelief, still not sure that he was real. When she heard his voice from her window, she was sure she had finally lost what was left of her sanity, but the proof was here. The conflicting need to run to him and away from him immediately began to rip what was left of her heart into shreds as she took her estranged husband in, and she wrapped her shawl around herself tighter.

She vaguely felt Lydia at her side, pulling her arm and saying something about him not being worth her time. For a moment, her weak body let her sister pull her back into the house, but when she saw the look of shattered hope in Duncan’s eyes, she dug in her heels and pulled her arm out of her sister’s grasp.

Lydia quickly tried to take hold of her again, but this time Alice was more lucid and batted her hand away easily.

“Lydia, enough,” she pleaded, giving her older sister a wary look.

Lydia looked back at her with pure betrayal, but instead of saying anything, she pressed her lips tightly together and went back inside without another word.

“Alice,” Duncan breathed, sounding much more relieved.

“Come with me,” Alice told him, walking past him and down the steps before he could touch her.

Not waiting to see if he would follow her, Alice followed the small stone walk that led from the front door to the gate. From there, she followed the small stone path that led to their small but lush flower garden.

Though neither Duncan nor Lydia had noticed, a small crowd had started to gather outside their gates, and she was not willing to continue the talk with an audience.

“Alice, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry?—”

“Where have you been?” Her voice was hushed, but her tone was as sharp as a knife, cutting off his words with a single slice.

“Off in the woods, drunk, being a sorry excuse for a man,” Duncan answered.

His self-deprecating honesty almost made her laugh. Almost.

“You have been going on about how you want to protect me from harm, but, Duncan, ever since you came into my life, you are the only person or thing that has hurt me!” she snapped.

“But your ankle,” he tried to argue.

“Was nothing compared to the pain I felt when you left me,” she countered.

Duncan winced and took a step back as if she’d slapped him.

“I accepted your proposal because I thought that when you kissed me, there was real passion there,” she continued. “And how did you respond? By telling me that I was not what you wanted and I could not be what you needed. Pain. When you finally started to allow the desire building between us to manifest, it was wonderful, but when I tried to get to know you deeper, you ran. Pain.”

“Please stop,” Duncan rasped, his eyes pleading. “I know I hurt you, but I?—”

“And when you finally, finally, let me fully in and promised me that you weren’t going to hide anymore,” Alice pushed on, letting her rage and hurt seep into every word, “you left me. Pain, Duncan. Pain worse than any physical injury could cause.”

“It will not happen again,” he vowed, his eyes growing dark as he took a step closer to her. “I swear to you on our mothers’ graves that it will never happen again. No matter what happens to you or me, I will not run away from us.”

“How can I believe you?” Alice sobbed, pushing him away.

It was a miserably failed attempt, however, because as soon as her hands connected with his chest, his hands closed around her wrists and held her to him. Not strong enough to fight, Alice leaned her head against his sternum and let her tears fall. She hated how warm he was, how good he felt against her body.

Unable to help herself, she rubbed her cheek against his shirt and inhaled his scent. It filled her mind with erotic images, beautiful gardens, and midnight rains on the beach. Her mind and body ached not just for her husband but for their home. She missed Baxter, too. Not as much as him, but it had truly become her safe place.

“You have no idea what you have done to me,” she gasped, letting her pain out as he released her wrists so he could wrap his arms around her waist.

“I will give every duty to my steward,” Duncan promised, his lips sending shivers of desire through her as they pressed kisses to her hair. “I will take a break from boxing. I will not even go visit Thomas and Camilla. I will devote every second of my time to you and you alone until I prove that I cannot live without you.”

“Please do not say that if you do not mean it,” Alice begged, feeling her resolve begin to crumble.

Duncan lifted his hands to her face and gently lifted her chin until her eyes met his. With one hand, he slowly reached up and took off his mask, making her gasp. Though he had grown comfortable with her taking his mask off, he’d never done it himself until now. It was an action that spoke a thousand words.

“I love you, Alice Banfield, and I want you to come back to our home,” he told her, his deep voice quavering with emotion as he brought his lips closer to hers.

There they were. The three words that Duncan could never say before. And he meant them.

“And I love you,” Alice whispered, unable to keep it to herself. Not now, not even if this was goodbye.

Duncan’s entire body relaxed as he kissed her lips slowly, possessively, making her quiver with need.

“I want to take you back to our bed, in our quarters,” he murmured, his breathing ragged as he broke their kiss. “And I want to make love to you on every surface of our furniture until we pass out from exhaustion.”

Desire shot through Alice, making her dizzy. She had dreamed of him talking like this since she’d arrived at her father’s house, and hearing it was far better than any memory she had of him. Still, her heart was timid, no matter how willing her body was.

Slowly but firmly, she pressed her hands against his chest until he loosened his grip on her, and then she stepped back from him. Despite the late summer heat, Alice felt cold and empty the moment she was out of his embrace, and she looked up at him. His eyes were shining with heartbreak as she stepped away, and though it hurt to see him so pained, she strengthened her resolve.

“I cannot tell you how long I have yearned to hear those words,” she confessed, feeling her heart begin to hammer. “But they have come too late. I cannot give myself to you again if you are to run away like this every time something bad happens.”

“No,” Duncan replied quickly, his eyes wide with fear as he took a step toward her. “No, Alice. I swear to you I will never run away again. If you bid me to never leave the estate without you, I shall obey you readily.”

“What if I want you to tie me to you?” she asked, more serious than joking. “So you can never walk away from me.”

Dark lust overshadowed the worry in Duncan’s eyes as he took another step toward her and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Having you cuffed to me all day would be an honor,” he told her, his deep voice making an ache bloom between her legs. “Could you imagine the possibilities? Having you right there with me anytime I just want to reach out and…” he trailed off as he bent to kiss her wrist, and he pulled back when he saw his cravat tied there.

Alice’s cheeks flushed pink as he looked at her curiously.

“It was all I had of you,” she confessed in a hushed whisper.

The lust in his eyes was instantly replaced with a mix of regret and sadness. He looked back down at his cravat, then back up at her again, and planted a kiss on the black fabric.

“Let me prove to you how much I want you,” he insisted, his tone serious. “If you find my commitment less than satisfactory, all you have to do is speak with Ambrose. I have it on good authority that either he, Ezra, Morgan, or all three of them will bury me alive if I upset you again in any way.”

Feeling her own fear and heartache finally start to ebb away, Alice let the little bit of laughter she felt in her chest bubble up and spill out as she leaned her forehead against his chest.

“Any way, you say?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his back as she looked up at him.

“If I so much as prepare your tea wrong, I believe I am in for a good cuffing,” he further emphasized, relief flashing across his hard features. Leaning down and pressing his forehead against hers, he brought her palm to his lips as he looked into her eyes. “I swear to you though, you will never need to call on them.”

Though he’d been playful with the first part of his tale, Duncan was now very serious. It was more than just a promise. It was as if had spoken a law.

“Take me home,” Alice said softly, tipping her lips up to his.

A gruff sound of relief rumbled in Duncan’s chest as he brought his lips slowly down to hers, and she felt her broken heart begin to heal.